edited~

 

SeHun's P.O.V

 

After I brought him with me my life had become so much harder.

But I wasn't lonely or bored anymore.

I didn't even know why I had let him live on the first place. Was it because I just wanted to chase him more or because of his sad eyes? He had even asked me to end his life after I had thown my blade. Was I stupid? My life would be so much easier right now if I had left him die alone.

No, it wouldn't be.

I had to feed him and take care of his wounds and it wasn't an easy job. Thank god I hadn't hit his backbone because if I had he would be a dead deer right now. The scar on his back had healed pretty well but it was still looking pretty bad and complicated his movement, so taking care of him took a lot of time.

But I liked it.

I had problems with my job too. Every time I was about to shoot one of those creatures down my Bambi's pleading eyes popped into my mind, and guess what? I couldn't bring myself to kill anymore. And my boss was super mad. How awesome!

When I had let him live my heart felt good for the first time in my life. I really liked that feeling, it was warm and relaxing, and it made me happy. I wanted to feel like that more.

I was a hunter. I shouldn't be thinking this way.

This wasn't good.

Not at all.

If I had killed him I wouldn't be feeling so bad every time I came back from hunting. I wouldn't be feeling pity toward them.

No, this feeling wasn't different. I had always felt like this.

Because of him I had started to doubt my job and the reasons why we had to kill them.

I had always doubted it.

He was just my toy. The toy I could play when I wanted. He was nothing more. He couldn't be. He could be beautiful and cute but he was still my pet. He wasn't a human. He was an animal. They all were just animals.

Why do I lie so much?

They weren't just animals. They weren't just some supernatural creatures. They were almost like humans. Actually they were more humans than me. They didn't kill. I killed. They were good. I was the bad one.

LuHan, my Bambi, was so pure and cute, so loveable. He would never hurt a fly but he was the one who got hurt.

I was the one who hurt him.

His arms were aroud my waist, hugging me tightly. His lips were swollen and red. It really made him look cuter. I had slowly become addicted to his touches, his scent, his voice, his beauty, to him. He was so beautiful and sweet, he made my heart beat faster.

 

I felt sorry.

 

I used him to relieve my stress. I forced him to do things he didn't want. I always made him cry.

There were just few times I had seen his smile. But when he did, it was because of the small things, like when I let him sleep on my bed or when I fed him fresh berries. He enjoyed beeing babied. A lot. He forgot way too easily that I was a bad person when I was nice to him.

He didn't trust me but he didn't try to fight against me either. My mood changed often because of him. He caused me those annoying mood swings and I had learnt a lot of new emotions when I spent time with him. Sometimes I was just like my old self, cold and silent, and then there were times when my new, caring and gentle, side took the control over my mind. I was really shocked how much I had changed although I didn't show it outside.

After a month he was still afraid of me. Well, it wasn't a suprise. I had been quite cruel toward him. After all I had locked him into the cage where he wasn't able to move. I had also chained him and made him sick few times. My mean words were probably haunting him in his dreams. So he sure had many good reasons to be scared and hate me.

 

I'm sorry.

 

I hugged his body more tightly. He was still awake. His breathing was calm and slow and it made me really sleepy. I felt myself relax. Just ten minutes before I had been so frustrated and angry but he had calmed me down.

My boss was getting more annoying every day and made my anger rise dangerously high but I was glad that I had that personal sleeping pill waiting me at home.

 

Sleep well Bambi.

 

My brains shut themselves almost immediately.

I was a light sleeper but I had hard time waking up these days. My days were so busy that I rarely slept enough. So I had to use every chance I got wisely.

I turned in my sleep. I was already in a deep slumber but I could feel my surroundings quite well. The clock was ticking in the corner, covering the other noises. Everything else was so calm except my heart. Something wasn't right. My uncomfortable blanket was clued into my back but it was still too cold.

My eyes shot open suddenly.

My hazy gaze landed to the dark wall instead of my Bambi's sleeping face.

 

He wasn't with me.

 

The spot beside me was empty.

 

How big of an idiot I can be?

 

Really?

 

 

Well.

 

Maybe he was still near?

 

I walked soundlessly to the door, hoping to see a shadow with two deer horns.

The wooden door was open, not much, but it still let the cold autunm air inside. Bambi's black child-like shilouette was still visible although the night was really dark. The clock was probably just a little over midnight and the moon was hid by clouds. The forest was silent, I couldn't hear any sounds, like we were the only things alive. The dropping leaves of the trees were dancing in the playful wind.

He was standing there quietly, back toward me, my keys in his little hand. The wind was messing his hair as he took careful steps away from me, toward his freedom.

 

No. You can't leave.

You're mine.

 

"Where are you going Bambi?"

 

My own voice suprised me. Was it always so cold?

 

Bambi froze completely after those words left my lips, he stood there unmoving, trembling slightly, his breathing got fast when I walked closer.

I was getting excited again. The moments like this made my hunter instincts wake up. They made me playful and careless, I didn't care about the future or the mistakes I'll make. I just wanted to enjoy these moments I really felt alive and forget everything else.

 

"Haven't I told you that I don't let my prey escape? Hmmmm??" I whispered into his ear.

 

I couldn't care less how cruel I was, I had to more. He had that something in him I couldn't resist.

 

"What a naugty little deer you are."

 

Yes, you're my little deer.

 

"What should I do with you?"

 

We were face to face again, the unwanted tears were falling down on his rosy cheeks.

 

"Should I punish you? Stealing my keys and trying to sneak away in the middle of night isn't a really nice thing to do."

 

I hugged his trembling body.

 

"Let m-me go... please..." I heard him sobbing against my chest.

 

"Never."

 

His lips tasted so good.

 

"You can't get away from me."

 

Sorry Bambi. I can't let you go.

 

 

 

___________

LuHan's P.O.V

 

Why me?

 

There was so many other forest spirits and shape shifters so why did he pick me? Of all people why did it had to be me who was still alive and got chased over and over again?

 

What have I done to deserve this?

 

Probably nothing. I was just unlucky and weak, just an easy target.

 

Why can't I push him away?

 

Why can't I escape and live my life somewhere far away without worries?

 

Why do I always fail everything?

 

Why can't I be as good as the others? Why can't I do something, even just once, right? Why can't I be stronger and fight?

 

Why is he kissing me?

 

Why is he so confusing? Why does he make my heart so heavy and painful? Why is he abusing me like that?

 

I don't understand him at all.

 

"Don't try to hide your beautiful face from me." The kisses he stole from me were getting more messy.

 

I didn't like that he kissed me when he just felt like it. But what could I do? Nothing. He was so much stonger that he could do everything he wanted without asking my permission.

 

I was struggling in his tight grip.

 

"Do you really want me to punish you?" His voice got louder.

 

"No! I'm so-sorry."

 

"Oh really?" The anger was boiling in his eyes.

 

"Aahhh!"

I couldn't hold that yelp in when threw me suddenly over his built shoulder.

 

"Time to go back inside my little deer."

 

I was watching again how my freedom was taken when the door covered the sight I loved more than anything else. How I wish I could just run around freely and forget all the bad memories he had given me.

 

How many I have to see him covering the sky again before this ends?

 

After he got me successfully back inside he placed me back into the cage, remembering to lock it this time. Once again I found myself sitting in uncomfortable floor and watching wooden walls, his annoyed voice ringing in my head.

 

"Do you know how much trouble you have caused?"

 

A lot?

 

I didn't want to see his handsome face right now but I mistook to look at him in a panic when I heard him coming close my cage.

Instead of coming toward me he sat down on the sofa and sipped coffee, eyes never leaving me. A bitter aroma lingered in the air making my already tired head dizzy.

The long minutes passed slowly. I didn't know what time the clock was showing but I could still guess that morning wasn't even close.

I didn't move. He didn't move. I couldn't turn my gaze away so we just stared each others.

His sharp eyes were little red and he had clearly hard times to keep them open. But they told me everything, I had been a really bad boy, or deer. The warning was really clear.

I had pissed him off but why was he so calm? He didn't hit me. He didn't yell or ignore me.

 

"Don't look so angry. It was you who tried to run away."

 

Of course it was me. Who else?

 

I didn't argue back loudly because he wouldn't even listen to me and pissing him off again was an absolute no right now. I just chose to sit silently in the corner.

Our staring contest lasted till the sunrise. I survived as the winner but he was the first one to speak up.

 

"Tell me princess, do you want to eat your porridge with sugar or berries?"

 

What?

 

 

 

____________

 

The next three days were pure torture. I had expected him to... well.. be angry and kill me? Punish me? Do something to hurt me?

But no.

I was treated like an expensive doll. He fed me, helped me with my clothes, brushed my teeth every night before going to sleep and let me lay next to him on his bed. He never left my side, like I could vanish if he let me out of his sight.

He had changed into the gentle SeHun I liked.

He made sure I had everything I needed and it was seriously freaking me out. This was even more scary than being chased and I had let myself enjoy of the attention he gave me, but I couldn't say that it hadn't felt good.

He had been so nice but I should had already learnt that these good moments will never last forever.

 

He was packing his bag.

 

Are you leaving me alone again?

Please don't.

 

I was afraid of him but I was even more afraid of beeing alone in the dark.

The nights were so scary here, the nightmares kept me awake and I felt like the black shadows could eat me in any moment. At home I had liked the nights because the shiny moon was with me but here I couldn't see it.

 

I saw how he walked to the door, his eyes were cold and emotionless again.

 

It was so funny that he hurt me and protected me at the same time. He gained my trust with a hard work and then destroyed it into tiny pieces.

 

"I'll be back tomorrow so try to behave."

 

The door opened and closed.

 

At the end he just left.

 

I didn't realize that I was crying until warm tears blurred my eyes.

 

 

What did I even expect?

 

 

 

____________

SeHun's P.O.V

 

I was currently walking back home in the rain, my legs hurt and I was starving. This had been maybe the best meeting with my boss in a long time. Please note the sarcasm in my voice.

 

"You should get rid of that trash."

 

I had told my boss about LuHan, not the whole story but some little parts of it. And he hadn't been extremely happy with the fact that I had let him live but he bought my lies easily so my Bambi was safe.

I had told him how I used him as a bait to catch more forest spirits, his face had been so confused when he listened my stories. I can't still believe he had trusted me. How stupid he was? But yeah, I could be convincing too when I wanted.

The forest spirits were funny to trick. They falled into the traps easily and because they were a little stupid they wouldn't figure out how to escape, so my story was quite credible. Of course Bambi had proven to be an unique snowflake but my boss didn't need that information.

The shape shifters were more clever and much harder to catch with that kind of traps or baits. All you needed was a gun.

There were few differences between the forest spirits and shape shifters. One, the forest spirits were mixes of humans and animals, like my Bambi, he looked almost like a human but two little brown horns pointed from his head. The shape shifters changed completly into animals and back when they wanted.

Two, the forest spirits were born to live in the forests and their senses were more animal like but the shape shifter prefered living in the towns and cities but because being there was too dangerous they had had to move into the forests and learn how to live as animals.

My boss had warned me that if I didn't get more targets soon I would lose my job. I couldn't care less about him but I didn't want to return my old life and leave this beautiful forest.

I can't say that I always enjoyed being here or the forest was the best place in the world especially in the moments like this.

It had started to rain just a while ago and I was already soaked. The cold water fell down from the dark sky as I tried to move my freezing legs faster. Only the cup of warm coffee could save this horrible day.

 

This day wouldn't get any worse.

 

I had hoped that my suffering would stop when I got home but seeing Bambi's beautiful face coverd by bruises and small cuts the red liquid dripping out of them when I got the door open just couldn't bring my ruined mood up.

 

"So-sorry..."

 

This was strange.

 

"D-don't be angry..."

 

Where did he get those cuts?

 

"I-I was..."

 

His trembling voice got more quiet when our eyes met.

 

"Ju-just..."

 

 

And then I saw it.

 

 

 

Oh.

 

 

 

Wow!

 

 

 

"Trying to escape?"

 

It was easy to see that he had tried to escape again. This time he had just done it with a style.

'With a style.'

Literally.

I have never been so shocked in my life before. The sight in front of me was really impressive. My place had never been clean but now it was a real junkyard.

 

Take deep breaths...

 

Breath in and out...

 

In and out...

 

In

 

and

 

out...

 

I wanted to scream.

 

The best part was I could see everything that had happened earlier in my head without doing anything else than looking around.

He had chosen a high window instead of a door. I can't say that it wasn't a intelligent idea but the ending wasn't so pretty, he had fallen right after he got the window open.

My whole sword collection on the wall, which he probably had chosen to use support his balance, was scrashed down with him. And of course he had also knocked the table down and it just had to hit the cupboard.

 

I wanted to cry.

 

He had got a big amount of cuts and his moving seemed to be really painful. He had tried to wipe the blood with his sleeves without much succession. It was a miracle that he was still alive.

 

Why couldn't he just use the door?

 

I was taking deep breaths eyes closed.

 

This day wouldn't get any worse.

 

"And do you think it was a good idea?" I stole a quick glare at his horrified face.

He had become very skillful at avoiding my gaze, he never made an eye contact with me. The floor was the most interesting thing in the world when I brought my hand under his chin and lifted it upward.

 

"We-well I-I..."

 

His stuttering pissed me off.

 

"You what!?"

 

"I-I am..." His panicking voice never reached my ears.

 

"Shut up and clean this mess!!"

 

He dropped on his knees, tears finally escaping from his scared eyes when the pieces of the glass bit into his skin. He didn't let any sounds leave his quivering lips although the pain was clearly too much, he just tried to collect all the glass pieces and sharp swords from around him with trembling hands. The sharp pieces cut his fingers everytime he picked them up.

It didn't take long to his shaking body to gave up. He was laying on the floor face burried into his bloody hands. I could hear his endless sobs and little hiccups he tried to hide echoing in my head.

 

 

 

What have I done again?

 

 

 

 

____________

 

You're hurt.

 

I was standing at the door waiting him to come back inside. I had made clear that he isn't my prisoner anymore, he was free to go if he wanted.

 

I hope he will come back inside.

 

Nineteen days had already passed from that little escaping accident. Those days had been long and colorless. I didn't want to think about the accident or the sleepless night after it. There had been only bad memories filling that day up.

He sat under the sunlight, a little smile on his face. He looked so vulnerable. He hugged his knees and enjoyed the last warm days of this year. The smile on his face wasn't fake but it wasn't happy either, it was sad.

 

You're broken into pieces I can't fix.

 

I could see that he had given up. He was slowly becoming depressed. He didn't care anymore. He was eating less and less as the days passed and he had lost weight. I tried to feed him more but it didn't help.

His eyes were colorless and empty. Those nightmares kept him up at nights and the black spots under his eyes reminded me of that.

 

It was all my fault.

 

Every time I looked him I saw how horrible person I was. How cruel I had been. I saw the scars I had made, the pain and sorrow. And I never changed myself.

 

I should have.

 

He wasn't the only one I had hurt. There were many more of them. I didn't want to remember the other creatures I had killed. I didn't want to hear their screams or see their unmoving bodies.

I wanted to forget everything but I couldn't. The memories were too vivid and clear. Time could never erase them.

I wanted to start over but the mistake had already happened. It was impossible to say sorry to the dead person. It was impossible to get them to forgive me.

 

When did I become like this? When I started to care? When I did realize that you're my life, my world, my everything?

 

You were nothing to me but now you're my heart. The heart that keeps me as a human. I don't want to be a killer anymore.

 

You are my heart but I will never be yours.

 

I want to make you laugh not cry. I want to hold you and tell you how beautiful you are.

 

Is it too late?

 

It is too late to gain your trust again? It is too late to heal your wounds? It is too late to promise that I won't hurt you?

 

 

It is.

 

I tried to be nice but I always ended up hurting you. I left you cry alone in the dark after I had told you I won't leave. I made you believe that I wasn't that bad but I destroyed those thoughts in seconds.

 

Why can't I stop?

 

My Bambi had stood up and was now watching me. The expression he had on his face was blank. I knew too well what it meant.

 

He was asking my permission.

 

Time had stopped again but why I could still feel the sun tickling my face? Why was the wind still dancing with the red and yellow leaves?

 

My mind was empty.

 

I could just look at him. His face was flawless. His huge eyes were full of hope and his pink lips were turned upward.

 

I didn't move when I saw him taking steps back.

 

He was leaving.

 

I hadn't realized how much I wanted him to stay until now. I already missed his rare smiles, the kisses I stole from him, his melodic voice and the warm hugs.

 

But I didn't go after him, I couldn't move.

 

'You don't belong here. I can't keep you locked anymore.' I kept repeating those words in my mind.

 

But I still want keep you as mine.

 

That was probably one of those wishes that will never come true.

'Keep you as mine.'

What a joke!

 

There is still the same blue sky above us. The sky will keep us tied together.

 

I felt like laughing.

I had become so hopeless. I was already ready to believe in lies to keep myself sane.

 

I didn't want to watch you leaving but did I had other choice?

 

No.

 

I didn't deserve someone like you. It was better to let you go before I did something I would regret forever.

 

Wait for me Bambi. I will come to get you back someday.

 

But will you let me catch you?

 

His light steps carried him toward the forest he loved so much. Toward the place where his home was, the place where he belongs. The shadows of the trees covered his small frame quickly and made him almost invisible. I could still see him turn to look at me one more time.

He looked so happy.

 

I want to smile too but I can't.

 

"I won't let my prey escape."

Those words lost their meaning today.

 

 

 

______________

a/n:

I'm late... sorry guys! Forgive me? >_<

It took me really long to get this ready and I want to thank you all because you supported me and waited so patiently. <3 LOVE YA!!

Comments pleaseee~ I want to hear your beautiful voices!~~ Seriously, I love comments and they are like the best thing in the world!!

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And don't forget to read the bonus chapter! :3