"I'm nervous," he says, turning to face me. "I'm quite literally shaking, Chaerin. Why am I shaking?"

        I stand up from Hyukkie's bed and take his hands in mine. "Don't be nervous, Oppa," I smile. It's going to be fun, I'm sure. It will be different, yes, but exciting. You'll be fine. I've been to a couple of shows before and worked behind the scenes. I'll be there."

        "I feel a little bit better, then . . . " he trails off. "Will you be near me backstage the entire time?"

        "I can try. I asked to come, even though I'm not really needed."

        "Noona! Abeoji! Dara noona is there where the show is going to be and wants to know what's taking so long."

        "We'd better go," I laugh. "Do you have everything?"

        "I think so," he says slowly.

        I lead him out of his room, turn off the light, readjust my bag, scoop up Hyukshin, and we drive to the theater for the show. Hyukshin holds out his hands to be picked up after I park the car, and his dad kneels down to let him get on his back. Hyukshin buries his nose into the nape of his neck and wraps himself around his torso. I check in with the receptionist and find the room where Sajangnim and a few of our other models are waiting.

        "You're here," she says, standing up. She looks past me and smiles gently at the nervous man behind me.

        "Don't worry. You'll be fine. You'll know me, Chaerin, Jonghyun, Dara, Hyukshin, and a few other of our models. It'll be ok, Lee Hyuksoo."

        I pick up a program and hand it to him. "Maybe this will help," I offer. "Staring at your name printed officially on a document is special. It says, 'You made it. You did something cool. You're a cool kid.' Maybe that's just me."

        He takes it with a small smile. "Thanks, Chaerin."

        I nod. Hyukshin wants me to carry him now. I take him from his dad and put him on my hip, leaving kisses all over his little face. He wraps his arms around my neck and rests his head on my shoulder. I rub circles into his back and rock back and forth. I dance around a bit and he giggles, humming a song for me to dance to.

        I receive a tap on my shoulder. "We need to go this way," Hyukkie smiles.

        I follow him to his assigned dressing room. He clutches his bag to his chest as he pushes open the door. I put my hand on his thin shoulder and massage it. He relaxes a bit.

        The other men in the room are even bigger and taller than Hyukkie. The talking stops and every head swivels in our direction. Hyukkie backs up a bit and steps on the toe of my sneaker.

        "It's ok," I whisper. "You're ok."

        The talking resumes, but a bit quieter. Hyuksoo puts his bag on the floor beside the makeup chair with his name on it. One of the guys gets up and walks over to him.

 -Hyuksoo POV-

        I put my stuff down by my chair and start to sit down. One of the other models zooms over and rests his arm on the makeup desk.

        "Hi," he says in English, smiling brightly.

        I look up at him surprisedly and quickly stand up. Should I bow? What do I say? What if I can't understand him at some point? Where's Rinnie?

        "Hi," I finally say. My accent is too thick, I know.

        "I'm Antony," he says, holding out his hand.

        I have to shake his hand now. Shake firmly, and don't be awkward.

        I shake his hand. He smiles again.

        "I am Hyuksoo. Nice to meet you."

        "Likewise. You can sit down, if you were going to."

        I laugh nervously. "Ok."

        "You're nervous, aren't you?" His sharp hazel eyes are soft and kind. "First show?"

        "Yes," I say slowly. "It is my first show."

        "Don't stress out, ok? It'll be fun. And I'll be here if you have any questions. You'll be ok. Have you practiced your walk?"

        I nod.

        "Good! There will also be a dress rehearsal." He pauses. I think he knows that I don't quite understand 'dress rehearsal.'

        "We will do the show for practice before the real one so we know where to go and what to do."

        "Oh," I say. I was doing fine understanding things until then.

        "Can I see the program?" He points at the paper in my hand. One of the other guys walks up and leans against Anthony. He waves gently and pushes back his long, blonde hair with the other hand.

        Antony looks at him, startled. "Hey, Misha," he says. "I don't see you on here, Hyuksoo."

        What? I have to be! "Can I try?" I ask. I scan the paper frantically. I didn't look at it earlier. 

        "Oh. They spelled my name wrong." I sigh in relief. I thought something had gone wrong.

        Antony takes the paper back. "And mine. They put 'Anthony,' not 'Antony.' Weird."

        Lee Soohyuk. I kind of like it. "I don't really care that it is not right," I say. "I like it."

        Antony chuckles. "Well, I guess that's your name for today, then."

        The blonde nods in my direction. "I'm Mikhail, but everyone calls me Misha."

        We shake hands.

        "Are you ready for later today?" Misha asks.

        "Yes, I think so."

        "Great!"

        Antony looks over my shoulder. "Who's this?"

        I look back. Has Hyukshin been sitting on one of the metal folding chairs quietly and patiently this whole time?

        "How long have you been sitting there? Where's your noona?" I ask him in our native language.

        "Noona went to go check on something with Sajangnim right after we got here," he says.

        I nod. I hold out my hands and he climbs into my lap. "This is my son, Hyukshin."

        "He's adorable!" Antony and Misha say at the same time.

        I smile proudly. "Say hi, Hyukshin."

        Hyukshin waves gently.

        "Hi!" They wave back, totally taken with my boy. I can't take the smile off my face.  I smile proudly.

        I hear her gait before I see her. Chaerin returns, kissing Shin's forehead and my cheek.

        "Noona! You're back!" Hyukshin says happily.

        "Wife? Girlfriend?" asks Misha. 

        "Girlfriend," Rinnie smiles. "I'm Chaerin." She holds Shin on her hip and shakes both of the boys' hands with her free hand.

        Hyukshin wriggles out of her hold and sits back on his chair. "Noona, I'm hungry," he says, tugging on the hem of her shirt.

        "What does that mean? I've heard it four times now," Antony asks. "The 'noona' one."

        "It means 'older sister,' but only for boys," I explain.

        "I thought you said she was your girlfriend, and that he was your son?"

        "Right. They aren't related, but he and I are. People in Korea call older friends by brother and sister names if the elder one allows them to do so."

        "I get it," Misha says. "Sort of . . . Not really."

        Rinnie hands Shin a small bag of crackers. "The society, and whole language, is based on respect of elders, a Confucianist idea, I suppose. There are word endings to indicate the speaker's relationship and rank with the listener. There is extremely formal, polite informal, informal, and extremely informal, which is used for people much younger than the speaker. Hyukshin usually uses the highest formal speech level with everyone, because he's been raised very well. I tell him he doesn't have to be so formal with me because I know him well and I want him to be comfortable with me, but he still uses it. It's pretty charming and cute, I think.

        "I'm like an older sister to Shin, and so he calls me as such. And I love being around him all of the time."

        Hyukshin drops his bag of crackers on accident, but thankfully nothing spills. "Aigoo," he says, clucking his tongue like an ahjumma. He starts to get off the chair, but Rinnie picks it up for him.

        "Hold on so you won't drop it again, ok?" she smiles.

        He nods, eating another handful of crackers. I his hair for a moment, and then I remove my hand. We both hate people touching us when we're eating. Antony and Misha are called away to the other side of the room and I wave goodbye to them.

        "I suppose you could look at your outfits for tonight," Rinnie smiles. "Come on! It will be fun!" She takes my hand and pulls me toward the clothing rack. We look for the hooks with my name on it.

        "Here," I say, touching the one that says 'Lee Soohyuk.'

        "Did they really . . . " She's speechless. "I can't." She begins to laugh.

        I laugh with her. "Yep, they spelled my name wrong. But I kind of like it, tell you the truth." I put my face close to hers and her eyes go to my lips for a second. She tilts her head a 'Should we?' I shrug 'Why not?'

        She wraps an arm around my neck and pulls me closer, her lips crashing onto mine. Her dark lashes flutter gently and peacefully and I her cheek with my thumb. She smiles gently against my lips.

        I pull back and our lips part with a light smack.

        "So," she whispers. "What are you doing? I think I should be doing something, too, right?"

        "I . . . don't know." I pout, trying to think. I shrug. "Ah, well."

        She smiles once more that beautiful smile of hers.

        "I like your eyeliner," I say. "It's very pretty and really neat."

        "Thank you," she says quietly. 

        "So," she says a minute later. "You only have a few clothing changes, which is nice, but you still have to move kind of quickly. That shouldn't be an iss--"

        She giggles as I kiss her cheek and hug her from behind. "Ah, Oppa."

        I rest my chin in her hair.

        "I'll be around if you need help."

        I nod. I resume my seat and she sits on the corner of the makeup desk.

        "Lee Hyuksoo!" Sajangnim is waving and walking over to me. "It's time to start the dress rehearsal."

        "All models should be in hair and makeup. Thirty minutes to show start."

        "No, no, no! I hate it. You aren't making it look nice." Sajangnim is yelling at the poor stylist noona trying to do my makeup.

        She winces again. "My deepest apologies," she bows. "What should I do?"

        "Make it look like the first camera test he did." Her face is steadily reddening. I don't look at her anymore, afraid to inflict her wrath.

        Sajangnim snaps her fingers. "It's not you. It wasn't you. Where's Chaerin?"

        "Yes, ma'am?" Rinnie stands quickly, still holding Shin. He flails in her arms and she puts him down.

        "You are going to do his hair and makeup," says Sajangnim, her tone much calmer. "You did it before, so do it again. You know how to highlight his face best. I'm sure you've spent a lot of time staring at it and touching his hair."

        I almost choke. Sajangnim chuckles. "Do this for me?"

        Rinnie's mouth opens, then closes again. "Yes . . ."

        Our boss responds with a gentle pat on her cheek and my shoulder. She winks in my direction and I just want to fall on the floor.

        "Whale then," Rinnie says, picking up the remover wipes and beginning to clean my face. I stare at the countertop. She reapplies the moisturizer and base and begins to add the highlights in with light liquid makeup.

        "Close your eyes for me?" She applies eyeshadow base and a quick dusting of shadow after it dries. The cold tip of the pencil lines around my eyes with a steady and quick hand. She blends her handiwork with another small brush.

        "And, open," she says. I get a chance to look at the dramatic smoky eye she's done. I look really different now. She applies a light lip color with the tip of her little finger, patting it onto my lips. She tilts her head to the side to see what she's done. I lean in quickly and peck her lips. She hangs her head and I can see her blush a little.

        "Ok, hair. Sajangnim, what do you want me to do?"

        "Your choice."

        "Yes, ma'am."

        Rinnie stares into the mirror at her reflection for a minute. She grabs some styling mousse and spray and a comb and blow dryer. She slicks my hair straight back and behind my ears and makes sure it stays with a bit of extra heat.

        "All done!" she announces. She has a huge, proud, lopsided grin on her face. I chuckle, patting her hand on my shoulder.

        "Chaerin, I want you to be his stylist," Sajangnim says.

        "Excuse me? But, what about her, ma'am?"

        "She was in on it. Don't worry; she'll be fine, and I wasn't yelling at her."

        Rinnie still stares at her blankly.

        "It was a test. I wanted to see how well you would do this time."

        The response is a slow, confused nod.

        "Don't think too hard." Sajangnim touches her shoulder gently and walks out of the room.

        "You ok, kid?" I ask.

        "Yes . . . ?"

        I take her hand in both of mine. "Come on. I still need to get dressed."

        She shakes her head, a mental reset. "Right."