1. BTS Tomorrow

2. BTS 좋아요 (Like)*

3. Rap Monster Trouble*

4.B.A.P Coma (Just enough for the last part)

*2-3 make up the slightly rated part

My name Baek Yoo-Ae

My name means “love killer,” but I’m not

I swear

I looked in the mirror hung on the wall at myself, pulling my collar down to see the curse mark on the left side of my collarbone.  Ironically, it was right where my heart would be, maybe a tiny bit above.  Remembering how much this thing stung when I first got it made me flinch.  But what made me growl was remembering the woman that cursed me with it.  If you even want to call her a woman.  I’m not exaggerating when I say that she’s a demon, she really was one.  I sat down on my couch and pulled my knees up to my chest, burying my face in them for probably the thousandth time in the past year, letting myself be surrounded by the darkness.  I purposely close the curtains of my apartment and keep it as dark as I could possibly stand except for whatever moonlight shines in and my fireplace in my tiny living room.  It mirrors me and my solitude, and it's my reminder that I shouldn't bring anyone in here.  I was fated to live and die alone.

I brought my head up and stared into the fire.  The flickering orange and yellow colors stood for my passionate feelings.  Rage and love that I keep locked up deep in my heart and I can’t let out.  It’s the only light in my dark, depressing self.  They conflict with each other, constantly fighting for dominance.  But love was the one on the losing streak.

The fire was also my curse, and I have no control over it.  All because of that demon.

I just watched the light flicker against each other, ashes flying everywhere.  It was mesmerizing, almost hypnotizing...

The doorbell rang, to my confusion.  I don’t remember expecting someone to come today.   Heck, I don't even remember wanting anyone at my house since after...what happened.  I live on my own, only leaving the house to go to school and come back, so who the hell would be at my door?  I opened the door slowly and my eyes widened.

“Yoo-Ae...”

I took careful steps backwards.  "Seokjin…”  No, why?!  My world was just turned upside down in a matter of a mere second.  Everything that I didn’t want to happen was starting to unfold in front of me.

“You’re not happy to see me?”  His face slightly fell watching my apparent fear stricken expression as he closed the door behind him.  He walked a few steps into my dimly lit apartment.

The shock of Seokjin coming unexpectedly was too much for me to formulate an answer to his question.  My heart started shaking, and a fire started to spread through my body as the heat rushed upward toward my head.  But at the same time, my stomach was turning and I became so nervous.  Seeing him set me off like this all the time.  I turned around, still shaking slightly.  “You’re here…” I whispered, barely audible.  Stay controlled, just stay calm, I chanted in my head, but the heat continued to spread like it had a mind of its own.  I sat down on the couch slowly with my back towards him, trying to take steady breaths.

I had been dreading the day that I've had to face him.  When it comes to Seokjin, he knows when something's up, and I'm a dead giveaway with how I've been ignoring him.  I knew I wouldn't have enough control over myself, which was why I had to ignore him and push him away as much as possible.

"Why are you here?" I growled, not daring to face him.

He flinched at the harshness of my words.  "Listen, I just came to see you-"

"You shouldn't have come," came my curt answer.  The heat was crawling up my neck, scorching beneath my skin.  "You should have known better."

"Come on, Yoo-Ae, you're overreacting," he laughed it off.  If only you knew Seokjin...

"You don't know what I'm capable of doing, which is why you should leave now while you still can," I warned him.  My tone was still monotone and controlled, but I could feel the burning starting to take over my entire head as it worked upwards.

"You're just saying that to ignore me again, Yoo-Ae," I heard him emit an exasperated sigh.  "Why are you avoiding me? I don't have the Bubonic Plague, I'm your best friend!"

I closed my eyes to try and bear with the rising level of blistering heat almost completely consuming my head.  "Leave now, there's a very good reason why you should go, believe me when I say that.  I'm not the same person I was before, I've changed too much."  Don't let it control you, swallow it down!  You know what will happen if you don't! the rational and sane part of my head was screaming at me, trying to keep some sense before I become completely consumed by madness.

"You're still the same person," he said softly.  "I don't know what I did for you-"

"You didn't do anything, Jin, it's my problem.  Now please leave," I pleaded, starting to sound restrained because of the blistering I was desperately trying to suppress.  My nails dug into the material of the couch and I started to shake visibly now.  My eyes were starting to flare up with heat.  I felt the flames eating up the little control and sanity I held.  I was almost completely gone.  No, keep fighting it, you can't let this happen to him! I tried to persuade and encourage myself.  I clutched at the spot where my curse mark was, the source of the fire, and breathed heavily as an attempt to at least slow it down.  But I couldn't do it, I wasn't strong enough to hold it back.

"Stop saying that!" he snapped.  "I know that's not true!" he proclaimed as he walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder to turn me around and face him.

And that was all it took before hell broke loose and took over.

In no reaction time at all, I turned around and lunged at him, propelling myself off the couch cushions and pushing him against the wall harshly.  I had become a completely new person; these actions were not mine, it was my possessor's personality that overtook me.  My body was simply a puppet and nothing more; a host for an alien force.  "I thought I told you to get out," I snarled, my voice sounding lower in pitch than normal, as if a demon was talking to drown out my voice.  I had no control at the moment over my body.  Anger had consumed me completely and left my head a terrible burning mess, almost as if there was a fire burning my brain to constrict the true me and allow my possessor take over.  My sense had drowned in the fire, I've lost.

Jin flinched at the sight of my now golden eyes.  "What happened to you, Yoo-Ae?" he asked feebly.

"I don't have time to explain, you should've taken your chance to leave before!" I screamed with the same vocal pattern.  My teeth were bared, showing the sharper canine teeth, while my hands were crushing his shoulders to the wall.  Whimpers and slight yelps of pain emerged from Jin's mouth.

The rational, loving side of me emerged from the burning pit at the sound.  I shut my eyes and pulled away from him, a groan passing my lips as I clutched my head in pain.  My teeth shrunk back to their original size and my eyes changed back.  I looked up at Jin to see what I had done.  I felt guilt and blame all over again just at the sight of it.  The burning had completely subsided, but watching Jin’s frightened expression staring at me made my regret overcome me instead.  It was like he was staring at a monster that he feared the most.  Then the realization hit me: I had almost killed him, I was the monster who had the thirst for murder.  I was what frightened him the most.

I hastily jumped back onto my original position on the couch and curled my knees up to my chest in a defensive position again.  "Now can't you see that I can't control myself?  Can't you see that I'm not me anymore?" I said softly.  "Can't you see that I'm cursed now?"

There was no answer.  He was dreadfully silent.  The tears started to form in my eyes.  I was afraid of showing him this, I never wanted him to see.  I never wanted to put him in danger while I was in that state.  I didn't want him to see the monster I had become.  But he dug his own grave because he asked for it, coaxing the feeling and not heeding my warning.  Now because of this, Jin would be too scared to be around me now.  This stupid curse will bring the one I love further away from me forever.  And it's all my fault.

"You're still in there," he finally spoke softly.  "I know you're in there even when all that happens.  I'm not giving up on you, Yoo-Ae."

"Why can't you see that I'm doing this to protect you?!" I stood up and faced him.  He flinched once because he thought I would attack him again, making my guilt slap me again.  He softened at the sight of my genuine sadness and pain amidst my rage.  "I don't want to hurt you, Jin, but I only have so much restraint.  This...This thing has control over me and I can't suppress it sometimes!  How can I take a gamble with being around you and possibly losing it, like I did now?" I screamed.  The tears built up in my eyes.  "I could've hurt you," my voice choked out softer.  "Or even worse, I could've killed you.  How am I supposed to live with the guilt and blame of killing you, let alone the depression of living without you?"

He looked broken when he saw a tear slide down my cheek.  He took a step towards me.

"Don't," I stepped back in warning and wiped my tears away.  "You can't do anything to me at this point.  There's no use in saying that it's going to be okay because it's not okay.  I'm a monster now.  I'm capable of anything, and I won't be able to live with the guilt if I kill you."

He didn't say anything.  His facial expression slowly changed into something that I couldn't read.  He walked towards me without a word, but I retreated in reflex.  No matter how many times I stepped back, he just took another advancing step.

"Seokjin, what are you doing?" I asked starting to get nervous.

"I can never just leave you alone," he spoke softly once he had me backed up in a corner and was just a few centimeters away from me.  For once this entire time, he saw how vulnerable I was feeling inside; all my fears and guilt had been lain out.  "You're too special for me to forget.  I want to help you get out of this."

"You can't do anything to save me, Jin, not anymore.  I'm too far gone at this point," I whispered regretfully, my heart clenching and beating fast.

"I would never give up on the girl I'm in love with," he whispered back.  "Even if you hurt me in the worst way possible, I just want to help you, or even just be with you."

He leaned closer to me.  Despite the tragic circumstances, my heart was beating a little faster hearing that he loved me.  If I wasn't in the situation that I was in now, I would have reciprocated his confession.  Then I realized what he was doing.  "Stop," I warned, bringing my hand up to his face and pushing him away slightly.  "We can't."

Jin grabbed my wrist slightly and brought it down.  He stared at me with darker eyes, and I could see just a hint of red outlining his irises before fading.  It made me a little scared until he leaned in closer to me.  "I know you want me, Yoo-Ae," he whispered dangerously close to my ear in a deep voice.  "Just let yourself have me."

I shivered internally when he said my name.  His lips were grazing the shell of my ear.  "You know I can't do that.  I can't risk it," I tried to keep my voice steady.

His lips latched onto my neck without warning.  Knowing what I would do, he held my wrists against my body.  He was kissing me softly with those gentle lips of his, it was such torture.  I could feel his breath coming shallow against my sensitive skin.  I bit back the urge to moan, shivering slightly.  Seeing that he was getting no response, he started traveling to the nape of my neck and the other side, trailing gentle kisses and nips all over my neck as he went along.  He was trying to find my sweet spot and I knew it even though my head wasn't working very well at the moment.

Being the sneak he was, he found it when I tensed up momentarily and gasped slightly.  Jin just stayed there, coaxing me to respond using tiny kisses and massaging that spot with his soft lips.  His teeth grazed the sensitive skin slightly and I finally squeaked.  He chuckled in victory before he continued teasing me sweetly, sometimes tracing his nose lightly across my skin.  He pushed his body against me and wrapped my wrists around his neck.  His hands found my waist, pressing his long fingers into my skin firmly, his touch was electrifying.  He brought ourselves closer to each other, trying to remove the minimal space between us almost in a desperate way.  He grinded his hips into mine lightly in a needy way, making me gasp.  He hummed in satisfaction at the slight friction.  His grip on my waist disappeared as he picked me up bridal style and carried me back to the couch.  My head dangled and he took advantage of that to kiss directly above my collarbone in the middle.  I swear I could feel the burn for a moment.

He set me down hastily, his lips never leaving my neck.  He climbed over me and positioned his leg right between mine, his knee dangerously close to my sensitive area.  I kept my hands around his neck.  I was deeply breathing from the lack of air I was getting.  I don't know why I wasn't talking him out of this and screaming at him to get out before I change suddenly.  I was so vulnerable that I could just kill him quickly right now since I had no self control or restraint at the moment.  I was too distracted by his hands moving my shirt up slightly at my waist and the exposed skin.  Burning shocks were sent through by body with every touch.

"Jin..." I moaned out softly.  My hands roamed his hair, pulling at the soft locks.

He pulled away to look me in the eyes, his nose touching mine and our panting breaths mingling.  His hair fell in front of his dark, half lidded eyes as he gazed at me hungrily.  I could still see the flash of the red outline in the dimness of the room.  His warm breaths came uneven out of his slightly parted lips and onto my skin as I shivered.  "Don't tell me to stop," Jin whispered huskily, sending more shocks through my body.  "I need you right now, you have no idea."  His hands came out from under my shirt and slid up my arm to take my hands out of his hair, leaving a trail of burning sparks on my skin.  "Just let me - No, let us - have just this one night together."  His fingers laced with mine, his face came so close to me that our lips were almost brushing together.  "Nothing should ruin it."

I wished that I could just kiss him already, his thick red lips look so deliciously tempting right now.  Jin brought his head up slightly as his hands flew to the top of my button down shirt eagerly.  His soft, burning touch caressed newly exposed skin slightly every time he slowly undid a button.  He was fumbling slightly, showing how carelessly needy he was.  I felt my body burning with anticipation, the urges taking over.  The next button he undid was enough to expose a corner of my mark.  I felt so high right now, I just needed him.  I brought his head down for me to kiss him slowly.

Until it hit me all at once.

My eyes snapped open, suddenly golden again.  Jin’s eyes widened and he quickly got up, cursing under his breath.  I sat up, feeling my teeth sharpen again.  No, stop!

“ing hell!” I screamed, noticing how my voice was fine.  But my head rushed with pain again.  I groaned and clutched my aching head.  I could feel how unstable my state was right now, I was between forms.  It was the worst pain I could ever feel in my life.  Everything was on fire, my burning heart pumping faster to overtake me completely again.  I won’t let you this time!

Bad idea.  I let out a bloodcurdling scream and fell to my knees.  “Jin, you have to leave before-” I gasped for a moment for catch my breath.  “-Before I lose control!”  I fell onto my side and curled into a fetal position.

He just stood there, confused and panicked.  “But-”

“JUST GO!” I yelled, looking at him with piercing golden eyes.  He ran out, not without sparing me a final look of pain before shutting the door behind him.

As soon as I heard the door shut, the pain completely subsided.  I was left in the most terrible aftershock, gasping heavily.  I didn’t even have the energy to roll myself back over properly.  The only thing in my vision was the flickering of the fire.  One of the sides was slowly recoiling away from the other.  Love, I thought.  I’ve let you down.  My vision was turning into a blur of colors as my eyelids drooped.  I knew I was completely spent, no doubt about it.

“ you, Lucinda,” I muttered.  And I swear I could hear faint laughter before I out.