A/N:

So yeah, have the next part, though I wanted to wait until I have a poster at least haha XD but who knows how long that is going to take and you can have something to chew on, while I'm still trying to finish up the HV update ;3
A huge percent of this is flashback, so yay, you can see how they "met" or rather how Woohyun observed him haha. It's still pretty sad, but may it all make sense to you when you are done with this chapter. It should give you the insight to understand why Woohyun is the way he is and why Sunggyu can hardly recognize him.

Thanks for the comments so far <3 keep it up~ /aegyo/

Just a small warning of slightly bad language below -cough-

But his whole world changes soon.
One of the reasons is that he realizes Sunggyu will graduate in the next school year. That means Woohyun won’t be able to continue his observations. The thought of losing the older boy makes him depressed. Sunggyu will move on to a high school, while Woohyun will have one more year left without him. He doesn’t know how he is supposed to go on without the older boy, especially since they probably won’t meet again in high school. The chances are low that he will enter the same school as Sunggyu, which leaves him with very limited options. He can either it up and get over his little crush or he can gather his courage and confess.

Woohyun thinks he still has one year to decide, but he’s wrong about that.

It was just the beginning of his worries.

Woohyun’s father lands in the hospital shortly before the school years ends. His liver failed him and now he needs a new one. The operation costs a lot of money though, which they don’t have. It results in his mother working even more, but the real hit comes a few days later when she asks him to sit down at the table with her.

“Woohyun, do you like school?”

He blinks. “Yes! It’s fun.”

She seems a bit disappointed about his answer and the boy shortly wonders why. Shouldn’t his mother be proud of him? “So you wouldn’t like…maybe taking a break for a year?”

“A year? But our school break isn’t that long.”

His mother leans over the table to grab his little hands between hers. The skin is rough and dry from all the hard work, but the touch is soft. “You know that your father needs a new liver, right?”

He looks at her and nods. She smiles weakly. “And it costs a lot of money. I calculated and I won’t have enough money as fast as he needs it. We only have one option left and believe me, honey, I wouldn’t do this to you if there were any other way.”

Woohyun frowns. Panic starts to spread in his guts. “What did you do, mom?”

“It’s just for one year. It’s for your father.” She looks at him with teary eyes and squeezes his hands when he tries to break free.

He feels tears welling up in his own eyes. “You made me drop out of school?!”

“I’ve already talked about it with your homeroom teacher. You are excused for a year and-“

Woohyun rips his hands free and jumps from the chair. “No! I don’t want to take a break! What about my friends? What am I supposed to do for a whole year?”

She stands up and walks over to him, but Woohyun slaps her hand away. “Honey, please, do you want your father to die?”

“WHY SHOULD I SUFFER FOR HIM? He was practically dead all along! He can do us a favor and die!” He shouts and stomps his feet.

His mother slaps him hard and Woohyun stumbles to the side. He puts a hand to his burning cheek and lets the tears fall free. “Don’t say things like that, Woohyun! He’s your father!”

“He’s a waste of money!” He retorts and now his mother is crying too.

“Go to your room, Woohyun. We will talk about this when you’ve calmed down.” She turns around and starts walking away.

The boy stands up and grabs items close to him. He throws them to the ground without caring if they get smashed. He hates his mother for deciding this for him. He hates his father for eating up all of their money. He hates himself for being a coward.

Now he’ll never see Sunggyu again.
 

A week passes like a dream. Woohyun is busy with working and his college classes, but the time in between is filled with reminiscing about the past. Sunggyu’s smell is everywhere and the Givenchy bag in the corner of his room seems to taunt him every day. He doesn’t meet the older man again. Ailee had re Tuesday for her shift, which left him to stay in the back of the bakery for the rest of the week. She never mentioned any pink-haired guys and Woohyun is left in his own world. He isn’t sure if he even wants to meet the older man again. Does Sunggyu still remember him? He doubts it since their only meeting was short – and probably important to him.

He goes out clubbing like every weekend, but Woohyun has set a goal for himself: he has to forget about their meeting. The man clothes himself in the best designer items he can find and only when he’s fully-clothed Woohyun is satisfied. He checks himself in the mirror. I have to be careful today. I don’t want another pair ruined like last time.

He has already skipped a lot of meals under the week, so that he will enough on the weekend. The problem of the stained pair of pants is still on his mind. He needs new clothes soon anyways, since he can’t walk around in the same clothes for months. Woohyun rubs his forehead. He has a terrible headache, but he can’t skip the clubbing. It would hurt his reputation and he really needs to forget about Sunggyu. He’s positive that it won’t be hard to do so in the crowd.

The man enters another club than last time. It’s a bit smaller but still one of the most expensive places in Seoul – if you’re not a celebrity that is. Woohyun is being welcomed with open arms. Everyone knows his face already. He baths in the cheers, enjoy the little slaps on the shoulder and takes in their buttlicking with a smile. This is his home, this is what he needs - this is who Nam Woohyun is now. He is no longer a weak kid without options.

 “A shot for everyone.” He tells the barkeeper and the people around him cheer.

A girl pecks his cheek and Woohyun slaps her in return. He takes a shot himself and soon one becomes two and more. He just nods when someone asks him for a drink and soon his world is a blur of loud music and bitter alcohol. Maybe there are even drugs involved, but he is too tired and busy to care. Woohyun is being dragged to the dance floor and he lets himself fall back into the familiar game. Someone s his and breathes on his neck, but he doesn’t care and just leans his head back to give the stranger more skin to attack. There is another pair of hands sliding under his shirt while hips grind against hips. Woohyun grabs the person in front of him rather roughly and presses their lips together in need. The three of them dance too close, too dangerous – it’s not even dancing anymore, just shameless making out. Although he doesn’t know those two, he feels safe right there between them. He can’t fall over this way and his mind tells him that all of those touches and kisses are out of love.

The picture of Sunggyu enters his mind and Woohyun gasps. He pushes the girl away and makes a quick retreat to the bar. He feels his throbbing in his pants, screaming at him to get back on the floor to finish the business, but Woohyun just can’t – not with Sunggyu in his mind. He feels dirty inside for touching those people and letting them do the same to him. How can he even think of the other man when he has no right to ever touch him? Woohyun would just taint him with his hands. You are dirty. Even with all this you are still dirty, Nam Woohyun. You’re the dirt people walk on. Did you forget that?

He gulps down a glass of tequila. It feels like his head is going to explode soon and Woohyun has problems keeping himself up his feet. I’m not dirt….I have money. No one walks over me…

A body presses against his from behind and hands crawl up his stomach. Woohyun wants to vomit on the spot. “Let’s continue where we’ve stopped. I know you want it.”

“I’m not in the mood.” He slurs out and pushes him away weakly.

Woohyun stumbles to the side and the man catches him with a chuckle. “Oh come on. That’s what you’re here for, right? You’re not throwing your money around just for the fun after all. I’ll make you feel good.”

He hisses and throws a punch at the guy. Woohyun swear he can hear his nose break and his blurry mind registers a trail of blood along the guy’s face. “! Are you insane, ?”

“I’m no ! A wouldn’t have so much money!” He retorts with a short laugh and staggers towards the exit. He has problems finding it because a security guy is by his side a moment later and is friendly enough to show him the exit – by throwing him out of the backdoor.

Woohyun stumbles into the dark alley and knocks against a wall. He starts laughing again and slides down to the ground. He doesn’t even know what is so funny. He should probably care about his clothes getting dirty, but his body is too tired and his mind is too full with pain. “I’m no !”

He groans and closes his eyes. The headache doesn’t disappear and the strange feeling in his gut also stays. “This jacket is…Rick Owens!”

Woohyun tries to stand up but he just falls down again – with his knees into a puddle. “…these are Saint Laurent! DO YOU HEAR ME?”

He whines and makes another try, this time taking the wall as support. “Givenchy…ANYONE CAN BUY THAT.”

The man doesn’t know why he is creaming or at who, but he figures a drunk doesn’t need a reason. “DO YOU HEAR ME?”

“The whole block hears you, geez.” A voice speaks to him and Woohyun tries to make out the origin.

The smell of vanilla surrounds him like a motherly hug. “I’m not talking to a hallucination...”

He vomits out of nowhere and then his world goes black. Why are you here now? It’s too late.

 

When Woohyun wakes up, there is something warm and squishy in his arms. Everything is warm in general – something he is not used to. His sleepy mind doesn’t care though. He pulls the source of warmth closer and slides a leg around it. He turns his head a bit, his nose meeting with a mob of hair – soft and nice smelling. The scent is nostalgic and hypnotizing. Woohyun is about to fall back into a deep slumber when the thing inside his arms lets out a scream.

An elbow hits his stomach and then two hands push him out of the bed. He hits the ground with a yelp and his eyes snap open. Woohyun immediately squeezes them close again though since the brightness pierces his mind like a knife. “How dare you sneak into my bed, you damn ert?!”

A pillow hits him in the face, but Woohyun keeps it to shield his eyes from the sunlight. He squints and looks at the figure on the bed. Oh . “I knew I should’ve left you in that alley! Damn ert! Get out! Before I call the police, get out!”

Woohyun stares at him – at Kim Sunggyu. His black hair is all over the place and he isn’t wearing any glasses, but this is without fail him. He swore himself to forget him – heck, that’s why he drank so much – how did he end up in his bedroom? He wanted to forget about meeting them, but fate had taken his resolutions and thrown them over a cliff.

“What are you staring at?” Sunggyu grabs the blanket to cover himself – which was ridiculous in a way because he was wearing a shirt and boxers – but Woohyun is more fascinated by the cute blush on his cheeks.

He knows he shouldn’t stare. He shouldn’t find it cute. He shouldn’t be feeling like this again.

Sunggyu shouldn’t see him like this.

“I…I…” Woohyun starts but finds himself unable to form a right sentence. He his lips nervously. “Thank you.”

The black-haired man looks down to him with a frown. Then he’s even pouting. Woohyun curses inwardly. “Seems like you do have some manners, but you still have to leave.”

Woohyun stands up and looks for his clothes, but he can’t see them. “The room next to this one if you can’t remember.”

He attempts a shy smile and shuffles out of the room. ! my luck! Woohyun walks in the other room and finds his clothes neatly folded on a chair. His cheeks grow warm when he thinks about the fact that Sunggyu had probably taken them off him. He puts them on and wrinkles his nose because they smell like alcohol and cigarettes. He really needs to wash them soon.

The man quickly slips into his clothes and then even spots a glass of water and a pill on the little table next to the bed. He smiles sadly. Sunggyu is still as nice as before. No wonder that rich guy is trying to woo him. He feels a pain in his chest when he remembers Yongguk. Are they a couple already? Does Sunggyu have feelings for Yongguk?

Woohyun hits his head. “Stop thinking about it!”

He swallows the pill with the water and walks out of the guestroom. He looks around indecisively and peeks into Sunggyu’s bedroom, but the man is not inside it anymore. Woohyun hears noises from another direction and decides to go there. The apartment is not exactly big, but the guestroom is about the size of his living room slash kitchen slash bedroom. The place looks cozy and warm. There is this feeling of a home that Woohyun’s apartment is totally missing. Sunggyu has pictures on the wall and other little decorations that fill the rooms with love.

At the corner of his mind he wonders why Sunggyu is not living in a big mansion with butlers and maids or just in an expensive apartment. He doesn’t spot even one family picture.

The black-haired man is in the kitchen and has his back turne