***

 

It’s been a long time since Jongin went to Kyungsoo’s house. His legs were shaking, his hands were trembling, but still he rang the bell. Kyungsoo’s mother opened the door and was positively surprised at the sight of him.

- Oh my God! Look who’s here! - She said. - Jonginie, how long has it been?

- Hello, Mrs. Do! Can I come in? - He asked, politely.

- Of course! Er… - She hesitated. - Kyungie is busy at the moment. It might take a while before he’s ready to come down… Should I announce you’re here? Would you like a cup of tea? Please, sit, don’t be shy. Our home is your home…

- Thank you so much for your hospitality, but I really need to see Kyungsoo. I know everything… - Jongin said.

- Oh, you do? I thought he wanted to keep it a secret… - Mumbled Mrs. Do.

- I found out the worst way, believe me. Can I go up?

- Of course! Good luck… - She wished.

Every step Jongin was taking was consuming all the energy he had left. His heartbeat was uncoordinated, his respiration was unstable. How would he face the person he left behind for 8 long years?

The door was half-opened. He could see Kyungsoo through the gap. He was wearing a mask that somehow was connected to a little machine. His eyes were closed. Gently, Jongin entered the room. He pulled a chair and sat, quietly. After a few minutes, Kyungsoo opened his eyes and took off the mask. He was startled to see Jongin there, staring at him.

- What are you doing here? - He asked, while putting the mask aside.

- Sorry I’m late… - Jongin said.

Kyungsoo blinked.

- Yeah, you’re late… - He mumbled.

For the first time, Jongin started crying. His mind was blurred of memories, promises from the past, chatters of two young boys.

- Sorry I’m late… - He repeated. His voice was muffled by the tears.

Two tenuous arms involved him in a tight hug.

- Don’t cry, moron… - Kyungsoo asked. - I’m still alive…

Jongin held Kyungsoo’s arms around him. He didn’t want to let go.

- I want time to go back…

- I want time to stop. - Said Kyungsoo.

- Why haven’t you told me?

- What for?

- I could’ve stayed…

- That’s exactly why I haven’t told you. You wouldn’t even depart for London…

- I could’ve stayed here and study at Chonbuk…

- Do you think you’re smart enough to enter that university?

- I got into Royal, in London, didn’t I? - He teasingly said.

- Moron… - Kyungsoo replied, with a smile.

- How much time do you have left? - Jongin asked.

- 3 months, maybe… My feet are swollen, my legs are swollen, my neck and facial veins enlarged… Not to talk about my liver…

- What were you doing just now? - Jongin asked, worried.

- That was oxygen. It helps me to resolve the shortness of breath. - Kyungsoo explained. He sat on his bed. - I’m also taking medication, but for quite a while the effects are reducing.

- What does it mean? - Jongin asked, hesitantly.

- It means… - Kyungsoo sighed. - If I don’t get a compatible donator in time, I might die…

- No… - Jongin said, with a trembling voice. - Don’t die.

Kyungsoo took a deep breath.

- There’s nothing I can do. I tried to do my best at work, I tried to live wisely and I always helped people… I don’t have any regrets…

- Don’t you regret me? - Jongin inquired.

- You were the best thing that ever happened to me.

 

***

 

The night was warm. The boys had permission to go out and watch the stars. Jongin was very excited. He loves the night sky.

- Aren’t starts pretty?

Kyungsoo nodded.

- It always makes me think how small we are…

- Do you believe there’s life in other planets?

- I do! - He exclaimed. - Why would we be the only beings in such a huge place like the Universe?

- I don’t know… - Kyungsoo replied. - Jongin?

- Yes?

- When we die, even if we reborn in a different galaxy, let’s find each other.

- Okay.

- It’s a promise. - Kyungsoo requested.

- I will live a thousand times and I will live in a million of galaxies, until I find you.

 

***

 

- Do you still sing?

- Not anymore. I run out of breath very easily.

- When they find a donator, will you start singing again?

- If they find one… I will, I promise.

Jongin moved out, temporarily, to Kyungsoo’s place. When he learned Kyungsoo was taking care of his sick mother while working hard on his acting career, he wanted to help out. Because of his health condition, Kyungsoo had to give up on his new drama and let other actor take his place. His daily routines were now limited to resting, taking care of the garden and making supper for his mother. Every night, Jongin helped him with his medication and his oxygen therapy. It was getting hard for Kyungsoo to walk. Jongin has been unstoppable. After his exhausting days at work, he was still smiling and he was always kind to everyone.

- I want to hear you sing. - Jongin whispered. - From the bottom of your soul.

- Why do you keep doing that?

- Doing what?

- Filling my damaged heart with hope… - Kyungsoo said.

- I want to support your dream no matter what. - Jongin confessed.

- It’s too late now, don’t you think? I can barely breathe…

- I see you, singing on a big stage. The crowd is going crazy… - Jongin smiled.

They were both lying on the bed, with arms around each other and fingers wrapped. Kyungsoo’s head was resting on Jongin’s chest. He could hear his heart beating so clearly and strongly. Oh, how much he wished to be strong and healthy like that. How much he wished to live for a hundred years, growing older next to Jongin.

- I don’t want to die. - He whispered.

- You’re not going to die… - Jongin said, trying to comfort him. - Even if your body turns into dust, you will still be living inside of me. - He continued, kissing Kyungsoo’s forehead.

 

***

 

- What was that noise? - Kyungsoo asked, scared.

- I don’t know. - Jongin replied.

- Have we been caught?

- I hope not…

They waited for 10 minutes, trying to figure out if someone was around or if it was just a squirrel passing by. The awkwardness of the moment was so intense they blushed and sat next to each other, without saying a word. They stood like that for a moment until Kyungsoo finally broke the silence.

- I guess we shouldn’t do it…

- Yeah, we should probably stick to cuddling and stuff…

- Haha… Having in such a place like this, what were we even thinking, right?

- Yeah, right…

They stayed quiet again, for a moment. The birds were still singing. The breeze was still blowing. Only their minds were completely frozen.

- Jongin?

- Yes?

- Will you still love me even if I can’t give you pleasure? - Kyungsoo blushed.

- What? - Jongin laughed nervously. - We’re both men, it’s anatomically weird to make this look… natural…

- Is that so? - Kyungsoo mumbled.

Jongin turned his face to his shy boyfriend. He took him by the hand.

- I love you from who you are, not from what you can offer. Never forget that.

- I love you, Kim Jongin.

 

***

 

Two weeks passed. Kyungsoo’s condition was slowly getting better. They used to go out on weekends and have a walk by Apsan. Old memories were filling their hearts. Jongin was excited to be there again, after such a long time.

- Remember that tree? We had our first kiss over there.

- I remember. - Kyungsoo replied. - You were so straight forward back then… You used to kiss me, just like that, out of the blue.

- Spontaneously, you mean… Love should be like that, like the sun rising − spontaneous and warm.

Kyungsoo seemed to ignore him. He always did that when he was embarrassed.

- Right there, near that old temple, you danced for me, remember? God, it’s been ages since I last saw you dancing. You were so good! - Kyungsoo exclaimed, happily.

- I loved to dance. If I wasn’t a veterinary, I would probably be a professional dancer.

- And right here, right where we are standing, we had a huge fight, remember?

Jongin laughed out loud.

- It was because I saw you hanging out with a boy! - He stated. - My Kyungsoo should belong only to me! - He said, while pushing him closer.

- Stop that. - Kyungsoo nagged. - We’re no longer 18…

Jongin laughed. Kyungsoo turned around and stopped suddenly.

- Right there, over that rock, was when I cried when you departed… - He said.

Jongin’s face turned less happy by the sight of that place.

- That’s not a good place! We’re here to collect happy memories!

- Are we? - Asked Kyungsoo, suspicious.

- Yes. Let’s change the memory you have of it! - He said, while taking his hand and moving forwards that rock.

- What are you doing, Jongin? - Kyungsoo asked, puzzled.

- This rock is when we kissed for the first time, after I returned from London.

Jongin leaned forward and passionately left his feelings on Kyungsoo’s lips. This one was trying to resist to the kiss, but soon he gave up to the other one’s charm and let his feelings flow too.

- We’re getting old for this… - Kyungsoo muttered.

- We’re never too old for a Hollywood making out scene. - Jongin said, showing a mischievous smile.

- Do monks know you’re like this? - Kyungsoo asked, playfully.

Jongin giggled.

By the end of the day, they went home. It was a happy Saturday.

Kyungsoo put the pan on the stove and just when he turned around to get some vegetables, he had a cough attack. His mother hurriedly came over to see what was going on. Kyungsoo was having trouble breathing, he was starting to panic.

- Jongin! - Mrs. Do screamed. - Please, hurry!

Kyungsoo’s vision started to get fuzzy and he lost the strength on his legs. He remembers nothing.

 

***

 

Today was the day Kyungsoo was responsible for cleaning the classroom. Along with his classmates, they worked with enthusiasm and finished early. He was packing his stuff and was ready to leave. We looked out the windows and saw Jongin playing football with his friends. The sun enlightening his tanned skin, his hair shining with summer colours and his perspiration running down his face were, somehow, symbols that Kyungsoo fixed about him.

He went outside and waved at him, but Jongin was so focused on the game, he hardly noticed. Baekhyun, a boy from the same class as Kyungsoo, spotted him and asked him to go home together, since they live nearby each other.

The next day, Jongin was sulky and didn’t talk to Kyungsoo the whole day. They went to Apsan together, though. Kyungsoo was trying to figure out what happened to him to make him so upset, but Jongin didn’t even bothered to look at his face. Right in the middle of the park, Kyungsoo lost his temper.

- That’s it, what’s wrong with you today? - He snapped. - You’ve been avoiding me all day, are you going to tell me what happened?

Jongin turned around and faced him.

- Who was that guy from yesterday? - He asked.

- Who?

- The one you went home with.

- Are you talking about Baekhyun? He’s my neighbor… - He answered.

- You went home together…

- Yes. I tried to call you, but you were so focused on your stupid game… I actually waved.

- Do you enjoy walking home with him?

- What? - Kyungsoo asked, confused. - Well, he’s a nice person. What about it?

- Do you like him?

- Are you… Are you jealous? - Kyungsoo laughed.

- Don’t laugh! - Jongin shouted. - Do you like him or not?

- How dare you? - Kyungsoo inquired. - I’ve devoted my love life to you and just because I walked home with a boy you react like this… You’re being ridiculous.

Kyungsoo felt offended. Why did the person he loved the most doubt his feelings? He turned around and started walking back home. Jongin’s steps rushed towards Kyungsoo and he gave him a back hug. Kyungsoo stopped.

- Don’t ever leave me. - Jongin said.

- What are you doing? - He asked.

- I saw you waving at me…

- Then why didn’t you come?

- I wanted to see how long you would be waiting for me. - Jongin answered.

- You moron. - Kyungsoo said, while hitting him.

 

***

 

Kyungsoo opened his eyes. The “beep beep” sound of the machine woke him up. He looked around the strange room and found Jongin sleeping on a chair, next to him. His chest was hurting, so he let escape a painful moan.

Jongin woke up suddenly.

- Kyungsoo? Can you hear me? - He asked, worried.

- Yes… - Kyungsoo whispered through the oxygen mask. - Where am I?

- At the hospital… You had a cough attack and you fainted. - Jongin answered, with sorrow.

- Am I going to die now?

- You silly… Of course not. - Jongin replied. - They’ve found a donator…

Kyungsoo opened his eyes widely. He couldn’t believe it.

- What? - He asked, with teary eyes.

- It’s true! In a few hours you will have a new heart and lungs! - Exclaimed Jongin. - There’s still hope!

Kyungsoo started crying.

- I can live… More than just 26 years?

- Yes, you can! And you can sing now! Maybe you can join Chanyeol’s band…

Kyungsoo’s face was filled with pure happiness.

- We can live together for a hundred years now!

Jongin laughed.

- Yes we can. We can explore the rest of South Korea and we can save money and go to United States…

- United States? - Kyungsoo asked, confused.

- That’s right. We will get married there, remember?

Kyungsoo smiled.

- We are going to be so happy. No one can stop us now. - Jongin continued.

They spent hours talking about future plans. How many kids they wanted to adopt, how many pets they would have, where they would buy a new house, where would they live… They were so blessed for this miracle to happen. They were holding hands the whole time, only letting go when the doctors came to take Kyungsoo to the surgery room.

- Wait here for me. - Asked Kyungsoo.

- I love you so much. - Jongin replied.

 

***

 

Kyungsoo opened his eyes slowly. He was breathing so lightly he thought he was dead. His chest felt itchy.

- You need to rest for a long period of time. - The doctor said.

- When can I go home? - He asked.

- As soon as you stabilize.

- Where is Jongin? - He asked.

- Who’s Jongin?

- The person who was here with me before…

- Oh, that young man? He’s not here at the moment. Everyone went home for the time being.

 

***

 

Chanyeol came to pick Kyungsoo. He was so excited to see that his friend was sound and safe.

- Who would ever say you would survive to this, huh? - He commented. - You’re so damn lucky.

- I can’t believe it happened… - Kyungsoo said, with a big smile. - Where is my mother?

- She’s resting. I told her I would bring you home. Everyone worked so hard for this day, it’s the least I can do.

Kyungsoo smiled.

- Where is Jongin? - He finally asked.

Chanyeol didn’t answer.

- Chanyeol?

His face suddenly was so serious.

- I thought at this time you would’ve already noticed…

- Noticed what? - Asked Kyungsoo, confused and worried.

- He took 8 years… But he finally saved you.

Tears started rolling down Kyungsoo’s cheek.

- What are you trying to say?

Chanyeol didn’t answer.

Kyungsoo’s throat was being suffocated by an invisible force. He wasn’t sick anymore. What was this feeling then?

- Where. Is. Jongin. - He asked again.

Chanyeol stopped the car by the temple. Kyungsoo left hurriedly and went inside first. The monks were praying around a grave, with the name of Kim Jongin carved.

- What does this mean? - He asked.

Monk Gyatso stared at him.

- Jongin was the donator. 

Kyungsoo’s legs were suddenly weak and he fell on his knees.

- Tell me it’s not true…

- He’s breathing and pumping the blood of your body for you. - Chanyeol said.

- No… No! - Kyungsoo shouted. - He promised we would be together… Where is he now? Where is he?

Nobody answered.

Kyungsoo was so desperate, he stood up and disappeared.

 

***

 

The soft breeze was blowing. The cicadas were singing. The world was moving on. Jongin was very excited. He loves the night sky.

- Aren’t starts pretty?

Kyungsoo nodded.

- It always makes me think how small we are…

- Is there life in other planets?

- Yes! - He exclaimed. - Why would we be the only beings in such a huge place like the Universe?

- I don’t know… - Kyungsoo replied. - Jongin?

- Yes?

- When I die, even if I reborn in a different galaxy, let’s find each other.

- Okay.

- It’s a promise. - Kyungsoo requested.

- I will live a thousand times and I will live in a million of galaxies, until I find you.