The empty page seems to laugh at him under the glaring light of his desk lamp and Yixing bites on his lower lip and twirls the pen between his fingers, tapping it against the wooden surface just in front of him. His mind is blank and the last few pages of his notebook are blank and the air is blank and he’s really tired of this blankness; it doesn’t suit anything because the world is full of letters and words and sounds and blankness doesn’t fit the world, doesn’t fit him. He sighs.

Outside his room, in the kitchen, Chanyeol laughs about something Wufan just said and he can hear the obnoxiousness from here and that’s rare; usually he’d tune the world out when he’s writing, just so he can listen to his mind better, but something’s wrong today and he can’t seem to put that screen between himself and all the rest, and he clenches his fists and takes a deep breath of sheer effort; the noise from the kitchen gets worse when Sehun joins them and Yixing bites on his inner cheek as his nostrils flare and anger rises in his chest because what’s happening to him today and why can’t he just keep the world out? That’s his speciality, after all.

A car honks just outside his window and he shakes his head and tries to think as hard as his aching head allows him to, tries to concentrate his entire being on this one empty page. Minutes tick by and another car honks outside and he thinks that he really can’t stand this anymore; anger bubbles up his throat and he stands up with a frustrated scream, his chair hitting the ground with a large clanking sound. Yixing bangs his fist against the table and lets out another scream, hunched over his notebook in a perfect picture of agony. He’s angry and frustrated and ironically, this is when the dorm turns quiet; Yixing snorts and turns to sit on his bed with a flop, pulling the hood of his sweatshirt over his head and burying his face in his hands. The world leaks into his brain bit by bit and it hurts and Yixing whimpers and pulls his knees to his chest and he’s restless because he doesn’t know how to stop himself from going mad and the next scream is a broken one, a sound of utter defeat. It’s hopeless.

The door to his room bursts open and someone’s kneeling in front of him, warm hands resting on his knees. He doesn’t even bother to check who it is because he already knows that the only one who’s brave enough to deal with his mental breakdowns is Junmyeon and he whimpers and grabs the older’s hands in a death grip, feeling his entire body shaking. “I can’t,” he chokes out, and then there are arms around him and the warmth that envelopes him is so complete and total that Yixing finally lets himself break down; his body shakes and tears roll down his cheeks and sobs leave him and Junmyeon just pats him on the back and says nothing because he knows that he needs to hear Yixing’s explanation before talking. It’s been like that since Yixing’s first breakdown years ago and it hasn’t changed since; Junmyeon’s still there and he’ll always be there because he promised and Kim Junmyeon is a man of his word.

It lasts for minutes, hours, days; Yixing sobs and holds on to the older until he feels empty enough to explain himself, his body tired and his face buried in the juncture between Junmyeon’s neck and shoulder.

"The world wants in, Jun," he whispers hoarsely, his hold on the older’s sweatshirt tightening. "It wants in and I can’t hold the world in me right now, I just can’t."

Junmyeon’s lips are pressed against his temple and Yixing closes his tired eyes and sniffs, wiping at his nose with his sleeve. “How can I help you keep the world out?” The older asks quietly, seriously, and the younger feels his chest swell with pride and love because he loves how his boyfriend knows his way with words and he loves how much respect Junmyeon has for his problems. He turns to snuggle himself into the older’s side, curling into a tiny little ball and holding onto Junmyeon with all his might. “Stay with me,” he sighs, and Junmyeon does just that.

They lay in bed for hours later, slipping into a dormant state with Yixing curled against the older’s chest and Junmyeon’s fingers playing with the younger’s hair; Yixing manages a small smile because he feels so perfectly understood like this and that’s not something you can just take for granted. And Junmyeon’s arms tighten around him as they kiss and the world keeps its distance and Yixing’s mind is at ease at last when they both fall asleep, slowly but surely.

An hour later, the door is opened to a crack and Luhan peeks inside, his expression softening when his gaze lands on the couple cuddled on the bed. He withdraws and the door closes and the entire dorm is looking at him expectantly, waiting for his report. He smiles.

"They’re good," he announces, and the sigh of relief echoing in the hallway is collective.

(Yixing wakes up hours later to the still asleep Junmyeon and wakes him up with gentle kisses; Junmyeon knows what’s best for him, and Yixing knows what’s best for Junmyeon.)