The early summer wind stings my skin and burns my lungs. It seems like living is too difficult now. My weakened knees starts to wobble, my eyes starts to get teary, my body feels numb, maybe I can’t endure this pain anymore. I stare blankly at thin air and absentmindedly count the seconds that pass by. One, two, one, two. But the seconds is stuck on two. Im stuck on the same time, same place, and same guy.

It only took two seconds, two seconds to take my happiness away from me. Two dreadful bitter seconds of my life.

He was my everything, he was my life. We hold onto each other like we were one another’s breaths and heartbeats. He makes me smile when I’m down, he makes me feel loved when I’m not, he makes me feel special like no other can. And I do the same for him. I put a smile on his face when his lips turn into a frown, I love him when the world throws stones at him, I treasure and cherish him especially because I love him.

He’s name is Luhan, the guy I met one cold night on the busy streets of Seoul. He was about to rob someone but when he saw me boring stares at him he immediately stopped what he was supposed to do and ran off without a word. He told me I’ve always been his Guardian Angel. Since that night on he told me that every time he’d try to do something reckless I’d suddenly pop in his thoughts and he would stop whatever he was about to do. He said I made him crazy. He wanted to see me again. So once again on the same street we met again. He was very shy as he introduced his self. His voice sounds melodious in my ears. And as a small smile crept on the corner of his lips I knew this guy would change my life forever.

We started seeing each other. Dates aren’t my type but Luhan made me like it. Walking by the park is our favourite past time with an ice cream and a lot of stories to spend with. Then suddenly one Saturday afternoon he revealed his past. He’s the eldest of six and lost his father at the early age of seventeen. He had to stop his studies and move to Seoul to support his family. At first he had a stable job until things got too difficult at home that he needs extra income. With his lack of studies, he had a hard time finding a decent job. He confessed he started to join gang smuggling, drug selling, stealing, and many other things that was wrong in the eyes of God. He told me he didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t knew what was the difference from right or wrong anymore. But ever since he knew me he started realizing what trouble he is getting his self into. As he continued his tale on how he walked to the wrong path in life I saw lost in his eyes. I saw the despair, sorrow, and mourn. His next set of words made me do one of the biggest decisions in my life:

“My life is at its worst but when you came you gave me a chance. I can’t bear to lose you Chorong. Please be mine, please.” He knelt down and there a cheap fake diamond ring shone lightly. I love him. I said yes.

The first few months of our happiness were pure bliss. I helped him in getting a decent job at a cafe while I work as a journalist on one of Seoul’s top publishing companies. He loved me like nobody else, he treasured me like nobody else, and he was my everything like nobody else.

We were happy until he suddenly became distant. He avoids me, he doesn’t go home, he would turn cold, and I felt so empty. I confronted him and we fought, I shouted at him and he shouted back hurtful words at me. He walked out of our apartment and I ran out for him. There he stood outside, stiff and his eyes seem to have seen a ghost. He told me to go back inside and lock my door.

“Please.” He choked out his words. His lower lip wavered and I saw tears rolling down his cheeks. Why was he crying? Why? I was too confused to obey. I walked a few steps forward and I caught him tremble in panic. “Please Chorong, please.” He pleaded for me to go back behind the shadows but I didn’t. The next thing I knew was I heard a gunshot. I closed my eyes and screamed in shock. Knocked down on the floor, I opened my eyes and there was my everything was lying beside me coughing blood and was staring at me with much love. Even at this kind of situation, he makes me feel loved. I crawled to him and unconsciously started whimpering his name. Tears started flowing out of my eyes. “Don’t leave me.” I shouted but it came out as a whisper. A hoarse whisper to the wind. He looked me in the eyes before smiling and said. One “My...” two “Angel.”.

Two seconds. Two seconds to darken the brightest days of my life. The police came and the investigation process was so painful to me. The thought of not knowing who killed the person you loved most is torture. Investigations show that Luhan was having death threats from the gang he was once in. They were asking for a large amount of money and if he doesn’t give them its either they kill him or me. A sob escaped my lips when the officer told me the information. All this time he was trying to protect me. All this time he was just saving me from danger. And at the end he did. My man sacrificed his life for me, he risked everything for me. I love him. I love him so much.

Such a bittersweet death. Until now I’m stuck on those two seconds. One,two,one,two. I wasn’t the angel. One,two,one,two. He was.

i cried when i wrote this. i hope you guys did to ahehe.

comment and upvote!

-secretblossom