It was almost 8 pm when my phone beeped, signaling a new message, which I guessed was from Bam. I finished eating my ramen, then decided to check the message, it was a picture of Bam with the words : “Don’t stress Jackson, you’ll do great!” at the bottom. I smiled, my worries were washed away temporarily. There was something about that kid that just made me happy, thats why I was always with him. I cared about him a lot.

I typed a quick reply, then went to go get ready for tonight’s show.

…

To: Bam

From: Jackson

Thanks, see you in the morning. Do your homework, go to sleep early.

I frowned at the reply, Jackson was always worrying about me too much. Not only that, but I could tell he was nervous because he wasn’t acting silly or stupid like he always was.

“How am I supposed to sleep when I’m worried?” I talked aloud at the ceiling. I knew that tonight I would hardly be able to sleep.

To: Jackson

From: Bam

Yeah, yeah. Just make sure you dont mess up tonight :D

I sent the message then went upstairs to listen to some music to calm myself. I didnt want to call Jackson because I might knock off his concentration before the show, but i couldn’t help thinking about how Jackson is feeling right now.

“He must be nervous.” I started to talk to myself, like I had a habit of doing. I rolled onto my back and stretched out. I stayed like that for a few minutes until I heard the slam of a car door. My heart was racing, I ran to the window, hoping to see Jackson’s car out front. But it wasn’t Jackson, it was my Mom. Confusion washed over me and I went downstairs to meet her at the door.

I was confused but happy, I could finally tell her about what happened with Jackson. I became excited until she came stumbling in, and I closed the door after her. A familiar smell hit me in the face, it was the smell of alcohol and cigarettes. I sighed loudly, I knew my mom drank occasionally, but never this bad, and especially on a weekday. She must have had a bad day.

“Mom? Why are you home so early?” I asked her, she focused her eyes on me, then waved me off. I wasn’t expecting her for a few more hours, something must have happened.

“Did you drive here like that?” I asked her, and she rolled her eyes. She set her purse down, and threw off her jacket. “Did something happen at work?” She turned to me and slapped my face hard. It threw me off guard. This had happened once before too, about a year ago. But she promised to never lay a hand on me again. I watched her with shocked eyes, and touched my burning cheek. My eyes watered slightly, she huffed angrily and looked frustrated and annoyed. My mom did this sometimes, she would work too hard, drink, come home, get angry at me then sleep. It was a routine on bad days. She was a bipolar person when it came to drinking. One moment she would be angry and fuming, then the next moment she would be sad, sorry and depressed.

“Just shut up! I don’t have time for this right now, I’m going to sleep.” She pushed me out of the way and headed upstairs. When she was finally at the top of the stairs she hesitated, then turned around with tears in her eyes. “Kunpimook?” She asked softly, she was swaying where she stood. I ran up the stairs and grabbed her by the shoulders. “What’s wrong mom?” I asked, and made her sit down where she was.

My Mom cried for a few moments before finally telling me what was bothering her, “I lost my job today.” She sobbed into her hands and I felt a sting in my heart. “Why does this always happen?” She whispered.

“What do you mean? What happened?” I asked softly, and she shook her head.

“What am I gonna do?” She asked, and more tears streamed down her face. I felt like crying too, but I shook my head softly. I knew she didn’t want to talk about it right now so I led her into her room and let her sleep. I closed her door and stood there for a moment, there was a sad feeling in my chest. I felt like crying, but I didnt. There were so many questions I had in my mind.

I went to my room and grabbed my cell phone, I wanted to call Jackson, but I knew I couldnt. I sighed and decided to wait until the morning. I sat on my bed with a numb feeling in my chest, there were too many questions in my head, and I was filled with more and more worries. My face was throbbing and there were unshed tears at the corner of my eyes.

With a clouded mind and a bruised face, I fell into the most restless sleep I had ever had in awhile.

…

It was about 5 in the morning when I had woken up, it felt like I hadn’t slept at all. I waited in my bed for awhile just thinking about everything. If my mom lost her job, then there was no way to pay for my school, and everything else. It was way too expensive, all her savings would be gone in a few months.

I hid under my blankets, the cold morning air bit at my face. I didn’t get a text from Jackson yet. I wondered how the performance went, I didn’t want to bother him, so I didn’t send him a text. All I knew was that I needed him right now. He was probably still sleeping.

I rolled out of bed and went to get ready for school, Jackson would be here soon anyways. While I was brushing my hair I heard a car pull up in front of the house. I went downstairs to open the door and seen Jackson smiling widely.

“HEYYY-..whats wrong?” He asked, noticing the sad, tired look on my face. I went to hug him quickly and he stood there, hugging me back. “What happened?” He asked softly.

“My mom lost her job yesterday.” I whispered softly. He seemed confused, pushing me away from him so he could see my face.

“Why didnt you call me?” He asked softly,

I shrugged. “I didn’t want to throw off your concentration or distract you.” I stood back away from him and Jackson closed the door behind him. I noticed that he looked a little tired.

“You should have called me anyways.” Jackson told me, and he followed me upstairs to my room. I shook my head.

“I’m sorry.” I said, and Jackson smiled.

“Don’t worry about it. Do you wanna skip school today?” Jackson asked me and I shook my head, I didn’t want to take school for granted anymore.

“How did your performance go?” I asked Jackson, and he seemed to understand that I didn’t want to talk about my situation.

“It was amazing! There was so many people there and the crowd was so loud and crazy. I think I did pretty good. Everyone seemed to like it.” Jackson chuckled and i smiled softly. I just wished I could have gone and watched him. These days my life seemed to be getting worse and worse.

“That’s great.” I said, I tried to be enthusiastic about it, I really did, but I couldnt. Jackson seemed to notice.

“Hey, are you sure you’re gonna be okay today?” He asked, and I nodded. There was silence, while Jackson was watching me with a knowing look. I shook my head and tears immediately poured out of my eyes. I sat next to Jackson, and he held me for a bit.

“It’s my mom, Jackson. She hit me again.” I whispered in a broken voice. Jackson looked angered, just like the last time, when I told him. He finally noticed the light shade of purple on my cheek. He sighed softly.

“You’re not going to school today.” He said firmly. I shook my head angrily.

“No Jackson, I’ll be fine. Its nothing really, she doesn’t mean any harm. She was drunk.” I stood up and went to grab a tissue from the nightstand.

“She shouldn’t be drunk in the first place!” Jackson yelled and I shrunk back away from him. He sighed, but pulled me into a hug. “She should be taking care of you.” He whispered. “You’re staying at my house until your mom figures her situation out.” Jackson said, and I agreed with him.

“Good. Now finished getting dressed, I’ll be downstairs.” Jackson kissed my head, then slammed my door shut. I shook my head softly. I really didn’t want to go to school, but my mom would be angry if I didnt.

It was terrible, feeling this way, I should be feeling happy for Jackson and celebrating with him, but of course my own selfishness had to ruin it for him.

I’m such a selfish person, and a terrible best friend.