His feet finally stopped about a mile and a half from Lay’s house. It was an elementary school, not the one he’d gone to but still a local one. And they had a nice playground.

    He took up residence at the bottom of the slide, laying back on his backpack and staring at the stars. He let himself cry finally, tears openly streaming for the first time in years. He heard something fly into the fence and jerked his head upwards at the sound. A soft thud followed by another little groan could be heard, and Luhan jumped up to rescue the little thing he knew had followed him all the way here.

“Minseok??? Minseok are you okay oh man you probably scraped your knee, why’d you have to climb the whole thing, there’s a gate on the other side you know- wait why’d you even follow me, HOW’D you even follow me, you never ran very fast in elementary school and-”

Luhan stopped when he noticed the smaller boy was sobbing. He sat back on his heels, unsure of what to do in this situation, and a little bit unsure that any of it was even happening.  

    Eventually, he came to the conclusion that Minseok was really here and really in need of an explanation. He scooped him up and carried him back to where he was previously on the slide, sitting him down on his lap and his hair. Minseok clung to his shirt and sobbed, leaving him at a loss for words.

I’m stupid. I’m actually so stupid. I am so stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid.

“Why would you do that to yourself,” Minseok finally broke the silence and his words came out as tiny gasps.

Luhan was a bit hesitant in his explanation. “It was something to do, a way to be close to people…”

“When you left, I was all alone. I never made any friends. Apparently I’m pretty enough to be someone’s and it just kind of spiralled out from there. I had no one and it was an excuse to pretend like maybe someone cared about me? I don’t know. That sounds really stupid.” He rested his chin on top on Minseok’s head.

“It is stupid, actually. They all called me pretty, told me they loved me. They had only been with me for a few hours.” He barely managed a laugh. “I don’t know. You probably know what it’s like to really love someone. You probably met a nice girl, went out on real dates, had fun. Neither of you paid each other for the other’s company. I’m jealous.”

Minseok clutched onto Luhan’s shirt even tighter and managed a sentence between sobs.

“I’m a . I’ve never even kissed a girl.” he explained softly. “I don’t even want to know that you’ve done it.”

Luhan flopped back and hit his head against the slide.

They sat there for what felt like hours, counting the amount of time’s the other’s heart had beaten and lacing their fingers together.

“I’m sorry.”

“You had nothing to do with any of it.”

“I know.”

Luhan reached over and held Minseok’s chin between his fingers. And he kissed him. He kissed his best friend, the person he had missed for years and the person he had kissed once before behind the fence at school so many years ago. Minseok kissed him back. Their limbs were tangled together and their hearts were beating faster than they could ever remember them beating and they couldn’t breathe but Luhan had wanted to kiss him like this for so long and oh god, he had missed him so much. Minseok’s tiny hands had found their way around Luhan’s neck, and were timidly petting his hair. Luhan was pretty sure he was going to die.

    They broke away, gasping for air. It was about 11:00 in an elementary school playground and oh my god what the just happened. “I’m so sorry I’m- I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’ll go oh my god this is my fault I never should’ve-” Minseok broke his words off with another kiss. His lips were warm and he tasted faintly of cinnamon, the same cinnamon scent that loitered around him wherever he went. He was soft and his waist fit in Luhan’s hands perfectly, he could feel how hot his cheeks were against his own and he knew if they could see each other right now, they would laugh at how pink they were. Luhan was happy, probably happier than he’d been in years and years. When they separated again, Minseok just laid down on Luhan’s chest and closed his eyes.

“I think you’re beautiful, Luhan. I think you’re more beautiful than anyone I’ve ever seen in the world.”

They sat there, Luhan’s hands wrapped around Minseok’s waist, wondering if things were going to change.