VMON

They had never really talked about it in the group but Taehyung thinks that he is the first one who he should tell. It wasn’t because he is the leader but he knew that if anyone, Namjoon should understand.  When Namjoon sits down, Taehyung has a straight face and the leader thinks that something had gone wrong.  It wasn’t often that he saw the younger serious.  Well… not with him anyway. Serious things, oddly enough for Taehyung was reserved for when Jimin and he were alone.

“So, what’s up? What did you want to talk about?”  Namjoon asks and for a moment Taehyung sinks into his seat. There is a long pause, which the older isn’t too uncomfortable with as he waits to hear what the younger has to say. 

“You’re the first person I’m telling this too and, I don’t know how you’ll react to this… but, I like men.” Taehyung had been looking down at the floor but then looks up, face scrunched up as if it was physically painful for him to voice that out loud.

“Oh… okay?”  He was sure his bandmate was expecting more of a reaction to that as the face that he was making changed into a more confused one. Taehyung’s eyes opening and closing rapidly as if trying to catch something that he missed- and feeling the need to explain himself, Namjoon is about to open his mouth to speak when the younger talks.

“That’s it?”

“I mean, well… yeah, what do you want me to do? Get weirded out and avoid you for the next week or so?” He quirks his brow and laughs at the thought, “become all egotistical and think that you like me because I’m a guy… and you like guys? Come on, we’ve known each other forever, just because you’re into guys is not going to make a difference between us.” Taehyung at this point seems more relaxed, his face had set into an amused expression. Namjoon gets up from his chair and walks toward the kitchen to get a bottle of water as the younger follows him.

“But… hyung.”

“Yeah?”  Namjoon says twisting in his place once he’s gotten his bottle of water from the fridge and leans against one of the counters as he prepares himself for what the other was going to say.

“I do like you.”

Namjoon isn’t sure if Taehyung his messing with him, with the quirk of the lips it didn’t seem convincing but at the same time- “I mean I guess it’s not that I like you, but I find you very attractive and—” he found the other looking him up and down.

“A- an- and and and what?” Namjoon fumbles with the cap of the bottle a little flustered for some reason; not that he would have a problem with it if the other had;  but when the younger is making it clear, and saying it so bluntly, he’s unsure of how to react.

“Well you know…” It couldn’t have been true, Taehyung had to be messing with him, there was no way that- why is he moving towards Namjoon? He opens the fridge door to get a bottle of water himself and Namjoon lets out a sigh of relief. 

“No… I don’t think I do.”

“Hyung seriously?  Do you want me to say it out loud?” A sigh. Taehyung pinches the bridge of his nose before he let his hand drop then looks up at Namjoon once again. “Why do you think I’ve never showered with you and have-with about everyone else in the dorm?”

Now that he thinks about it, it is true, why had Taehyung never done that to him? And on the other hand, there were plenty of times that he heard shrieks from the bathroom because Taehyung walked in on any given group member for the nth time while showering.

“Wh- why why.. why don’t you?”

Taehyung moves closer and places his water bottle on the counter beside Namjoon before placing his hands on either side of him, leaning forward as he shifts his weight on to the counter;  “Because hyung--”

He is cut off by Namjoon, “Yah; why are you doing this, I know you’re just messing with me.” Smack. 

“You’re right... I’m sorry,” There it is, the toothy grin that he had been expecting all along. “I was kidding.”

“You don’t like men?”

“No, you’re very good looking, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not attracted to you.”  Taehyung chuckles as he pulls away and Namjoon can now let out a sigh of relief. He moves back closer though, dropping his smile only for a moment to a sincere one, “But thank you hyung, for the way you reacted.”

“You know the others would say the same thing too Taehyung-ah; the fact that you like men won’t make a difference at all in the dorm.” As the younger pulls away and goes to what he had been previously doing before he had explained that he wanted to talk, Namjoon misses a frown that takes over Taehyung’s lips.

For the next few days, Namjoon is taunted by Taehyung and being extremely suggestive with him but he soon catches on and the older plays along. It is one of those days that they had ended up on the couch; tuned into one of the channels on TV. It played a movie; a gay themed movie that Namjoon had watched already and settled upon before Taehyung joined him.

“Whatcha watching?” Taehyung asks as he joins him on the couch, and after a while of inspection and before Namjoon could reply, he nods, “Ahhh wait, this one. I know this one.”

“Do you want me to change it?”

“No no, I like it, we can watch it.” Taehyung sits beside Namjoon, maybe a little too close but Namjoon doesn’t mind. He doesn’t think much of it. As the movie progresses Namjoon, is finally the first one to cut the focus on the movie.

“Oh lord,  I hate when people do this,  he’s not afraid to kiss random girls that he’s not even attracted to on the street and now it’s weird to kiss his friend that he’s known for about 5 years? I mean damn why do you have to act like you’re about to make out with a different species.” He had gotten a little too into the movie and the next thing he hears is Taehyung laughing and he turns to the younger male. “… what? It’s just nonsense okay?”      

“Hyung… wouldn’t you feel weird kissing a guy more than girl?”

“Well, not if I’ve known them for that long. If I’m not necessarily attracted to a woman it’d be the same, I would feel more comfortable with the guy even, because we’ve known each other, I would much rather kiss you than some other random person.”

Taehyung laughs again, not really sure what he was hearing from the latter. “Why are you getting so passionate about this?”

“It’s just annoying.  You know what? Come here, let me kiss you I mean what-”

“What?”

 “Nothing.”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind.”

“It’s okay, hyung, we can kiss, I mean it’s not like I’ve never imagined us kissing.”

“You’ve imagined us kissing?”

“I’ve imagined much more.”

“You have?”

“Uh huh.”

“How much more?”

“Do you want to kiss or not?”

A long pause.

“To prove a point, yes.” Namjoon turns in his seat and places a hand on the younger’s knee. Once Taehyung readies himself, the elder moves closer, only to be stopped right before their lips meet by the other’s voice.

“You’re sure about this?”  He quirks a brow at Namjoon and he is quick to assure him that if he isn’t, he wouldn’t be doing this. “…okay.” He didn’t know what Taehyung was thinking but all thought had slowed in his mind as their lips meet, eyes closing as he feels the younger’s soft flesh against his.

Their lips mould against one another, and the background sounds seem to fade as he got into it.  It’s odd only because it was his friend yet no different than kissing just about anyone else. Namjoon slides his hand up to snake it around the younger’s waist and Taehyung moves to shift his weight slightly on to his band mate.  Before the kiss progresses any further, Taehyung pulls away; pressing his hands against the leader’s chest he pushes him back, their eyes interlocking as they open them.

“Yeah… so, we can’t do this.” He says and Namjoon lets go of the younger only to sit up straight.

“Why? What’s wrong? I didn’t mean to-”

“No it’s not that… I have to admit something.”  Taehyung makes a face; scratching the back of his neck before he continues, “I used to have a crush on you… I mean it was nothing serious but,” this time Namjoon really doesn’t know what to say and opts to stay quiet for the next few moments.

“So… is that the time that you imagined, us- doing stuff more than kissing?”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

Namjoon nods, only to ask another question, despite the fact that he is sure that it is far from appropriate, “how much more?”

Taehyung’s lips quirk in to a slight grimace.

“Is it a lot?”

“A lot… well more or less.”

“Have you… done stuff while imagining those things?”

A laugh was the only reply the leader got to that, and Taehyung gets up from the couch, “Alright hyung, good night.”

“So you have? I think I would be oddly flattered if you have.” As the blonde male speaks the other turns around, he returns only to pat the elder’s cheek and cups it for a second to lean down and peck the other’s lips before he let his hand slide off.

“Maybe. That’s for me to know and you to wonder. I’ll tell you this though; in my mind, you look great .”

As Taehyung leaves, Namjoon is thrown into confusion. As much as his mind tells him that this is wrong, and that he shouldn’t feel so satisfied knowing what he knows, he can’t help but feel a tiny bit vain. Before the younger disappears into the bedroom the members shared, he pokes his head out.

“Stop grinning hyung, you’re supposed to be straight.”