Falling #4

March 6, 2011

Of course I forgave him. People make mistakes, and it’s not his obligation to take me to some father-daughter dance. He would of just been doing me a favor. I don’t blame him for letting something that boring slip his mind. I really don’t. I should have reminded him. Plus he apologized, so that’s all that mattered.

Atleast thats what I keep telling myself.

I don’t need to see him everyday, I can’t keep relying on him. He has a life, which doesn’t revolve around me. The past months he spent with me, I could never repay him back. He walked me home everyday, made sure I ate my meals, and texted me good morning and goodnight.

We were sophomores in high school now, sixteen years old. Not much has changed. The boys (especially Kai) have gotten taller and more handsome. The amounts of confessions they received tripled, and so did the amount of dates they went on.

“Another date?” I crossed my arms as I watched Kai button up his new denim shirt. I had bought it for him last week.

He shot me a cheeky smile, “Don’t be jealous sweetheart. It’s just one date. I’ll drop by your house with dessert later, okay?” I rolled my eyes.

“I’m not jealous!”

He kissed my cheek, “You’ll always be my number one!” He winked at me and left. I shook my head, hoping to shake off the feeling of discomfort. The one that always seemed to show up every time Kai had a new date.

“I don’t know why you don’t go on dates.” Suho was leaning on the doorframe looking me over, “You’ve grown up to be a very pretty girl. I would ask you out if I didn’t think of you as a sister.”

“You’re such a flirt, Joonmyun.” He just shrugged and smiled. I waved him off with a flick of my wrist.

I did receive a fair amount of confessions. But I rejected every one. They didn’t know me, they didn’t like me. They liked the idea of being with an innocent girl. To be her first. They also liked the way I looked. I wouldn’t call myself stunning, but I wasn’t that hard on the eyes either.

There was one guy in particular, Lee Byunghyun, or Ljoe. He was incredibly infatuated with me. I wouldn’t mind so much if he was nice about it. No, he was very crude. I felt like shriveling up into a prune every time I saw his beety eyes scan my body up and down, as if he was trying to undress me with his eyes. I hate the way he would his lips and smirk at me. I hated how he always stood a little too close for comfort and make strange comments. He looked at me like I was a piece of meat and he was a starving predator.

I was fifteen when I first met him, we were assigned lab partners for chemistry. He gave me a charming eye smile as he introduced himself. I nodded and told him my name. He repeated my name, letting it roll off his tongue. In that moment I hated my name, I hated how he could say it in such a disgusting way.

That semester I made an extra effort to wear a large labcoat and cover myself with it. But that didn’t stop him. Once he had even spilled something on my coat purposely so I would have to change.

He had never acted strange around me when I was around my friends, he wasn’t stupid. He acted like he didn’t know me at all. And I didn’t tell my friends about him either, Ljoe wasn’t worth their time.

After that semester I hadn’t had another class with him, much to my relief. I had almost forgotten about him, but everytime he was about to slip my mind I would spot him in the hallway, giving me that look. I would immediately dart my eyes away and run off.

This warm spring day I decided to wear a dress to