Oh wow, this series developed to be quite depressing actually, far off than what I originally planned OTL I’m sorry to everybody who expected what was originally planned. This chapter contained triggering material and again I apologize if this is too much for any of you guys.

I cannot reply to any of your comments at the moment but I read every one of them thoroughly and love each word. Shout out to you guys who wanted backhug moment hohoho! This chapter is quite choppy so I hope it’s not that bad :) Okaes then! Enjoy reading!!

There was a fresh blue bruise on Yoseob’s mother neck. The collar of her shirt could not hide it, nor the make up that she had carefully applied on her skin. She smiled like nothing happened, like everything was okay in this world, in her world, she acted like the loving mother she was, the loved wife she was. No one could see it, no one, no one except for Yoseob.

“Eomma, did he hit you again when I was in school?” Yoseob asked, eyes narrowed with suspicion.

Mrs. Yang smiled gently like she always did, “No, everything is fine. Don’t accuse your father like that.”

“But I can see the new bruise on your neck.”

Mrs. Yang quickly touched the tender spot awkwardly and rearranged her collar. Her eyes went wild for a little bit as she kept quiet and prepared lunch for Yoseob in the kitchen.

Yoseob continued calmly, “Now it’s just bruises, but later they can be wounds from sharp objects. I’m sure he will not hesitate from wounding you. Father is crazy, so get a divorce and we will leave him.”

“We’ve been married for 21 years, I cannot just leave him like that.”

Hearing this, Yoseob lost his temper, he had enough of this. “Because you have been married for 21 years, he should have treated you well! Why would you even get married to him in the first place if he is going to treat you like .” He had just started university but he could not stand all of these anymore.

Mrs. Yang placed some vegetables onto Yoseob’s bowl, “Language, young man. I know you are grown up, but I would expect a little respect when you are talking to your parents.”

“Sorry…” Yoseob pouted.

Mrs. Yang sighed, “Your father was the most amazing person when we met, he was understanding and nice. It’s true that he changed in the past few years since his business went under, but that doesn’t mean –“

“Gossiping about me to your son behind my back, aren’t we?”

Mrs. Yang gasped loudly upon hearing a threatening voice.

“No, I don’t –“

“DON’T LIE TO ME!” Mr. Yang roared as he lunged for his wife. The small dining table in the kitchen was flipped as Mr. Yang pushed it away in fury. Both of them rolled on the floor and out of reflex, Yoseob involved himself in the struggle to help his mother.

Yoseob tried to get his father off his mother and punched the older man straight in the jaw. “KEEP YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF EOMMA!”

There were more shouts from Yoseob’s father and more cries from Yoseob’s mother. It was a total blur for Yoseob when he was pushed to the nearest wall, head thudding the concrete loudly. All he could hear was the high-pitched buzzing in his ears. Everything was in slow motion – his father’s furious expression, his mother wriggling on the floor, the mess from the plates, the food. It was all beige-coloured from so many colours mixing together. There was a shadow of a fist flying to Yoseob, slowly coming nearer, nearer, nearer. Yoseob was ready for the pain. He was always ready for the pain.

Yoseob gasped as he woke up from his sleep, he was panting really badly like he just sprinted 200 meters. Cold sweat trickled down his back and his temples as he pushed back his damp hair messily. It had been a really long time since he last dreamed about his dead father, especially that particular scene he was dreaming about just now.

The room was dark, as dark as the moonless night outside. Yoseob could only hear his own loud breathing reverberating in the dark room, his eyes trying to adjust to the darkness. The digital clock on his bedside table glowed with a bright green, it was only 4.12 am. He pushed aside his blanket and got out of the bed, peeling his pajamas off his sweaty body.

As he changed into a new pair of pajamas, he decided that today he would make use of his emergency day off.

=&=

“My son, you are here!” Yoseob’s mother squealed in excitement as she rushed over to Yoseob who appeared in the doorway.

There was an extremely bright smile on Yoseob’s face when he enveloped his mother’s small frame in his embrace. He really missed her so badly, and judging by the tight hug from his mother, Yoseob was sure she missed him too. A pang of guilt stabbed his heart for not being able to visit his beloved mother often.

“Are you doing okay, eomma?” Yoseob asked, leaving a kiss on her cheek.

Mrs. Yang beamed in happiness, “Don’t worry about me. Aigoo you are too thin now. Are you eating well? I can make soybean soup with some kimchi for you.” Yoseob nodded and hugged the small woman tightly again, he really felt like he had abandoned her all these while.

Yoseob was Seoul-born, the Yang family had always lived in Seoul from the start until the moment that his father passed away a number of years ago. After the funeral, Yoseob’s mother moved away from the hustle and bustle of the city to the quiet suburbs, where she lived alone in a house and a piece of land that she turned into a garden for fresh vegetables and fruits. Yoseob decided that he would stay in Seoul to continue his education and pursue a career in medical field.

“Eomma, your soybean soup is the best! Wow!” Yoseob sighed in contentment as he gulped the last drop of his mother’s soybean soup.

The small woman laughed happily, it had been a while since the last time Yoseob came, but it was okay with her. She knew that his son loved her so deeply. “Do you want Hotteok (sweet Korean pancake)? I can make some for you if you want dessert.”

Yoseob shook his head and burped loudly, he was full to the brim. “Eomma, I really want it but I’m so full.”

Mrs. Yang’s laughter tinkled in the air, crisp and light, as she watched her only son whined and pouted like a baby. “Aigoo… you are forever a baby. My baby.” She said, planting a wet kiss on his son’s cheek. “But honestly, I am really hoping for you to bring home a partner.”

“A what?” Yoseob frowned, feigning a disgusted look on his face.

“I was disappointed when I saw you coming here by yourself.” Mrs. Yang son and Yoseob’s pout was even more pronounced.

“I don’t see the importance of getting in a serious relationship if all I am going to get 20 years down the road is some bruises and instilled fear.” Yoseob said, the atmosphere suddenly turned quiet and somber, “Sorry, eomma, I’m not trying to –“

“It’s okay, I understand.” Mrs. Yang patted Yoseob’s back comfortingly, “I’m so sorry that you have to go through what I went through. It was true what you said, but aren’t you feeling lonely like this, hmm? All alone?”

Yoseob shook his head, “No, I have you. I will always have you and you will always have me. That’s enough.”

Mrs. Yang smiled sadly, “I know that you have me, but not for forever, Yoseobah. I, too, will die one day and then you will be alone. What will you do when I’m not here anymore? Life by yourself with the memories of me for the rest of your life?”

“You are still young, eomma. Don’t talk about dying so early. It’s bad luck.”

Mrs. Yang kept quiet because she knew that Yoseob would be over thinking this. She felt like she ruined her son’s life forever because he had to go through things that she should have gone through by herself. In a nutshell, she felt like she ruined Yang Yoseob forever and everything was her fault that now her son was so scared of real relationships and real commitments.

Honestly, Yoseob was thinking about this pretty often recently, a lot more after he started meeting Doojoon. There was a part of him that wanted to believe that he could live happily with someone else for the rest of his life, but there was another part of him warning him that people changed, twenty or thirty years down the road no one knew what would happen. And Yoseob did not want to get hurt later on, so he decided not to start in the first place.

The breeze blew lightly, carrying more and more thoughts for both mother and son who drifted away in their own worlds, albeit their intertwined hands on Yoseob’s lap. The silence was abruptly broken by a loud ringtone from Yoseob’s phone. The young man expected a call from the hospital, asking for something related to work, but he did not expect Yoon Doojoon’s face flashing on the screen.

“Sorry, eomma. I need to get the call.” Yoseob hurried outside to answer Doojoon’s call. “Hello, what’s up?”

“Where are you now?” Doojoon’s voice sounded a little out of breath.

Yoseob frowned, “Uh, I’m visiting my eomma. Why? Where are you now?”

“I’m at your workplace but you are not here. Where is your eomma’s place?”

“Why are you at my workplace?”

“I missed you so I came to see you but you are not here. Where is your eomma’s place?”

At this point Yoseob started to freak out a little, “Why do you want to come? I’m having bonding time with my eomma and outsiders aren’t allowed.”

Doojoon was silent on the other side and Yoseob wondered if he was too harsh on him. “Okay, then. Text me when you are back. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay, bye.” The phone was clicked off.

Yoseob wanted to bang his head to the terrace floor and just die on the spot because he did not mean to sound cruel to Doojoon, he swore to God he did not have any malice towards the handsome man, but he was just… confused and then his claws started to show because he just needed to protect his heart. He thought of calling Doojoon again to say more things, but what things? What could he say to Doojoon at this point of time? this, Yoseob thought. He was just so messed up that he did not even want to be him right now.

=&=

“Hello, excuse me for intruding.”

Yoseob and his mother were happily making some radish and cucumber kimchi that Yoseob absolutely loved when a very familiar voice froze Yoseob to the bones. It sounded exactly just like someone Yoseob hoped really hard was not.

“There’s someone at the door.” Mrs. Yang stood up and wiped her hands clean on her frilly apron.

“Eomma, I think that is just –“

“Hello, is anyone here?” The voice asked again.

Yoseob’s mother rushed to the door and when she opened it, she found a tall and handsome young man with twinkling eyes and perfect smile standing just outside the door. “Ommo, who are you looking for, young man?”

Doojoon grinned, showing off his perfectly crooked teeth, and bowed politely in front of an elderly, “Hello. Is this the Yang’s house? I am looking for Yang Yoseob.”

“Oh, yes.” Mrs. Yang smiled brightly, “Who are you if I may ask?”

Yoseob appeared out of nowhere and answered his mother before Doojoon could, “Eomma, this is my friend, Yoon Doojoon. Doojoon, this is my eomma.”

Doojoon bowed politely – ninety degrees with his hands at the side – and greeted Yoseob’s mother, “Hello, eomoni, how are you? It’s a pleasure meeting you.”

“Eomoni?” Yoseob scoffed, “Yah, this is your first time meeting my mother, don’t call her so casually. Are you close with her now?”

Mrs. Yang laughed, “Eomoni is okay, Doojoonah. This is my first time seeing a friend of Yoseob apart from Dongwoon. It’s really nice seeing you. We are making Kimchi, do you want to join in? I can save a container for you to bring home later.”

Doojoon beamed while Yoseob shook his head in feigned annoyance, “Yes, ma’am. I’d really love to make some with you.”

Yoseob could do nothing but watch as his mother and his partner walked together into the humble kitchen and his mother dressing Doojoon up in another white frilly apron for kimchi making sessions.

=&=

Yoseob expected some awkward moments, like how Doojoon would accidentally blurted out that they were having with each other regularly without any relationship, or how Doojoon was actually the heir of the Yoon Inc. He was actually waiting for Doojoon to freak out about dirtying his whole hands and arms with chili paste and powder. But out of Yoseob’s very pessimistic expectations, everything turned out great, more than great, because his mother looked like she really liked Yoon Doojoon.

Doojoon was sincere with his comments, with his actions, he did not hide anything, he was humble and the perfect son-in-law for every mother. Yoseob scoffed, of course his mother loved Yoon Doojoon, it was Yoon-ing- Doojoon, who would not love him? There was no other better way to put it, except that he was Yoon Doojoon. 

“Yoseobah, can you go to the garden behind and take some cucumbers? There are still some seasonings left but we ran out of cucumbers.” Mrs. Yang said softly to Yoseob and added, “Doojoonah, can you help out, too? It’s almost dark, so it will be better to have someone with Yoseob.”

Doojoon grinned brightly at the older woman, he was already up on his feet before Yoseob was even done wiping his hands clean. Yoseob chuckled a little because Doojoon absolutely looked like an eager puppy.  

The vast piece of land behind the house was modified into a vegetable and fruit garden. Everything was green and fresh, although Doojoon could not identify any of the plants and trees at all, but it was really amazing for Doojoon because this was the first time he had seen a natural vegetable and fruit garden. “Wow, this is so amazing. Do you know all of the plants here?”

Yoseob walked in front of Doojoon with an empty basket through the small pathway with ease. “Uh-huh, most of them. We have watermelon over there, carrots, radishes, and potatoes over at the other side. I can show you next time you are here, it’s getting dark now so we should hurry.”

“So there will be a next time?” Doojoon teased.

Yoseob frowned, still walking towards the small area of cucumber trellis, “How do you know this address? I didn’t give it to you, did I?”

Doojoon shrugged, following Yoseob closely, “I got it from Dongwoon. Then I asked around. Eomoni is pretty popular here, so it’s quite easy when you already get here.”

“Isn’t Dongwoon in London?”

“Yeah, poor guy. It was like dawn over there when I called him up.”

Yoseob did not mean to, but he laughed loudly at Doojoon’s nonchalant response. He slapped the older man’s upper arm a few times (Doojoon winced but said nothing), “Oh my God, I cannot believe you would do that to Dongwoon. Poor guy.”

Doojoon chuckled, “He sounded really tired, though. Like he just got it going on for him and Kikwang all night long.”

Yoseob burst out laughing once again and slapped Doojoon’s arm a few more times before bending down a little to get some fresh cucumbers. “I really cannot believe you. Don’t mention this to Dongwoon, but I think he deserved it. Oh, poor guy.”

There was a short silence in between and then suddenly Yoseob felt a warm weight pressed against his back, a warm pair of hands around his shoulders, pulling him back to the warm body behind him. Doojoon buried his face onto the juncture of Yosoeb’s neck and inhaled, “I missed you so much.”

Yoseob went lax and let himself melted against Doojoon. He tilted his head so Doojoon could nip at the soft skin on his neck as he raised one hand behind him to grab Doojoon’s neck, playing with the end of the older man’s soft hair.

“Does eomoni know?” Doojoon asked in between and nips.

“No.” Yoseob moaned, he closed his eyes and started rubbing his well-filled against Doojoon’s crotch, “she doesn’t know we are ing around. But she knows I like men.”

“We are not just ing around.” Doojoon protested. “And is she okay with you liking men?”

Yoseob hummed his response, quickly losing himself in the sensation of doojoondoojoondoojoon. He moaned again as his hand moved down from Doojoon’s neck to slip behind him, caressing Doojoon’s clothed hardness. He trembled slightly, some of the cucumbers fell off the basket. Yoseob turned his face so he could kiss Doojoon, and once their lips made contact, they devoured each other like starved men.

It was getting too hot too soon, and Yoseob started voicing out these soft hitches that meant the younger man was really . Reluctantly, Doojoon had to stop them before they rutted at each other on the garden ground.

Gently, he unlatched himself from Yoseob, “We should stop, it’s already dark. Your eomma is going to worry for us. Let’s go back to the house.

Yoseob nodded gently as he tried to steady himself, he felt like he just drifted off the ground and wow he was really, really . “Oh my God, we are hard. We cannot go back to the house like this.”

Doojoon stared at his crotch and then at Yoseob’s crotch, their hardness was somewhat outlined by their pants. They were not fully hard yet, but halfway there. “No, we are not doing whatever you are thinking we shall be doing,” Doojoon warned as he understood Yoseob’s facial expression, “We will think of icebergs and puppies dying and Godzilla and cockroaches.”

“Ew.”

“Exactly.” Doojoon smiled, “Are you soft yet?”

Yoseob made a face at him, “As a soft ice cream could be. Oh, are you staying for dinner? You should stay for dinner. My eomma is making samgyupsal. It’s going to be awesome.” He bent down to pick up the cucumbers he dropped during the short moment of passion.

“Okay,” Doojoon said, “If I’m not intruding your boding time.”

Yoseob frowned and he remembered his cruel statement in the afternoon. He cleared his throat nervously, “Doojoon, listen. I’m sorry for this afternoon. I did not mean to say whatever I said, it was just… I’m sorry. I really am.”

“So when do I pick you up from here back to Seoul?” Doojoon asked cheekily.

“Hey,” Yoseob whined, “that’s blackmail.”

“Well you did hurt my sensitive feelings without hesitation…”

Yoseob scoffed as Doojoon held his hand all the way back to the house, “Fine, let’s talk about it later after dinner.”

Dinner was fantastic, Yoseob was really happy that his mother was really happy because of Doojoon. It had been really lonely being just the two of them, but with one addition of Yoon Doojoon, dinner was alive and fun. Yoseob totally loved the samgyupsal that Doojoon wrapped for him, it was amazing and as a gift, Yoseob chastely or Doojoon’s finger every time the older man fed him wrapped meat. Oh, and Yoseob did not forget the fluttering eyelashes to go with the slight and .

After dinner, Doojoon helped out with cleaning up, washing dishes with his hands soaked into the soap water up to his elbows. Yoseob thought that Doojoon looked really good in this kind of domestic setting, he would be such a perfect husband and Yoseob fought really hard not to swoon on the spot.

It was late when Doojoon excused himself to return to Seoul, he still had work tomorrow. He hugged Yoseob’s mother tightly and promised he would come back – if Yoseob allowed him to, that was – and kissed Yoseob’s mother gently on the cheek.

The night was quiet as Yoseob walked Doojoon to his car. The older man pressed the button on his car key and a sleek black car lit up. “So when are you going back to Seoul?”

“I’m off work until tomorrow… so tomorrow night, I guess?” Yoseob chewed on his bottom lip.

Doojoon nodded, “Okay. I’ll come back tomorrow. Sleep well.”

Yoseob tip-toed and pecked Doojoon on the lips chastely. “Good night.” He then immediately turned around and walked back to the house in embarrassment. It was really strange that they had done more than a real couple had done but he was shy because of one innocent kiss.

Yoseob could hear Doojoon’s chuckle floating in the air as the man slid into his car. “Good night, love. Oh and maybe you want to cover up your neck, you have a purplish hickey.”  

Yoseob could not turn around faster as he covered his tender neck with his palm. His eyes widened in shock, he flamed red in embarrassment because if his mother – “Did my eomma –?”

Doojoon smiled from the car, his window rolled down, “Yes, she is aware of that hickey all night long. She gave me a thumb-up.”

“Oh my God, you son of –“

“Bye, I’ll text you later.” Doojoon quickly drove away with a satisfied smile on his face.

Yoseob stood dumbfounded in the middle of an empty street. He was downright embarrassed because his mother – oh no, he was so going to die out of embarrassment. And it was all stupid Doojoon’s fault.

He rubbed the tender spot on his neck, which he believed where the hickey would be. It was purple on his neck, but a different purple than the bruise his father used to inflict on his mother’s neck a long time ago. They were both purple bruises, but they were downright different.

Yoseob wondered if everything would then be different with Yoon Doojoon, too.