[Baekhyun's pov]

I met up with Chanyeol the next day, or more like bumped into each other while I was walking around Bomi's neiborhood. It took me by surprise because he was freaking tall, he was tiny when I left, and what's more, there was this beautiful girl, with Yeol's arm wrapping around her waist. Soon I found out, she was Bomi's bestfriend, well at least she was when we were kids, Eunji. Nonetheless, I soon realised the situation between them had changed. Eunji and Bomi, even though they were friends, weren't 'best friends' any more. Bomi had shut down between them after she found the cancer. 

"She doesnt want anyone around her" Eunji stated sadly, leaning against Yeol's shoulder as we sat on a bench near an ice cream store "afraid she'll hurt her/his feelings because..." And she stopped, tears forming in her eyes. 

"She doesn't know if shell survive or die" Chanyeol picked up after Eunji seemed impossible to continue "the doctors say it's 20% chance of living" he said quietly, rubbing Eunji's shoulder as he looked up to the sky with sad eyes. He too had some good memories with Bomi. 

I nodded, not saying a word. 

"Dude, I'm sorry" Yeol suddenly said, looking at me 

"for what?" I said, smiling weakly

"you love her, right? Ever since you were little" he said, his voice shaking 

I looked away, nodding. 

"I saw her throwing up yesterday, after she came and picked us up at the airport. Even at the airport, she looked devastating, you know? It was like watching a person die. That happy Bomi wasn't there to greet me, but she was not even in the state of smiling" I said, gritting my teeth "what made her like this" I mumbled 

"she was all healthy and out going, until that day when she threw up in class..." Eunji started "everyone made fun of her, of clues at first, but something wasn't right. She looked pale like a gohst, I still remember. And then that was it. My bestfriend never came back to school, even our middle school's graduation. My bestfriend became a friend, and now she treats me like I'm nothing. But we can't blame her, Baekhyun ah, she's going through more than any of us. We have to be smiling, wait for her to call for help. And then I'll be there, I'll be right beside her even when I'm sick and dying, because I know how lonely she is" 

It was aftern noon when I got back to Bomi's house. Her mom greeted me, asking if I want lunch but I excused myself, telling her I had lunch and went strait to the guest room. Wanting to be alone and think about what Eunji, as well as, Chanyeol said. I had missed out a lot, mostly the important things and regretted not being able to be besides Bomi when she needed someone. 

*knock knock 

About an hour later I opened the door that lead to Bomi's room. There was no response even when I knocked it several times so I slowly opened it, seeing Bomi sleeping soundly I'm her bed. I smiled, seeing her innocent face. She didn't even look like a dying person when she was asleep. 

Quietly, I sat on the end of her bed and stared at her sleeping face for a while, humming 'Stars' from les miserable. It never struck me, but looking at her now, she had really grown maturely. Her round face had gotten slimmer and the short hair like a boy was now long and fluffy. Mostly, she had become really really beautiful. 

"Why,Bomi? Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered, as I stood up and walked towards her desk, a natural instinct. 

Looking at all her textbooks and photos of her on the desk, my eyes stopped at one notebook, that said 'My Journal. ' 

i stretched out and slowly pulled it out. Flipping through it, I stopped at one page where it was all crunchy and messy, a result of writing when crying. 

8/16/13

please god, I do not understand. What have I done wrong to achieve this friend called 'cancer. ' It came without warnings, I haven't done anything. Was it because I lied to mom? Was it because I kicked Chanyeol the other day? 

Please god, I need an explanation. 

The doctors and my parents say I'll be fine. That I'll survive, but I am not a 5 year old. I can sense it, I can tell. I won't survive that long. I am a human gerenade. The time has started to click, and now you cannot stop me. 

It's funny though. You don't feel like you're going to die. I wanted more time. I wanted to see how life is like as an adult. I wanted kids, my own kids. I wanted a job. I wanted to work. I wanted to go around the world, taking photos of all the interesting things. I wanted to drink and go clubbing with Eunji. I wanted to feel love. And love someone that's not here. Baekhyun oppa. Where are you when I need you? You're my prince, but you aren't coming back are you? You're not here to help me with this thing. I want to see your smile. Your voice and your warmth. I love you oppa. I have and still. 

Dear diary, why isn't god here? I do not understand. 

Please god, why? 

I shut the book and gripped it. 

"Oppa?" I heard Bomi call me, she must have woken up. I turned to face her, but her eyes were on the journal that I was holding so tightly, that I had forgotten to let go. "You-" 

"I'm sorry, Bomi ah for not being here with you" I said, half crying as I walked towards her "I'm sorry you had to be like this, I'm sorry I just left you" I stopped right when I was by her bed "but I promise I'll be with you from today. I will protect you and lead you out of that maze. I will be your friend and I will never leave you behind" she looked at me and I looked at her "because I love you, and that's the promise I have been keeping since we were little"