a/n:
is the story too angsty??
I don't know anything but angst! XD XD XD
this chapter is the main part. You might get rid of your confusion here.
i don't do beta-ing and stuff, forgive me for wrong english and story getting side tracked.
And Please DO comment.
thank you~
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Onew never expected of hearing those words from Jonghyun, much less imagined. So when the question was thrown to him, his mind went insanely blank- not able to comprehend any form of answer, not even a shake of his head.
 

But the problem is, Onew did not know himself he was double timing-until now. Jonghyun's words had him crashing down on truth.

No, he wasn't double timing Jonghyun with Joon. Joon is his hyung, a best friend from other band. They share their worries which they don't want to reveal to their band mates- be it silly or important- they've known each other in years. And being two Idiots, they are like brothers.

But Minho was different. Both Onew and Minho admitted they had feelings for each other a long time ago and even had been going on for few weeks. But decided to call it off because it was risky, and neither Minho nor Onew were ready to take the risk that time- they were young. So they have tried to move on in their lives, not letting any of the band members know about them.
But sometimes, they do miss each other; miss receiving love more than brotherly love. That's when they have some private time, cuddling, kissing, anything- to feel full again. But neither of them took another step forward, still being cowards.

That's also when Jonghyun started noticing Onew. He wanted to open up the mysterious Onew he saw. He started making out the difference between his fake and real smile. So in hopes of finding Onew more, he got close to Onew, more than just a work mate, more like a best friend. And Onew had welcomed him, even given back what he had been giving.

Eventually, after months of complete trust, Onew had open up to him. But that had Jonghyun realize he had fallen for Onew. He tried to push the feelings to the back of his mind, but he had fallen too deep.
Jonghyun had revealed about his feelings to Key, who had almost expected it.
And Key had spoken to Onew, which resulted in him avoiding Jonghyun.
Jonghyun couldn't go being back to being band mates with Onew after being more, so he had confessed Onew.
And Onew had agreed to give him a chance-courtesy of Key.

Jonghyun was the first one to say he loves Onew, he was sure of his feelings towards him. But it had been Onew, still confused, vary and in denial who replied with "I care for you, Jonghyun" every time Jonghyun said "I love you, Onew". Jonghyun had given him time and space and respected Onew's delay. He had trusted Onew to no end.

But Onew still couldn't brush off Minho. Onew had Jonghyun to lean on but Minho didn't have any one.
So He decided on sealing off his heart while helping his two bad mates. This had been wrong because he treated feelings as a mere responsibilities.

Things had gotten messy after one time when Onew returned from a late night schedule and Minho had broken down in front of Onew about his changing feelings for Taemin. Onew was quick in consoling with soothing words and caressing Minho's hair while hugging him despite the slight pang of hurt in his heart. Later, it had turned to kissing- a friendly one, no tongue no teeth, just soft pairs of lips- but Jonghyun had caught them and caused a ruckus.
All of this got into Onew's head- the lingering feelings for Minho, the schedules, the leader duties and fear of losing Jonghyun- resulting in him becoming unconscious.
But had regained conscious soon with the Doctor reassuring the members he was fine.

Onew still felt the dorm atmosphere thick with tension the next morning even after clearing things up with Jonghyun and Minho the previous night, so he decided to take leave from everything. To which Jonghyun had plead (begged) him on staying, but he had run away, mind set on becoming selfish for once.
Jonghyun stopped reaching out to Onew once he came to know things were fine, but the empty hole left by Onew became bigger each passing day which he tried filling with liquor, passing out while getting carried back dorm by the manager, breaking down on looking at Onew's photo, and passing out again out of pure exhaustion resulting on skipping his meals.

Something changed in Jonghyun after that, he had turned paranoid, trusting Onew less, demanding more time with him, afraid of losing him like he did those two weeks. Hence turning into a jealous, possessive boyfriend.