"This is ia, Youngbae!"

The educator leaned flat against the frontdoor of the Kwon residence, both palms pressed against the cold white wood, breath heavy as if he had come home after an early morning workout that he hadn't had for quite a while.  The scene that happened minutes ago  was constantly repeating itself in Youngbae's head. Madleine's voice and her last words still haunted his ears. 

"You don't even know what humans are capable of when they are yearning for someone else. Wait and see, if you don't believe me."

He shook his head, exhaling deeply in order to calm down. What the hell was that? Was she claiming that he would go that far and harass his own protégé, his friend, his ... ? 

Yes. What else was Jiyong to him? 

Youngbae sighed. It was way too complicated, so, so damn complicated. What did he feel for the younger boy? He knew that there was something. He won't deny that he did have feelings for him after all. When Jiyong was near him, he always felt like embracing his small body and protecting him from this sometimes so cruel society. When Jiyong laughed, he felt like laughing, too. When Jiyong cried, it felt as if his  heart was being etched by every single salty tear of his. When Jiyong looked at him with those light brown eyes of his, he felt like drowning into them, felt like losing himself in them for a while. When Jiyong called his name, his thin voice chiming though his ears - that was Youngbae's favourite symphony. 

But was that love? And if yes, was he even allowed to love his protégé? Could this kind of relationship, a relationship with a person who is different, even exist? Before Madleine arrived, Youngbae had never pondered about all these things. He had cancelled his flight to South Korea, had suppressed his desire to live in his home country, to return to his beloved family. He gave everything up just to stay by Jiyong's side. He gave it up because he could not imagine his days without him anymore, because he needed to see him, hear him and feel him. Homesickness was a terrible feeling indeed but if he actually returned to Korea last Christmas, Youngbae knew he wouldn't have gotten rid of it. He would have still missed his other home and that home was not his apartment in Paris. That home was Kwon Jiyong. 

Yes, he had been aware of these things but not once had he thought about the future, about their future. Right now, he didn't even know if they would ever have a future at all. Youngbae wanted to stay with Jiyong. That was a fact. He did not care if the brunette wouldn't be able to return and understand his feelings, he would love himself enough for the both of them. But ...

"This is ia, Youngbae!"

The educator shook his head again, this time more vigorously. Madleine's voice intruded whenever he thought about Jiyong with his heart. No, he couldn't feel such things for him. He didn't. Or, did he? He would be dumb to deny the other boy's beauty. Jiyong was beautiful to him, no doubt.  And he did like having him in his arms and rubbing his back, whenever he couldn't fall asleep. And he liked smelling his scent and holding his hand but these things were normal, weren't they? It's not like he had kissed him. Okay, he had given him a light peck on the lips a few times but that's it. He wouldn't just claim those pink lips and kiss him properly and passionately and ... 

Youngbae bumped his head against the door. No way. That wouldn't happen. He would never force Jiyong to do such things. He was fine with the way they were now. He had been fine the whole time, so why would that change now just because Madleine had put a bee in his bonnet? 

"Bae?" 

The educator flinched slightly as he was pulled back to reality. Still pressed against the door like a gecko, his eyes wandered around the room until they were fixed on a small figure with brown hair. 

"Oh, Ji! H-have you been there for long?" 

Jiyong shook his head, walking up to the older boy. "Has she gone home?" 

"Yeah, she has left.", Youngbae said and smiled slightly. He seperated his body from the wooden door and ruffled the brunettes hair. 

"Were you fighting?" 

"Fighting? No ... why would we fight?" 

"Because I heard her and she was yelling and you, too a bit." 

"Oh, that...", Youngbae nodded, mentally slapping himself for not having controlled his voice. "We were just fooling around." 

"Bae?" 

"Hm?"

"She is weird. I don't like her.", Jiyong said pouting, He wrapped his arms tightly around Youngbae's torso and burried his head in his shoulder.

The educator flinched slightly without knowing why. It took him a few seconds before he could hug the younger boy back, smoothing his hair. "But Ji, you have just met her. You cannot judge people so easily." 

"She is too loud.", the younger boy murmured.

"That's just her personality. Trust me, she is a good friend. Though I didn't like her either, when I first met her.", Youngbae said laughing. "However, with time, I got used to her temper and started to like her." 

Jiyong lifted his head from the educator's shoulder and faced him. "Do you like her a lot?" 

Youngbae saw how the younger boy's eyes had widened, his light brown iris piercing through his own dark brown ones. leaving him with the wish to get lost in them. However, something about Jiyong's facial expression was strange. He didn't know why, but he felt like he had to choose his next words very carefully. "Well, uhm she is my friend, so, of course I - "

"But I am your best friend, right? You like me more, right?", the brunette asked nervously and Youngbae could swear he saw a hint of panic in his eyes. 

"Hey, you aren't jealous, are you?", Youngbae asked teasingly, making the younger boy blush. 

"I am jealous.", Jiyong said bluntly and honestly, surprising the man in front of him. "But you do like me more, right?", he asked again, still not satisfied. 

Youngbae's face softened when he saw how desperately he wanted to remain the number one in his heart, how much he feared the loss of this position to someone else. It moved the educator. Was being liked by him so important to Jiyong? This wasn't the first time that he asked Youngbae to tell him that he liked him and  that they are best friends and that they will be together forever and such things. It seemed like Jiyong needed constant confirmation, a constant reminder that Youngbae would never leave him or replace him. Sometimes, the older boy thought that he was the cause of Jiyong's strong fear of loss. Sure, his doctors had stated before that he could become very attached to another person, in this case his educator and his parents. Nevertheless, his attempt to leave him last Christmas may have reinforced his fears. Youngbae blamed himself for not having prepared him at that time, for ruining one of the happiest days of his life. He had somewhat traumatized his protégé and he wouldn't forgive himself for that.

"Come here." 

Youngbae spread his arms, inviting the anxious boy into a warm hug. Jiyong gladly accepted his offer and snuggled into his chest, letting those  strong arms envelop him. 

The educator rested his chin on on that apple scented head and closed his eyes. Gosh, he loved how perfectly they fitted into each other. "I like you very, very much, Jiyong. There is no one who could replace you in my life, okay?", he said soothingly. "You are you and Madleine is Madleine. No matter how many people I'll meet,  I'll never forget about you that easily, because you are special to me. I mean it." Youngbae didn't think he could be any more frank in that moment. He opened his eyes and nuzzled his nose into those brown locks for a second. "Keep those words in your mind, alright?"

"Hm.", Jiyong hummed, his cheeks burning, his heart hammering painfully against his chest, but of course Youngbae didn't notice. That was all he needed to hear. That was all he needed to feel. 

"Now, how about we go to the park? The weather is so nice."

Jiyong grasped Youngbae's hand tightly and happily ran towards the swings with him. "Faster, faster Bae! Or the others won't let us on the swing!" 

"Woah, be careful! You'll fall down.", the educator warned while laughing. 

They reached the swings in no time and the brunette proudly sat down on one of them, jumping up and down excitedly. "Push me, Bae! Please!" 

"Alright, alright. Grip the ropes tightly." 

"Okay." 

Youngbae positioned himself behind his protégé and asked him again for the last time: "Ready?"

"Yes!" 

"One, two aaaand three." 

The older boy let go of the swing and gently pushed the brunette's back in order to keep him moving, which brought a lot of joy to him. 

"Faster, Bae!", he giggled, "I want to go higher!" 

"But that's dangerous." 

"I am not a baby.", Jiyong pouted, momentarily turning his head to Youngbae, so that he could see. "Come on, just a bit! Please!"

Youngbae felt like he was behaving  like a parent again and therefore complied to his protégé's wishes, smiling at him. "Okay." 

He pushed him a bit more and Jiyong was laughing loudly, enjoying himself to the fullest. Physical activities had always been something Jiyong loved. He would never say 'no' to a trip to the park or the indoor aquatic centre. Sometimes, he and Youngbae played volleyball or badminton in the garden. All those games were a lot of fun, according to the brunette. And he was quite good, too, never getting tired and being full of energy until the end. 

As Youngbae was pushing Jiyong, he couldn' help but blush after some time ( and he rarely blushed). One would think that he couldn't stand touching his body the whole time and that therefore, he felt a bit flustered. However, that wasn't really the problem. 

"Faster! Faster! More!"

That was the reason. 

"Jiyong, stop yelling. I-I'm doing my best already!"

He mentally slapped himself for getting flustered by something as banal as this but he couldn't help it. Though it made him feel extremely wrong. He noticed two young guys looking their way, snickering  and whispering things to each other. Youngbae knew what they were laughing about but he decided to ignore them and conectrate on pushing Jiyong when one of them suddenly commented the occurence. 

"Don't worry, your boyfriend will get you high enough!" 

"Excuse me?", Youngbae asked, raising one of his eyebrows. 

"Nothing man, you just keep pushing! Keep doing your best." , the other guy said, causing his friend to laugh loudly. 

Youngbae clenched his jaw, narrowed his eyes and walked towards the both men. "What the is your problem?", he hissed. Normally, he wasn't the type of guy who spoke and acted like this, but life had taught him otherwise. People like this only understood their own language after all. 

"Hey, calm down man! It was just a joke.", one of the guy's said, while the other looked at him terrified. They must have taken notice of the educator's well-built body, especially his muscular arms. 

"Well, I don't  think you are very funny. If you want to keep trying hard, I suggest that you do it somewhere else." , Youngbae said in a warning tone, balling his hands into  fists. 

"Y-yeah. We're sorry, we're sorry." 

Youngbae gave them one final glance before sighing and making his way back to the swings, where Jiyong awaited him already. 

"Bae? Did you fight?" 

The older man shook his head. "No, not really. I just told them to be quiet, that's all." 

"Did they say something mean? I don't understand." 

"Just forget it. It's not important anyway.", the educator answered, smiling slightly. 

Back at the Kwon residence, it was almost evening. Youngbae couldn't help but feel like an idiot. He had been angry at those guys, had indirectly threatened them and what for? For thinking naughtily. He had been ready to punch those men but what about himself? He deserved at least a hundred punches for being flustred a while ago! Being so immersed in his guilty thoughts, he didn't even hear how Jiyong was calling his name. 

"Bae! Are you listening?" 

"Huh? Oh sorry, Ji. Did you say anything?" 

"Yes. I want to take a bath." 

"No problem. Just give me a second and I'll prepare everything for you." , Youngbae said smiling and poking Jiyong's nose playfully.

"Can we take it together, Bae?" 

"Ugh.", Youngbae scartched his head, looking away from his protégé, looking anywhere but not at him. "Uhm, I don't think we can, sorry Ji." 

"Why not?", Jiyong whined. "We always go swimming together, why don't we take a bath then?" 

"Because ... because I don't like taking a bath. I like taking showers." , Youngbae said, glancing apologetically at the brunette before making his way to the bathroom - or let's say he was escaping to the bathroom. 

Jiyong followed his educator, still sulking but not protesting anymore. No words could describe how relieved the older man was about this. He the faucet and made sure that the water hat the right temperature before adding Jiyong's favourite bubble bath into the tub. When he turned around, he saw that the brunette had already taken off his trousers and was now removing his socks. 

"I am going to get some towels. Just enter the bathtub after you are, uhm, done. Alright?" , Youngbae gave his protégé a kind smile before leaving the bathroom. He took his time with the towels, walking slowly on purpose so that he wouldn't have to enter the bathroom when Jiyong was about to enter the tub. It wasn't like he hadn't seen him before. He had, several times, since he was the one bathing him and of course he had noticed Jiyong's body before, his creamy and poreless skin was so beautiful. But today's incident had made Youngbae's heart very heavy. He would never touch him inappropriately but the fact that he had gotten flustered because of his innocent screams of joy made him feel guilty and dirty. He didn't want to marvel at Jiyong's flawless body, he just didn't want to see something so beautiful when he felt so wrong. His eyes were not worth seeing so much beauty. 

Youngbae sighed heavily. 

A/N: Dear readers, 

I have a lot to say. First of all, thank you very, very, very much for you kind comments. Gosh, I was so happy when I read that you like this story! I want to apologize for being somewhat selfish. I asked you to comment and complained about lack of response without considering that you all might be busy with school/work or whatever. I am very sorry for that! ._.  From now on, please comment if you feel like it or if there is something you don't understand or if you want me to improve something. 

This chapter is slightly longer (I planned actually planned to include even more events lol) , because it mainly constists of Youngbae's thoughts regarding Jiyong. I am sorry if there is not much interaction in this one but I thought that it was important for you to know how much Madleine's statement has influenced him. He is having an inner battle, as you may have noticed. Poor guy! I still hope that you enjoyed this a bit.  To be honest, I have a lot of fun writing this, even slightly more fun than when I was working on "Hero".  I said in the beginning that this would be short, like "Night After Night" but if I don't run out of ideas, this one will be perhaps a bit longer ^^ I hope that's okay with you! 

The reason why I uploaded quite often is that I am currently having some free time. However, I will soon be really, really busy again, so I don't know when I'll be able to update this story again. I am again sorry and hope that you won't lose interest in the meantime. That would make me really happy! 

To be honest, I had planned to update sooner but the Sewol incident in Korea made me so sad, I just couldn't bring myself to write something ._. I am still praying for the victims and their families. What a tragedy, what a tragedy... #PrayForSouthKorea 

Anyway, thank you for supporting me guys! Love you! 

Hatsumomo.