so i have requested for a review from this trusted page (refer to foreword to see their shop banner!) and before you guys would click to the chapters i would like to present the review..

Review of: Lovesickness

Title

When I first looked at the title it makes me think that it is going to be sad. I think that your title described it all. Yes- Luhan is sick of love and doesn’t feel like he will love anyone again. I think that it fits perfectly but it’s not creative. It would catch my interest if it was something that rarely anyone has a title- even if it is long. When you see a new title that you haven’t seen it just makes you more interested in the story and in the author who thought of it. I just think that it could be more creative but it’s fine if you leave it like that !

Poster/Trailer

I can’t see your poster. You might want to change it. Besides that the trailer was very well made. I thought that it was truly beautiful. The soft colors and background really fit in. I think that the person that made it did a good job. Regarding of what it shows of the book I think that you should put more information of maybe why he is sick of love. You should get some mystery going on. That is the best way to get someone to read your book.

Forward

I think that the forward is okay. I just think that it could have more information. Like I said about why he might be love sick or something bad that happen that makes him feel like that. It all comes with a thing that would stay in their minds. I think that making him have a dark secret that no one knows will get you more subscribers ! I always think that there is supposed to be darkness in the story to be good- but that is only how I look at it. Also the part of where you put how Luhan and the Oc are talking makes it seem really romantic ! Good job on that ! I also think that how you put that your sister wanted a girl that looked less pretty so we can relate was an awesome idea ! I think if anyone see’s this they are going to be excited because you also thought about us !

Plot

I think that the plot is sweet and romantic but kinda sad too. I think that the reason that makes me think that it is going to be sad is because of the title. I am not sure if you are going for a sad/romantic story but that is what it makes me think that it is going to be about. I think that the plot is good but it isn’t original. I think that a lot of good things could come from this story because of the way you did the forward.

Flow of the story

I thought that it was great and made me happy and sad. I think that this is a really inspiring story and I wouldn’t change it after I read it ! I feel like crying because of how sad it is yet romantic. I think that the way that your sister settle things were beautiful. She is a serial writer and I would like to see more of her story’s.

Characters

The characters were well described but your sister really OC. I think that is fine but you should try to describe her more sense we already now Luhan.

Grammar

The was bad grammar- I’m not going to lie but seeing that your sister isn’t American or know’s how to write it fluently that’s fine. I think that overall you did a good job on it. Yes there was bad grammar because you put words in or took them out of a sentence. That was the only problem that I was. It wasn’t really nothing. There was also spelling mistakes but that could all get fixed if you get a beta reader. I think that that would help improve your story a lot and make it a big hit. I really think that this story can make it ! One example of a bad sentence is this: “Chun is ready to go to school when she saw someone waiting for her at the downstairs”. You should be using this instead: “Chun was ready to go to school when she saw someone waiting for her downstairs”. That would make it better. You just have to take some words out in the sentence but that is it.

Overall enjoyment

I really enjoyed it ! I would give it a 9 ! I think that the grammar was a little of a turn off but I don’t really mind. Like I said- it can get fixed easily if you request for a beta reader. I’ll keep supporting the story ! Good luck !

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p/s: Since me and my sister are not an english speaker so our grammar is bad..but i really hopes you guys could understand this story well :) thank u!!!