It had been 5 weeks. 5 weeks of forcefully smiling and acting like everything was ok. It was a novelty to her, this pretending but she found she was excelling at it. YG sajangnim pulled out all the stops for this solo. It had been a crazy few weeks of preparation and planning. A few days ago the song had finally come out and it had achieved a perfect all kill. Minzy was torn between resentment and elation. She was somewhat happy that the song was doing good and Chaerin unnie's first solo was a  success but she was also upset because she felt it should have been her getting that all kill, her getting all the raves. She had won after all. 

She tried desparately not to think about that, tried not to dwell on what she had come to see as a betrayal of everyone she had grown up having faith in. She had seen them as her family but they only viewed her as business. She tried not to blame Chaerin unnie but she couldnt seem to help herself. She distanced herself from everyone and had spent the most part of the last several days at home, with her real family, with people she could believe in and trust.

The song really was a great song and she'd found herself singing and dancing to it before she'd realised what she had been doing and put a stop to it. She hated the video. So much time and money had been spent on it. Time and money that should have been spent on her. But most especially she hated the video because it had all of Chaerin unnies oppas as she had come to view them. It had been fitting that they appeared in the video, she often thought snidely afterall, the song and the video wouldt have been released if it wasnt for them.

Today was Chaerin unnie's comeback stage. She refused to go for it, she knew Bom and Dara unnie were going to show surpport but she couldnt bring herself to do the same. She didnt think she was capable of hiding her true feelings should she go there. No one questioned her choice not to go. They all realised something was wrong but no one knew what it was and Minzy had never been one to bear her emotions for all to see. She knew that Chaerin unnie was slightly puzzled and a little hurt by her unsupportive attitude but she couldnt help herself, she couldnt keep up the pretenses for too long. 

She settled down in her room to watch Chaerin unnie's comeback stage on today's episode of inkigayo. Tears prickled at the back of her eyes as she watched the interview, Chaerin unnie looked so beautiful, so vibrant and happy. She was happy too, but she was also very sad. Her thoughts and emotions in a pendulum. Finally she watched her take the stage. Truly as always she was exceptional, bringing out the flavour of the song making it sound better live than the recorded version. 

Her breath hitched and she choked out a sob as she watched Dara unnie appear with the flag of Chaerin unnie's emblems, her petite body struggling under the weight, nonetheless waving it enthusiastically in support. She knew Bom unnie was backstage and it broke her heart just a little that she wasnt there. She buried her face in dougie's fur and he wimpered and turned to her tears as if telling her it was ok and she should stop crying. She couldnt stop, she was so heartbroken. She couldnt have gone there, she knew deep down in her heart that she would have done or said something that would have been unpleasant and she didnt want to ruin it for Chaerin unnie. Today was her day, even though she had not won the competition, she had worked hard for this solo, ruining it on her big day would have been unfair.

She shutdown the mackbook and hastily wiped her tears as she heard a knock on her door. Quickly checking a mirror to see how she looked, she took a deep breath and called for whoever it was to enter. Minyoung unnie walked into the room and made her way to her bed and sat on the edge of it. She didnt say anything at first just looked intently at Minzy.