Yongguk gazed over at Daehyun and sighed inwardly. The other was seated in a corner of the living room, staring down at his phone like a lost little puppy, though Yongguk knew very well that he glanced over at the rest of them frequently, hopefully, deflating when he realised those he wanted attention from were still ignoring him. Even in the past, when Daehyun had only just joined the group and was trying to adjust to Seoul and all the new people, he had never looked this dejected. He had always tried to hide it from them, but it was as though he had reverted to his former self and then some.

If Yongguk was being honest, he felt genuinely bad for him. He knew what Daehyun had said and, yes, the vocalist had been a little off towards him for a while, but the point was that he could understand why and it wasn’t because the younger was cruel. Daehyun was more insecure than he let on, and since things between the vocalist and Youngjae weren’t the same to how they were between Yongguk and Himchan (although that was still a work in progress), who were rebuilding their friendship, he probably felt like he was losing his best friend and his boyfriend.

It wasn’t even as though Daehyun was the only one to have said something stupid in a momentary lapse of judgement, but with tensions already high his words had been taken more seriously than they perhaps should’ve been. On top of that, he was known to make teasing comments people sometimes interpreted wrongly, but he never intended to be mean and generally knew how far he could go, and Yongguk wished they would all remember that. No, Daehyun shouldn’t have said what he did to Youngjae, but he had tried to apologise. And Yongguk, for one, knew exactly how hard that was for him.

Still, in spite of all that Himchan and Youngjae seemed determined to stay angry. Actually, Youngjae had been quite annoyed with Yongguk as well when the older had tried to convince him to see things from Daehyun’s point of view, but luckily he had gotten over that a little more easily. Himchan had refused to speak about it at all, clearly frustrated but not actually wanting to express it, like some messed up form of loyalty he couldn’t let go of. Useless as well, because they all knew how he felt.

Jongup was the only one who treated Daehyun as usual. He had thrown him some shade at first, but once Yongguk had called him out on this he had agreed that there was probably more to it. Yongguk wished he could do the same, but he wasn’t sure Daehyun wanted his attention.

The day after tomorrow Junhong was due to return, which only made things worse, because Yongguk didn’t want him to come back to a dorm where the mood was this sour. It didn’t matter that he was most likely prepared (Jongup had undoubtedly told him everything that was going on); this needed to be fixed. He was fairly sure the two youngest had an idea of how to accomplish this, but he couldn’t leave it to them, not again. After all, he was the leader, the oldest, and it should be up to him. He would just have to bite the bullet and talk to Daehyun whether the younger liked it or not.

He watched how Daehyun peeked over one last time before lowering his eyes and getting to his feet, lingering a few moments as though he hoped for a reaction, but left the room when he received none. Yongguk glanced at Youngjae, who was stubbornly watching TV, and at Himchan, who pretended to be doing the same, but his eyes weren’t moving and his shoulders were tense.

He decided it was probably best to follow the younger and did as he intended, mumbling something about being back in a minute when Youngjae raised his eyebrows at him. Seeming to know what he was up to, Jongup smiled at him approvingly, and with a bit of relief, probably because it meant he didn’t have to do so.

It wasn’t difficult to find the other, since the dorm was small and there was no reason for Daehyun to be anywhere other than in his and Junhong’s room. They had recently switched things around in their living arrangements, and although most things had remained the same, one important change was the bedrooms. Junhong had consented to share with Daehyun, since the latter had agreed with Himchan that it might be awkward for everyone else if they decided to share. (Though Yongguk expected that, once this fight was over, Junhong and Jongup would offer to share instead on some nights.)

He listened at the door for a moment, hearing shuffling inside, before he knocked. “Can I come in?”

It took a while, but Daehyun replied in the end. “Why?”

Not the answer Yongguk had hoped for. He sighed and leaned against the door. “Because I want to talk to you. I’m on your side here.” More silence followed. “Daehyun, I’m serious. I know you don’t like me very much right now, but I know you’re a good kid.”

A few seconds later he heard something at the door and moved aside so Daehyun could open it. “I’m not a kid,” was the first thing the vocalist said, mumbling, as he walked back into the room, leaving the door open behind him so Yongguk could follow him in.

“I insulted your boyfriend. Why would you be on my side?” Daehyun asked grumpily. “You should be angry with me too.”

“What’s the point in being angry?” Yongguk replied. “It wouldn’t do either of us any good.”

Daehyun’s lips twitched. “Don’t get all philosophical on me now, hyung.”

Yongguk grinned, happy that Daehyun sounded a bit more like he used to. “I mean it, Daehyun. I know we’ve never talked much and we definitely haven’t recently, but you are my friend and I do want to help you.”

Fidgeting with his fingers as he sank down on the bed, Daehyun looked away. “I’m sorry I’ve been such an ,” he said softly. “It’s just, with you and Himchan, and then you and Youngjae… It felt like I wasn’t needed and I got jealous. But it’s not your fault you’re better than I am, so… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

Yongguk furrowed his eyebrows. So that was how Daehyun felt. The leader shook his head and sat down beside him. “I’m definitely not better than you are, please don’t ever think that again. Himchan and I… We’re different from you and Youngjae, but the two of you will be fine again. He misses your friendship, I can tell. He’s just very stubborn, you know that, and he’s… I guess he’s not sure how to act around you yet, but he’ll get there.”

“I still shouldn’t have said that to him,” Daehyun muttered guiltily.

“No, that’s right,” Yongguk agreed. “But when Youngjae was figuring out his feelings for you he wasn’t always the best friend he could’ve been, and you guys got over that. You will again.”

“I don’t like Youngjae like that, though,” Daehyun was quick to explain, eyes wide in near panic.

Yongguk chuckled and patted Daehyun’s shoulder. “I know you don’t. You love Himchan, and that’s the real problem. You’re worried he’s going to leave you and you took it out on the wrong person.” He could tell from Daehyun’s facial expression that he had hit the nail on the head there and smiled sadly. From what Himchan had told him this had been going on for a while, but he had no idea it was such a big issue for the younger.

“Look, I don’t know why you think so, and you don’t have to tell me. But you do have to tell him.” He hesitated. “You know… When we talked the other day, Himchan wouldn’t shut up about you. He really loves you. Things like this… They make him worry you regret being with him.”

“What? Why?” Daehyun asked hurriedly, looking shocked.

“He knows you have confidence problems, and he does too,” Yongguk clarified, “but he feels like he doesn’t show you he loves you enough and that’s why you doubt him. And now he seems to think you’re jealous because Youngjae is with me, not with you.” He shook his head when Daehyun opened his mouth to protest. “I get it, Daehyun. He doesn’t. So talk to him.”

“I’ve tried, but he won’t listen to me!” Daehyun complained, his tone slightly desperate. “He just glares at me and leaves the room. Like Youngjae does.”

“Don’t worry about Youngjae yet. I’ll talk to him first,” Yongguk promised. He sighed and scratched his head. Himchan really was the bigger problem here, which was ironic, since the other had always hated it when people didn’t speak. It was something he had found in Daehyun that he had severely missed in Yongguk, yet now he was the one avoiding the discussion. “I’ll talk to Himchan too,” he decided. “Just for a little bit, so I can convince him to listen to you.”

“And how would you do that?” Daehyun asked sceptically.

Yongguk smiled widely. “I’ll remind him why he fell for you.”

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Himchan flipped through a book, not actually registering the words. Yongguk had come to speak to him earlier, about Daehyun, telling him he was being a hypocrite. Initially, he had been offended (still kind of was), but he had had a point: the fact that Yongguk never spoke to him about things had been one of the reasons he had fallen for Daehyun instead, and he hadn’t been too impressed when Youngjae ran away from Yongguk after their almost kiss (quite literally, too; that kid could be fast), yet here he was, shoving Daehyun aside when he was just trying to explain himself.

“I’m sure you have your reasons,” Yongguk had said, “but this can’t continue. If you want to be in a relationship, you need to communicate, and you can’t just hide away. That’s what you taught me, at least.”

Begrudgingly, Himchan had admitted that Yongguk had a point. His own insecurities had stopped him from hearing out his boyfriend, worried that he’d hear something he wouldn’t like. Perhaps he should listen to Yongguk and have a little more faith.

The knock on his door and Daehyun’s voice softly calling out his name didn’t surprise him; Yongguk had said he’d make sure the vocalist would drop by tonight. Jongup was still in the living room and had promised Himchan he’d stay out of the room unless told otherwise. Good old Jongup. Himchan could always count on him.

“Come in,” he replied, his heart beating anxiously when an equally nervous Daehyun stepped inside, his entire posture screaming out for Himchan to hug him and tell him it was all okay. Too curious what the other had to say, he stayed where he was and cocked an eyebrow questioningly, placing his book on the nightstand and leaning against the headboard more comfortably.

Daehyun inched towards the bed, eyes flickering upwards to silently ask Himchan if he could join him. At the older’s curt nod, he lied down next to him on his side, gently headbutting Himchan’s arm aside so he could slide his head underneath and place it on the other’s lap, like a giant cat.

Himchan bit his lip to stop the smile from spreading across his face. Daehyun could be too adorable sometimes, but it wasn’t time to let him know that yet. He did, however, scratch at Daehyun’s scalp, to which his eyes slid closed and his fingers dug into Himchan’s sweats.

“I’m sorry, Himchan,” he whispered, making Himchan’s stomach clench uncomfortably. Maybe he had been too harsh on him, because Daehyun was looking much more miserable than he really should.

He carded his fingers through Daehyun’s hair and breathed out through his nose when the other rubbed his cheek against his leg. “Just tell me why,” he replied. “Why were you so angry?”

“It’s not because I like Youngjae,” Daehyun replied promptly, making Himchan realise that Yongguk had probably told him a bit more than he would’ve liked. “Not like that,” he continued.

And he told him. Told him his worries, his insecurities, and Himchan was immediately reminded of earlier conversations they had had, where either or both of them had felt the same way. It was like an endless cycle and he wondered if they’d ever get out of it.

“And I know we fight about this a lot,” Daehyun suddenly said, like he had read Himchan’s mind. “Maybe it will be easier now that we don’t have to feel too guilty about Youngjae and Yongguk anymore, but they’re just… happy. They don’t have these problems. And that doesn’t really help.”

Himchan laughed softly. “We were the same at first, you know. They’re in the honeymoon phase, but they’ll fight too. And God help us when they do.” That made Daehyun snort, at least. “Look, all I need to know is that you love me, that you believe I love you, and that we won’t be like this forever. I don’t mind fighting, but I want us to move forward, not get stuck in the same arguments over and over again.”

Daehyun hummed his consent, his fingers gripping Himchan’s pants a little tighter. “I want the same,” he murmured. “But it will take time.” He gazed up at Himchan from his lap with those pretty, shining eyes, pleading with him for understanding at the moment. “…Is that okay?”

Now he definitely felt bad. If anyone understood that overcoming insecurities took time, it was him, and instead he had made Daehyun feel like crap. “Of course it is,” he answered softly. He grinned a little and nudged Daehyun’s shoulder. “At least you were jealous over me, that’s good to know.”

Daehyun smacked Himchan’s thigh playfully. “Like it could be any different,” he muttered. He cuddled closer to Himchan, looking more relaxed than before. “I was just being an idiot…”

“Yes, you were,” Himchan agreed. “But so was I, so I guess we’re made for each other.” He rubbed his thumb over Daehyun’s bottom lip, smiling when the other pressed a kiss to it. “So, can you please stop being overly shy and adorable now? I miss my Daehyun,” he teased.

Daehyun raised his eyebrows and sat up, pouting, throwing a leg over Himchan’s so he was straddling him. “What, are you saying I’m not usually adorable?”

“You are, just not to this extreme,” Himchan commented, wrapping an arm around Daehyun’s waist and kissing his face. “And I guess you can be shy, you just never are around me,” he added, making Daehyun shrug sheepishly. They both knew it was true, though.

Using his free hand, Himchan led one of Daehyun’s under his shirt and allowed it to rest on his stomach, resisting the urge to it in on contact. He knew it was probably ridiculous that this was a huge step for him, especially because they hadn’t exactly been abstinent all this time, but this was his insecurity.

“Before I lost weight, I received many, many harsh comments about my body,” he began, unsure why he felt the sudden need to speak about this, but hoping it would help Daehyun understand him a little better. “You know what teenagers can be like. Even afterwards there would be people who'd tell me how disgusting I was, how I could try as much as I wanted, but I'd never be able to stop people from seeing the truth. Every time I'd eat, they'd be there, ready to tear me down, until eventually I became more popular and they even tried to befriend me.” He exhaled heavily, a bitter smirk on his face. “But I've never forgotten it. It kind of left an impression, you could say. It’s nothing to do with you, I promise. This is just me being an idiot.”

Daehyun ran the pads of his fingers over Himchan’s skin, tracing figures, while he stared into the older’s eyes tenderly. “That doesn’t make you an idiot,” he said softly. “But thank you for telling me.” He gave Himchan a quick kiss before sliding down and situating himself between the visual’s legs, lifting Himchan’s shirt and leaving different impressions all over his stomach.

A/N: I felt quite bad for Daehyun, so hopefully this makes things a little better. I'm also not sure what happened at the end; things got a lot more intimate than I intended, and not even in a ual way. Oh well. ^^; The other three will play a bigger part next time, with Junhong returning and all that. As always, thank you for reading, commenting, subbing, etc. :)