[[A/N: This is about to end soon...]]

It's been year since the two of them had seen each other. The last time he saw her was on graduation day, and even so she payed no attention to him. He closed his eyes as he took another sip from the bottle of beer in his hands. He remembered trying to walk up to her, but ended up stopping in his tracks when he saw her happily run into Kang Seungyoon's arms. He ran a hand through his messy hair as he sighed again looking at the mess of the apartment he had. Empty cans, bottles, and various canisters of various types of alcohol littered his abode.

Not only that, he hadn't had a home cooked meal in a while, so he had many takeout containers that littered his apartment as well. He groggily got up as he knew he was barely tipsy despite all the alcohol he had consumed for the past hour. He had moved out, gotten his own apartment, a stable job, new friends, and an addiction to alcohol as that same girl kept creeping back into his thoughts from time to time. Despite all the time that had passed and all the relationships he had been in, he still couldn't forget about that one girl. That one girl that came into his life in a flash and was gone in another. He got a call on his cellphone and without even checking who it was he answered it. "Did you check your mail yet?" His coworker Yoongi had asked him.

When Namjoon replied with a short "No." he was then commanded to go ahead and check it. After getting the mail and going back into his apartment he randomly sorted through it as he lay on his couch. He convinced himself that he would clean his house later, or eventually as he sighed. He lazily threw his unwanted mail to his right, free points from a casino he went to months ago, a bank coaxing him to open more credit cards, another bank telling him the same thing, coupons, a car insurance company telling him to switch, and a wedding invitation. Wait, a wedding invitation? He got up to pick up the letter once again as he curiously opened it.

"This couple requests the honor of your attendance
at the marriage of

Moon Jongup

&

Kim Jihye"

Did he read that correctly? Was Jihye really getting married after such a small amount of years? He felt the familiar pain in his heart and the tears forming in his eyes again. He dropped the invitation as he went to his fridge to open and down another beer. He took in a deep breath and leaned against the counter, can in hand. What was he going to do now? The tiny bit of hope he had that he would meet his beloved Jihye again and get together had been destroyed as he saw their two faces happy on the back of the invitation.

He closed his eyes shut, he couldn't blame his coworker for not knowing about their history together. He should blame himself for not paying attention to what his coworker had told him. He didn't want to, but he somehow ended up calling his coworker to tell him he'd go to his wedding. Namjoon then went around the kitchen to clean up what he could of his messed up home. At least there was one messed up thing he would be able to clean up. He bit his lip at that thought as he kept on cleaning.

Grabbing a black trash bag from the kitchen, he went around the apartment picking up all the trash left around. He then went into his room and threw some other unwanted items into the bag. He then picked up a crumpled envelope from under his bed and opened it for he forgot what was in there. He sat down on his bed as he opened it up again and pulled out the contents. His eyes widened as he saw the childhood photo of him and Jihye together. His hands shook as he clutched onto the crumpled letter. Did he dare to read it? Well it seemed like he was already an emotional mess again, so he decided to do it anyway. 

"You annoying little !

... Do you still remember those times Jihye? Those innocent and happy times we had as children? I can't ever forget them, just like I can't forget you. The more I live without you, the more pain I feel each and every day. I miss you so much that words can't even express how I feel. I know it's been a while, but I still can't get over you no matter what I do.

I've tried alcohol for the first time today, and honestly I'm a bit drunk while writing this. Alcohol is obviously not good for my health, but it's helping me forget you even for just a short while. I still wonder what we would be like if we were together and gave our love a chance. I still wonder what would have happened if our stupid mistakes and decisions didn't happen, or at least were forgiven. But alas, the past is the past and I can't do anything about it no matter how much I wish I could. I probably shouldn't be saying this, but I don't care right now. I still love you.

I've been in so many relationships but I don't even dare to count. It all ended with the same stupid reason, those girls weren't you. My heart is still aching for you and I can't do anything about it. No matter what I did with them, you still always seemed to appear in the back of my mind. There were so many times I accidentally called them by your name instead of their own. What were their names again? Ah, I can't even remember anymore, this is the effect you have on me.

I can tell you're never going to see this letter, but I just had to write out these stupid feelings of mine. Am I stupid for still loving you? Am I selfish for still wanting you after all these years? Am I crazy just because I seriously can't get over you? Maybe I am, actually I know I am. I can't do anything about my feelings and it's driving me insane. I love you Kim Jihye, I can say it 1 million times and yet it won't mean anything to you won't it?"

Namjoon fell back onto his bed as he lost himself in his old memories. "How the am I going to last at your wedding?" He groaned to himself as he brought his hands to his face. Who knows? Maybe he can back out of this before the deadly date comes by.