Title: Can I have this dance?
Genre/Rating: Romance/angst, T
Pairing: Luna/Onew (Lunew)
Summary: Because Luna is a strong person...
Chapter Song: Can I have this dance by Lunew [http://youtu.be/xwWxynDQN-U]
A/N: This plot was stuck in my head so I had to write it to get it out. Tribute to the coupling that started it all. Lunew ~! Note that this story is not in chronological order so be sure to look at dates. Enjoy ^___^

Strong.
That's what everyone told her be. 
"Sunyoung-ah, you have to be strong." Her mom would say, "If you don't become strong and protect yourself, you're gonna get hurt. If people see that you are weak, they are going to step all over you."
"Park Sunyoung! Wake up! You have to be strong if you don't want to be stepped on and survive in this industry," her trainer would yell at her. 
"Stay strong, Sunyoung," her manager would say, "The scandals will pass."
Because strong. That's what she was. That's what she told herself to be. That's what she believes herself to be. So Luna spent twenty one years of her life building up a wall, stacking brick by brick to create a fortress to protect herself. She plastered a huge smile on her face to hide the walls. To be strong. Because that's who she was. 
--
July 16, 2014
Sulli wept, her hands covering her pretty little face as her chest heaved up and down sporatically. Luna went over to Sulli's side and pulled her into a warm embrace. The younger girl clung onto Luna and bawled even more while saying, "I'm so sorry, guys."
Krystal climbed onto the other side of the couch and hugged Sulli. Victoria sighed as she put a hand to her head, "No, Sulli. It's not your fault."
That just made Sulli bawl more and shudder in Luna's arms."B-but," Sulli said, "I'm sorry. *sniffle* for *sniffle* dropping *sniffle* everything. I just... *sniffle* I just can't do this anymore."
This set her off into another series of crying fits.
"We understand your decision," Amber said calmly, sitting on the other couch. Sulli's sobs started slowing down and the younger girl finally fell asleep. Amber picked her up and tucked her into bed while Krystal, Luna, and Victoria remained sitting in the living room. Krystal sighed, "What are we going to do? We've only promoted for two weeks."
Victoria sighed, "I don't know. We're going to continue this week without Sulli. But for long term, they're probably going to grant Sulli's wish to take momentary leave."
"So that means our promotions are going to come to end." Krystal said coldly, saying it as a statement. That same question was going through Luna's mind as Amber came out to join them. Victoria shook her head, "I don't know. Most likely."
Krystal's pretty face crinkled, "Are you serious? Unni, we practiced SO much for this comeback. We didn't do anything as F(x) for a year and now it's going to end within three weeks"?!"
"Soojung-ah," Luna tried to console. Krystal just broke out into sobs, "Do you remember how many hours we spent singing and recording for these songs? Or how many hours we stayed up perfecting that dance? Do you remember how little we ate and how much we worked out because of this comeback?"
Amber quietly comforted Krystal who yelled with angry tears, "It's not fair!" Krystal got up and stomped over to her room. 
"It really isn't," Amber quietly noted before getting up and going to console Krystal. Luna just sat and watched Victoria's body slouch.
"I'm sorry, guys," Victoria whispered softly to no one in particular. Luna took a deep breath before saying, "You should go rest, Vic Unni. And why are you sorry? It's not your fault at all."
Victoria's tears fell silently down her face as she wiped them and said, "But I'm the leader. I'm your unni, I should be protecting you guys." Luna hugged the older girl and wiped her tears, "Unni, don't be hard on yourself. We'll survive. We'll get through this together."
Victoria nodded as she sniffled, "Thanks, Sunyoung. I guess I should go sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
The older girl went to her room, leaving Luna alone once more and to her thoughts. Luna put so much work and so much effort into this comeback. She wanted to cry. She wanted to bawl. She wanted to be angry and yell. It was unfair. But she couldn't do any of those things. Because she had to be strong. Luna had to be the strong one for the group.
--
June 15, 2009
"Unni, unni!" Soojung shouted in Sunyoung's ear. 
"Ow, Soojung, no need to scream!" Sunyoung said laughing, "What's up why are you so excited?"
Sunyoung was eating a peaceful lunch alone after a long morning of vocal exercise. 
"SM is going to debut a girl group!" Soojung said excitedly, "And the CEO wants to meet with me! And you, too! Which is why I raced all the way here!"
Sunyoung's heart stopped beating and she opened her eyes wide in shock, "You don't think... Are we really?"
Soojung just smiled widely and nodded. Sunyoung, still wide eyed, exclaimed, "We're gonna debut?!"
Soojung nodded, "Yeah, unni! Come on, let's go to the CEO!"
Sunyoung immediately followed the younger girl and went into the meeting room. Vic unni, Amber, and Jinri were also sitting in the room.
"You guys will be debuting in September as F(x), an electropop dance group."
Sunyoung didn't remember anything else from that meeting. The only thing that stayed in her head was that she was debuting and it was with these other four amazing girls. The five girls shared something special at that meeting. It was like this glint and premonition that everything was going to be good. She walked out of that meeting in a daze. Her dreams were that much closer to becoming a reality. She was going to be an artist.
Soojung scrambled off to tell her sister and the other girls went off to tell their own friends. Sunyoung immediately ran to the nearby dance room and swung the door open.
"Hey Sunyoung!" Taemin said, sweating, "What brings you here?"
"Where's Jinki oppa?" Sunyoung asked excitedly. Taemin laughed, "It's break time so he's ordering chicken. He should be just around the hall."
"Thanks, Taemin!" 
She ran around the corner and bumped into a soft but sturdy body. Said body reached out and held Sunyoung steady so she didn't fall.
"Whoa, be careful there," Onew said with a smile. Sunyoung's face brightened up, "Oppa! Oppa!! Guess what!!!"
"What?" He asked, "You brought me chicken?"
Sunyoung laughed, "No! I'm gonna debut! I'm debuting in September as a five member girl group!"
Onew broke out into a huge smile, "Congratulations my little munchkin!"
He gave her a big hug and ruffled Sunyoung's hair. 
"I'm so excited!" Sunyoung said jumping up and down, "But yet terrified at the same time."
Onew smiled, "Don't worry, it'll be great!"
"But I'm so nervous," Sunyoung said, "But so excited. I have such strange feelings in my heart right now!"
Onew laughed with a glint in his eye, "That's the best feeling in the world. There's nothing like your debut stage."
Sunyoung happily sighed, "This feels like a dream."
"Don't worry, it's not!" Onew said, "At least better not be cause I ordered some delicious chicken and I really want to eat that."
Sunyoung laughed as Onew continued, "You should eat with us. As a celebratory thing?"
She nodded and the two headed toward the SHINee practice room.
--
July 25, 2014
"You don't have to be strong alone."
Luna looked up from her position of rest on top of her knees. She quickly wiped the tears and saw Onew, standing with a crooked grin.
"You need come company?"
Luna looked away and didn't say anything, not trusting her voice. Onew just sat next to her as they sat silently on the rock, looking out into the lake. Onew smiled and said, "Wow, I haven't been here for the longest time."
"What do you want?" Luna asked so softly she thought Onew didn't hear.
"Nothing," Onew said, "Just looking for good company."
Luna took a deep breath and forced a smile, "Well, I'm off then."
Onew grabbed her wrist before she was able to get off the ground.
"Stay," He said earnestly. Luna made the mistake of looking at his kind eyes and shook her head, "I can't."
"You ran away from me for two years. You can't run forever."
Luna's eyes widened for a fraction of a second before she loosened from his grip and faced the lake again. She curled her body into a tight ball again and wrapped her arms around her leg.
"All my life," Luna said while staring off into the distance,"I was told that if I work hard and give it my best, I can succeed. And that I will be happy. I try hard. I give everything my best. What am I doing wrong?"
Onew opened his mouth, wanting to comfort her, but he didn't say anything. He couldn't say anything. 
"Do you want oppa to sing for you?" He asked with a small smile. Luna just shook her head, "No. It's getting late. I think I should go."
But none of them moved. Onew just ruffled Luna's head and said, "I missed you."
Luna's eyes watered and lips quivered as she said, "I missed you, too."
Luna felt everything she held back unleash. All the overwhelming feelings and emotions rushed through her as she threw her arms around Onew in a big hug as he patted her back. Luna let out all the tears she held in, all the frustrations and anger... all onto his chest. Onew just soothed her and said, "I'm sorry. I'll be here for you."
And just like that, Onew took down those walls again. The walls that Luna put together to block him out the past two years. All it took were three words.
--
October 10, 2006
Sunyoung let out a deep breath as she walked out of the vocal training room. It was only first week in the company and they made her spend the whole week dancing and singing. Sunyoung was pretty shy and uncomfortable in this new setting. She was always with her twin sister constantly, so it was strange being alone in this foreign place where everyone looked so much older. 
The first day was pretty cool because she saw a bunch of different idols whom she's only seen on television. She looked at them with wide, shining eyes and excitedly bowed to them. They only replied with curt nods and walked off. Sunyoung pouted. There weren't that many people her age either. They were all so much older. Her stomach growled, so Sunyoung went off to the cafeteria. Well, one good thing was that the food was at least delicious. She grabbed a tray of food and went over to eat alone at one of the tables. There were a couple older trainee sunbaes she bowed to but she just went off to eat on her own. 
You can't ever trust anyone. That's what her mom always told her. Be nice and courteous and smile. But always keep people at an arm's distance, or else she was going to get hurt. 
"Hi unni!" Sunyoung's roommate Jinri said as she walked over and sat with Sunyoung. The older girl just smiled at Jinri, "Hi."
The younger girl happily babbled on about her day being long and stuff while Sunyoung just politely nodded and listened. Jinri was a cute girl and Sunyoung liked her. But Sunyoung only knew her for a week, so it was still quite uncomfortable. It honestly takes her a longer time to get adjusted to things. The only thing Sunyoung needed to focus on right now more than making friends was improving on her dancing and singing. 
"Oh, Jinki oppa!" Jinri waved at one of the guys who came into the cafeteria. Sunyoung looked over and saw a scrawny older guy with smiling eyes and a goofy grin on his face as he waved back to Jinri and sat down with them. 
"How's baby Jinri doing?" He asked happily. Jinri pouted, "Long day of practice."
Jinki laughed, "Well that's what trainees do." His laughed was booming and rang throughout the whole cafeteria. His laugh stopped and he finally noticed Sunyoung quietly eating.
"Oh, and are you a new trainee here, miss?" Jinki asked with a dashing smile. Sunyoung just nodded and said, "Park Sunyoung, nice to meet you."
"Lee Jinki," He said with a playful glint in his eyes, "Pretty girls shouldn't look so serious. You should smile."
Sunyoung just blinked at him and said, "Oh. Okay."
And then resumed eating and Jinki bursted out laughing. Sunyoung and Jinri gave him a weird look as he laughed by himself. 
"Well, I'm gonna get going," Sunyoung said, standing up with her tray, "It was nice meeting you, Jinki Sunbae. I'll see you later at the dorm, Jinri."
Jinri just nodded as Sunyoung walked and she swore she heard Jinki mutter a "she's cute."
Sunyoung flushed red and just shook her head and left the cafeteria. She headed to a dance room to practice more. 
--
February 27, 2007
"You really ought to loosen up." 
Sunyoung stopped dancing and breathed harshly as she looked at the intruder in her practice room. Jinki was leaning by the door frame with a friendly smile on his face. Sunyoung turned off the stereo and grabbed a water bottle to drink.
She narrowed her eyes and said, "How long have you been watching me?" Was he trying to gage how far along she had come? Is he trying to keep a mental note of the competition?
Jinki just laughed, "Not too long. I was just curious as to what Park Sunyoung always practiced for so many hours behind these closed doors."
Sunyoung just shrugged, "Dancing."
"Why don't you ever come to our trainee gatherings and hangouts?" He asked. 
"I don't know about you, but I'm not here to play games. I'm here to become a singer." Sunyoung said as she tossed her empty water bottle aside. Jinki laughed, "How old are you?"
Sunyoung blinked, "14."
"That's not something a 14 year old should be saying. You should be making friends and having fun while learning to dance and sing and all that good stuff."
Sunyoung just stared at him with slightly opened. 
"What I'm trying to say it," Jinki continued, "Dance isn't all about technicalities and perfections. Sometimes... you just gotta feel it, you know? Same with singing. It's not always about that formula. So sit back, loosen up, and enjoy the ride. You feel me?"
Sunyoung kept staring at him, confused. That was the complete opposite of the core she believed. Practice it. Perfect it. Practice it. Perfect it.
"And give yourself a break, you're just a teenager," Jinki said laughing, "Now come. Oppa will buy you some ice cream."
Sunyoung stared at him skeptically and said, "What the hell do you want from me?"
Jinki shook his head said, "Oh come on. Were you fooled by people your whole life?"
Luna blinked. Yes.
"I'm just trying to be nice," Jinki said, "You seem lonely. I just want to be a friend."
Luna still looked at Jinki unsurely. He definitely seemed dangerous. 
"Come on, I'm not gonna bite you or anything."
He gestured for her to follow and Sunyoung hesitated. Don't trust people. Don't let down your walls. She looked at Jinki smiling radiantly at her. Don't trust people. Don't let your walls down.
"Okay." Sunyoung finally said as she walked over to him. Jinki beamed and said, "Girls and ice cream."
And slowly, Sunyoung's walls started coming down. 
--
July 12, 2007
Trainee life drastically changed for Sunyoung. Instead of isolating herself to practice on her own, Sunyoung found herself inquiring the help of the older sunbaes and hanging out with fellow trainees. She loosened up and smiled more often. Sunyoung became closer to the older girls (who recently debuted as Girl's Generation) and the older guys, especially the Super Junior oppas. And of course, there was Jinki who started it all with that signature grin of his.
It was strange for Sunyoung... to open up and be herself. And have people accept her the way she is. 
"Unni, what are you thinking about so seriously?" Soojung asked, plopping next to Sunyoung in the practice room. Sunyoung grinned and shook her head, "Nothing really."
"Anyway," Soojung said, "You should come hang out with us after vocal lessons. Some of the oppas are going to buy us chicken!"
Sunyoung laughed, "I'm guessing Jinki oppa's suggestion?"
Soojung snorted, "Of course. You're gonna come, right?"
"I don't know. I should brush up on some dance moves and..."
Soojung shook her head, "Unni, you practice too hard sometimes. Just come!! Jinki oppa is gonna be there and Amber and Joonmyeon oppa and Minho oppa and Kibum oppa and..."
"Okay, okay!" Sunyoung exclaimed, "I'll be there!"
Soojung grinned, "I knew you'd come! I'll see you later!"
Sunyoung shook her head and smiled as the younger girl left. She sighed. As much as Sunyoung did change and you know, actually started making friends, she was still weary. Weary of people. Weary of trusting them. Scared of getting hurt by them. Just scared.
Maybe Sunyoung wasn't strong after all. She was afraid.
"Afraid of what?"
Sunyoung gasped as Jinki's face popped up right next to hers. Sunyoung jumped in surprise, "Oppa, you scared me!"
He grinned at her, "Well, you weren't paying attention and were mumbling about being afraid or something."
Sunyoung blinked, "Well. Um, yeah.  Whatever."
"Are you coming to eat chicken with us today?" Jinki asked. Sunyoung laughed, "Yes, I already promised Soojung."
Jinki smiled, "Good. Well, oppa has to practice. I'll see you later tonight~"
He winked at her and then went off to do his own thing. Sunyoung blinked in fascination, wondering if people like Jinki really existed. People who were so friendly and... happy. Just happy. 
Why couldn't she be like that?
--
January 12, 2008
"Again."
Sunyoung sighed as she sang the scale one more time.
"Again."
She flinched at the harsh tone of her vocal coach and tried one more time. The coach let out a breath and said, "Sunyoung, how many times did I tell you to take care of your throat?"
Sunyoung looked down and said, "Many times."
"You can't even do your scales correctly right now!" Her coach yelled, "Do you think people will be understanding if you say you hurt your throat? Do you think people will care? Sunyoung, if you want to survive in this industry, you need to take care of yourself. Others won't take care of you and baby you. Do you hear me Park Sunyoung?"
Sunyoung bit her lip and in the tears that glistened her eyes. She took a deep breath and managed to say, "Yes."
The vocal trainer shook her head, "Go rest. Come back tomorrow. Don't even think about singing today."
Sunyoung nodded and walked out the room. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Sunyoung briskly walked away, looking down at her feet so she didn't notice an approaching body and rammed into it. She stumbled back and saw Joonmyeon standing there with a grin. 
"S-sorry Joonmyeon oppa," Sunyoung said. He smiled, "It's fine. Where are you going in such a hurry?"
"um," Sunyoung said, "Nowhere. I just... need to go rest. So, um, bye."
She tried to walk past him when he grabbed her wrist and asked, "Sunyoung, is everything okay?"
Sunyoung looked at him and saw concern in his eyes. Don't trust anyone. Sunyoung forced a smile, "I'm fine. Thank you for worrying about me, oppa."
And she walked away to her dorm room and cried.
--
October 2, 2008
"Congratulations," Sunyoung said with a smile. Jinki flashes his goofy grin and said, "If you really want to congratulate me, you ought to buy me some chicken!"
Sunyoung laughed, "Okay, oppa, I'll buy you some chicken."
Jinki beamed, "I love chicken!"
"You seem more happy about the chicken than your debut." Sunyoung said with a laugh. Jinki thoughtfully said, "I think I'm happy about both. More excited and scared for the debut but genuinely happy for the chicken."
Sunyoung shook her head, "Oppa, you're crazy. I think I would faint if I was told I was going to debut."
"Don't worry, you will soon!" Jinki said encouragingly. Sunyoung smiled sadly, "I don't know."
"What do you mean?" Jinki said, brows crinkled. Sunyoung shook her head, "It's nothing." 
Jinki gave her a look and Sunyoung placed a big smile on her face, "Besides. Today is about you. Let's go get your chicken."
He was still giving her a strange look which Sunyoung ignored and just said happily, "Let's go!"
When Jinki wasn't laughing she just said, "I guess I"m gonna go eat the chicken all by myself."
He sighed and said, "I'll let it go this time."
Thank you. Sunyoung just cheerfully talked to Jinki about different things and he politely talked back. But deep inside, Sunyoung was feeling anxiety. Worry. Pain. 
Can she make it? Will she make it?
--
July 24, 2014
"F(x) is halting their current promotions for Red Light. SM released an official statement that F(x) will bring an early stop for their rising popular song and will focus on their individual schedules. SM also stated that Sulli will be taking a momentary hiatus from the group. Sources say that it's only momentary, but who knows how long that will be. Looks like it's going to be some rough waters for the girls as-"
Bleep.
Luna turned off the TV that Victoria was watching. 
"Unni, why are you watching the news?" Luna said, "You already know what's happening."
Victoria sighed, "Just wanted to see exactly what SM said about our situation. Individual schedules my ."
"Did Sulli leave yet?" Luna asked, ignoring Victoria's last snarky comment. Victoria nodded, "She was already gone when we woke up this morning."
She didn't say goodbye? Luna sighed and nodded, "Okay. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm really tired from recording for Play the Sirens."
"Okay," Victoria said as Luna walked to her room. 
"Oh, by the way!" Victoria called out, "Onew called. He asked about you."
Luna froze and took a moment before saying, "I don't care."
She went into her room and let a deep breath before collapsing on her bed. She was so tired. Tired of this mess. Tired of feeling like a failure. Tired of missing him. Tired of feeling so... alone.
Luna curled herself into a little ball. Her walls were growing higher and higher. She couldn't help but wish someone would come tear them down.
--
April 12, 2009
"SM's new girl group F(x) has released their debut song La Chata and they've been receiving a lot of love from the public. With a funky beat and an electro hiphop combination, the quintet girls bring something new to the k-pop world. We look forward to seeing more music from these fierce ladies. They had received quite a bit of attention even before debut for having Girl's Generation's Jessica's younger sister in the group as well as child actress Choi Jinri and-"
Bleep.
"Aw, why'd you turn it off, Vic unni?" Sulli asked with a pout. All the girls were seated on their tiny couch of their tiny living room, excitedly staring at the screen of their tiny tv.
"Yeah, unni!" Krystal said, "We're finally on the news!"
"Girls," Victoria chastised, "We have a full day of schedule tomorrow. I don't want us to be tired. We need our beauty sleep!"
Amber laughed, "Or handsome sleep for me."
Sulli and Krystal giggled and Luna just smiled as Victoria said firmly, "To bed all of you!"
"Yes, mum" the girls said as they scurried off into their rooms. Luna went into her shared room with Amber and yawned as she snuggled into her bed. It was so crazy. They finally debuted. She was an idol now and being on that stage brought emotions she never could even imagine.
"Sunyoung, are you sleeping?" Amber asked from her bed. 
"No," Luna replied. 
"Are you happy?" Amber asked. Luna remained silent for a bit before replying, "Yeah. I think I am."
"I'm glad," Amber said, "All these years, I feel like I've never seen you really smile."
"What do you mean?" Luna said, "I always smile."
"I don't know," Amber said, "You still looked sad though."
Luna didn't reply and stared up at the ceiling. 
"Well, I'm glad though," Amber continued, "That you're happy now. I hope that as F(x), you continue to be happy. With all five of us."
Luna nodded and smiled, "I hope so, too."
--
November 14, 2009
Luna bit her lip as she crumpled on the ground next to her bed. She tried her best to stifle her cries as Amber was softly snoring on her bed. She knew that having fans always came with anti-fans. But Luna didn't know it was going to hurt this much.They were constantly compared to Girl's Generation and other girl groups. They're not cute enough. They're not y enough.
Krystal was especially having a hard time being overshadowed merely as Jessica' sister. The younger girl cried in Luna's arms so many nights about how it was unfair and that she wants her own identity. Amber was also struggling from all the rumours that she was lesbian, bi-ual, trans-ual, whatever. Luna never saw Amber break down like that before, crumpled in bed. They all had their fair share of negative comments. But Luna would not let it break her. She would never show how much those comments about she "is not the next boa" or that her singing "is below par." Nope, Luna had to keep it all in. She had to be strong for her members and bring up the energy. She had to encourage her team. Because they couldn't all be wallowing in misery.
"Don't listen to them, you're beautiful just the way you are, Sulli!"
"Unni, you're not old. Are you kidding me? It doesn't even matter, you look as young and youthful as us anyway!"
"Krystal, you are not a carbon copy of your sister. Are you kidding me? You have your own attractive charm!"
"Don't listen to the accusations of netizens, Amber, they don't know what they're saying."
Don't listen to them. That's what Luna was telling her members and encouraging them. With a big fat smile on her face. 
But Luna just couldn't say it to herself. She wouldn't believe it herself. But she was going to be strong. Her tears started to stop and Luna smiled. This was so ridiculous, crying in the middle of the night so that no one would catch her.
At that moment, her phone rang and she saw a text from Onew.
"Don't be crying by yourself like a loser. Don't read negative comments. You're an amazing artist."
Luna let out a laugh as she felt tears pooling in her eyes again. That Jinki was a mind reader. For once she didn't feel alone.
--
May 7, 2010
F(x)'s third comeback with Nu ABO was a hit. Luna really wasn't expecting to get this much love from the people. But it was nice hearing some good comments instead of always hearing those mean ones. A lot of people were complimenting her singing, which apparently got "really good" according to one of the anti's who became a fan. 
"I'm glad your promotions are going well!" Onew said happily as the two sat by the secluded lake near their company, eating ice cream. It was a spot that Onew showed Luna because she was "his favorite dongseng." Luna smiled, "Thanks oppa. SHINee is doing even better. Your fanbase is crazy!"
Onew laughed, "It's a gift that we are eternally grateful for!"
Luna nodded, "Fans really are a gift."
There was comfortable pause before Onew said, "I told you there was nothing to worry about. People are acknowledging you as a great artist, now."
Luna looked at Onew who grinned and ruffled her hair, "I told you you were good."
And then her heart did this little flippy thing. She froze... what the hell was that? She looked at Onew with wide eyes and pulled away from his touch but he just laughed at her, "What? Do you think you're too old to be my pet anymore?"
Luna couldn't really concentrate because she was so fixated on the strange sensations building in her stomach. 
"Yah, are you listening to me?" Onew asked, waving his hand in front of her face. She broke of her trance and looked at him, "Huh?"
Onew smiled, "You're never alone, okay? I'll always be here for you."
Luna gulped as her heart would not stop constricting. 
Her walls were falling down.
--
January 3, 2014
"They decided to go with Krystal."
Luna blinked as she soaked in the information that the manger oppa just told her.
"What?" Luna asked. Her manager sighed, "I'm sorry, Sunyoung. They thought that it would be better if Krystal was in SM Ballad, because they wanted a softer voice since Taeyeon already has a booming one and-"
"No," Luna said curtly, "It's okay. I get it."
And then she walked out of the room and headed towards the vocal rooms. Luna found an empty one and sat in front of the piano. With a sigh she started practicing her scales. Again. And again. And again. Until her voice cracked and so did her mask. A tear slipped from her eyes as she angrily wiped it away and pressed the keys again to practice. 
Luna sighed and just threw her head on the keyboard. It was always like this. Krystal this. Krystal that. Krystal. Krystal. Krystal. People only saw Krystal in their group. Luna would practice so hard to perfect everything, yet the spotlight was still always on Krystal. Don't get her wrong, Luna loves the younger girl to death. But she always felt like she lost to her. The one thing that Luna thought she was better than Krystal was singing. But even in that, she lost. They just like her more. People just like Krystal more.
Luna took a deep breath and then let it out. It's okay. There will be more opportunities and more chances. She scoffed. Yeah right, chances don't really come around. 
Be strong. Luna looked at her reflection and smiled. She looked so miserable. Smile wider. Now she just looked fake. Luna shook her head, she just needed some fresh air. She walked out of the room and almost collided with Onew, who looked at her in shock. 
"H-hey," he said, offering her an awkward lopsided grin. Luna felt her heart flip before she muttered, "Hey."
And then she quickly escaped from his presence, very aware that he was staring at her retreating figure. This bad day was just getting worse. 
Higher. She had to build her walls higher. So that people couldn't see the weak and broken girl inside.
--
October 5, 2010
"Luna, you have to eat."
Luna shook her head, "I'm not hungry."
Victoria glared at the girl, "Sunyoung, you're going to faint if you don't put something in your system!"
"Really, unni," Luna said, "I'm not hungry. I'll eat later when I am."
"Unni, you said that twice already this week," Sulli said with concern, "Is something wrong?"
Luna shook her head, "No, I'm fine. Just no appetite. I think I'm just gonna go out for some fresh air."
The three girls looked at her quizzically (Amber was back home in America because of her injury.)
"I'll be fine, guys!" Luna said with a cheerful grin as she wore her running shoes and ran out the door. It was night time, so the air was crisp and felt cool against her skin. 
Truth was, Luna was on an extreme diet. There were so many comments about how fat she looked or how big her thighs were. So many comments saying she needs to lose weight, so many comments saying how skinny and pretty the other members were. 
When Luna puts her mind to something, she give it her hundred and ten percent. So she cut down her calorie count in half and increased her exercise intensity. She ran past the nearby parks and somehow ended up in front of SHINee's dorms. Luna huffed as she caught her breath from her run. She wondered if Onew was home.
"Sunyoung-ah!"
Luna turned around and was surprised. Well speak of the devil.
"Did you come all the way here to see this handsome oppa?" Onew asked with a devlish grin. Luna laughed and shook her head, "No, I just so happened to pass by on my jog, oppa."
Onew then frowned, "Sunyoung-ah, you got so small. Are you eating?"
"Of course I am!" Luna said, "Don't worry about me!"
"I don't know," Onew said, "You look like you've been starving yourself. I feel like I need to feed you."
"No thank you!" Luna replied, "Trust me, I've been eating."
"You liar," Onew said as he stared at her, "I bought chicken. I'll be kind and share with you."
Luna laughed, "Oh my goodness. Jinki oppa is willing to share his chicken?!?"
Onew grinned, "Yup! So come on, let's go eat it."
Luna shook her head, "No, I should go back. The girls are probably worried about me."
Onew frowned, "Yeah, and I'm worried about you, too. You look like a stick."
Luna panicked as her heart started beating fast and weird sensations were coming in her stomach while looking at Onew's concerned face. She blinked and said, "Uh... I. I'm fine. I'm gonna go now, bye!"
Onew grabbed her arm before she could dash off and he said in a serious voice, "You're not eating because of netizens."
Luna awkwardly laughed, trying to brush it off, "Ha ha ha, no, of course not!"
Onew's face didn't change as he gave her the serious look, "You can't fool me."
She bit her lip and looked down, "Maybe just a little."
"I told you not to listen to those comment!" Onew said, "They just mess with you. Honestly, they're just people who have too much time on their hands and want to criticize any little-"
"Oppa," Luna said, "I know. But some of those netizens are fans and I don't want to disappoint them and-"
Onew cut her off by placing his hands on her shoulders and looking at her square in the face. Luna blinked from the close proximity.
"You are beautiful just the way you are. Don't try to change yourself for them."
Luna stared into Onew's kind and warm eyes, feeling enchanted by them. How can someone have such friendly looking eyes? He pulled away, breaking Luna's trance on his orbs. Onew smiled at her and ruffled her hair, "Aigoo, my little dongseng."
Luna couldn't take the strange feelings any longer.
"O-oppa I really need to go now. Bye!" And she dashed off back to her dorm. 
These foreign feelings were unwelcome. Because feelings are a sign of weakness. 
--
April 3, 2011
Luna couldn't believe it. She won the women's high jump again! The crowd started roaring loudly and Luna felt Minho come up to pat her on the back. And then all of a sudden she felt something ram into her and her whole body fell over. Luna looked up and saw Onew lying by her side, giving her a huge grin. She laughed as she playfully hit him for his clumsiness. Minho helped her up and they left the jumping area, the crowd cheering loudly.
"Sorry, Sunyoung," Onew said sheepishly as they got to the side area as the show moved on to men's high jump, "I got to excited."
Luna laughed, "It's okay, oppa. I mean, it's you who will have to suffer the consequences of whole world watching you bulldoze into me."
Onew shook his head, "That's so embarrassing."
"Who knows," Luna said playfully, "People might even think you were madly in love with me or something."
Onew started laughing, "That's ridiculous! You're my little dongseng!"
For a second, Luna felt a sharp sting on her heart. She braced a smile on her face and said, "Haha, yeah. So ridiculous."
"Hey, let's go cheer on Minho! He's going to jump now!" Onew said excitedly as he walked over to watch. Luna nodded as she quietly followed him.
Of course it was ridiculous. She was Onew's dongseng. And he was her oppa.
Then why did it hurt so much?
--
August 15, 2011
"I'm so nervous!" Luna said, wearing the ridiculously cheesy white dress. Onew smiled next to her, "Don't worry. This is just for fun. Who cares if we win or lose."
Luna pouted. She was a rather competitive person. But then again, Luna was just thankful to have an opportunity to sing with Onew on stage again. She absolutely loved singing with him. And she like totally loved his voice. And maybe him, a small voice said in the back of her head, but Luna quickly shoved that aside. 
"From the blue team, we have the milky couple Luna and Onew!"
Luna took a deep breath before the two walked up to the stage and got introduced by the MCs. Luna didn't really pay attention, she could only hear the quick beat of her heart. Because of this trot stage, her and Onew practiced so much together. And their act had a lot of touching and being cutesy and stuff. Which Luna hated because she couldn't distinguish between her real feelings and acting. But more than anything, she was thankful to spend that much time with Onew. 
The song finally started and the two got into their positions and Luna put on her best "cute" face. Honestly, that whole performance passed by as a blur and Onew kept adding random lines and moves they never practiced here and there. Like that one time he popped up behind her with his "neukki" stare. Luna was really shocked at how close his face was to hers and her heart would not cooperate with her. The performance finally ended and the MCs were fawning over Onew's neukki act and Luna's aegyo. 
But the whole time, Luna wasn't paying attention. In fact, she was rather rigid as Onew ushered her to sit back down on their team's side. 
Crap. Luna looked over at her singing partner who gave his signature goofy grin. Her heart flipped again and the signals were flaring in Luna's mind. These continuous feelings, the quick beats in her chest, her giddiness in being around him, everything just suddenly clicked. 
Her walls were completely crumbled. 
She was totally in love with Onew.
--
July 30, 2013
"Breaking news! SHINee's leader Onew and After School's Jungah are rumored to be on a date. The inside sources have found an image of the two on what seems like a cozy date out on this warm summer night. Despite the 6 year between the older woman and younger man, they seem to be in a close and comfortable relationship. SM just released a statement that the two are close friends, but they are nothing more than that-"
Bleep. 
Luna scoffed as she turned it off. Nothing more than friends her . Well, looks like they finally got caught. Took the reporters long enough, the two have been dating for over a year now. Luna bit her lips as old and distant, yet very familiar feelings started arising in her chest. 
No, stop. It's been over a year. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
But she couldn't control the tear that slipped from her eye. A whole damn year as passed and she still was hung up over him. One whole freaking year! Luna angrily wiped away the tears. 
No more tears are going to be shed.  
Her walls were getting too weak. She needed to build it higher, stronger, sturdier. So that nothing will penetrate and nothing will hurt her anymore.
--
January 10, 2012
Luna had another duet with Onew. Ever since Luna realized her feelings for Onew, she tried to keep somewhat of a distance from him. She didn't know how to act. Feelings were for the weak, so she tried to suppress them, get rid of them. But nothing would work. If Luna didn't talk to him, she would feel sad. It would be good in the long run as maybe her feelings will fade away, but Luna couldn't ignore the fact that she was happier with him. 
She contemplated telling him, but she wasn't too sure. It seemed like she was just a dongseng to him. 
"Are you ready?" Onew asked her with a small smile. Luna looked at him and nodded. Well, her phase of staying away from him didn't last too long because of their SM town concert. They placed Luna and Onew in a duet because of the hot response their "milky couple" had become. 
Luna smiled back and nodded, "I am."
He looked so handsome in his rustic suit and slight makeup. Even his crazy fringes were tamed down by wax. The stage director motioned for Luna to go so she walked out and sang her part. 
"Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step
Keep your eyes locked on mine
And let the music be your guide"
Onew came out and stared singing as Luna sang the echo
"Won't you promise me?"
"Now won't you promise me, That you'll never forget"
"We'll keep dancing"
"To keep dancing, Wherever we go next."
Luna looked over at Onew and they made eye contact as they sang the chorus together in harmony. He smiled at her as he sang, her heart flipping like crazy.
"It's like catching lightning, the chances of finding
Someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling
The way we do
And with every step together
We just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance?
Can I have this dance?
Can I have this dance?"
Luna didn't know why, but she felt so free. For once, she wasn't thinking about anything else. She didn't think about the technique, the breathing, the way everything was rehearsed. Luna felt so... alive. With the surge of exhilaration, she deviated from their rehearsal and she ran up to the farther area of the stage and twirled around. She was laughing, from the pure joy in her heart as Onew sang his part. 
"Take my hand, I'll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with me
Don't be afraid, afraid to fall
You know I'll catch you through it all."
Luna made her way back to Onew as she sang the bridge, Onew adding his harmony to it as they stood back to back.
"Oh, no mountain's too high and no ocean's too wide
'Cause together or not, our dance won't stop
Let it rain, let it pour, what we have is worth fighting for
You know I believe that we were meant to be! Oh!"
Luna turned around and saw Onew had deviated from rehearsal, too. He was on his knee on the ground smiling at her. Luna looked at him in surprise as they kept singing. Her heart was beating so fast like it was going to pop out of her chest. 
"It's like catching lightening, the chances of finding
Someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling
The way we do
And with every step together
We just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance?"
Onew held out his hand in front of her as they looked at each other in the eyes, sparkling brilliantly. She reached out to put her small hand in his and she couldn't help but feel how perfectly it fit in his. Onew looked so handsome as he sang sweetly in front of her, eyes holding a special glint.
"Can I have this dance?
Can I have this dance?"
The song finally ended and they bowed before going off the stage. Luna never felt butterflies like this during a performance. She never felt freedom like this either. And she just knew, that her and Onew just shared a moment. 
And for once, Luna felt that little slimmer of hope.
Hope that maybe, Onew would feel the same way about her. 
--
January 12, 2012
Luna checked her reflection in the mirror. She was dressed in a warm, comfortable outfit with a big red scarf of protect her from the harsh cold. She didn't really do this much, but Luna asked Krystal to put make up on her, too. Onew asked her to hang out because he had something important to tell her. Her heart was beating so fast when he told her. Maybe... he was confessing to her. Luna knew for sure that he had to have felt that. There was something there from that performance. 
Excited, Luna skipped along to get to the designated cafe. She saw what looked like Onew, covered in a red cap and huge glasses. Luna's heart skipped a beat as she walked into the cafe and Onew waved at her excitedly. 
"Hi oppa," Luna said as she sat down, "Sorry I'm late."
Onew grinned at her, "It's fine. It's cold outside, huh? I already ordered us some hot drinks to warm us up!"
Luna smiled, "Thanks, oppa."
There was a strangely awkward silence until the server came and casually gave their drinks. Luna happily drank the warm hot chocolate and smiled, "Nothing like hot chocolate on a cold winter day."
Onew laughed, "I'm glad you like it. Anyway, so I wanted to tell you something important today."
Luna's heart started beating faster, "Oh yeah, what's up."
This was it. He was finally going to tell her. 
"I'm dating someone." Onew finally said. Luna blinked. Wait, what did he say? 
"It's pretty recent, it's been like a couple weeks and not a lot of people know. Only SHINee and some other hyungs. But I felt like I had to tell you, cause you're my favorite dongseng."
Luna opened , not knowing what to say. It felt like she just got slapped in the face. She finally recovered and put on her best smile, "Wow, oppa! Congratulations!! Why didn't you tell me sooner? Who is it?"
Onew smiled, "It's Jungah from After School! I really hope you'll like her."
Luna's smile faltered for a small microsecond before she said, "Oh, that unni is so pretty! And amazing at singing!"
"She definitely is," Onew said happily, "I hope you two can get along. I want my two favorite girls to be good friends."
"Of course!" Luna said with a fake grin, "Um, oh my gosh. I just got a text from Victoria. She's having a mental breakdown. I really should get going."
Onew frowned, "But you just got here."
"I'm sorry oppa, we can play longer next time!" Luna said, quickly getting up.
"Wait, I'll walk you back."
"No!" Luna yelled, "I mean. No, it's fine, oppa. I don't want to burden you. Bye!"
Luna dashed out of the cafe and kept running until she was a good distance away. The tears that she held in spilled out. She was so stupid. What in the world made her think that Onew would like her back? Luna angrily wiped the tears away as she kept walking. Her makeup that she never really does smudged all over her face, but she didn't care. She just wanted to curl into a ball and cry. 
She finally made it to the dorm room. Luna ignored the worried questions of Victoria and climbed into her bed to cry. Onew thought of her as his dongseng. That was it. Luna felt so stupid...those feelings from the performance. All of those emotions were onesided, only she felt it. How pathetic. Luna cried into her pillow, not holding anything back.
She let down her walls and exposed her heart. She gave that fragile thing to Onew and now it was crushed. 
And Luna was too tired to try to put those pieces back together. 
Her wall was broken.
--
September 20, 2013
Luna watched Sulli bawl on ground. She picked up the girl and settled her down on the couch. 
"Jinri-ah, it's okay," Luna said reassuringly. Sulli shook her head, "No it's not."
Luna sighed. Today was the one day Luna had rest before going out to practice for her musical. It was the one day when she was going to have the dorm room to herself. But then the scandal happened. The news of Choiza and Sulli on a "date" spread like wildfire and Sulli was immediately brought back to stay in the dorm. And now, even Luna was stuck here because of all the reporters, waiting outside of their apartment. The other members couldn't even get in, so Luna was alone with the crying girl. So much for her day of rest.
"It's just a scandal. It will pass." Luna said. Sulli looked at her with her tear-stained eyes, "You don't understand unni. It wasn't even anything."
The girl started sobbing more and Luna took a deep breath. Let's be strong for Jinri. 
"What do you mean?" Luna asked softly. Sulli sniffled, "We broke up yesterday after we had . That's all he wanted, unni. And now the whole world knows about it."
Luna froze, jaws tightened. She clenched her first as her old memories came swirling back. Luna shook her head and said, "So you guys are done?"
Sulli nodded, "I should have listened to you unni, all guys are pigs. I don't know what I was thinking. I thought he was different. He was so kind and gentle and..."
"Those are the worst kind," Luna said softly. She hugged the younger girl, "It's okay. I hurts now, but you're going to get over this. And all of F(x) will be here with you."
Sulli sobbed, "People are saying so many things. I don't even want to see what criticisms people will jab at me. I don't even want to hear his name or see his face."
Luna shushed her as she patted her head, "Jinri-ah. It's okay. He'll get what he deserves in the end."
And the two girls sat there, awkwardly tangled in each other tears and embrace.   
--
January 20, 2012
Ever since Onew told her about Jungah, Luna avoided him like the plague. She made sure they were never within the same proximity. Onew kept calling and texting her, but Luna adamantly ignored him. She hoped he got the picture that she didn't want to associate with him. 
One day, she was walking in the halls when she saw Onew talking to a Super Junior member in the halls. Luna froze and quickly turned around to run away when she bumped into someone. 
"Whoa, are you okay there?"
Luna looked up and saw Joonmyeon smiling at her with his kind eyes. She nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, Joonmyeon oppa."
He grinned at  her, "It's fine."
He looked past her and then looked back down at her, "Are you and Onew okay? He's looking over here with great concern."
Luna smiled at him, "It's fine. Hey, oppa, let's go eat some food, yeah? I'm super hungry!"
She tried her best aegyo while linking arms with him. Joonmyeon laughed and said, "Okay, let's go eat!"
Luna let out a breath of relief as they left the vicinity of Onew. 
"You can go now," Joonmyeon said. Luna looked at him in confusion. He just laughed, "I know you used me as an excuse to get away from Jinki hyung. He's gone now, so you're in the clear."
Luna was shocked. How did he know?!? Joonmyeon laughed again, "I'm a mind reader."
Luna turned red before saying, "N-no! Let's go eat. I did not just use you, oppa. I would never! Let's go!"
She quickly marched ahead of him to go out of the company. Joonmyeon smiled and followed after her.
-- 
February 10, 2012
"So you chose Suho?" Luna asked. Suho nodded, "Yup. Guardian. I think that suits me, don't you think?"
Luna and Suho were chilling in the practice room, drinking their water after a day of practice. Luna started hanging out with Suho a lot more often as he kept hitting her up, even though he was probably super busy preparing for debut. As bad as it might sound, it almost felt like she was replacing Onew with Suho.
"It does!" Luna said with a giggle, "But it's strange hearing someone say that with their own mouth."
Suho smiled, "I am quite the charming talker."
Luna laughed when she felt Suho staring at her. When did his face get so close?
"Sunyoung-ah," Suho whispered, his face super close to hers, "I think I like you."
And then he closed the small gap between them. Luna opened her eyes in shock, not expecting a pair of warm lips attacking her own. What the heck was going on? She didn't know when but Luna closed her eyes and started responding to his kiss. It felt good. She felt so wanted and secure and loved. His tongue started invading and Luna felt strange pleasurable sensations she never felt before. He pushed her down on the ground without breaking the kiss. Luna's arm traveled around his neck until he finally pulled away for air. They were both gasping harshly, Suho still hovering over Luna. 
He looked at her and said, "Will you be my girlfriend?"
Luna looked at him with hesitation. The kiss was nice. It felt great. But she didn't know if she liked him. 
"I know you just recently had all that stuff with Jinki hyung," Suho said, "But I really like you. Will you think about it?"
Oh what the hell. What was holding Luna back? Onew was off in his own relationship with a hot older woman, what was to stop Luna from dating a hot older guy. Suho was good looking and so nice and not to mention a gentleman. Luna smiled at him and said, "I guess we could go on a date or two."
He looked at her with a huge smile, "Really?"
Luna blushed as she shyly nodded. He swooped down to place another kiss on her lips.
Maybe Suho could put together the broken pieces of her heart. 
--
May 22, 2012
Luna sighed happily as she snuggled in Suho's arms. They've been dating for the past 4 months and it has been a crazy experience. He was quite the... expressive lover. He would always kiss her and touch her in ways that felt so good. With Suho next to her, Luna practically forgot about Onew. He gave up on her too and stopped trying to contact her. Which kind of hurt, but whatever. That's what was needed anyway. 
Suho stirred and he opened his eyes. Luna grinned at him and gave him a chaste kiss on his lips, "Good morning."
He sat up and yawned as he stretched, "Good morning." He got up and started to put on his clothes.
"You have to go already?" Luna asked with a pout. Suho nodded as he pulled his shirt over his head, "Yup."
Luna just watched Suho get ready from the bed when he turned around, "Aren't you going to leave, too?"
She sighed, "I guess." Luna wrapped the blanket around her body to go look for her clothes. Even now, Luna was still very self conscious about her body.
"My gosh," Suho snorted, "I've already seen everything, no need to hide it."
Luna glared at him before throwing the blanket off of herself and she put on her clothes.
"Anyway, Luna," Suho said once she finished putting her clothes on, "I have to talk to you."
"What is it?" Luna asked.
"We should stop meeting up." he said nonchalantly as he put his watch on. 
"W-what?" Luna asked, shocked by this sudden topic.
"I can't date you now," Suho said, "I'm an idol, too now. I should focus on my career."
Luna was speechless. She had no idea how to respond to Suho's ludicrous statement. 
"Besides, we were just having fun, right?" Suho asked. Luna looked at him in shock, "So you just... you just wanted ?"
"Oh come one, Sunyoung," Suho said, "Don't act like you weren't using me either. You were totally using me to forget about Jinki."
"I-I"
"Don't even try to deny it," Suho said, "I knew. I knew that you were emotionally unstable and so I went after you. Honestly, I didn't think it would be that easy, but hey. It was fun, right?"
Luna couldn't believe what she was hearing, "Yeah, you're right it was fun."
She slapped him in the face and grabbed her bag, "Fck you, Kim Joonmyeon." Luna stormed out of the room, tears flowing down her face. She went into the women's bathroom and locked herself in a stall. Luna crumpled down as she let out the hurt. 
Was she that unwanted? Was she that unlikeable? How much more can her heart handle? Park Sunyoung, you're so stupid, she thought to herself. What was she doing with her life? Luna took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. She was going to focus now. She was going to completely forget about people and relationships and focus solely on music and her career. Luna was going to rebuild those broken walls. 
No more getting hurt.
--
June 12, 2013
"Congratulations, F(x)!"
The crowd cheered as the girls went to the front to get their trophy for M! Countdown. Luna put on her best smile while Victoria rattled on with her thank you speech. But the whole time, she felt uncomfortable as Suho was standing right behind her. Exo and F(x) were always on the stage together these days. The other f(x) girls were really close to the exo guys, so they always stayed for each other's encore stages. Which made Luna super uncomfortable. Because of her whole thing with Suho, she never got close to any of the Exo guys. 
In fact, she just didn't bother being close to any guy. Because all men are pigs. After the encore, exo and f(x) went off the stage. Luna left quicker than everyone else, hoping to avoid the antagonist of her story.
"Hey, Sunyoung."
Well speak of the devil. Luna froze as Suho pulled her wrist and turned her back around. 
"What?" she asked sternly. 
"I just wanted to say sorry," he said. Luna's eyes widened in shock but then she quickly narrowed them, "What the hell do you really want to say?"
Suho groaned, "I really am saying sorry. I'm sorry I was a total douchebag to you and hurt you, okay?"
Luna rolled her eyes, "And you randomly just want to say this out of the blue after a year?"
"Can't you just accept an apology?" Suho asked. Luna glared at him, tears b her eyes, "I don't know about you, but I definitely find it hard to forgive someone who said they liked you, took away your ity, and then left you."
Suho sighed, "I really am sorry that I hurt you."
Luna shook her head, "No you're not. Don't act like you care."
She turned to leave when she heard Suho muttering to himself, "Ah . What do I tell Jinki." Luna turned around, "What did you just say?"
Suho looked surprised and he quickly muttered, "Nothing."
"No," Luna said, "You said something about Onew."
"I... uhh"
Luna glared at him and Suho gulped, "He told me to beg for forgiveness or he's gonna beat the crap out of me again."
"What?" Why the hell would Onew do that, "Why would he beat you up?"
Suho rolled his eyes, "How the fck would I know?  He already beat me up twice. Can you just forgive me already? I said I was sorry. What else do I have to do?"
Luna smiled coyly at him, "I actually don't mind the thought of you getting beat up."
And she turned around to walk away. Why the hell was Onew coming back into her life? She shook her head. Don't go there. You're stronger now. 
--
July 29, 2014
Luna sighed as she lied down on the ground of the practice room. With their red light promotions at an early end, she had a lot of free time. In fact, almost too much free time. Luna took this time to practice sharpening her dance moves. Well it was good, she needed some rest anyway.
"Care for some company?"
Luna looked up and saw Onew smiling by the door with a smile and two drinks in his hands, "I brought some juice, too."
He walked in and sat next to Luna, who looked away. Onew grabbed her hand and placed the drink it, "Here."
Onew leaned back and drank his juice while Luna just stared at the drink in her hands. She hadn't talked to him since their moment at the park which Luna immediately regretted.
"Just because I talked to you last week doesn't mean that things will go back to how they were, Jinki." Luna said quietly. Onew let out a small smile as he took another sip of his juice, "I know."
Luna shook her head, "No, you don't know. You don't know anything!"
When Onew didn't respond, Luna finally looked at him and said, "You knew didn't you? You knew about my feelings for you?"
"Sunyoung-ah..." Onew softly said. Luna interrupted him, "You knew I freaking liked you but you ignored it and wanted to keep doing what would make you comfortable without changing anything about our relationship."
"Sunyoung-ah, listen to me," Onew said, looking at her in the eyes. She shook her head, tears b her eyes, "It was so painful. The past two years of acting like nothing was wrong, that my heart wasn't shattered into a million pieces by the guy I trusted and loved the most."
Onew looked down and didn't say anything. The tears spilled down her face as Luna said quietly, "You said it would be me and you against the world. You said I don't have to be strong alone, that you'll always be here. And then you left."
"Sunyoung-ah, I never wanted to leave you. But you kept pushing me away and-"
"Well what the fck was I supposed to do?!" Luna shouted angrily, tears spilling gloriously down her face, "You already moved on. You had another woman. I wasn't going to cling onto you."
Onew sighed as he reached over to give her a hug. Luna flinched and backed away, "Don't touch me."
The look on his face was one that Luna would never forget, a mixed expression of hurt, confusion, and regret. 
"Sunyoung-ah, I'm sorry for hurting you like that." Onew said genuinely. Luna's heart started flipping and she willed her heart to stop acting up again. She abruptly stood up, "Sorry, Jinki. I thought that maybe we could start talking again and at least be acquaintances, but I thought wrong. I have to go."
Luna turned to leave when she felt Onew grab her wrist and pull her around into his arms. She looked up at him confused, "What are you-"
He silenced her with a kiss. His soft lips were pressing into hers, one hand holding her face and the other s around her waist. It was as if all functioning of Luna's brain turned off and all logic flew out the window. Waves of this tingling sensation traveled up her body and she closed her eyes and started to respond to the kiss. For a moment she forgot about all the pain and tears she shed over this boy. Their lips were moving in unison and it gave Luna a surge of feelings she forgot existed. It felt so right.
And then her brain finally . She immediately pulled away from him and slapped him.
"You're the worst." Luna said, tears b her eyes again as she turned to leave. He pulled her wrist once more and said, "Wait, Sunyoung, listen to me."
"No, leave me alone! It's been two long damn years, I just got over it. Why are you doing this to me?" Luna collapsed on the ground and started to cry. , dude. She thought she was strong. Luna spent the past to years making herself stronger, but here she was crying in front of the man she vowed to never cry in front of again. Onew knelt down next to her and pulled her in a hug. Luna didn't have the power anymore to push him away. She just cried. 
"Why can't you just leave me alone?" she whispered. Onew sighed, "Because I like you."
Luna laughed maniacally as she pushed him away, "Please stop."
He grabbed her face and made her look at him. Damn Onew for being so good looking and making her heart beat so fast. 
"Listen to me. I like you, Sunyoung. Not as my dongseng but as a woman."
Luna couldn't really hear anything for a second and she swore the world stopped moving. All she could hear was the beating of her heart. Luna shook her head and pulled away, "Stop being ridiculous. You have Jungah unni and-"
"Sunyoung, we broke up 9 months ago." He said. She looked at him in shock. How come she never heard about this? Rumors like this would have been swarming around in the company.
"We broke up because I realized my feelings for you." Onew said earnestly. Luna shook her head, "I... this is just ridiculous. And what, you expect me to open my arms for you? I don't understand what's going on in that head of yours but-"
"No, I wasn't expecting that," Onew said, "Why do you think I waited? I was going to approach you slowly and... I'm sorry for kissing you. I didn't mean to, I mean I don't regret kissing you, but I'm sorry about the way it was executed."
Luna hated herself for thinking how cute Onew looked, rambling on by himself. No, be strong. Luna closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, oppa. I don't think I'll ever be ready."
She turned to leave as she heard him say, "I'll wait."
Luna shook her head as she left the room, her heart spiraling out of control. She was not going to pull down her walls anymore. She wasn't foolish enough to let him in twice.
--
August 1, 2014
It was a lazy day for Luna. She woke up late and cooked herself a yummy breakfast. Her plans for the day was working out, watching her new favorite korean drama, and reading. Krystal had a meeting for a new drama, Amber was MCing, and Victoria was filming for a new music video. Thus, Luna had the whole apartment to herself. She hasn't had a day like this in forever. She hummed as she put away the dishes and sat down on the comfortable sofa to read.
As she was getting immersed in the fantasy world of Jane Eyre, ther doorbell rang. Who could that be? She threw a sweater on and opened the door.
"Hey."
Onew was smilling as he held a bag of food, "Thought you might like some company."
Luna shook her head and was about to close the door when Onew pushed his way through and put the bag of food on the kitchen counter. He took his jacket off and settled in the couch, "Wow, your apartment is so nice now. And everything looks so chic."
"Jinki, what are you doing here?" Luna asked with narrowed eyes. Onew smiled, "Victoria told me you were alone and that you would probably want some company. I brought movies so we can watch them just like the good old days."
"Oppa..."
"Come on, Sunyoung, I came all the way here, you're not gonna kick me out, are you?" Onew pouted and looked a her with puppy eyes. Luna sighed in defeat and sat next to him on the couch.
"What movies did you bring?" Luna asked him. Onew smiled widely as he excited talked about the different movies he brought. He even brought kettle corn (Luna's favorite) and candy to eat while watching the movie. They spent the whole day watching movies and it felt... nice. Her heart was beating erratically again and Luna sighed. 
How can anyone hate Lee Jinki? It was impossible. Even for her. Especially for her.
--
August 15, 2014
Luna walked into the practice room, a little confused. Taemin wanted to ask her some stuff about dancing so he asked her to meet at the SHINee dance room. Which confused Luna because a) she never really talked to Taemin and b) Taemin was a great dancer. She had no idea why or how she would help him. 
"Taemin?" she called out. What the heck the practice room was empty. Luna took out her phone to call him, when a song suddenly came on. Onew walked in from the door and he was singing with the music.
"Take my hand, I'll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with me."
Luna looked at him with wide eyes as he came closer to her and smiled as he kept singing his part of their old duet.
"Don't be afraid, afraid to fall
You know I'll catch you through it all."
Onew stood in front of her and he smiled his usual warm smile, melting Luna's insides. His eyes twinkled as they told her to sing with him. And so she did as the bridge came up.
"Oh, no mountain's too high and no ocean's too wide
'Cause together or not, our dance won't stop
Let it rain, let it pour, what we have is worth fighting for
You know I believe that we were meant to be! Oh!"
Onew was staring directly at her and just like their old performance, Onew went down on his knee and sang to her. Luna's heart was constricting like crazy and she couldn't help but smile as they kept singing. 
"It's like catching lightening, the chances of finding
Someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling
The way we do
And with every step together
We just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance?"
Onew held out his hand and he sang his part, "Can I have this dance?" Luna stopped singing and looked at him. He was so handsome and her heart would always beat on its own accord. Was she willing to let him in again? 
"Sunyoung-ah," Onew said, looking straight into her eyes, "Can I have this dance?"
His hand was still held out and Luna looked at it. She looked at his kind face and didn't know what to do. Even after all these years, she still liked him. Those feelings, she tried to suppress them but they never disappeared. And now here he was, asking this loaded question. Can I have this dance? WIll you let me in? Will you trust me again and let me hold you and love you?
Luna smiled as she placed her hand in his. She was tired of being alone. She was tired of crying and being unhappy. She wanted to trust people again.
Onew smiled as he pulled her in for a hug, "I promise you'll never be alone again."
"Good, cause I don't want to be alone anymore," Luna replied into his chest. He grinned at her, "Can I take you out on a date. Let's go get ice cream."
Luna laughed, "Oppa, I'm not 14 anymore."
"Okay well then... shall we go get drinks? Like adult drinks?" Onew asked, eyes twinkling. Luna shook her head and laughed, "On second thought, ice cream will do."
He smiled and said, "I love you, Park Sunyoung."
Luna grinned, "I guess I love you, too."
And then Onew sealed the deal with a kiss. 
--
Being strong. That's what Luna was. She thought that being strong was building up these barriers and walls to protect herself. That by protecting herself, she won't get hurt and that was being strong.
But in all honesty, that's being weak. Real strength is when you're willing to let down those walls. Real strength is when you're able to let someone in and take the chance of getting hurt. 
Real strength is trusting people and loving people.
Luna smiled as she walked in the cool night, hand in hand with her boyfriend. And no one showed that better to Luna than Onew.
"You're awfully giggly today," Onew mused. Luna laughed and squeezed his hand tighter, "I'm glad that you're here with me."
He grinned and kissed her full on the lips.
Because real strength was not being alone.
--
A/N: Hi guys~! I hope you guys liked this one. I poured my heart and soul into this oneshot, so please leave a comment T^T This is a tribute to the first Luna coupling that I fell in love with. LUNEW~! WAHOO! Anyway, I'm sorry for not updating Chiaroscuro. This oneshot has been blocking my wheels turning for any other story. So now that I barfed it out, I should be in the clear for the other fic. Also, I think I'll continue the Luna/Chanyeol one since people seemed to have liked it. Anyway, please leave a comment or love for the LUNEW couple. Until next time~!