Flash of Truth

Jennie could be kind of cold. She wanted to be like the other girls with whom she would soon debut. They were funny and friendly, always gracious. Sometimes, when Jennie realized she was being cold around them, she would try to force a smile, but cheerfulness always felt like an act. Coldness came naturally.

That is, until she met V.

Usually, when people noticed how standoffish Jennie was, they either distanced themselves or outright ignored her, as if she wasn’t even there. But V wasn’t like that. He didn’t change around her. He was his usual weird self no matter what, always goofing around and making everyone laugh. It was like he didn’t even notice the coldness and instead saw some warmth in her that she didn’t even know she had, that only he seemed to be able to see. She didn’t understand it, but somehow, his infectious personality melted her, exposing that inner warmth. She felt human around him, normal. But it never lasted. As quickly as she transformed in his presence, she just as quickly transformed back when he was gone.

She began dating him last year, believing that if she spent enough time with him, she would eventually become the happy person he brought out in her, but the coldness never seemed to subside. This made her angry. She knew that it wasn’t his intention to toy with her, but that’s what it felt like, as if he was offering her a gift and letting her experience the wonder of seeing it for just a moment before immediately taking it back. She hated that he had ownership of this gift and could only offer her glimpses of happiness.

When Yang Hyun Suk confirmed that she would debut with the new girl group he was assembling and presented her with a tentative contract, she read the clause stipulating that she wouldn’t be allowed to date and saw this as her excuse to end her relationship with V. It would be easier to blame the breakup on something external like the contract rather than on these complicated internal reasons, which she could barely admit to herself, much less try to verbalize to V.

Because she couldn’t admit the truth, she convinced herself that the contract was in fact the real reason why she was going to break up with him. It wasn’t difficult to convince herself of this. She had been dreaming about debuting for years, and now that it was within her grasp, she intended on doing whatever she had to do to stay on that course to stardom. Her secret relationship with V was a threat to her dream, and she needed to extinguish that threat as soon as possible.

She texted him a few days earlier and told him to book a hotel room for tonight so that they could meet in private. As she entered the lobby of the hotel now, she wondered why he had agreed so quickly without any questions. They had never met in a hotel before. Surely he must have wondered about this. But that was just like him, she thought. Always doing what she said no matter what. She had only suggested a hotel room because she had assumed that they could talk privately there without anyone disturbing them, but she realized now that V may have assumed otherwise, perhaps thinking that she wanted to be intimate with him. She hoped that this wasn’t the case. She was about to break his heart. The pain would be that much worse for him if he was waiting in the hotel room with inflated expectations.

She pulled her hood lower on her face and adjusted her sunglasses as she made her way through the lobby, hoping not to be recognized. Ever since YG released teaser photos of the new girl group, she hadn’t been able to walk freely in public anymore. She normally liked the attention, but that was the last thing she wanted now. If anyone saw her in this hotel with V, she’d have to deal with a major scandal. Having already experienced what it felt like to have bad press when the rumors that she was a bully began to spread online, she hurried now through the lobby toward the elevator, anxious to get to the privacy of the room before anyone spotted her.

When the elevator arrived on the fourth floor, she instantly heard music. Even though it was muffled, she recognized it immediately as the BTS song “Boy in Luv.” She winced as she began walking down the hallway, praying that the music wasn’t emanating from their room. A young couple walking from the opposite end of the hallway stopped midway and seemed to glance at the door to one of the rooms, likely spotting the source of the music, but then they continued on and passed right by Jennie, much to her relief.

The music was indeed coming from their room. Jennie knocked hard on the door, angry that V wasn’t as concerned as she was about keeping a low profile.

As soon as he opened the door, the chorus of the song, with its loud beat, flooded out. Say what you want, say what you want…

“Turn that down,” Jennie said, as she pushed V into the room, took off her sunglasses, and quickly closed the door behind her.

V smiled and flung a towel over his bare shoulder. He was dripping wet and was wearing only a pair of jeans with the top of his boxer shorts hanging out. “I wanted to listen to something while I showered,” he said, as he shut the music off. He leaned forward then to kiss her on the cheek.

Jennie tried to resist but he looked so cute with no shirt on and all wet like that. She could already feel her ice melting. But now was when she needed that coldness the most, she thought. She had to remain strong and not let him cast that spell over her like he always did. “We need to talk,” she said, gesturing him over to the bed. “Come sit down with me.”

“Wanna see something first? I was practicing this dance in the shower. Check it out.” V threw the towel down and then ran his hands through his wet amber hair as he began slowly rotating his hips. Then he flung his arms out to the sides and threw his head back, letting his pelvic area lead him forward in an endless gyrating motion.

Jennie covered her eyes, trying not to die of embarrassment from seeing his overtly ual dance. “Ai, stop!”

V laughed in that cute soft laugh of his. “Yeeheehee.”

Every time he laughed like that, Jennie crumbled just a bit. She cleared now, trying to regain her composure. “Oppa, come sit down. Seriously.” She patted the bed next to her.

V dove headfirst onto the bed beside her and then rolled over onto his back. He fluffed the pillows and now patted the bed beside him for her to lie next to him instead.

“I want to sit,” she said, trying not to let her stern expression crack.

V sat up, moved closer to her on the bed, and stared at her with that blank expression he sometimes wore. “What’s wrong?”

“We need to break up,” she said, emotionless. “I’m not allowed to date. It’s in my contract.” She didn’t mean to blurt it out like that but her coldness had taken over.

He continued to stare at her, his face blank and his mouth agape. “You’re breaking up with me?”

She breathed in deeply and looked away, unable to face him.

“Why are you so willing to just give up on us?” he asked.

“There’s nothing I can do. It’s my contract.”

“You can talk to Hyun Suk-ssi. He’s a good guy. If you just told him about us, he’d understand–”

“No,” she abruptly said, still looking away. “You know how many girls want the opportunity I have right now? I’m not about to throw that all away.”

“But… but you’ll throw me away?”

She didn’t answer. The quiet of the room in that moment was suffocating.

“Why are you really breaking up with me?”

“What?” She turned to face him now, confused by his insinuation that there was something other than the contract driving her decision.

“I don’t believe you,” he said. “The contract… that’s just an excuse. If you really loved me, you’d at least talk to Hyun Suk-ssi. You’d do something, anything, to try to make this work.” He slumped forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he clasped his hands together under his chin and closed his eyes. “So I guess you don’t really love me.”

Jennie lifted her head high and breathed in deeply. “I guess not,” she said. She didn’t know if that was entirely true, but her words had escaped before she could stop them. She took another deep breath in, realizing that some sick part of her liked hurting people. It made her feel stronger. But she was surprised that she had chosen to hurt V. He had always brought out the goodness in her. “I better go,” she said, suddenly standing.

V didn’t try to stop her. He still sat slumped over, his head in his hands.

She walked over to the entranceway and pulled open the door, but she paused then at that open door, realizing that if she left, if she really just gave up on what she had found with him, that the goodness inside her would truly be gone. When she turned to look back at him one last time, she saw that he had begun walking toward her. She continued holding the door open, not ready to leave but not willing to stay.

At that moment, two young girls who had been walking down the hall passed by their room and, noticing the open door, naturally glanced inside. They nearly stumbled over each other when they saw a shirtless V walking to the door and then stared in shock at him and Jennie together in that hotel room doorway. One of the girls quickly raised her phone up and took a picture, capturing everything in a single flash.