Chapter 4: Leap Of Faith

--- Amber’s POV ---

Yes, you heard yourself right. She’s yours. She has always been yours. Yeah, he’s been with her longer than you have. But you’ll bet the love he has for her wouldn’t even amount to a fourth of how you love her. You were brave enough to let her go and let her be happy. Now you realize sometimes that letting go of the person you love isn’t always the right choice. You regret leaving her, but you realize that you went through all that emotional pain and longing for this moment. This moment that you redeem her for yourself. No shame in being selfish now. Fight for her.

“Oh really now?” Minho laughs sarcastically.

“Yeah, so why don’t you run along now.” You say, gritting your teeth. This guy is getting in your nerves.

“Hear this, you little sh-mfff!!” He’s cut off by Onew, putting his hand over Minho’s mouth.

You see some guys from the team arm lock him and drag him out of the balcony. You see him struggle as he’s being dragged away from you.

“Sorry, Ambro. He got drunk. Man, he drinks way more than we do. Is he really like that, Krystal?” Henry asks.

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen him like that. He’s always this… Gentleman.” Krystal speaks up behind you.

You look at her. What? Minho never showed that side of himself to Krystal? Then there’s more that you don’t know about him. The more you need to get Krystal away from him. At any moment he could snap. Anything could happen especially when they’re alone.

“Really? He never showed you that side of him?” You ask her.

“I don’t think so… But I remember this one time that we had an argument and he somehow screamed at me. He has this madman look in his eyes. It’s kind of scary now that I remember it.” She says.

You see her shudder.

Fate has brought you here for a purpose. You needed to protect her.

Taemin enters the balcony looking worried. He looks around and sees the broken glass.

“Are you guys okay?” He asks, pointing at the broken glass.

“We’re fine.” You reply, putting your arm around Krystal.

“No need to worry, Taemin. I did that. I accidentally dropped my drink when I saw Amber.” You hear her chuckle and hold your hand.

“Oh good. I was worried because I saw the guys dragging Minho out.” He says, rubbing his temple.

“But bro, I have never seen Minho act like that.” He adds.

“Yeah me too. Damn that scary look he has in his eyes.” Henry says.

“You two… Be careful, okay?” Taemin says, pulling Henry back into the party.

“Amber. Do it right this time, okay buddy?” Henry grins and gives you a thumbs-up before disappearing.

You smile because of how supportive your friends are. Henry knows how you feel towards Krystal since high school. He was the one you ran into the night you let her go.

-- Flashback --

You run. Run away from that place. You couldn’t bear seeing them together. It breaks you as a whole, not just your heart. How stupid you feel. You couldn’t do anything. Of course she’ll say yes. That’s Choi Minho we’re talking about. Smart, handsome, rich and a complete gentleman. He’s one of the most sought for guys in campus. And you know how Krystal is dreaming for someone who’s like a prince. Then there he is, confessing to her. You saw this coming. You really saw this coming but you decided to ignore it. Now look at you. Blindly running away with tears flowing down your face. You don’t care where you go as long as you get away from here. Then suddenly, without looking to where you’re going, you accidentally run into someone.

“Sorry…” You mumble, lowering your face so that person won’t see your tear stained face.

“Amber….?” The person says.

You look up and see your buddy, Henry. He’s the closest to you out of all the guys in the team. He sees your tears constantly flowing. His face turns into worry and holds your shoulders, steadying you.

“Hey, buddy. What happened?” He asks, concern flowing from his voice.

You don’t answer. You couldn’t bear even saying it. You lower your head, feebly trying to hide your crying face from him. This is the first time that he sees you like this. Defenseless and broken. He sighs and lets go of your shoulders.

“Let’s go somewhere.” He says softly, gently grabbing your wrist.

You let him walk ahead with you in tow. You don’t care where he would take you. You couldn’t care any less. You walk in silence for a while. You decide to look up and look where you’re going. You notice that you’re approaching the park near your school. This is the park where you would play basketball with Henry when Krystal can’t go home with you. You arrive in front of a bench where the both of you would always sit and rest after a game. He gently helps you sit down as you can’t feel anything right now and is a crying mess. He sits down beside you and pats your back.

“Amber. Come on. Talk to me. What happened? Why are you crying?” He says.

You look at him and remember her walking away. More tears fall from your eyes.

“Henry… She’s gone.” You manage to say, sobbing.

“Who’s gone? Did someone die?” He says, his eyes going wide.

“She’s taken away from me…” You say, covering your eyes and crying some more.

You feel him tense up. You know that he got what you said. He knows.

“Oh no… I’m sorry, buddy. I didn’t realize. Oh man…” He says, patting your back as you cry.

“I-I wasn’t able to say anything. I j-just let h-her go like t-that. I’m so stupid!” You cry some more.

“Don’t say that. You’re not stupid. You just love her too much.” He gently says.

You both remain silent for a while. He lets you cry your heart out. He puts his arm over you, trying to console in any way he can.

“You know… Krystal’s lucky to have you. You’re always there for her. Always putting her needs before yours. I know how you love her, bro. But you know… Sometimes it’s the best decision to let her be happy even if it’s not from you. I know it hurts. But that’s the last thing you could do before you hand her over. It’s okay to cry tonight, buddy. Let it all go. So that the next time you see her, you won’t let your tears fall. You’re strong, Amber.” He says, while you helplessly cry on his shoulders.

You pull away after a while. You look at his shirt now drenched with your tears.

“I’m sorry. Your shirt…” You say meekly.

“It’s alright.” He pats your head.

“I just… I’m sorry if I cry too much.” More tears coming out from you.

“It’s okay to cry, Amber. Especially if it’s for someone you truly love. In love… It’s okay to be vulnerable.” He says.

You let yourself be selfish just for tonight. You wish that when tomorrow comes she would come running back and say that she wants you. Only you. You ask questions why didn’t she just pick you instead and said no. Oh yeah. You said it was okay. Stupid you.

-- End of flashback --

After that night, he always has your back whenever you excuse yourself when Krystal and Minho are together. He skipped class with you because you were too upset to even listen to the lesson. He is the only one who knows how devastated you really felt. He knows how much you love her.

You smile. Even after all these years, he’s still on your side. You look over at Krystal who’s now looking out the river.

“Hey, you feeling okay?”You ask.

“Yeah. It’s just. I never imagined he’d snap like that. He was even going to say a curse word if Onew didn’t cover his mouth. I’ve never seen him act like that. It makes me feel that I’ve been with a walking time bomb all these years.” She presses her hands together.

You sigh and put your arm around her. You thought of what you just said about her being yours. Now that you think about it… Oh no. You technically just confessed your feelings to her. Now you’re blushing like crazy. Uhh…

“So, Amber… About what you said earlier.” She looks at you.

You feel your heart beat ten times faster.

 “Hey, hyung! Have y- oh! Sorry… I uh- yeah I interrupted something didn’t I?” You suddenly hear a booming voice.

You see Sulli looking awkward by the door with a sheepish grin plastered unto her face.

“Sulli! I think you owe me an explanation. Come with me.” Krystal says, glaring at her.

Oh man. Sulli’s gonna have it. Krystal looks at you and smiles, blushing furiously. She then goes to Sulli and drag her out.

You feel like you’ve been slapped. She was obviously asking about what you said earlier about her being yours. What are you going to say now? There’s no chickening out this time. Henry will surely smack you in the head if you screw up this time.

“Gaaaah!” You scream, ruffling your hair.

You’re still blushing furiously. You need to be ready when she comes back. Knowing her, she won’t drop the matter until you spill it out. But why did she leave you here all of a sudden? And if your eyes aren’t playing tricks, you think you saw her blushing after she left. What’s this?

You grab your drink and take a sip. You’re in for a whole new ride, Amber Liu.

--- Krystal’s POV---

“So, Krystal. What’s up with you two acting all lovey dovey with her arm around you out there eh?” Sulli says, nudging me as we stand outside for a talk.

“I don’t remember having to explain myself.” I glare at her.

“Hey. That’s scary. Okay! I’m sorry I didn’t contact you that Amber’s here. I wanted it to be a surprise.” She defends herself, waving her hands in front of her.

“It worked though. I was so surprised that I dropped my glass.” I chuckle.

“Amber looks dashing now right? LA taught her how to look good.” Sulli laughs.

She’s right. You indeed look dashing. I don’t know if it’s just me or hat… But in my eyes you were glowing. But I couldn’t get my mind off what you said earlier.

“I’m sorry, Minho…. But she’s mine. She has always been mine”

“Oh yeah. I saw the guys dragging out Minho earlier. Is everything okay?” Sulli asks, brows furrowing.

“I guess so… He had some… Issues with Amber.” You reply.

“What?! Minho? Having issues with someone? That’s news. So… Did they fight over you?” She says, grinning.

I look at her with a confused face.

“Of course no. Minho got drunk and somehow got carried away when Amber told him that she can’t let me go home yet.” I reply.

“So they did fight over you. You and your charm, Krystal Jung!” Sulli says, laughing.

“They did not.” You justify.

“Whatever you say, miss popular.” She says before sneaking away into the crowd.

Are they really fighting because of me? About what you said earlier about me being yours. Did you really mean that, Amber? Or was it just something you said out of the spur of the moment? Am I yours as your what? Best friend? What am I being stupid about? Alright. I could just ask you right? I’ve been gone a while and I’m nervous that you’re not at the balcony anymore. That everything happened was just an illusion. Stupid, Krystal. Of course not. I know you’re there. I know that you would always be there waiting for me.

And that’s where I come out as the bad one.

I’m always so assured that you would be there. That you would never leave me. I’m so confident that I was the only one you looked after like this. I have become so selfish, blinded by my own belief that you only have me that I forget that you have a life too. I forget that at any moment you could be snatched up away from me and disappear forever. I realize just now how cruel I must have been to you. Clinging on and monopolizing you.

--Flashback--

So it’s valentines already huh?

“Hey, princess!” I hear you call out behind me.

I look back and see you maneuvering yourself towards me, expertly avoiding hitting anyone in the process. You arrive in front of me with a grin on your face.

“Good morning!” You greet.

“Good morning to you too, dork.” I reply.

You chuckle and proceed on to walk with me up the stairs to the school. We arrive at our shoe lockers. As we're opening our lockers, I notice something blue fall down from your locker. Isn’t that…?

“Huh? What’s this?” You say, picking up the blue note.

I take a peek inside your locker and notice that there are a fair amount of notes and chocolates in it. So the game has already begun.

“Whoa! Look at all these letters! Krys! Come look!” You say, nudging me.

“Yeah, that’s great.” I say without even looking.

Stupid. Don’t act all happy.

“I’m going ahead.” I say, walking away. Ignoring all those notes, chocolates and flowers that I have in my own locker.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Why am I feeling irritated? Ugh. Stupid, Amber.

I arrive at our classroom. I see Sulli bounding up to me.

“Krystal! Happy valentines! So! How many chocolates did you get this year?” She says, sitting on the desk beside me.

I grunt in response.

“Whoa there. Woke up on the bad side today? Did something happen?” She asks.

“I don’t know why I’m feeling irritated at Amber.” I reply, rubbing my temple.

“You’re always irritated at Amber.” She states as a matter of fact.

“No, I mean I’m irritated at her without any reason.” I say.

“Eh?” She sounds confused.

“I saw a blue note flutter down from her shoe locker this morning. Then I took a peek at her locker and I saw a bunch of notes, chocolates and even flowers in it. I mean. I’ve seen her get those in the past. I’m just irritated at the fact that why am I irritated now? You get me?” I say, burying my face into my bag, feeling frustrated.

“Yeah I get you. Oh my sweet little baby Jung. You have stepped your first step in a world full of wonder.” She says, chuckling.

“Huh?” I say, looking up at her.

Then as if on cue, you enter the room. You put your bag on your desk and proceed to me.

“Hey. Are you okay? Did I do something wrong again?” You ask.

I give you a glare in response and just bury my head into my bag again. I hear you chuckle and pat my head. I feel you go away. I take a peek at you now laughing with some of our classmates. What’s this I’m feeling all of a sudden?

The day passed by and it’s finally after school. The whole day I got confessions which I expertly refused. I’m still feeling irritated. I didn’t go with you that much today. At some point I feel irritated when I see your dorky face. Wherever we go, you always get pulled away for a confession or something. What is this? Is this the only day you people could confess to the one you like? Like the polite little llama you are, you accept their chocolates. Did you know that that’s exactly like accepting their feelings? Amber, you are such a pimp. You’re too innocent for your own good. So to avoid myself getting irritated any further, I decide to not go with you for today.

I walk to the garden where we usually hang out so that I could clear my mind. But instead of having my mind cleared, I find myself getting a headache. I see you with a girl not far from our garden. It seems that you’re getting a confession. I hide behind the nearby wall. I take a peek. She looks flustered. I’ve seen her before. She’s a freshman. I see her give you something. It’s a llama stuffed toy. The same llama stuffed toy we saw at the town fair a week ago. The one you said you wanted but you were too broke to even get one. I grit my teeth.

I turn and walk away.

“I’m sorry.” I suddenly hear your voice.

I stop.

“I appreciate your effort but… I can’t accept your feelings. I’m sorry.” I hear your gentle voice.

“But… Why? Am I not good enough for you?” I hear the girl say.

 “That’s not it. I already reserved someone a place in my heart. I’m just waiting for their feelings to come through, you see. I hope you understand.” I hear you say. I could imagine you giving her an apologetic smile.

Someone? Who…? Amber, you never mentioned anything about this.

“Krystal?” I hear your voice beside me.

I take step back. I notice that you have a huge duffel bag with you. I guess that’s from one of your admirers.

“Oh hey.” I say, looking at you.

“What are you doing here?” She asks.

“I was just taking a walk before going home.” I look away.

“Riiiiight. You were looking for me, weren't you? Heh.” You say, grinning.

“No! Idiot. You just happened to be here.” I say.

“Whatever you say, princess. Come on. Let’s go home.” You put your arm over me.

We start walking home. Under the valentine sunset. Wait…. Not once did you greet me a happy valentines day today. It’s impossible that you’d forget. You just got a ton of confessions today.

I notice that this isn’t the usual path we walk going home.

“Where are we going, Amber?” I ask you.

“Huh? I thought you knew we’re going somewhere. I thought you noticed that we turned at the first stop light. Are you okay?” You ask, sounding worried.

“I’m fine. Let’s go. Just lead the way.” I say.

You shrug and continue walking. After a while, I saw that we’re already at the beach. The stars are taking over the sky and the wind’s getting cold.

“What are we doing here, Amber?” I ask, looking at you.

I notice you take out a blanket at put it on the ground. You sit down and look at me with a grinning face.

“Celebrating valentines of course! You thought I forgot didn’t you?” You say, gesturing me to sit beside you.

I sit beside you. What are you planning, Amber?

“I know why you’re irritated all day. I kind of ignored you and focused on all those confessions and attention I got. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me, princess.” You say with puppy dog eyes.

Stupid. How could I say no to that?

“Fine.” I say, smiling.

“Yay!” You cheer.

You then put the huge duffle bag you have in front of me.

“Happy valentines day, princess!” You beam.

I sit dumbfounded. This is for me?

“Come on open it.” You say eagerly.

I open the bag and a huge Toothless the dragon stuffed toy greets me. With a blue rose and a box of my favorite mango tarts holding between its fluffy paws. This is the stuffed toy we saw at the town fair last week. I didn’t think she would notice that I was staring at it. I guess you returned to buy it when I wasn’t around. I can feel my tears coming up. So that’s why you’re broke.

Stupid.

Now I know why I was irritated at you.

--End of flashback—

I arrive at the balcony and to my relief… There you are, still waiting for me. You’re just having a drink while looking out the night light illuminated by the river.

“Amber…” I call out.

You turn around and give me a bright smile.

“Yes, princess?” You respond.

I stretch out my hand to you.

“Let’s get out of here.” I smile.

You smile and put down your drink. You take my hand and lead me away. I don’t care where Minho is right now. After what happened, I don’t think I would want to see him today. Just let me be with you, Amber.

We find ourselves outside and on a walk. Since the convention center is on the same route we used to walk from school, this all feel nostalgic. The night sky blanketed with stars. The evening wind turning warm as summer comes. The season where I met you. The season you love most.

“Krystal… About what I said earlier…” You suddenly say.

I look at you.

Did you mean it?

“Did you mean it?” Voicing out my thoughts.

“Yes.” You say, looking at me. Obvious blush lingering unto your cheeks.

I stop. I look at you. The view of the sea behind you. It turns out that we absentmindedly walked towards our old school. I guess old habits are hard to change.

“Yes. I do mean it. Every bit of it.” You repeat yourself. Now turning red.

I can’t take it anymore. I love you.

I hug you right there. I love you. I love you. I love you. Please be mine.

“Hey, princess. Do you really get what I just said? You didn’t misunderstand did you?” You ask, hugging me back.

I pull away.

“Of course I did! You did mean that you love me… More than just your best friend…” I say.

“…Right?”I add, looking at your beautiful face.

“What?” You suddenly say.

I feel my world shatter. What? You didn’t mean…?

“Just joking, princess. Of course. I love you more than that. Oh my goodness if you just saw your reaction. Priceless!” You laugh.

My devastated eyes turns into a glare.

“You. Idiot. How. Could. You. Do. That!” I say, hitting you per word.

“Hahahaha! I’m sorry! I couldn’t help it!” You say, laughing while shielding yourself from my attacks.

I keep on hitting you. Stupid, Amber!

You put your arms around me, locking me in a sudden embrace.

--- Amber’s POV---

It’s now or never, Amber Liu.

“I’m sorry. I know. I’m practically confessing my feelings to you right now. My face looks weird right now so don’t look at me. You’ll laugh. That’s why I’m telling this while hugging you. So that I won’t have to face you but I know that you’re with me.” You say, hugging her tight.

You decide to pour everything you have in this moment

“Krystal Jung. You don’t know how much I have loved you all these years. I have loved you for the longest time. From that fateful summer day at the start of freshman year. You captivated me. I didn’t know that it was love at first sight back then. But I knew that I had to get closer to you. So then fate started turning my way when we were both working at the library as punishment. You don’t know how happy I was when became friends. You made me the happiest person alive when you come to me during breaks, demanding for my time. I didn’t mind any of it. Heck. I wanted to be with you. Always with you.”

Go on…

“Even if you were always irritated at me, I didn’t mind any of that. I love you just the ice princess you are. I would do anything just to make you happy. I hope you felt how I cared about you. Trust me when I say that days with you are the best. You make my day the brightest. You gave this llama something to care about. You’re the only one in this llama heart of mine.”

You feel your jacket get wet but you keep on going.

“That night… When Minho confessed to you… Did I give you the wrong answer? It’s been bugging me why you looked sad for a second. I’m sorry. Didn’t you want that? Or was I wrong? I’m sorry. Did I give you away without meaning to? I’m sorry. I’m sorry… But please let me be selfish now. I can’t let you go. Not again. I’ve been an idiot for so many years. I’m sorry if I left. I should’ve taken the chance and stayed with you. I’m sorry I left you alone. So please… Krystal Jung… Please accept my feelings. Please let me make up for everything. I love you so much.” You finally say.

You hug her tight. Inhaling her strawberry scent that has always enticed you. You don’t care what happens now. You don’t mind the risk. You would take anything for her. You would do anything just to protect her and make her happy. You just told your best friend, the love of your life how you really felt about her. And… It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off your chest. You feel lighter somehow. You then notice your shirt is now wet. Wait… Is she crying? You pull away and look at her. She is indeed crying.

“Hey… Oh no… I’m sorry. I made you cry.” You started to panic.

Then you suddenly hear her laugh. You look at her face. Still beautiful despite the tears. You see her laughing. She opens her eyes and looks at you. Those beautiful eyes that you love so much. Beautiful yet dangerous. She wipes away her tears, still smiling.

“What took you so long to realize that?” She says, smiling oh so lovingly towards you.

“Wait… You mean…?” Your eyes go wide as saucers.

“I love you too, llama face!” She says, putting her hand over your cheek.

You feel your world stop. She loves you back. Your feelings finally reaches her. The love you have, cherished through the years… Accepted.

“Hey… I’m sorry if I was too scared to say anything. I just assumed that you had someone else in mind.” She says, still caressing your face.

You put your arm around her waist.

“It has always been you, princess. Don’t be sorry.” You say.

“I mean you always looked happy whenever your phone lights up…” She says.

“Oh you mean this?” You say, taking out your phone.

You open it and show her your wallpaper.

It’s a picture of the both of you smiling while eating ice cream.

Her eyes soften upon seeing the picture. It sure brings back memories.

“Satisfied?” You ask.

“Yes. ” She says, smiling.

“And I don’t mind taking a risk if it’s you, Amber.” She says, leaning in.

Who cares about what’s going to happen in the future. You’re in this together. Like you always did. You are with the one you love. You just have to worry about Minho some other day. Right now… She’s with you. The one you love. The one you reserved a place in your heart. The one whose feelings finally fill the gap.  She finally looks your way and you don’t plan on letting her go anymore.

Under the stars, enveloped in each other’s embrace with her scent filling your senses…

Summer just came early this year.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Somewhere not far… A shadow of a man looks over. He grits his teeth in despise and walks away into the night.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello! Deniselionheart here! And after months of having a writer's block... Here's chapter 4! Yay! I would like to thank Amber's beautiful album...

I MEAN OHMYGAD THE SONGS ARE SO PERFECT. My prayers have been finally answered. She released the english version of Goodbye Summer! I'm sorry I fangirled here... IT'S JUST I CAN'T EVEN. I wrote this chapter while I Just Wanna is on loop. XD

Anyways going back to the story... I hope you guys like the latest chapter.  It's longer than what I had in mind. I'm sorry if the flashbacks are long. (I think I put some Henber here lol.) Please tell me if you guys don't like the flashbacks. I'll remove them in the upcoming chapters. It's what everybody's been waitig for... Now that the two idiots finally realize their love for each other... What now? Welp... Hahaha!

Thank you, dear readers for supporting this story. It means a lot to me. Thank you so much! *bows*
As always... Comments, suggestions, violent reactions and pitchforks are very much welcome. Thank you and see you on the next chapter! :D

(So no I have to worry what I'm gonna do about "A Thousand Years". Thinking cap on! XD)