REVIEW PICKUP: MsYeollie

Title:  4/5

'Conversations over Coffee' seems unique and portrays the basic silhouette of the story.

Description: 3.5/5

Short and discreet. Doesn't give away anything much. I like how it all connects in the end. Great job!!

Vocabulary: 8/10

Simple and not too elaborate. Plus, not everything needs needs words that sound medically right and end up meaning something that's total trash; so most of the feelings in this fic were basic and you you used basic words to explain them. Kudos!!

Grammar: 6/10

I understand that English isn't exactly your first language but you handled it perfectly; with the exception of some past tense and present tense mistakes. Gwad I sound like some snobby British teacher.

Like here:

'Some think it would be fun to mess up with the documents'

Correction: Some thought it would be fun to mess up with the documents.

Since Chanyeol is retelling a past event, the word 'think' becomes 'thought'.

'figure out that I detested vanilla latte'

Correction: figure out that I detest vanilla latte

Here it is detest  because it is past continuous, since it's like a fact. But detested is still grammatically right though.

I was almost going to give an example but my mind was being disgusting.

Pretty sure there’s not a word ‘dumb’ in that sentence.

Correction: Pretty sure there’s not the word ‘dumb’ in that sentence.

Because you were being particular about a single word or words; it will still be 'the'

Plot: 9/10

It was awesome!!! I loved the way you portrayed the characters from the very beginning. Even though there are many Coffee shop themed fics out there and they end up being really cheesy; I really thought yours was daebak...or should I say ChanBaek....Huehuehue...Idk what that was but it sounded similar and funny to me. Never mind me Author-nim!! You're awesome anyway!!

Effect on reader: 9/10

Truth be told I misread like a whole paragraph and I thought Chanyeol left Bacon forever...and then Germany scored a goal.

Writing tip: Matches and aren't a good mix.

I really like how you made it seem like they're going to break up but then...bam!! Chanyeol still loves his Bacon. 

Flow: 10/10

The transition from one part of their relationship to the other was well conducted. You made it seem like Baek and Chanyeol still had something to grasp on to; a part of their relationship that both of them wanted to work on, together.

Excellent job!!  

Overall:  90/100

It was superfragilisticexpialidociously awesome. Why is there a Mary Poppins reference here? We will never know. It's probably because I couldn't find a word to express this fic; in a nice way that is.

Now, Some Actual Writing Tips: 

Note: I had like 7 Gatorades before I wrote this. I haven't felt so sleep deprived in my life. I'm sorry for the crack!! I promise you that this has some tips in there..somewhere...?

• No 1. When adding lyrics make sure they're in the middle so it kind of adds like this aesthetic/beauty to the story. It also explains that the lyric is the inspiration or has reference to the story; but that isn't included if the lyric is within the story, as in when Chanyeol sings to Baek. Kyaaa!!! I can see him with his guitar next to Baek, singing along...
• No 2. Always think humanly while writing fics. Just because some part of your fic has a character with some special supernatural power or whatever doesn't mean everyone else is like elite and stuff and fly around on hover boards. This doesn't apply to your fic but it's good to keep in mind that even though EXO are extraterrestrials from EXO- Planet; they're still human...kinda...they're wolves too...But you get the point.
• No 3. Try to be the most original you can be. Even if your title is cheesy like "Kiss Me When The Spotlight Ends", try your best to be original as possible and add twists and all that fancy-smancy writing things. On second thought, that title is pretty good. ITS MINE, ALL MINE. TheSparliestVampire®©2014. Lol JK. 
• No 4. ALWAYS WORK HARD. Even if you think you're story is complete crack and stuff; there still might be that one reader who loves your story and would love to read more. That one reader is all that matters in the end; because somewhere out there, there is a girl/guy I don't judge who read it and thought it was awesomely awesome that Chanyeol finally found his twin and now live happily with their boyfriend Byun BaekHyun. What? I said it was crack, didn't I?
• No 5. Expect the least, prepare for the best. I know a couple of stories which have really less subs and comments and yet they have an awesome plot. And yet, they're still like "OMG you're all so supportive. Thank you!!." I find that really admirable and they inspire me to write stories too.
• No 6. Always be yourself. Don't change for anyone. Not even if they're the President of America or something. Always be the 'you' you've always wanted to be. That's what separates you from being any ordinary modern-day bimbo.

Best Of Luck Author-Nim!! I hope to see one of your stories on the featured list someday!! Okay I might be expecting a little to much...But Good Luck on writing!! I know my tips are lame and all but you wanted some; so these were the most relevant to me no matter what kind of author you are. 

REVIEWER: TheSparliestVampire
FINISHED ON: 14th July 2014
Reviews are not meant to insult so please don't take our reviews too harshly! This is only from one's point of view.

You can read her story here!