Good Thing

Jessica walked the streets aimlessly not really knowing where to go after what had happened at home. The stinging in in her hand was growing all the more excruciating the longer she went by without treating it. The germs and dirt mixing into the blood and the cuts only to leave behind what Jessica knew would later become scars. Damn. She cursed under her breath due to the pain. 

She couldn’t go home though, because she knew that her aunt would be there awaiting her with a scolding and a date for her to start therapy. Jessica didn’t want that -- she wasn’t crazy. She was just upset and utterly angered and hopeless. She wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t. At least that was what she told herself everyday after waking up and before going to sleep. 

If she couldn’t get home then where was she supposed to go. To Taeyeon’s -- that wasn’t optional because she’s sick and tired of having Taeyeon look at her with pity in her eyes and then going on and on about how Jessica’s being stupid and wasting her life even though Jessica already knows that. To Sooyoung’s -- no because she’s already caused Sooyoung too much pain and disappointment simply because Jessica couldn’t change. She’s got to stop hurting her friends. 

But she can’t. 

She’s tried but it always comes down to having Jessica hurt them no matter how much she honestly wants to do something right for a change -- no matter how much she wanted to change. She couldn’t understand it. She couldn’t quite comprehend the reason why no matter how hard she tries to do something good, in the end it becomes a bad thing. Honestly she’s given up on being good -- why was it important anyway. I'ts not like being a good person will solve all your problems the only thing it will cause is getting walked all over simply because you were to good to do anything about it.

Jessica wasn’t like that. She wasn’t going to let anyone trample her. No, she wasn’t. 

She stopped in front of a drug store and contemplated her chances for being caught and thrown in jail for breaking and entering. It wasn’t really worth it -- she’d rather have her hand hurt like hell then go to jail but at this pace -- it wasn’t all that far from her future. 

She looked away and instead continued walking in the direction that her feet would carry her. 

It wasn’t fair. Her life wasn’t supposed to be this way. She wasn’t supposed to lose her parents the way that she had and she most definitely did not deserve to be living this way -- taking every day as if it would be her last. No, that’s wrong -- she’s been living her life as if she were already dead and truth be told she wasn’t far from it. 

She clutched her jacket tighter around herself. Her body was now registering the piercing cold after the adrenaline had subsided over time. 

Maybe she should run away. Run and never look back. Hopefully she’ll find something that she’ll be at least good at doing because how else was she suppose to live by. But what was she good at? Creating problems that took ages to fix -- that was her specialty but unless there was a job that required her to destroy a life; she wasn’t going to get anywhere. 

Even if she were to run away where would she go? Back to the US where she didn’t have any family? How would she even get the money to get an airplane ticket? 

She sighed. She couldn’t leave. After trying countless of times she wasn’t able to and the sole reason was Krystal. She didn’t want to leave Krystal behind but she also didn’t want to live the life that she was living. The only compromise was staying but not actually being there and that’s been working great up until now. 

What do you want to be when you grow up, Sooyeon? She remembers her mother’s words perfectly. I want to be a singer just like you. She remembers exactly the way she had replied and she also perfectly remembers just how confident she was when she had said that. Where had all that confidence gone? Burned to ashes like every other precious memories she had. Before everything came crashing down and burying her in the dark with no way out. She wasn’t the same as she used to be and she doubted her chances of ever seeing that girl again. 

She looked up and stared at an awfully familiar door in front of her. It’s been so long. The last time she was here she lost another important thing in her live. She should go -- leave and never look up. However there was something stopping her from leaving and all of a sudden the darkness didn’t seem so dark anymore. 

It was late, everyone inside would be asleep and although she didn’t want to bother anyone her hand was hurting bad. She couldn’t climb up the side of the house towards the window placed next to the big tree like she used to do when she needed a bit of light in her dark pit. It’s been so ing long, she won’t accept you the way you are now and you know that perfectly well. She stared at the door her gaze strong enough to pierce a hole through it. Turn around and walk away. She couldn’t -- she wouldn’t. she needed to know the truth. 

She walked away from the front door only to walk over to the gate that separated the front and backyard. She walked over and opened the gate already slipping through easily. She trudged around the house and studied the way everything has changed over the course of one and a half year. They said change was necessary when moving on. Jessica wasn’t expecting this or maybe she was. 

She stopped as soon as she spotted the tree and the window located adjacent the tree. She looked down at her feet looking for anything to throw at the window to try and capture the person’s attention. She found a few stray pebbles no bigger than coins and she started throwing them in the direction of the window. She’s never really good at throwing things so when a pebble collided with the glass emitting a soft clink  to contrast around the still night surrounding her, she smiled in triumph but it was short lived because it didn’t cause the person inside to stir from their peaceful sleep. 

She sighed before picking up a few more and continually throwing them towards the glass window. A few tries later (eight to be exact) the light switched on and a figure pushed open the window. Shock spread all around the person’s face -- shock and then uncertainty. 

“What are you doing here?!” The girl questioned as she eyed Jessica with still shocked eyes. 

Jessica tried smiling but it was resulting futile as a grimace made its way onto her face, “I need you're help.” 

She noticed hesitance in Sunny’s movements and Jessic