"Eat your dinner," my mother said, watching me closely from across the table. I nodded and stuffed my mouth, Since she didn't work anymore, she was home all day, preparing a home cooked meal. I was happy though, it had been a while since the last time she cooked for me. The situation was foreign, but I was glad that the strange man was at work and not at home where we were. Every time he looked at me I felt a tremble travel through my spine, up and down. I hated him.

My mother seemed to be in a better condition today than a few days ago, but I didn't know what to think about that. The bruise on my face was still very dark and that's why I decided to keep limited contact with Jackson these past few days. If he knew about what happened, there was no doubt he would come to my house and try to set it right. I caught my mother glancing at my bruised face more than once, and she looked like she wanted to say something but she didn't. I tried my best to ignore her tired look, but it was difficult, knowing that there were so many unanswered questions between us. I wondered when she would talk to me about everything that was going on. I thought a lot about why my mother lost her job, but I was afraid to ask. When the plate in front of me was beginning to clear I swallowed hard and opened my mouth to ask my mother a question.

"Are we going to be okay?" I asked softly, I felt my mother's eyes on me and when I looked up at her I noticed how soft her gaze had become. She looked down and nodded her head a bit.

"We'll be okay. My," she paused and took a deep breath, "my friend is going to help us get through."

"Friend?" I asked softly, and she finally looked me in the eyes.

"That man who..." She swallowed, "that man who hit you. He has a good amount of money. He will help us." She sighed and stood up, leaving me staring at her. She gathered up our plates and went to the sink. I followed after her hesitantly.

"Who is he to you mom?" I whispered, afraid to get her angry, "Do you love him?" She turned to look at me and her expression seemed guarded.

"Kunpimook. I wanted to apologize for what he did to you, he shouldn't have hurt you." She sighed softly and I nodded. I wanted to ask her where her apology was at, if she felt any remorse for hurting me, but I didn't. My mother left my questions unanswered as she headed upstairs to her room. I watched her go, not understanding what she was planning in her head. I gently touched my face, feeling the soreness along my jaw and cheek. I walked up to my room, wanting to get somewhere safe before that man showed up again. He was staying with us, but I didn't want him to. It was an odd feeling being afraid in your own house, I didn't know if he would hurt me again. He was like a bomb waiting to go off and I didn't want my mom or me to be a victim of his wrath. I knew my mom was a strong woman and she wouldn't let him use violence against her. That fact didn't stop me from worrying though. I was still unsure of who that man actually was.

I was laying on my bed when I heard my phone's ringtone sound throughout my room. I rolled over and picked up my phone, glancing at the screen.

To: Bam

From: Jackson

Hey, haven't heard from you. I have a show tonight, so if you need something call me okay?

I sighed softly, texting back my short reply and telling him that I would. I was still excited for Jackson, despite everything that’s been happening lately. I was very happy, and ecstatic but still-its hard when I have my own problems to deal with. The past few days had been difficult, but somehow I got through them. I knew something was wrong when I started having sleeping problems. I knew it was probably because I was so nervous with that man who is now living with us. I’m just afraid is all, nothing like this has ever happened to me.

I knew somehow, these days everything would become one big blur. Something having to do with memories that don’t quite fit, or perhaps I would have problems remembering something. That happens when you try hard enough, you forget everything. Feeling numb, forgetfulness is a blessing after all. I have that feeling now, that something like this will happen and I don’t know how to stop it. It’s out of my reach, I can’t do anything.

I stopped caring, I think. Somewhere between getting hit by that man and the feeling of hopelessness that entered me. Somewhere between the time my mom lost her job and when I started to cry before sleep. Somewhere between Jackson leaving me for his dreams and me letting him. I think that’s when but I don’t really know. It’s hard to keep track of my feelings when they’re flowing out of me so quickly.