Yesung's POV

I had never seen Ryeowook so happy for almost a month... it had been long since he was smiling so widely and brightly. I hugged him closer to me as I sniffed his scent. He had fallen asleep after the wonderful dinner that we had. I understand that his body was still weak from the previous breakdown, but I didnt expect that he would be so hyped up after the dinner and even played games with the members. We all knew, he was pushing myself too hard from a few days back. I learnt from Sungmin and Kyuhyun that Leeteuk hyung had taken Ryeowook's diary and checked on his performance when we returned from the hospital. Leeteuk hyung had said that Ryeowook's condition wasnt very stable yet and we shouldnt bring him home but after a check up at the hospital after he fainted outside Kusan VIllage, I thought it would be best if we bring him home to rest, rather than letting him faced the white walls of the hospital again. I didnt want him to be in and out of hospital like it was his own house. None of us liked the feeling either. When Ryeowook and Sungmin were washing the dishes after dinner, Leeteuk hyung show me a part of Ryeowook's diary that he had snapped using his phone. "Save me please, save me from the misery, save me from the pain I have now. Save me from the fear I am feeling, save me from this nightmare that appears daily, save me from the agony inside me, save me from the tears and everything else. Save me from being hurt, save me from hurting myself, save me from all these thoughts, teach me how to stop... teach me how to be strong.. teach me how to face what's about to come, teach me how to let go, teach me how to forget, teach me how to survive..please... i beg you... please... i am losing... i am losing myself... slowly and it's killing me.. i dont want to.. i couldn't help it... i just... I couldnt.. I couldn't be strong enough to overcome all these by myself. I aint strong enough to fight it away." I stared at the paragraph and it was staring back at me strongly. I had never knew that my boy was feeling such an intense emotions in him. He wasnt the type who would voice out what he feel openly. We had to try many ways to make him to be truthful to us.

The paragraph was worrying me alot. It totally reflected on how i failed to understand his pain, and at the same time, nothing was even helping him to forget those emotions pain in him. I looked at the boy in my arms as I think back on the times he bit his bottom lips, just to make us worry less about him. The times when he smiles through his pains. The times when he stayed through the night just to hold on to his last breathe. Man... Ryeowook is really a stronger kid than I thought that he would. I his cheeks lightly before planting a kiss on them each. "Baby... you are really strong, i am proud of you.." I smiled. I sat up when the door slowly, revealing Donghae, Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun. They switched on the main lights and walked into the room. "Is Ryeowook asleep?" Kyuhyun asked as he sat down my bed. I had moved up for the time being... just to be safe and to be able to be there for Ryeowook, if he needs me. What's more, I couldn't fall asleep when all these things are happening. I just couldn't. "Yes... he fell asleep about 15 minutes ago.." I answered as he through his hair. We could all hear his peaceful soft snore when none of us spoke. "Hyung...Ryeowook is a strong kid.. you need rest too." Eunhyuk nudged me a little as I yawned. "It's okay, i will sleep when i am tired.." I tried to push the topic off. "You havnt been sleeping well in these 2 days and you need sleep to take care of yourself! We are here to watch over you two... we were...well...sent in by Teukie hyung." Donghae explained as he changed into his pajamas. "You are all gonna sleep here?" I asked in shock. Since when had Leeteuk hyung become such a mother. "Ya man, you got that right. We are going to sleep here tonight, Minnie is just getting a shower, he will be here soon, meanwhile, please have some sleep hyung." Kyuhyun smiled as he pulled me on to my bed and pushed me down on the bed. "But..." I tried to protest, but I all could do was to sit up and be pushed down by Kyuhyun again. "Yesung-ssi, one last time, you are doing this, i am gonna wake Ryeowook up." Kyuhyun snapped when i did that for about twenty or more times. "But i cant sleep! you can't force someone who is not sleepy to sleep!" I tried to explain, but i yawned in the end. "Yaaaa... you are NOT so sleepy yea hyung?" Kyuhyun snorted as he pushed me back down on the bed. "Sleep!" He told me and i couldn't help it but to listen to him. Once my head reached the pillow, I immediately fell into deep slumber.

Donghae's POV

"And he said he wasnt tired, stubborn hyung." Kyuhyun complained when he shook Yesung hyung a little. "Yah, yah, let him be. Let's go to sleep." Eunhyuk rushed us to sleep. I ignored him and looked at Ryeowook's peaceful smile when he was sleeping. "Hyukkie.. look at wookie.. he is smiling so peacefully." I told Eunhyuk when he looked at me, waiting for me to sleep beside him. "Ahhhh.... he looked so happy isnt he?" "Neh... I just want to stay up the whole day and look over him, he looked just like a sleeping angel now, dont he?" "Hae uh, since we are not that tired, why not we look over him?" "Seriously? I was just joking!" "I know... but dont you think it's rare to see his smile? I think it was pretty beautiful to see him so hyper today." "haha, i guessed you are right Hyukiee, but now it makes us looked like parents looking at their child." I joked. "Then Yesung hyung will be our...son-in-law?" We stared at each other before we burst into small little giggles. "Wow... it's hard to even imagine yea.?" I laughed. Really.. it had been so long since is see the boy smiled so peacefully. Is either I see him moody and crying or tearing in pain and agony. It's hard to see him smile this few weeks. And i wished that today will never end, cause it was one of the few times that he was actually so happy and free from everything. The whole group of us was happy too, not mentioning Yesung hyung. We could see that he was really happy today too. He was so afraid that Ryeowook would give up on himself and he practically stared at Ryeowook all the way from Kusan Village to the hospital and back to the dorm. He was so afraid that he was talking to Ryeowook non stop, and his back softly, consistently sobbing because he wa so afraid. We had never seen him so broken before and even with Teukie hyung comforting him and making him porridge doesnt even help at all. I looked over at Yesung hyung who was snoring lke a pig on his bed now. "and he said he wasnt tired.." Eunhyuk sighed beside me as he laid on my shoulder. "Kyuhyun uh, are you asleep yet?" Sungmin hyung walked in. "No, i am still awake. why?" Kyuhyun whispered back. "Nothing, i am just checking on you.." Sungmin replied as he closed the door and went to Kyuhyun. "Saranghae." Sungmin hyung kissed Kyuhyun and I smiled a little. "Hyukiee, let's get some sleep, shall we?" I asked him. "Yah yah, i am yawning already.. let's sleep."

Kyuhyun's POV

Everyone went into neverland when they hit the pillows, everyone was happy that Ryeowook was back to normal.. why at least for now. SOmehow I feel that it was just the silence before a storm, but i didnt dare to think so much about it. I couldn't sleep that night.. so i sat up on the floor and looked out of the window. "Hmm..urgh..." I heard a soft mumbling. I turned back and saw Ryeowook tearing in his sleep. Wasnt he smiling just now? I walke dover to him and on the main switch, which woke the rest up. "ahh..Kyuhyun why!!" Sungmin hyung growled as he sat up from his bed, but i couldnt care less. "Ssssh.... Ryeowook is crying hyung.." I whispered softly, immediately Yesung hyung went to him and slowly sat him up and brought him towards his chest. "Ryeowook, why are you crying?" He asked. I stared at them. Ryeowook was still asleep at that moment but his cries were getting louder... and even Teukie hyung came in to check on us. "What's wrong?" He came in softly. "Ryeowook is crying.." Eunhyuk started. "I can hear that, why?" He sat down next to us on Yesung hyung's bed. Yesung hyung had woke Ryeowook up from his sleep and the two were noe cuddling each other on Ryeowook's bed, Ryeowook was still sobbing. "I dont know. He doesnt know the reason either, he just feel very sad, very very sad, but he didnt know about the reason." Donghae hyung explained. "Well..." Teukie hyung was lost for words though. We just sat there and accompany the couple. Everything was like a dead end. No beginning, no ending. I had no idea what's gonna happen anytime soon. But Ryeowook's tears wasn't a good sign at all.   

Yesung's POV

I pulled Ryeowook in my arms and his back. I want to know what had caused this huge amount of tears from him. "Ryeowookie, is okay... hyung is here. it's okay.. I will protect you.. what happen?" I asked him. "It..feels.. so ..cold.. so ..cold.. hyung, i can see myself... struggling to survive in thewater.... i was drowning.. in the sea.. i couldn't swim back up... it felt so cold.. it felt so cold..." Ryeowook sobbed. I looked at those in the room and they looked at me with a very worried expression. "Ryeowookie..." I called him trying to calm him down but all h could do was to cry out loud. "hyung... i am really scared that i am going to die..." He sobbed. "You wont, baby, trust hyung you wouldn't" I kissed him on his lips. He calmed down afte that and fell asleep after sometime.

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Urgh, i feel that i failed as a writer. Forgive me for this crappy chapter :xx mianhae.