The guys laugh behind me and I turn around. Hyuksoo puts his head on the table, nearly colliding face-first onto his pasta. His shoulders are shaking and his face is an explosion of happiness and some embarrassment. I wonder what was said.

        "Go on over there, seeing as you keep turning around," Bom says quietly, taking another sip of her drink.

        "You sure?" I ask.

        "The girls are boring. The boys are laughing. Go on; we won't mind."

        "She'll be the only girl over there," Soojoo pouts.

        "Well, her boyfriend's over there," Dara says, poking at her chicken.

        "I didn't think she liked Ji that much--"

        "Not Jiyong oppa, Unnie," Minji says between bites of her noodles. 

        That's the last thing I hear before I dash to the other table. I push Big Seunghyun and he jumps, almost spilling his drink in his lap. He puts down the cup and pats the seat next to him. I take it with a smile and steal a fry from his plate. He whimpers.

        "Chaerin," he pouts.

        I pat his head and steal another fry. He scoots his plate away and pinches the outside of my knee. I yelp and cover my mouth with my hands.

        "Hyuksoo-ah, if you ever want to make her squirm pinch the skin on her knee," he says loudly to get back at me. "Might come in handy if she ever tickles you."

        I raise my eyebrows at Hyukkie. "You're ticklish?" I ask. Oppa shouldn't have told me that.

        "Why would he need that?" Jiyong asks sleepily. I can't read his expression because of his dark sunglasses.

        "Ya, why are you wearing sunglasses inside?" Youngbae asks angrily. "I told you to take those off."

        "I have dark circles," Ji slurs.

        Little Seunghyun snorts. "That's cute, hyung."

        "Watch it," Daesung scolds him. "And hyung, you do look a bit strange with your sunglasses on inside."

        Big Seunghyun reaches over and rips the glasses from Ji's face and shoves them in his back pocket. Jiyong puts his face in his hands.

        "Hyuksoo, does she leave everything all over the floor?" Youngbae teases.

        Hyukkie and I choke on our drinks at the same time. Everyone laughs. Everyone but Jiyong.

        "So is that a no?" Little Seunghyun asks, hiding his grin behind his hand.

        "We're not . . . " Hyukkie starts.

        "Ew, no!" I groan.

        "I thought those pet names meant something, but I guess not!" laughs Big Seunghyun. "Is he a hair-puller? Or does he slap you?"

        "I. Hate. You." I say, right in his face. I smile good-naturedly. I kinda missed the guys picking on me like this.

        "Are our words empty, then?"

        "Um, yes," Hyuksoo shakes his head, picking up his drink again.

        "To stay on the same subject, when's the last time you've lost some sleep because of someone?" asks Youngbae.

        Hyukkie stares at the saltshaker and swallows the air in his puffed-out cheeks. "Uh, well, almost six years? Yeah; yeah, that sounds about right."

        "Who?" the boys all ask at once, a collective question of surprise, astonishment, and skepticism.

        Hyuksoo nods. "It's the truth, really."

        "How?" Both Seunghyuns look offended.

        "Maybe he was waiting for closure," I add.

        Hyukkie looks at me but I don't meet his eyes.

        "Are you that closure?" Big Seunghyun asks, poking at my arm. "Because I hope you are, or at least will be."

        "And you need to stop talking to your noona!" I scold him.

        "Which noona would that be?"

        "Bom." 

        "Oh. I talked to her last night."

        The others at the table, again excluding Jiyong, whoop appreciatively.

        "No, stop that," Big Seunghyun mutters. "She doesn't give any indications that she likes me in that way."

        "Ok, someone tell me what's going on." Jiyong's thin face is a bit haggard from a lack of sleep and quite a bit of stress, I'm sure.

        "Hyuksoo and Chaerin are dating," Daesung explains. It sounds so strange in such plain terms like that.

        I make eye contact with Hyukkie and his eyes dart between me and Jiyong.

        "When did that start?" He sounds angry. 

        "Well, maybe a week ago?" Jonghyun estimates. I wish he would shut up right now.

        I jerk my head in the direction of the door and stand up and walk out of the restaurant.

        "Excuse us for a moment," I hear Hyukkie say as I push open the door. He jogs to catch up with me.

        I'm already on the sidewalk. He takes off his leather jacket and drapes it over my shoulders. I'm embraced by his warmth and the scent of his light cologne.

        "Thanks, Hyukkie," I half smile.

        "Do you want to go around the corner?" he asks. "They can see us, no doubt."

        I nod and we walk for a bit to a nearby bench. I sit and he sits close to me, taking my hand into his large one.

        "What happened back there with him?" Hyukkie doesn't look right at me, and for that I'm thankful. I have time to think.

        "He's liked me for a lot of years," I say finally. "And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. I tried to convince myself that I liked him back, but I just couldn't. I mean, you know how he is and how he can be sometimes. He's nice but . . . He just wasn't it, you know? I was still nice to him, and we worked together a lot, but I didn't feel anything other than a simple friendship or colleague relationship. I thought he had given up, but apparently not. I didn't want to tell anyone that we're together, not because I was embarrassed of us, which is so far from the truth, and I can only hope you know that. I just didn't want to see him any more hurt than he already was. I'm not even sure what made him get so low recently. He doesn't really talk to me about his personal life anymore. I think he's a little confused about exactly who the human side of him is, his true ego, if you will, in the sense of id, ego, and superego." I sniffle. "I don't even know what I'm saying anymore."

        "No, I get it," Hyukkie says softly. "Rinnie?"

        "Hm?"

        "What do you think you should do?"

        "I'm still going to be nice to him, naturally. Other than that, I don't know right now. It's a mess."

        He puts his arm around my shoulder. I lean my head on his chest. It's a bit chilly outside.

        "You're cold," he says. His eyes are closed. "You aren't shivering, but I can feel it. It's just now getting to you, right?"

        Woah. "Yeah," I nod slowly. "But how did you know?"

        "I told you, I can feel it. Let's get you back inside."

        We walk back to the restaurant, holding hands. He opens the door for me and I start to give him back his jacket, but he shakes his head gently and puts it back on my shoulders. I resume my seat, noticing two less people at the table. A disgruntled Choi shoves his phone in his pocket and walks angrily back to the table.

        "Where's Ji?" I ask Big Seunghyun.

        He grips the back of his chair tightly. I can see his jaw clench and unclench. "He said he was going to the bathroom and I went looking for him after a while and now he's gone," he says slowly. "He won't answer his phone."

        "So stupid!" Dara practically throws her phone at Bom, who has her head in her hands. She's mussing up her hair in her frustration.

        "I know," Big Seunghyun growls. He places his hands on her shoulders and she touches his hand.

        Soojoo is glaring at the wall, seemingly trying to murder it with her eyes. Minji massages her temples. Little Seunghyun looks positively lost. Jonghyun and Daesung have their heads on their folded arms on the table. I try to call the missing boy myself, but the line goes to message almost immediately. It would be useless to try and spam him with texts, too. Wait! Has he left it here?

        I storm into the men's bathroom, not even caring if there's anyone in there. I stand in the middle of the room and call his phone again, listening for the buzz of the vibrate or his ringtone. I check the stalls, the sinks, the trash cans, and every other place in there. I wash my hands before trying the women's bathroom. I'm not sure if or why he would even go in there, but one must be thorough. I mark the women's bathroom off my list of places as I dry my hands.

        I keep calling his phone, checking all over the restaurant. A phone does ring, but it's Little Seunghyun's.

        "Silence your phone!" I yell across the place. "A man could be in serious trouble and you're making it hard to find him!"

        "I don't know why he decided to leave," I hear Big Seunghyun say. His voice is trembling. "I had to drive him over here because he nearly collapsed from exhaustion or hunger or something this morning, and then he nearly passed out later. I want to know if there's something wrong with him. I hate seeing him like this. Why did--" He stops talking.

        "Seunghyun-ah," Bom says, "please don't cry. I'm sure everything's all right."

        "Don't just say that." He's sobbing a bit now. I can't bring myself to look at him for fear of crying myself.

        "How has he been eating lately?" Jonghyun asks gently.

        "He seemed to be ok, but I don't know what he does behind closed doors. I never knew him to be anything like that, but you never really know anyone, do you?"

        I run out of the restaurant and around the back of the building. I can hear running footsteps behind me. I look over my shoulder and see Hyukkie and Youngbae's desparate faces behind me.

        "Chaerin-ah!" they call.

        I reach the back way before they do despite my stilettos. Thank God that I can run in these! I look around the dark alleyway frantically. I can't see him. This is . . . I'm just getting angrier by the minute.

         "Kwon Jiyong!" I shout into the darkness and streetlamp light. "Kwon Jiyong! If you're out here, please come out! Stop being like this! We're worried about you! Please come back to us! Please . . . "

        I fall to my knees. Hyukkie pulls me into his arms and just holds me. Youngbae hugs me, too, panting a little. They both kiss my forehead and squeeze me tighter.

        "If he knew he was sick," I start. "If he knew he was sick, why would he run?"

        "Because of you," Youngbae suggests.

        "Me? Why me?" I know exactly why.

        "You never really did give him a straight answer. Guys like him need a yes or no on whether or not they are in a relationship. And tonight you have him his answer, that's for sure."

        "It was wrong of me to assume he knew, then? I thought you guys were close enough to tell each other things like this." I'm really not sure whom I'm the most angry with. "I mean, I kinda get that Soojoo didn't know, because she has a life of her own and is busy enough with her schedule."

        "Ji has been ignoring us a bit lately," Youngbae points out. Who knows what texts he saw and which ones he didn't see."

        "He has?" This is new.

        "I don't know what's been going on with him lately, but I want it to stop. I want happy, smiling, sweet Kwon Jiyong back, not this cold, calculating . . . well, snake." Youngbae lets go of me and walks off a little ways. He huffs loudly and I hear him sniffle. 

        "Do you think he went home?" I ask, wiping my cheeks. "Maybe he went home."

        "Hyung, tell Seunghyun hyung to go to Jiyong hyung's house, or try his office."

        With a nod, Youngbae, dashes back into the restaurant. Hyukkie leans his forehead on mine and holds my head gently, my hair.

        "We'll find him," he whispers. "Don't worry."

        "Take me home."

        He picks me up and carries me back inside so I can grab my stuff and he carries me outside to his car. He opens the door and sits me on the seat. He reaches for my seatbelt, but I stop him.

         "I can do it," I say. Click.

        He kisses my cheek before shutting my door, getting in himself, and driving back to our building.

        He turns off the car. "Yours or mine?"

        I don't even notice that we're home. "Mine," I say quietly. He gets out of the car and opens my door for me. He puts his arm around me and walks me to my apartment. He opens the door for me and I put my shoes away. He takes his shoes off and we sit on the couch. I rest my head on his lap and pull my feel onto the couch. I feel impossibly small and unreasonably angry.

        He my hair and holds my hand. "I know you're angry," he says quietly. "I just hope he's ok."

        "I'm cross with him because I know he's not ok, so why would he do something that could hurt him more? I can help but feel like this was my fault. Do you think he maybe tried to--"

        "Don't do that. Just stop right there."

        I turn my body so that I'm lying on my back and look up at him. He looks just as disturbed by this as I am, but he's trying not to let it show.

        "Are you ok?" I ask.

        He shakes his head. "No, I'm not. I didn't want to see my friend hurt like that, so it hurt me, too. I just don't want him to do anything stupid."

        "Yeah." I bite my lip. "What do we do?"

        "We should wait. I think I heard someone suggest filing a police report. I don't know if we can even do anything besides that. He'll come back to us."

        My phone buzzes from inside my purse across the room.

        "I'll get it," he says, slowly standing up and locating my phone.

        "Throw it," I hold out my hands.

        "All right." He underhand throws it to me and I answer it.

        "Any luck?" I ask Big Seunghyun.

        "Nope, kid," he sighs. "Did you guys go home? I turned around and you were gone."

        "Yeah."

        "Neither one of you worry about it. We'll take care of it. I promise. Get some rest."

        "All right." I hang up. My phone falls into the crack of the seats.

        "It fell," Hyuksoo says quietly.

        "Meh," I grunt. "I'll get it later."

        He fishes it from between the seats and puts it on the coffee table. He sits on the couch and lies down with his head on the other arm, maneuvering around my body so he doesn't kick me. I lie down on top of him, resting my head on his chest.

        "What's this?" he asks.

        "I don't know," I pout. "I just don't want to be alone right now."

        He wraps his arms around me. "Ok, then, you won't be."

        "I just want to sleep."

        "Go ahead."

        I close my eyes. I just wish he hadn't run away and scared everyone like that, scared me like that.

        I'm still asleep, but I can faintly hear Hyuksoo speak some time later. "You might not be able to hear me, but I have good news. It's Jiyongie. He went to his office. Seunghyun hyung found him there. He's all right. There. Are you happier now?"

        I stir and stretch awake. I open my eyes with a small struggle, tugging absentmindedly at the blanket he's draped over our bodies. I groan a little, still tired. He brushes my hair aside and kisses the nape of my neck, readjusting the blanket so I don't overheat.

        "Go back to sleep, Rinnie darling."

        "Where's Shin?" I croak out.

        "He's at a friend's house, remember?"

        "Oh. Ok."

        "Go to sleep for me, all right, sweetie."

        "Yes, Oppa," I grin.

        He kisses my cheek gently. "Goodnight."

        "Goodnight."