It was one of these days that Luhan was especially affectionate, one of these days where he showed the world how much he loved his boyfriend. Yixing hates days like these. They were especially painful and Luhan wouldn't even notice. Minseok's whole appearance was on a level Yixing never could achieve. Small, cute, you just had to love him. Therefore Yixing was exactly the opposite, if you looked at him he was a bit weird and he wasn't really what you consider small so he couldn't play the aegyo card. So Yixing wasn't really surprised on the day Luhan came to him and told him he developed a crush on the little baozi, but it still was painful. But as a good friend he encouraged Luhan to confess and well now they are in a relationship for almost two months. Two months that Yixing found extremely hard to endure. He was happy when they had full schedules, because Luhan couldn't be as affectionate as off-camera, but still Yixing noticed the little smiles and touches and he felt his heart shattering. 

When they got off their van, Yixing was the first one to run into the bathroom, knowing that Yifan would be angry, but he just couldn't hold his tears anymore. He took a long shower, everyone knew he loved showers and would take one 2-3 times a day, but they didn't know the real reason why. He would wash away his tears and had a reason to escape Luhan and Minseok. When he thought about it he really was stupid, Luhan was his best friend and just because he couldn't control his stupid emotions he endangers their precious friendship. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, before he looked into the mirror once again. At days like these he wondered if anyone could ever find him attractive, he knew he had a lot of fans as for that matter. But that..just..doesn't  count. He only wants to know if Luhan could ever find him attractive. But he shrugs it off, don't be selfish Yixing.

He walks out of the room, where a furious Yifan is already waiting for him. 

''Yixing you know there is a whole bunch of other people waiting to shower'', Yifan nags but Yixing can't focus. The only thing he sees are Luhan and Minseok who are sharing an intimidate kiss and Luhan pulling Minseok into their shared room. 

''Yixing are you even listening to me?'', Yifan asks annoyed and Yixing bows before he puts on one of the smiles he learned for the camera. 

''I'm sorry Yifan. I'll make sure, I'll ask next time'', Yixing bows and Yifan keeps on blabbering about how unthoughtful Yixing is, but the pictures of Luhan smiling into the kiss make their way into his brain.

''I really hope you will ask next time. Now go and get Jongdae. He should wash up before the love birds have their turn'', he laughs and Yixing swears he could hear his heart crack a little. These little remarks really did their job, but he couldn't blame Yifan they really are a cute couple. He smiles and nods, before Yifan ruffles his hair and walks towards the living room. Yifan was indeed a good leader, he was funny and nice, but he also knew when he had to be serious. Yixing really liked Yifan and if he had to be the leader he probably would have messed up a long time ago. He maybe even would have fallen for Yifan, if his crush on Zitao wouldn't be that freaking obvious. But Yixing finds it kinda cute, how flustered the giant always gets around the panda boy. 

Yixing knocks on Jongdae's door before he enters and looks at a sleeping sushi-roll. He almost feels bad waking up the younger boy, but he knows Yifan would hit him if Jongdae wouldn't shower now. 

''Jongdae you have to wake up'', he says before slightly shaking the body hidden under the huge blanket. Suddenly Jongdae sits upright and his eyes are half open, before he asks: ''Yixing? Is that you? Do we have to go to another schedule?''

Yixing almost chuckles at the cute picture Jongdae provides. Saliva drops from the corner of his mouth and he barely can keep his eyes open. 

''Yes it's me. Come on' you have to wash up'', Yixing smiles while dragging Jongdae carefully out of his bed. The other quietly complains but doesn't say anything as he gets pressed into the bathroom. ''Enjoy your shower'', Yixing smiles and walks into his room to finally put on some clothes. Before he wouldn't just walk around with a towel, but after Luhan and Minseok got together everyone got a bit more open minded. It didn't only happen once or twice that someone walked into a make-out session from the two oldest boys.

''Urrgh guys please~'', was the reaction from the other guys, while Yixing didn't say anything but quietly went into his room to cry.

He could hear Minseok's laughter from the other room and his heart almost stopped beating. He dresses himself in a t-shirt and sweat pants before he throws his exhausted body on the bed. 

''Stop it Luhan'' Minseok squeaks. Really Luhan stop it. ''Only if you kiss me'', he could hear his hyung's voice and he could only imagine Luhan making weird pouting faces at Minseok.

He really hated days like these. Luhan didn't even consider that Yixing might like him. How could someone like him even love Luhan? These thoughts made him angry. It wasn't Luhan's fault that he had fallen for him. It was his own freaking fault. Loving someone who doesn't love you back is painful, loving your best friend is painful. Loving someone in a relationship is painful, but the most painful thing is to never have the chance to tell that special person that you love them. Luhan is happy and Yixing would never put that at risk for his selfish intentions, that wouldn't change any feelings that Luhan has, it mostly would bring pity that Yixing doesn't need. Sometimes he wonders, if he would have told Luhan earlier that he liked him, if things would be different, but he quickly puts thoughts like this into the darkest corner of his brain. Nothing will change Luhan's feelings. Nothing, not even Yixing. 

These thoughts plus the giggles from the other room are something that Yixing has to deal with on a daily basis and sometimes he just can't control his emotions anymore and the tears just pop out of his eyes. He doesn't like to cry, he should be happy for Luhan but instead he's sitting in his room crying over things that never will happen. He takes the end of his sleeve to wipe away the needless tears, but he can't wipe away the pain. Unnecessary to say that no one knows about his crush on Luhan, they all would either pity him or scold him and both ways didn't sound really arousing to Yixing. 

He hears another chuckle from Minseok and tears streaming over his cheeks, but before he can wipe away his broken pieces Jongdae walks into the room. As he looks up into Jongdae's eyes, the latter looks at him in shock. They stare at each other for barely three seconds, but for Yixing it feels like an eternity. Jongdae closes the door before he walks near the bed Yixing is laying in. 

''Hyung, are you crying?'', he asks his voice concerned. 

''Why didn't you knock?'', Yixing asks and wipes away the rest of his tears. 

''Why are you crying?'', Jongdae asks obviously ignoring the question his hyung just asked. 

''Nothing..Really'', Yixing says before he inhales and smiles. 

''That doesn't look like nothing, hyung'', Jongdae answers and tries to take a glimpse of Yixing's puffed eyes. 

Yixing sighs and stands up. Jongdae shouldn't care, he loves his dongsaeng, but it's really nothing he should worry about. At exactly that time Luhan decides to laugh full heartily making Yixing stiff. Needless to say Jongdae notices the odd behavior of his hyung. 

''Hyung, don't tell me it's something related to Luhan? You know he really likes you'', Jongdae says and exactly with these words he breaks Yixing. 

Yixing's tears start to fall without mercy as if there was nothing he could do expect crying. He doesn't like me, Yixing wants to scream. 

''Hyung, what's wrong? Oh my god, I will get Luhan, okay?'', Jongdae asks totally lost. 

Yixing swears he never shaked his head more in protest than in this very moment, but the tears still didn't stop to come out. 

''Then tell me why you won't stop crying and I can try to help you'', Jongdae demands and pushes Yixing to sit on the bed.

''I...just....I..can't..tell'' Yixing stutters and tries to find an explanation that might be realistic. 

''Is it because you love him?'', Jongdae asks carefully and in right that moment Yixing only could hear his heart beating in a fast pace and maybe the laugh from the other room. 

''I..how..I..don't'', Yixing stutters still overwhelmed by Jongdae's knowledge. 

''I thought it was only a phase, I thought you might give up after Luhan and Minseok got together, but it seems different, hmm?'', Jongdae taps his chin thinking. 

Yixing stares right into his eyes even though Jongdae's eyes look into another direction. He always thought no one noticed or no one would care. Jongdae was the last one he would have thought of. Yixing wipes his tears away and stands up, surprising Jongdae a little. 

''I don't know how you come to that conclusion, but that's not true. I don't lov-'', Yixing starts but gets immediately interrupted by Jongdae:

''And how do you explain the longing looks or the sadness that forms on your face when Luhan merely touches Minseok? You may think no one noticed, but I did. Even though I may have been to blind to see how serious it was, you clearly can't fool me now, Yixing''

''Okay..Maybe I am in love with him a little, but please Jongdae please don't tell him. I beg you'', Yixing finally gives in.

''I would never. That's a thing you have to clear with yourself. But I can tell you something: I won't watch you smiling and act as everything is perfect, while on the other hand you cry everyday in your room alone'', Jongdae explains.

''But what do you want to do? It's not like Luhan would magically fall in love with me'', even though these words hurt Yixing to say, it's the painful reality.

''I'll be a good friend, who makes you forget about him, that's what I'm going to do'', Jongdae smiles and pulls Yixing in his embrace. 

''Guys do you want to watch a movie with us?'', Luhan asks while storming into the room. 

''I think they don't want to be disturbed'', Minseok giggles and Luhan looks in shock at the view of his best friend being hugged so tightly by Jongdae who normally doesn't show affection really well. Before Yixing can react (he's normally a really slow reactor) Minseok drags his boyfriend out of the room and Yixing can't believe what just happened. 

''Let's grab some food, alright?'', Jongdae asks grabbing Yixing's hand affectionatly before pulling him into the kitchen. 

Yixing knew this wasn't going to end so easily.

Author's note: 

So I somehow fell in love with ChenLay/Xingdae over the weekend (because omg they are so touchy lately you don't even now and that awesome fanfic that I read didn't calm my feels so yeah~ (Chen's voice) I'm here and I'll write this fic) ^^ This is probably going to be super fluffy (Idk maybe not), but it's going to be multi-chaptered. I actually ship Kray or Layhan, but everyone's so in love with XiuHan and Taoris and that makes me pissy, but here I am writing a fic with all these couples (I am definitely a weirdo >.<) No actually these couples seem more real than my OTP's (I mean come on' Luhan you are the most obvious person on this planet. 2nd place after Jongin or Baekhyun maybe) So I hope you guys will like my fic and subscribe ^^ I'm also always really really happy to read comments, so please don't be shy. I'm happy about the smallest feedback ^^ And I will just go with a gif as poster, as long as I don't have one lol ^^