Intro.

“Why can’t guys take a hint?” I fumed, while my best friend lay down on my bed, eating chips.

I paced back and forward, completely frustrated about the day’s events. “I mean, I’ve been like this for ages. Why in the world am I in love with him?”

“Love works in strange ways.” Jenna was like my mother and sometimes acted like my lover and most of the time was my best friend.

“I mean, like….argh.”

“Baby,” Jenna got up from the bed and walked up to me and gave me a hug “Changmin is just an idiot. He’s so childish, remember last time I took his cookie, and he glared at me, then didn’t speak to me the whole entire day.”

I sighed, releasing the hug. “I know, and I know I never should have fallen for him, but…” I give up.

“Babe, you can’t give up.” She tried to reassure me. “Everyone knows that your perfect for each other, but he just has to grow up…just a little more…”

“But he’s 21 now,” I pointed out, not that I needed to. Changmin was Jenna’s cousin.

“I know, but maybe, you should…I don’t know, just give up for a while. And maybe, just go out with another guy.”

I stared at Jenna like she was some alien. “You’re kidding, right? I mean, seriously look at me. I’ve been trying to get Changmin to like me ever since I realised I loved him in the tenth grade. That was when I was 16. It’s been FIVE years. FIVE. He still doesn’t know I like, even alone LOVE him. So how in the world could I get any other guy to like me?”

“But babe, you haven’t realised it, but for the past FIVE years guys have been hitting on you. But sometimes…well, most the time you’re blinded by your love for Changmin you don’t realize it.”

“Really? Name one instance.” I was skeptical of her idea, and I wanted her to prove it.

“One? I could name a dozen from the top of my head.” She stated, “Remember Kim Jaejoong, the cute guys from your chemistry class in eleventh grade, huh? Remember how he always would ask you for help, or would ask to borrow your pencil sharpener?”

“Yeah, what about him?”

“Dude, are you this dense?!” She sat me down on the bed, and held my hands, “Baby, did you ever see Jaejoong use a pencil? Ever?! All he had were pens and pacers. Didn’t you ever notice that Jaejoong was always at the top range of the class? He even bet you on the assessment tasks in chemistry, and didn’t you find it odd?!”

I thought over it, “Really?”

“Yes! Really! But you wouldn’t remember because the entire time you were preoccupied by looking at Changmin, and his ‘oh-so-muscular-arms’. I felt sorry for Jaejoong.”

“Well, why didn’t he ever ask me out?”

“Because, you won’t bloody let him! Every time he’d come up to you after class, you’d brush him off and run out of the classroom to catch a glimpse at Changmin playing basketball at lunch.”

“…But that was high-school.” I tried to brush it off.

“Oh okay then, what about Junsu, the guy who had the nice in church choir? Remember him? He was gorgeous and he had a great voice. He would always sing and look at you. He would always help you packed up after church was over. He even offered to give you piano lessons?! I mean, who would do that unless you really liked the person?!”

I tried to think back to church choir, but all I could remember was Changmin as an alter server boy, and god did he look good in white.

“And if want recent, the most recent one I can think about is that guy from about a month ago, he works at the uni bar. Uh, I think his name was Yoochun. He was a real ladies man, and then he had his sites set on you. But you rejected him. I mean, it’s not like I wanted you to go out with the guy. But, the problem was you didn’t even realize it!”

“Wait, how did I reject him?” I remembered Yoochun, he was good-looking and rumored to be a ladies man. But I don’t remember him ever hitting on me. But I was only there to watch Changmin sing on the ‘live band nights’.

“You shut him down all the time. You never paid attention to him. You never noticed his winks, playboy smiles-”

“Okay! I get it! I need help.”

“No, what you need is to show Changmin that you won’t always be there. That you HAVE a life that doesn’t include him!”

Jenna was right. She was absolutely right. I’ve known Changmin ever since primary school. In third grade, he and Jenna had come to Sydney, Australia from Seoul in Korea. There English wasn’t that good, but I thought it was cute that they couldn’t speak English well. So I befriended them, when no-one else would. I found the Korean language so cute and adorable. I found Changmin was even more so.

We continued to be friends, right up until high school. Long before then, Changmin and Jenna spoke English very well, you couldn’t tell that they were born in Korea. I was even Changmin’s first kiss. Given, it was an accident. It was in the fifth grade, and I was over at Changmin and Jenna’s house. Jenna had gone into the kitchen to get a glass of water, and Changmin and I had both decided that we both wanted the last chip. We both reached for the packet, and well Changmin got to it first and he placed it in between his lips and stuck it out, teasing me. And me, being the ‘mature-one’, decided to lean forward and grab the chip with my lips. But me, being a graceless eleven year old goose at the time, over calculated my ‘lean’ and managed to not only crush the chip but also steal Changmin’s first kiss/peck. Looking back on it, it was all so cute.

But in seventh grade, everything changed. Well, gradually…seventh grade was more the transition. Jenna and I stayed close through all the years. But Changmin was ‘popular’, he developed muscles because his parents forced him to exercise due to the large amounts of food he ate. He was talented and smart. And so the cute, shy, awkward, young boy I had meet in third grade was gone and replaced by a confident, talented, good-looking young man, who was distanced from me.

In year eight, all we did was say ‘hi’ to each other. I missed him so much. In year nine, we barely spoke unless we were at his place, because Jenna’s parents died when she was young, and thus moved in with Changmin’s family. Thus whenever I’d visit her, Changmin would sometimes be home.

In year ten, it was the first time I’d realised I’d fallen for him. It was when it was time for the ‘Year Ten Formal’, and it was that nigh when he was dancing under the dimmed lighting in the gym hall with Mandy Chan, that I had fallen for him. It was all so sudden, I was sitting down, facing the dance floor, but all I could see was Changmin’s face, his eyes slightly closed as he had his arms around Mandy. His white tuxedo making him more angel like. But then, he leaned in and kissed her, gently on the lips.

I felt a pain in my chest, as I watched him hold her. Then I felt jealous, of how much I wanted to be the one in his arms. Then it hit me. I loved him.

I really loved him. 

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A/N: So how was it? Good? Not good?

I'm planning to make it like a three-shot. Just some light romantic, comedy...with ranting...XP

Thanks for reading...my unedited work, XP

aliceeyychan

P.S. Yes, I do know Changmin is a Buddhist…but I needed him to be a Catholic for the story. XP