Youngjae hummed as he unpacked his bag in Jongup’s room. Things with Yongguk had been incredibly awkward ever since they nearly kissed, although admittedly this was largely his fault. Yongguk had tried to speak to him, but he had skilfully been avoiding him, not wanting to hear what he had to say. After all, the last time someone had talked to him after they kissed, it hadn’t ended very well – for him, at least. He had lost to Himchan before and he was well aware Yongguk still had his eye on the visual, so he didn’t need Yongguk to explain this to him. It didn’t matter that Yongguk had no chance with him; he wasn’t the type to date someone else if he couldn’t fully commit to them.

On the other hand, Youngjae also fully realised things couldn’t continue this way. Even if just for the sake of the group, and because he owed it to Yongguk. After all, the leader had always treated him well, had been there for him during this entire thing. He had distracted him from the new couple, and throughout it all he had always tried not to burden Youngjae with his own problems.

And then he had tried to kiss him. But why?

Part of Youngjae knew there was something between the two of them, but he wasn’t sure what it was. Desperation, sadness, hurt? He refused to consider something more than that, because he didn’t want to set himself up for yet another heartbreak. Besides, Yongguk was older than him, with the soul of someone at least twice his age, which made the gap between them enormous. He was intelligent and kind, and in many ways far too good for him. Too good for anyone, really, if you asked him.

His feelings for Daehyun had been different. He hadn’t liked the idea of another vocalist, especially one with much less training, but then he had met him. Seeing him look so shy and insecure in front of them all, only to belt out a song with his beautiful voice and a stage presence to die for, he had changed his views of the other boy. And he had befriended him, admired him.

Once Daehyun grew more comfortable around them all, his true colours started shining through. He was a joker, a conman, who spoke too much and laughed too loudly, but Youngjae had fallen for him anyway, attracted by his energy. It had been hard to accept. Apart from the panic of falling in love with a friend, he had fallen in love with a guy, something he had always thought was wrong. It had taken some time to come to terms with it, and during that time he had pushed Daehyun away with all his strength.

Yongguk… Yongguk was different. He hadn’t changed over the years, was steady and safe. He had always been responsible, a true leader, and although he could be playful, he was much more serious than Daehyun. He was quiet, sensible, avoided cameras, and the only one who ever truly saw a different side of him was Himchan. And perhaps Youngjae as well now, after all the time they had spent together.

He shook his head. “Stop being stupid,” he mumbled to himself. Yongguk had treated him as he treated them all: he looked out for them, and Youngjae had happened to need his help a little more recently. It had been a fluke, that was all. Maybe he had been thinking of Himchan, or he was growing frustrated. After all, he was a grown man and surely he had needs. Youngjae flushed at the thought, because it felt wrong to think of the other that way.

What he needed was a good night’s sleep, he decided. Lately, with his worrying and avoiding, he hadn’t been able to sleep properly. He should probably treat Jongup to something for allowing him to stay here.

A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts and made him frown. Had Jongup forgotten his key card? He glanced at the dresser as he walked to the door, taking note of the two cards on there, and decided he should remind the younger boy to keep his on him at all times.

“Yah, why did you leave your card here?” he asked as he opened the door, his eyes widening when he saw who was on the other side. His first instinct was to slam it shut again, but Yongguk seemed to foresee this and pushed the door wide open.

“We need to talk,” was all he said as he slipped past Youngjae.

“This isn’t the best time. Jongup will be back soon,” the vocalist replied shortly, looking down at the floor.

“No, he won’t.”

Confused, Youngjae lifted his head, but Yongguk’s apologetic expression told him all he needed to know. He clenched his jaw and crossed his arms. So they had tricked him? Even Jongup, who he had trusted to be on his side?

“I’m sorry,” Yongguk said, sounding sincere. “But we need to talk, Youngjae-ah, and I honestly couldn’t think of another way.”

Youngjae opened his mouth, to protest, to yell; he wasn’t sure himself. In the end he only sighed and shut the door, still unhappy, but also realising that Yongguk was right. He liked to think of himself as a smart young man, and it was about time he started acting like it. Besides, running away had been exactly what had gotten the two of them in this mess in the first place, and if Yongguk was willing to discuss this, then he should be too. If he ever wanted to be worthy of the leader, he should stop acting so childishly. That didn’t mean he wasn’t terrified, though.

He sat down on what was to be his bed and sighed deeply. “Fine… I guess you’re right,” he admitted begrudgingly. “But I still don’t like how you guys did this,” he continued, his eyes narrowed.

Yongguk smiled shyly and Youngjae quickly looked away. “I know. I didn’t want to agree, but the guys convinced me.”

An awkward silence followed, neither of them seeming to know how to continue the conversation. The bed dipped when Yongguk seated himself beside Youngjae, who nearly jumped at the movement. He eyed the rapper carefully and watched how he seemed to prepare himself for something. Youngjae tensed up, scared to find out what it could be.

“As you know, I was in love with Himchan,” Yongguk began.

Youngjae pursed his lips but nodded, though Yongguk couldn’t see the gesture. Of course he’d talk about Himchan. It was all his crushes ever seemed to do to him.

“I wanted to be with him so badly, but I was scared. I was worried I’d lose my best friend if I ever tried to pursue him, and although he allowed me to touch him, I was convinced it wasn’t what I thought it was. So I waited, never saying a thing, and I hurt him badly. Himchan is a sensitive person, and I regret treating him that way.” Yongguk chuckled darkly and shook his head, his eyes focused on his hands, which were squeezed together. “To be honest, I don’t even have an explanation for why I did it. I’ve always had difficulty expressing myself verbally, still do, and I think that was part of the reason. The other part being that I often felt like Himchan was out of my league, but I never actually asked him if that was true.”

He glanced up at Youngjae, his eyes searching for something unknown. “I hate what I did to him. Not only because I drove him into Daehyun’s arms, but because of the pain I caused him. And I don’t want to make that same mistake again.”

Youngjae nodded, his heart pounding. He wasn’t sure where this was going, but he knew he should let Yongguk finish without interrupting him. The next words coming from the other’s mouth made this much more difficult.

“I like you,” Yongguk said. He had thought about how to express his feelings long and hard, but no words were good enough. Being straightforward and honest seemed the best course of action. He saw how Youngjae’s eyes widened almost comically, his mouth opening to speak up, but Yongguk swiftly held up his hand to stop him.

“When we first started hanging out, it just made sense. We had been the ones who had to watch those we loved get together, and I had only counted on us becoming better friends. But things changed. I started to depend on you and cared about you too much for a friend.” He hesitated, wanting to touch Youngjae, his hands, his face, but unsure how the other would react. “I don’t know how deep my feelings are,” he admitted, “but I do know I like you more than I should if I want you as only a friend.”

“But Himchan-” Youngjae began, frowning when Yongguk shook his head.

“I still care about Himchan. Just as you probably still do about Daehyun. It’s normal for them to always have part of our hearts, and if they loved us like they said they did, it goes both ways.” This time he did take Youngjae’s hand, though he held it loosely, encouraged when Youngjae didn’t pull away.

“I don’t love him, if that’s what you mean,” he continued, looking into Youngjae’s eyes earnestly. “I’d never tell you all this otherwise.”

Youngjae bit his lip and slid his hand out of Yongguk’s, a frown appearing on the leader’s face when he did. “You don’t need to pity me,” Youngjae said bluntly, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “I know I’m not Himchan, so why would you like me?”

Yongguk’s frown deepened. “I’m not Daehyun either,” he pointed out. Personally, he felt the difference between him and Daehyun was far greater than that between Youngjae and Himchan. “And you should know I’d never say such a thing because I feel like I need to, even less because of pity.”

He sighed when Youngjae remained unresponsive. He knew the younger was damaged because of everything that had happened, but he had no clue how to handle this. When the others had discussed the plan for the evening with him, this scenario had never come up. Possible rejection, yes (although they had all assured him it was unlikely), as well as Youngjae confessing in return. Never this, though; they had all naively assumed Youngjae would believe him.

After a moment’s contemplation he grabbed Youngjae’s hand again and placed it on his chest, over his heart, which was beating faster than usual. He gazed at Youngjae solemnly, the other looking back in confusion.

“…It’s fast,” the vocalist said eventually, when it became clear that Yongguk wasn’t going to speak first.

Yongguk smiled gently. “Because of you.” He released Youngjae’s hand, but it stayed in place, the younger staring down at his chest in wonder. “If you can’t believe my words, perhaps you will believe this.”

He nearly cringed at his own words and felt grateful the others couldn’t hear him, because he was sure Daehyun would never let him live this down. Bang Yongguk didn’t do cheesy, but if it helped, he was willing to be.

Youngjae’s lips twitched as he finally took his hand away. “I think I’m in love with you,” he admitted, warmth spreading throughout Yongguk’s body at those words. “But I don’t know if it’s a rebound thing or not, and I don’t want to get together with you and find out I’ve been using you.”

Yongguk wanted to say Youngjae could use him any day, but that was probably too much – not to mention the images it brought to mind weren’t exactly appropriate at the moment. “We can only find out if we try,” he commented with a shrug.

“You make it sound so easy,” Youngjae sighed. “What if we end up hurting each other?”

“Honestly? I think we run that risk either way,” Yongguk confessed. They had gone too far to simply go back to being friends now, and although he was just as scared as Youngjae, he couldn’t show it. Besides, they were both adults and professionals, and surely they wouldn’t let a relationship ruin anything. Complicate things, perhaps, but no more than that. And if it did turn out to be a rebound thing for one or both of them, then that was fairly easy to overcome, considering what they had both already gone through.

“I think…” Youngjae paused and scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I think I’d rather find out it was a mistake than wonder about what-ifs.”

Yongguk watched Youngjae turn towards him, the younger offering him a small smile. “So… If you’re sure, then I’m willing to give it a try.”

Yongguk grinned.

A/N: I'm sorry it took me so long to update! I could come up with a ton of excuses, but I'm sure no one is interested in those. So here we have a full Bangjae chapter, but of course this isn't the end of everyone's problems. They all have plenty of issues that still need to be addressed, but for now let's leave these two to enjoy their happiness. XD And I'll do my best to take less time with the next part!

Also: how much is everyone else loving the Excuse Me MV? Not to mention Secret's I'm in Love... A very good week for TS, if you ask me. XD