Sunrays were beaming through the small gaps of the shutter. Youngbae opened his still tired eyes and found himself on his bed with Jiyong laying on his chest. The whole room was so quiet that he had to ask himself if the storm had really occured or if he had had a dream last night.  He vaguely remembered the loud sound of thunder and rain as he thought about how he had managed to fall asleep. 

It had been hard. 

So chaste and soft. The touch on his lips had been so ... quick and tender and still it had managed to keep him awake the whole night, making it impossible for him to even close his eyes for a couple of hours, not to mention the sweet-scented brunette that he could not ignore even if he wanted to. The whole night Youngbae had pondered about that one kiss, had pondered about that dreamy look on Jiyong's face, those sparkling eyes that had been focused on him as he had pulled himself up. Those images did not leave his mind. 

Youngbae felt weird. Yes, he felt stupid for letting such an innocent kiss make him feel flustered and confused. He was behaving like a teenage girl after her first kiss, god dammit! He was neither a girl nor an unexperienced guy though, so why did he feel this way? It hadn't even been their first kiss. The educator remembered that he had pecked Jiyong's lips before. It had not happened often, but it had happened. There had been times when Jiyong had wanted a goodnight kiss for example. The other time, Youngbae had come back from a short trip and he had missed Jiyong so much that it just happened naturally while they were hugging each other ... 

Now, what was so different this time? It was probably the fact that Jiyong had intended the kiss ... Previously, it had always been the other way around. Why did his protégé do that at all? Could it possibly be that he, after all, was able to .... that he did feel .... 

Youngbae sighed. All this pondering plus the lack of sleep gave him a serious headache. He was overthinking. Jiyong had probably done it without any reason. He ... He didn't know what 'love' was, he only knew the kind of affection that his parents and his educator showed to him.  He would not understand the meaning behind those stolen kisses,

right? 

A slight stirring of the light weight on his chest tossed Youngbae out of his thoughts and back to reality. He looked down and tried to take a glimpse of Jiyong's face. It seemed like the brunette was still fast asleep. The educator looked at the digital clock beside him on the nightstand and smiled. 10:02 AM. Of course the younger man would be sleeping. There was no doubt about that now. 

Youngbae pulled the blanket up and covered Jiyong's and his body before wrapping his arms around the brunette's waist. He couldn't really describe it but having him in his arms early in the morning felt so wonderful. He loved the warmth that his small body was radiating, it was so damn comfortable. The educator closed his tired eyes for a while and started Jiyong's back. Lying there with him was equal to ten hours of deep and wonderful slumber. He inhaled the apple scent and sighed. Gosh, it felt so right and yet so wrong. But he did not care for once. He just wanted to enjoy this moment. 

Suddenly, Youngbae noticed movements on his chest again and reluctantly opened his eyes, staring down at the brunette. 

"Ji? Are you awake?" 

"Mhm.", was the only response Youngbae got for now since Jiyong was busy with yawning and rubbing his eyes. The sight was truly adorable. 

"It's still early." (in Jiyong's case of course) Just sleep some more if you want.", the educator cooed. 

"Hm, no. It's okay.", the younger man answered, smiling and looking up to him. "Good morning, Bae." 

"Good morning.", Youngbae said, returning his smile. "Did you sleep well?"

Jiyong nodded. "Yes, I have slept like a baby! And I wasn't even afraid of the thunder anymore." , he stated, making a proud face. 

"Oh, so you're a baby that is not afraid of storms? Impressive!" 

"Yah! I am not a baby! I just slept like one!", Jiyong protested, hitting his educators chest, which was so hard that his fist hurt a bit after that. "I am a dragon."

Youngbae laughed amusedly. "Alright, alright, I am just joking, G-Dragon."

The brunette sat up and blinked his eyes, glancing down at Youngbae with a confused look on his face. "Ji..what?" 

"It's your name translated in English." 

The younger man tilted his head to the side. "I don't understand." 

Youngbae smiled and gently reached out for Jiyong's wrist. "Lay back down and I will explain it to you." 

His protégé smiled in return and obliged, making himself comfortable on that strong chest again, while his educator combed through his hair with one of his hands. 

"So, your name is 'Jiyong' right?"

"Yes."

"Your name consists of two syllables, 'Ji' and 'Yong'. Now, the last one is 'dragon' in english while the first one sounds like the English way of pronouncing the letter 'G'. And the outcome of this combination is...?"

"G-Dragon?" 

"Right!"

Jiyong smiled against his educator's chest. "I like this name." He snuggled deeper into Youngbae's warmth. 

"It's really cool. But I think I still like 'Jiyong' better."

"Why?"

"Hm, it's cute and it suits you. That's why." 

"Yah, but I want to be cool. Not cute!" , the brunette protested, lifting his puffy head. 

"In my eyes, you will always be cute.", the educator said teasingly altough he was actually telling the truth. 

"I am not.", the younger man said pouting. 

Those sulking lips caught Youngbae's attention and immediately reminded him of what had happened the previous night. It caused him to murmur things that weren't supposed to be said out loud. "By doing this, you make yourself look even more adorable, Jiyong.", he stated sincerely and without a hint of playfulness in his voice as he sat up and leaned against the headboard.

Jiyong stared at his educator and noticed that his gaze was on him. That in combination with his previous remark made him blush slightly. 

Youngbae sighed and decided to cover his real thoughts with a smile. He wanted to ask, really wanted to ask why Jiyong had done this but he did not want to confuse him even more. He had already crossed some lines he had set for himself and that was enough. "I am just fooling around. Don't mind me, alright?", the educator said and playfully ruffled Jiyong's hair.

"Bae?" 

"Yes?"

Youngbae watched as Jiyong crawled closer towards him on the bed, closing the distance between them. He waited for his protégé to say something but instead, the latter just stopped right before his face and closed his eyes, lips slightly parted and cheeks pink. 

Was this ... ?

"Ji ... yong?" 

The brunette remained quiet, only puckering his lips slightly and that was the signal that made Youngbae understand. He stared at the younger man's face in front of him and didn't move, contemplating on whether he should do it or not. He did not dislike it but he was afraid that it would become a common act between them. And if it became a common act, Youngbae would start overthinking again and he would start to imagine that things between them would be more than just the thing between an educator and his protégé and he could not allow that because he knew it could never become like that and Jiyong would not even understand and he would get his hopes up for no reason again and ... 

And while thinking about all those things, Youngbae had not even noticed that he had unconsciously leaned in to the brunette's face, being inches away from it before the ringing of the doorbell brought him back to his senses. He snapped back, almost hitting his skull against the headboard and saw how Jiyong opened his eyes, giving him a questioning look. The educator stood up from the bed and flashed him a small and apologetic smile. 

"I will go and see who it is. Just ... sleep if you want to. Or ... just go and wash up, alright?" , he said in a soothing tone and ruffled the brunette's brown hair before exiting the room, missing the slight but significant change in his protégé's facial expression. 

Jiyong watched his educator until he was gone, then lowered his gaze on the bedsheets. He had  thought that Youngbae had liked what he had done to him last night. But now, it seemed like he was the only one who really enjoyed it in the end. It made him a bit sad. 

Youngbae sighed deeply and made his way downstairs in order to open the door. A part of him was thankful to whoever had interrupted them. On the other hand, he felt bad for rejecting Jiyong like that although he knew that it was hard for him to deal with rejection. Damn, he hated himself so much right now. The doorbell rang again. 

"Yeah, I am coming already." 

The educator opened the door and was surprised when he saw a particular young woman in front of him, dressed in denim short, wedges and a pink, checkered blouse with long sleeves. Her long hair was falling down on her shoulders, like always. However, she had a strange look on her face. It was a  bit remorseful.

"Hi Youngbae." 

"Madleine, uhm. Hey." , the educator greeted awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. After their argument, the atmosphere between them had become kind of weird, like neither of them really knew what to do. 

The young woman eyed her friend from head to toe, noticing that he was still in his sleepwear. "Would you mind letting me in?"

Youngbae shook his head and stepped aside in order to let Madleine enter the house. He closed the door behind them and silently walked with her towards the kitchen, where she stopped him from getting her a drink. 

"Leave it. I want to tell you something." 

The educator closed the cupboard and turned around, facing his longt time friend and signaling her that he was listening. 

"Well, I ... I went home that day and I realized that I went a bit overboard with what I said. I mean, I had met your protégé for the first time and already drew conclusions from your relationship. That wasn't right. And what I said about you being a ... you know. That was exaggerated, too. I mean,", she laughed, "I mean, you would never do such things. You are the last guy I know who would do that. But when I saw you being so nice to him ... I think I just wasn't used to seeing those kinds of interactions between an educator and his protégé. You two get along so well, I never had such a strong bond with my earlier protégés." 

Youngbae smiled slightly. "It's alright. We are used to people reacting this way when they see us. Our friendship is really ... special, so to speak. It was selfish from me to expect you to understand it. In fact, I should be the one to apologize. I should have explained it to you better instead of quarreling." 

Madleine shook her head and grabbed one of his hands. "But I am not like other people. I am close to you. I am your friend. And as a friend, I should have listened to you before making any assumptions. " She started carressing the back of Youngbae's hand. "I didn't even give you a chance.", she admitted regretfuly.

Youngbae gazed down at their hands and then back at Madleine's face. It was true that his feelings had been messed up since the day she came to visit him. She had put a bee in his bonnet, yes. She had caused him to ponder about things he had been carefree about. However, could he blame her for anything? He realized that he couldn't. In the end, she was just a friend who tried to spare him from some serious problems. But then again, could he really tell her about his feelings for Jiyong? Madleine had just stated that she wouldn't see him touching Jiyong in an inappropriate way, which was true. However, she didn't seem like she was okay with the idea of him feeling something for his protégé ...

"Youngbae? You okay?", Madleine asked, examining her friend's handsome face. 

"M'leine, I - "

"Bae?" 

Both friends turned their head towards the same direction and saw Jiyong standing in the door of the kitchen, dressed in his favourite pair of jeans and an oversized, black hoodie that seemed very familiar to Youngbae. The brunette looked at the two people in front of him and noticed their hands, his eyes following the movements of Madleine's thumb against his educator's skin. 

Youngbae followed his gaze and pulled his hand away, earning a questioning look from Madleine. "Oh, you're up?" What a redundant question, he thought.

Madleine put a smile on her face and turned towards the younger man, ignoring what had happened just now. "Good morning, Jiyong! Remember me?", she asked jokingly. 

The brunette stared at the French woman for a while before nodding his head. "Hello." 

She flashed him a bright smile and turned towards her friend. "Youngbae, can we have a little talk?" 

The educator furrowed his eyebrows. "A talk? But I thought we already - " 

"No, no. This is about something else.", she said, still smiling and turning back to the brunette who was observing them with a blank stare. "Please excuse us for a minute, Jiyong."  With that, she grabbed the educator's wrist and dragged him towards the living room. 

Jiyong's facial expression changed again. 

"Hey, why did you drag me away? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong you ask?", Madleine hissed, pushing Youngbae. "You still got the nerves to ask me that? Seriously?"

Youngbae was puzzled. He grabbed the French woman's wirtsts and tried to prevent her from hitting him any more. "What the - What have I done now?"

"He was wearing your hoodie! And don't tell me that it wasn't yours because I ing know that hoodie!"

"So? What's wrong with that?" 

" Why would he wear your clothes?" 

"How should I know? He probably took a random shirt from the basket and wore it!", Youngbae argued, "I don't even get why you are mad about this!"

"Oh I will explain why I am mad! I am mad because you are lying to me!"

"When did I lie to you, Madleine? Damn, I thought we had just reconciled with each other and now you are giving me this!" 

"I saw how quickly you retracted your hand when Jiyong appeared, how nervous you got when he saw us together. You are still in your sleepwear although it's almost eleven 'o clock! That's very untypical for an early bird like you! Hell, you took so damn long to even open the door and then I see him wearing your hoodie and hear you asking him such a stupid question like 'Oh, you're up?' Do you think I'm dumb, huh?"

"It's not like you think it is, okay!"

"Youngbae, tell you didn't, just - tell me you didn't!"

"I didn't do anything! Calm down, Madleine!", Youngbae said angryly, he had a hard time wrestling with Madleine's wrists. She was pretty strong for a woman. "There was a storm last night and he was scared, so I let him sleep beside me! That's all! I didn't touch him."

"Am I supposed to believe that? You touch him whenever you can in front of me, who knows what you do with when you are all alone! Now that his parents are not there, you have easy access to him, right?", she asked provokingly. 

"Are you trying to say that I am a ert? Is that what you think of me after apologizing to me for the same thing minutes ago? That makes no sense, Madleine! But fine, I get your point." With that, Youngbae let go of her wrists and she stopped struggling. However, he stepped back, just in case, looking at her with a disappointed facial expression. "What has happened to the girl that I used to know? I don't even recognize you anymore." He eyed her up and down. "Even your clothes have changed. The M'leine I used to know would never judge me, no matter how many foolish things I did in my university days. Look at you now. You even think that I am capable of doing such things to my protégé."

"Youngbae, I - "

"No, let me talk. I was thinking about whether I could tell you this, but I ... I do have ... feelings for Jiyong, okay?", Youngbae sighed, burrying his face in one of his palms. "I cannot define them properly but there is something. I cannot deny it. I know that he will never be able to understand and that we will never be able to become a ... couple but ... still. I cannot let go of him. I promised him to never leave his side. And although it is getting harder and harder for me to control my feelings, I would never hurt him. Yes, I would rather hurt myself by holding everything back instead of seeing him cry."

Madleine stood there and listened as every sweet word Youngbae uttered stabbed her heart. The tears that she had held back for years now flowed freely and she couldn't stop herself from sobbing. "I ... I was there first." 

Youngbae raised one of his brows, being confused 

"I loved you first, okay? I was there before him."

"Madleine."

"Why couldn't it have been me, after all those years, huh? Why do you think am I wearing these clothes?", She said sobbing and stepping forward to him, hitting his chest. 

"I - , I didn't know, I mean you never - " Youngbae was absolutely bewildered.

"Right.", she smiled sadly. "I never told you. But I will show you now." And with that, the young woman encircled her arms around the educator's neck and pressed her lips against his.

Of course Jiyong had to enter the room right then and there. 

A/N: Dear readers, sorry for being late! I was and am still very busy with school (exam period T,T) As you can see, things are getting a bit complicated for Youngbae! Even though I am the author, I pity him. Am I moving too fast? Please tell me if there should be anything you are not satisfied  with, okay? I am interested in your opinions! :) 

Love,

Hatsumomo.

 edit: HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOUNGBAE ♥