unfortunately, this chapter is un-beta'd

He goes to university in the first break making sure that his tutor would be available to talk. His knuckles burned under the sleeves of his trusty but worn bomber jacket. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as he thought it was going to be. Maybe everything would be absolutely fine and there was nothing to worry about. What if Kris was here? That’d be really awkward. He keeps his head down as he swiftly walks through the halls.

When he knocks on the office door, she greets him pleasantly, with a warm, charming smile and Chanyeol feels immeasurably guilty (and he’s not really sure why). They sit down across the table in much the same way they did last time. Chanyeol stares at his shoes and the laces which he messily tied together. Mrs. Choi watches him and he’s reminded why he hates teachers. They always make him feel small.

“Chanyeol, I had a look at your essay — it’s good.” She smiles brightly and he looks up at her in disbelief. Mrs. Choi wouldn’t lie to him but he can’t believe it’s the truth. He did okay — he did good. “But, if you want to pass, you have to attend classes.”

His brows knit in annoyance which causes his head to sting because of healing wounds. He’s angry but he understands. He’s just not sure how to deal with it. He doesn’t know anyone in his class, and he doesn’t really want to know anyone. “We can go slow, no need to rush things,” She explains softly, like he might have a breakdown or something. His fingers twitch, yearning for a cigarette between them. “And if you need someone to talk to…” She trails off after Chanyeol’s glare. He’s not some depressed emo kid having suicidal thoughts. He’s just… Just… What is he? The teacher sighs and straightens up. “How about Monday afternoon next week. Just slip in and see how it goes?”

He can’t really argue with that so he nods and mutters okay. His agreement makes her smile. “Great! I think you’ll really benefit from a few classes. It’s vital we can get your attendance up before the end of the term, okay?” He nods again. He’s an adult now, he can do this; it’s not such a big deal. What’s the worse that could happen anyway? No-one knows who he is. He is completely anonymous and safe. She ends things brightly and smiles sweetly and he’s starting to feel a little better. It’s only when he’s outside inhaling tobacco that he feels calmer. The redhead has five minutes of serenity before his phone buzzes.

from: unknown number

Hello Chanyeol, it’s Joonmyun.

I’ve wired you the money, don’t spend it all! Only joking. You have a match tonight, make sure to be there.

He sighs and stubs out his cigarette, wondering for a second how on Earth did Joonmyun get his number?

☄

There’s an insistent knock at his door which wakes him up. He didn’t even realise he had dropped off, but the video game he had been playing informs him that he’s died and it’s game over. He mourns his now lost progress before turning off the console and answering the door. Chanyeol thinks maybe he’s dreaming for a second because Kris is stood on the other side looking a bit haggard.

“You don’t know how many times I’ve embarrassed myself knocking on the wrong apartment! You’re really hard to track down, you know?” Chanyeol stares at him in complete disbelief. What? Why is Kris here? What is even the time? Chanyeol hates napping and waking up finding the world a different place. Well it always feels like a different place.

“Kris…”

He grins full of gums and if this is dream, Chanyeol doesn’t wake to wake up. “Yeah, can I come in?” The redhead steps aside, rubbing his eyes free of sleepydust. Seeing Kris in his apartment in odd. He’s far to big for the tiny space and considering Chanyeol’s quite tall, that’s something.

“I’m not judging, man, but you need to tidy,” Is what Kris says as soon as he steps foot into the living room slash kitchen. Chanyeol just punches his shoulder as he passes him, heading to the cupboards in search of something to eat.

“Can I get you something? Coffee?” He doesn’t really have much at the moment. Stocking his cupboards had been low on his list of things to do since he didn’t have a lot of money. That’s changed now of course. Now he can buy the good stuff to make delicious food. Never mind that he’s not a great cook. Kris remains quiet so Chanyeol carries on finding something to eat.

“What happened to you?” Chanyeol turns in surprise at the question finding Kris a lot closer than he expected, his thick eyebrows drawn together in examination.

“Huh?”

“You’re all covered in bruises and bandages again.” His stomach plummets to his feet and his throat closes up. He had forgotten he was in a simple t-shirt and old shorts, exposing his injuries. Bandages weave their ways up his arms and there’s a few plasters and bruises on his legs. There’s purple around his left eye and a dull vermilion at the corner of his lips. He’s frozen, his lips tremble in an attempt to answer but he can’t, drawing a blank at any sort of response. “Are you in some kind of trouble? What…?”

Kris lifts Chanyeol’s covered wrist finding the sore, red knuckles and looks to Chanyeol with such a serious expression.

But he can’t tell him. He can’t. He doesn’t want Kris to leave him again after becoming his friend again.

“It’s nothing, hyung. Some kids just jumped me.” He snatches his wrist away, turning away from the older guy.

“You were mugged?!” How can he deal with this? What should he do? Kris doesn’t let things go easily.

“Don’t worry. I’m fine, hyung, see.” Chanyeol turns and grins widely and brightly, ignoring the throb from his sore muscles. Kris doesn’t look convinced.

“Chanyeol…” The kind tone with which he says his name has Chanyeol feeling awful. He feels suffocated.

“Hyung, just — Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.” He storms off toward his bedroom, suddenly not hungry anymore. The other man trails after him.

“You’re clearly not. This isn’t the first time is it?” The redhead ignores him as he scours through his wardrobe for something suitable to fight in. “I’ve seen you like this before — what’s going on?!”

He bites out ‘nothing’ as he throws off his shirt in favour of another one. “It’s not nothing clearly. Look how upset you are.”

Chanyeol snorts. Kris doesn’t know anything, least of all Chanyeol himself. “I don’t want any trouble, okay. So drop it. I’m completely okay.” After changing his shorts, he pulls on his favourite bomber jacket, glaring at Kris from across the room. Kris glares back, trying to read him. In that moment, Chanyeol internally promises Kris that this won’t be forever. Maybe he’ll be able to tell him one day. Then he steps past the taller and strides to the frontdoor.

“I’m going out now so you should go home.” He ties up his laces and waits for Kris at the door. There’s another minute of Kris watching him, dissecting him with his eyes before he sighs and walks past him and out of the apartment. When Chanyeol walks out of the apartment block and onto the street, Kris is nowhere to be found. He lights up a cigarette, breathing in the calm it brings. Lifting the stick to his lips, his fingers tremble. If he thinks about it for a minute, he can remember the touch of Kris’s lips underneath his. It makes him shiver in the chilly night and he walks that bit faster to the Exo Pit.

☄

Chanyeol is up against this kid called Kai, who apparently has been making waves in other clubs (wherever they might be). He’s confident at first. The kid is short and compact, nothing too hard. But he isn’t expecting it. Despite his relatively small build, he packs a punch that has Chanyeol reeling. It creates the perfect opening for Kai to launch an assault of flying kicks and hooks that look like a dance in Chanyeol’s blurred vision. The next thing he knows is the ref counting down at declaring Kai the victor. Chanyeol is ing pissed to say the least.

He barely bothers to clean and tend his wounds afterwards, determined to get out of there as fast as he can. He doesn’t want to stick around and get spat on because some sweaty pigs lost out on some money thanks to him. But it’s salt in the wound when he sees Sehun hanging off the Kai kid in the corner of the locker room like he’s God or something. It figures really, he guesses. Sehun’s clever and shallow enough to only stay with the strong. If Chanyeol had won, he’d be fighting the blonde off. Kai looks happy enough though, the er. Chanyeol wishes them well mentally before leaving.

Yeah right.

He hopes they both rot.

It’s a cold night and the redhead is feeling a million things at once. He kind of wants to cry. It’s not the first time he’s lost but tonight, he’s lost more than a fight in the ring. With a shiver, he fishes out his phone and sends a text without thinking.

to: Kris-hyung

I’m sorry hyung