Ryeowook's POV

I woke up after a nasty nightmare. I was sweating all over. I was alone in the room. Where is Yesung hyung? I looked at the time. It was 9am in the morning already. I pushed the blanket away and wanted to stand up, but I didnt have the strength to. I wanted to call out for Yesung hyung, but I couldn't speak. The room became really chilly suddenly. It was then I realised that the diamond heart on my necklace was gone, probably melted away through the hours when I was sleeping soundly. The feeling was strong... I knew someone else was here, not only me.. I wasnt alone. I wanted to run out into the living room where I heard laughters from the members. I wanted to alert them that I was afraid, that sometimes was gonna happen. But I couldn't, I couldn't make a sound, I couldn't move. I was totally controlled by an unknown force. I felt myself being slowly lifted into the air. I was floating in the air but I couldn't move at all. My fear of height overwhelmed me, but I couldn't react to it. It was as if my nervous system was blocked. I only knew I was afraid at that point of time. I tired to move but I was completely controlled. "Ryeowook, you shouldn't be running away from me." It was Alex. He came into view and pulled me higher into the air, I was almost leaning against the ceiling. I didnt want to look down but he forced me to. The height... the height between me and the ground was really freaking me out. I felt myself getting weaker and weaker as my fear creeped into me at the instant when Alex unlocked my nervous system. I could feel all the pain and fear shooting in my body at the same time. It was too much to handle. I tried to make a sound, but nothing came out. The pain in my body was too much for me to handle that I started to vomit blood out. One drip... two drip... my blood decorated the bedroom floor.. My tears mixed with my sweat and dripped down my face to mix with the red droplets along the way to decorate the beautiful wall ground. "Ryeowook, I need your blood. Give them all to me." Alex said as he traced his fingers all over my face. I couldn't move nor could I move away from his touch.

I am like a frozen solid up in the solid, only able to drip blood on the bedroom floor. I wanted so much to cry. I wanted so much to be in Yesung hyung's embrace. I wanted a member to walk in to check on me. I dont want to be with Alex. Yes, I am terrified. I had never felt so lonely before. I hate being alone. I hate it. My parents were both working, and ever since I was able to walk and read, I was often left alone with my grandmother at home. Due to my grandmother's age, she couldn't really play with me. My parents didnt allowed me out of the house. Thus, I didnt have the chance to mix with other kids in our neighbourhood. Until I started to school, it was when I started to make friends, but because of my personality. Only a few people approached me and tried to be friends with me,i was too shy. So up till when I was a member of Super Junior, I only had a few friends. I hate being alone, because I was afraid, I am afraid that no one knew about my presence. My parents didnt gave me the love i needed. It was when I joined the team, the hyungs, Kibum and Kyuhyun really took care of me well. Teukie hyung was like my umma and KangIn hyung like my appa. BOth of them really took care of me well. When I needed to go to the school, they will bring me to school together with the manager and made sure I was in my class safetly before they leave for their lessons. Whenever I was being surrounded by fans, they will always saved me out. Heechul hyung was like my big brother who always looked out for me in every area. He taught me some pranks and tricks to disturb the members, I learnt both good and bad things from him, like what the members always said. Hangeng hyung always cooked my favourite meal whenever he was free and will teach me chinese whenever possible. Shindong hyung taught me alot of knowledge on food and videos. Sungmin hyung treated me like his own brother and shared alot of things with me. He was the one who got me to be confident in my own cooking skills. Siwon hyung led me in believing and trusting people around me in different situation. Eunhyuk hyung and Donghae hyung were like my best friends, where we will always hang out together and played games with one another. Kyuhyun and Kibum were friends of my age and we get along very well, we often played games and do stuffs together. Yesung hyung taught me how to love, how to smile and to be loved. I wanted so much to shout for the members but I was still frozen up in the ceiling.

The fear was eating me up. I choked on my own tears and with all the strength and might I had, I let out a soft scream which immediately caused me to drop down from the ceiling. I met the ground with a thud. It was painful and the pain shot up my body. I didnt know where did the pain come from but I had no time to think about that. Alex was smiling at me when he knelt down beside me. I cried hard when he pressed his nails into my shoulders. "I need your blood.. There is no way, you could run away from me. There is no way you could. I need your blood for someone whom i really love, deeply.. i know you know how much it hurts to not be the one that you loved. I really loved Jennifier and I need your blood to bring her back to me.." He said as he his fingers against my arm. I could no longer made any sounds out again. I was crying and crying when I felt his warm breathe on my neck. "Shall I have some fun with you first? You are really pretty from a boy.. besides, it had been gaes since I last a person." He smirked. I tried to shift away from him, but I couldnt. I was too weak... I cried even harder when I felt him touching me all over my body. He was about to kiss me when a sudden force pushed him away. He looked stunned and slapped me hard against my cheek. "Are you trying to be funny?" He hissed and lean down to attack me again. I felt like dying at the instance when he kissed me on my neck and roam my body with his hands. I only belonged to Yesung hyung, he shouldn't be doing this. "Ryeowook... Close your eyes and breathe... I will help you..." It was Ron! Ron was here to help me. For once, I felt i was free in the room from morning till now. I closed my eyes and felt something entered my body. I was gaining strength and I was able to push him away from me. He was about to attack me again when I found the strength in me and I screamed. "YESUNG HYUNGGGG!" I felt weak right after I screamed. Alex was crawling on me when suddenly a sound of a punch sounded through the room. I looked up and saw Yesung hyung throwing Alex to the wall and punching him hard in the stomach. Kangin hyung came in and stopped him when all Alex did was to cough and laugh. "I will be back, you just wait." He told him and he disappeared into thin air.

"RYEOWOOK!" He screamed when he saw the state I was in. I was hurt, once again. I was in pain, once again. I made Yesung hyung worried, once again. I lost to my will, once again. I could only burst into loud cries when he embraced me into his arms as he carried me back up to the bed. He kissed my forehead attempting to calm down. I couldn't... I knew I couldn't.. I was too sacred, to afraid to even say anything after now. I didnt know what to do, all along i was acting strong so as to not worry the members, but I couldn't do it anymore. This thing was tearing me apart, tearing me into million pieces, into a thrash. I was weak, I AM weak. I couldn't fight the things that are constantly attacking me. I didnt want to disappoint my hyungs, but I couldn't stop myself from not doing it. Almost everyday, Yesung hyung had to hug me and kiss me JUST to calm me down from crying. Almost everytime, he was looking at me with his eyes filled with hurt and concer. I had enough... i dont like angst at all. I had enough of everything. It was breaking me apart. I didnt even had the strength to say anything, all I could do, was to break down. I had lost count of how times I had been driven to this state when I was so scared and tired, so hurt and tore. I knew the members were hurt, looking at me behaving in this way. I couldn't help it. It wasn't something I wanted nor volunteered to do. I didnt ask for all these. "Ryeowook?" Yesung hyung called out softly to me. I slowly lifted my head up and looked at him. I could see my love filled with hurt and concerns. I was about to break down more when he kissed me softly on my nose as he rubbed my cheekbones softly. I even attempted to kill him before... Yesung hyung... i am so sorry.. i still couldn't get over the fact that i had tried to kill you with my bare hands after I woke up from a week of coma. I am still unable to accept the fact that I tried to kill you. I couldn't take the pressure and stress in me anymore. I broke down into louder cried, shocking him.

Yesung's POV

He broke into loud cries and I was taken aback by it. I stared at him, i knew he was thinking, but i didnt know what was he thinking about. But whatever it was, it was killing him slowly. He was breaking down at this point. I noticed that the diamond heart had melted away. I took out a larger one which Ron left by the bedside when I woke up this morning. Ron didnt want us to go to the village at this point of time, so he brought the diamond hearts to us instead. I placed the diamond heart on his necklace again and hugged him into my arms. Rocking him from side to side doesnt seemed to help at all. "Darling..look at me.. Your eyes... they are already swollen. Please stop crying.." I said as I his cheekbones again. Sungmin placed a basin of water beside me and I took the towel inside the basin and wiped Ryeowook's face. "Stop crying!" I told him as I wiped his tears away. "Ryeowook.. It's okay.. I am here, from now onwards, I am gonna be with you 24/7, you heard me? Nothing is gonna happen to you. Sorry baby... I am so sorry. I will never leave yoou.. Do you know why?" He shook him hand as he looked at me into my eyes. "Because... Ryeowook uh... Your eyes, they show me how beautiful life really is, your smile turns me into a drug addict with no cure, your presence reminds me of the smell of roses, your feel makes me a mad person who can never be sane and your love cures me from all the cuts,wounds and pain. So there is no reason why i would leave you. I am really sorry for leaving you in the room... and letting that er hurt you.. are you okay?" I asked him. He was sobbing a little as I his back. "Neh.. thankyou..." He sobbed. "Silly boy, there isn't a need to thank me." I smiled and carried him out into the living room. Siwon wanted to do some prayers in our room, so i brought Ryeowook out into the living room. He must have worned out from the cryings that he was slowly falling asleep in my arms. The members ran towars us and checked on him. I placed him down on the couch and his cheek, giving him a kiss on his soft lips, before going to the kitchen, im attempt to cook something for him.

"Donghae, could you help me wake Ryeowook up?" I asked as I poured some hot soup into a small bowl, with Sungmin's help. I carried the bowl to a half-waken Ryeowook. I placed it on the coffee table in front of me as I hugged the small boy and let him rest on my shoulders. "Eat something, okay?" I told him and scooped a small amount of soup into the spoon and blew it cool, before feeding him slowly. "How does it taste?" I asked him, he smiled and took the spoon from my hand and cotinue drinking from the bowl. "Do you have more?" He asked. "More of? My love, my hugs, my kisses or my cooking?" "Hyung cooked this?" "Yes darling." "I want more!" "More of? My love? Or you want my hugs? or my kisses?" I as Sungmin went off and got more of the soup from my baby. "All!" He smiled and leaned on my chest as he played with fingers. "Hyung.. can you say that to me again?" He asked. "Say? Say what wookie?" I was a little a confused at the moment. "Say... what you told me in the room just now..." He said softly. "stop crying?" I asked him, i knew what he wanted me to tell me and I pretended i didnt know about it. The members who were sitting around us were smiling at us. "No... another one... longer version.." He said."Nothing is gonna happen to you. Sorry baby?" I asked again. "after that..." He blushed. I smiled and shifted my boyfriend, so he was looking at me now. "Ryeowook uh... Your eyes, they show me how beautiful life really is, your smile turns me into a drug addict with no cure, your presence reminds me of the smell of roses, your feel makes me a mad person who can never be sane and your love cures me from all the cuts,wounds and pain." I said slowly and clearly to him. "Hehehe, I like this!" He giggled and hugged me. I laughed at my little Wookie. "You are cute." I messed his hair as he drank the soup that Sungmin had just brought over.

"Your eyes, they show me how beautiful life really is, your smile turns me into a drug addict with no cure, your presence reminds me of the smell of roses, your feel makes me a mad person who can never be sane and your love cures me from all the cuts,wounds and pain." Eunhyuk cupped Donghae's face and copied the way I said it. "Hyung! you are so mushy, seriously!" He added. "That's why Wookie loves me." I smiled as I told him that and held Ryeowook's hands in mine. "Wookie uh, I mean it.. Those things I had said. I meant it .. Dont be afraid to lean on me okay. Hyung is made of steel, so I can protect you." I messed his hair as he looked at me. I could see that he was trying his best not to cry. "Silly boy, if you want to cry, just cry, dont hold it in, you are not weak when you cry. You cry because you have been strong for too long that you needed a break. Got it?" I his back as I brought me into my embrace. "I am always here for you, whenever you feel sad or angry, just hit me. I might not be able to comfort you but at least I am always there, in your sight. You are never alone." I whispered softly into his ears. "Hyung...." He whined. I pushed him back alittle so I can look at him. He was tearing. I smiled as I wiped them away. "You are touched aint you, my lovely baby?" I teased as I cupped his cheeks and leaned in for a kiss. Akiss filled with emotions, filled with aplogsies that i couldnt relate to him when he was left alone in the room in the morning. he was almost by the person he feared so much. I am sorry Ryeowook, that i couldn't protect you in time, if it wasn't for Ron who helped, I think I might be facing and dealing with a much more broken you. Forgive hyung for my careless. Forgive hyung for not being able to save you from the point when you needed me the most. Forgive hyung for not being there in time to catch you from your fell. Forgive hyung fo letting that thing to almost took you away from me. FOrgive hyung for being useless. I am really sorry baby... really sorry.