My head was swinging like one of old grandfather clocks. Funny, I didn’t remember falling asleep. My eyes felt like dirt was pressing down and keeping them shut. I struggled to open them, only managing bleary progress. I my lips, discovering moisture hard to find within my mouth. I opened it, only to whimper like a poor, blind, newborn puppy. 

“We’re almost home,” Minseok murmured.

“Min—” I felt skin against skin at my back and realised Minseok was holding me in his arms. The last thing I remembered was heading to the club because…

“…’me go,” I muttered, willing my arms to move upwards.

“Come on Fred, you didn’t struggle the whole way. I just have two more flights and we can resolve this,” Minseok sighed out loud.

“Luc—eeee,” I screeched hoarsely but barely above a whisper.

Minseok stopped climbing the stairs. He stood there, without tiredly shifting me in his arms. “That’s why we’re going to my place. You sleep better in my bed.”

He was right. I realized I was safe and turned to rub my head into his chest. “…’smell like home.”

“You smell like alcohol,” Minseok shot right back.

“Liar,” I snarled gently. 

I was hefted and settled on my feet. Minseok put a hand on my hip and the other on my shoulder to steady me. His eyes settled on my soul. “You need to sleep tonight.”

“And tomorrow?” I opened my heart for pain. I knew the answer.

“Tomorrow you go visit Lucy. Then you go back to working. Your life is still important.” 

I laughed drunkenly in his face. “I’m not going back to that place! We get a check from Mom’s pension. I’ll be able to survive on that now that Lucy is—” I hiccupped, not sure if it was from my drunk state or the sadness that seemed to well up and want to escape.

Minseok shook his keys enthusiastically. “Well, I have to work still. So can we please go inside and sleep?”

“Yes sir,” I saluted and marched into Minseok’s apartment. Or that was the plan. What ended up happening was Minseok encircling my waist from behind so I didn’t fall on my . 

I shook my leg, attempting to dislodge the offending heels. I stopped when Minseok’s hands traveled down my calves and removed them for me. “How many times am I going to do this?”

Without the shoes stealing away my steady form, I could manoeuver towards the bedroom, free to make my own choices. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop coming after me?”

Minseok’s eyebrows knitted together in pure frustration, “I can’t let you run around the city, drunk and easily susceptible to some ’s temptations!”

“His name was Daehyun and we were just talking,” I grumbled, happy when palms found Minseok’s comforter. 

“There is no ‘just talking’ with Daehyun,” Minseok shouted from outside the bedroom, removing his toque and cutely shaking his head when static zapped from the motion.

I shimmied out of my tight jeans. Suddenly I longed to just sleep with one of Minseok’s shirts and cuddle into the sheets that smelled like the hint of his shower gel and the musk that was purely his own. “There’s all kinds of talking. Just not all of it with our mouths.”

“Do you really have to—GOD WHY DIDN’T YOU—” 

I froze, still halfway acting out my previous plan. “I thought you were staying out because you knew I would get undress. What’s your problem?”

I finished pulling the shirt over my head and snuggled into Minseok’s bed. “I wasn’t expecting to see your body like that.”

I scoffed at his words. “How many times have we gone swimming? You’ve seen everything my mother gave me. ‘Bout the only thing other than the steady income.”

“Winifred!” Minseok didn’t have to scold me. My ears burned from the disappointment  dripping in his voice. Lashing out because I was hurt was my specialty.

“Sleep with me tonight,” I begged Minseok.

“I can’t,” Minseok’s shoulders sagged but he kept his back to me still.

“I’ll sleep better,” I beseeched him, only looking to comfort myself.

“I won’t,” Minseok said in a raspy voice.

“Min—”

“Good night Fred,” Minseok’s timbre shook with a tight throat. I had affected him this evening. I was always being a negative aspect to his life

“Good night Minseok.” I hugged a pillow to my chest, pretending it was Minseok’s back. Didn’t he know I went out to drink to forget not only that my little sister was in a mental institution because my mother committed suicide, but I drank to forget that the one person I loved felt like he had to protect me from the world and from himself. He would look after Lucy and I, and never take a step farther than that; that would make him taking advantage of me. But he didn’t know that in my heart, he was already the one reason I never went home to continue to forget with those boys in the clubs. He was the one I waited to go home with.