The Journey of Identity Crisis

So first of all, Identity Crisis is my first completed fan fiction that isn’t a one shot. This fan fiction was written purely out of the blue. For you guys, Identity Crisis started May 30^th, 2014. But this story has honestly come a long way. I was first inspired to write a Multiple Personality Disorder/Dissociative Identity Disorder story after watching ‘A Tale of Two Sisters’, a Korean horror movie with Lim Soo-Jung and Moon Geun-Young in it. The entire mental disorder fascinated me. A couple of weeks after watching that, I started to think of a fan fiction revolving around the disorder. It was in March that the idea for Identity Crisis formed. Mostly the story line was inspired by VIXX’s ‘Hyde’ which is completely based on the disorder in a romantic kind of way. I only knew the background story for Identity Crisis and the ending at first. Just that Baekhyun had Chanyeol and Chanyeol had MPD/DID.

Starting off with the character backgrounds.

Bang Yongguk came into the story after that. Don’t take it that I dislike Bang Yongguk. I love him! He has an amazing deep voice…not to forget that body build…**author-nim hides**…But really, it’s so easy to pick up Bang Yongguk and make him an evil character, cause he’s got that face, you know? I would have made Kris the evil guy but he was playing good guy, so…yeah. Bang Yongguk it was. His character in the story was being Baekhyun’s Biology Professor and also his stalker. Yongguk got obsessed with Baekhyun, because if we look at this honestly, Baekhyun is very attractive. The only problem Yongguk had was that he was Baekhyun’s teacher and he could tell Baekhyun and Chanyeol were in love with each other and were completely oblivious to it. So he resorted to the dark side.

Oh Sehun was a last minute addition to the story. He just kind of was vomited onto the page when he entered the story in the noraebang. Until the very moment where he walks in with more drinks and food, he wasn’t supposed to exist in the story. Once he did enter the story I sat there and stared wondering what on earth I had just done because I really needed to write a whole lot of things and I can’t handle another couple because I get distracted by new couples, a lot. They sit there and wave at me till I gush at them and then I accidentally give them a whole chapter to themselves. It took me so much effort to keep the Hunhan on a low and just focus on the Baekyeol. But when Sehun randomly became a Psychology Major in the story I was like: “Hey, no , this kid actually just found himself an important role in the story!”

Huang Zitao. Because who can resist him? I mean, I sit there and gawk at him shamelessly half the time even though my biases are over there screaming their heads off at me. Taoris, irresistible and friggin amazing! I also felt like writing Taoris because Kris left and I wanted to give myself a boost on the lacking Taoris. Those Taohun shippers out there are probably so happy right now, aren’t they? Urgh. I don’t like Taohun you guys! Sure they’re cute as the maknae line, but romance? No…OK, I admit to having read a couple of Taohun fan fics but that was because Baekyeol was the main ship. Don’t ask me why I made Tao a police officer, and as Baekhyun said, Tao can’t even hold a gun. I didn’t give you guys enough Taoris and what I did give you was kind of y and depressing. But, hey, I was trying to focus on Baekyeol and not go galloping after some other couple.

Lay and Xiumin were once again, last minute decisions and they played important roles in their own ways. Hurray!

And BAM! Chenho exploded in your face and you go, “Author-nim, did you just give us a load of random Chenho fluff in the middle of a mall, in the middle of the depressing first chapter?”. Yes I did. Let’s get this issue straight. They randomly floated in, OK? Randomly. Chen is my EXO-M bias and his voice is like heaven and he’s so adorable and his obsession with doing things with his lips and tongue is not healthy for my poor heart. I have recently started obsessing over Chenho, like a lot. I started to really like them thanks to ‘Into Your World’ a Baekyeol fanfic and ‘Revolution’ a Hunhan fanfic.

Kaisoo, they were a last minute addition as well. Somewhere in the middle I decided that I needed them. Ever heard the saying, ‘Without Baekyeol, there is no Kaisoo and without Kaisoo there is no Baekyeol’? Well, I am one of the people that supports the saying. Of course I can write a Kaisoo fic without Baekyeol and I can write a Baekyeol fic without Kaisoo, but then I have to keep all the other EXO members out of the story as well. I can’t survive without the two of them if other EXO members are in the story.

Xi Luhan was one of the most important characters and one of the toughest characters to keep up with. I desperately needed someone insanely good looking with a lot sass. The first person that popped into my mind was Luhan. But why Luhan? Especially when a lot of people make him extremely innocent in their fanfics. I’m starting to have a thing for innocent looking but sassy characters. I love them. But believe me when I say it is really difficult to write fanfics with characters like that. You have to continuously watch what you’re writing when it comes to them. He was by far my favorite character. I think I did the best with his character and I absolutely loved working on him and developing his character.

Wu Kris was let’s say, an easy character to create, but an important and priceless character all the same. Most of the times Kris has a strong and manly image. I gave him all that jazz in this story, but let’s just say I took away its charm with the help of the sass queens, Luhan and Baekhyun. I know Kris isn’t actually Baekhyun’s best friend in real life, in fact, he’s nowhere close, but I needed Baekhyun’s friend to be a police officer. I wanted someone like Kris, I was especially attracted to the idea of Kris becoming a police officer after reading a Krischen fan fic where Kris was a detective and Chen was…well…more or less a criminal.

I don’t think I need explanations for Baekyeol! Teehee!

Complete Storyline

Now, recently I have become obsessed with psychological thrillers, but then a lot of the times, with the way I write my stuff, I tend to confuse people sometimes because I expect people to naturally follow up. So I’ll tell you the story in plain words right here for those who had a little trouble in understanding things.

Three years ago from the present time of the story, Baekhyun and Chanyeol were in college together. Baekhyun had just recently moved from Bucheon to Seoul with his parents and Kris and he really couldn’t find friends. Chanyeol was the only one there for him. Soon enough, love began to form between both Baekhyun and Chanyeol. It was then Baekhyun started getting stalked by Bang Yongguk. Baekhyun’s father’s health deteriorated and his parents had to move back to Bucheon. Kris started noticing Baekhyun acting weird and then tried to find out, but Baekhyun wouldn’t tell him. Then Yongguk fooled Baekhyun out of his house. He caught Baekhyun and him. He had all intentions of killing Baekhyun when Kai came along. Kai delayed the murder and then when he left Chanyeol showed up. Thrown into panic, Chanyeol accidentally killed Yongguk. He searched for help and that’s when they knocked into Kris.

Due to severe trauma Chanyeol forgot the incident and developed the mental disorder MPD/DID. Chanyeol was the mean man Baekhyun had a physical relationship with and he was also Baekhyun’s sweet, adorable and loving boyfriend, Park Chanyeol. Kris starts closing in on Baekhyun because of the nearing end of the statute of limitations. Baekhyun does everything to protect Chanyeol. Due to lack of proper medication, Chanyeol’s condition slowly starts to worsen till the point he’s physically abusing Baekhyun. Baekhyun can usually tell when there are switches in personality because the tone of Chanyeol’s voice changes. When Baekhyun gets kidnapped, Luhan and Kris are thrown into utter horror and they search desperately for Baekhyun. With the help of Sehun, a psychology major they find out the location of Baekhyun.

Kris storms in to see both Baekhyun and Chanyeol. He had been expecting it, but it really shocked him. In a desperate attempt to save Chanyeol, Baekhyun tries to plead with Kris. Chanyeol tries to reach for Baekhyun and Kris takes it as a sign that he’s going to hurt Baekhyun. He shoots without thinking.

Left in a world without Baekhyun’s life, his reason to live, a world without Chanyeol, Baekhyun commits suicide.

And that was the story my friends!

Fan Fiction Background

As you have read earlier, this fan fiction was inspired by ‘A Tale of Two Sisters’. I started the idea in March right after my finals. Around the end of April I had formed a firm idea of the storyline. I started asking around on what the name of it should be. I was stuck on the ideas ‘Two Faced’ and ‘Identity’. I went around asking people help for the title. My friends at school - Sagarika, Itishree, Dhairya, Tilak and Bala - helped me a lot too. I told them to choose between the two. Out of the blue, my brother went, “Why those titles, why not ‘Identity Crisis’? It gives everything a much more fancy and mysterious touch.” And I stared at him like he was a genius.

My dad pranced over half way through the first chapter and asked me what I was writing. Half panicking, I told him that I was writing a story. The worst part was when he asked if he could read it. Oh my gosh, the horror that came over me. I was forced to write a non-, minimum romance Onluna fan fiction called 'Two Faced' just for him to see it. You guys can see it too since it’s up on AFF but it really isn't that great cause it's cliched and kind of confusing.

I had troubles with writing when Kris filed his lawsuit against SM. Everything was an emotional roller coaster and I thought I was going to jump off my roof because I really wouldn’t be able to deal with Kris leaving. Soon enough, things calmed down. But as soon as they calmed down, Baekhyun and Taeyeon’s relationship was revealed. I didn’t know what I was going to do with my life. I was a Baekhyun biased fan girl who shipped Baekyeol to the ends of the earth. Those of you who have been around long enough probably saw my hiatus note. I wasn’t one of those kids that hated on Taeyeon, instead I sat there and just cried because I had to. After calming down and pushing their relationship I started working on Identity Crisis again. I ended up switching biases to Chanyeol and Chen and I still really love Baekhyun, but the Happy Virus and Camel refuse to let me go!

This story wrote itself. As mentioned in the beginning I really didn’t have much of an idea on what I was doing. I put my hands on the key board and the story came pouring out, literally writing itself, which I guessed you guys must have noticed from all the last minute additions of characters to the story.

Identity Crisis has been through a lot of bumps on the road, but despite that, I am proud to say that it is one of my most favourite fan fictions I have ever written. Oh and to those of you who saw the continuous gifs of Chen know that I am Chen Obsessed. I am attracted to vocals you know, that’s why I like Baekhyun!

Baekyeol fighting!

Kaeppsong people~