Angel of Death: Chapter 1- Save Me Please Save Me

               I look up to the sky as the clouds starts to form in grey masses. Looks like there might be a storm tonight. My feet move along the cold metal bare of the railing that lined up fencing around the edge of the roof top. I like the feeling of my skin touching against the cold surface of those bars, it gave me an illusion of being alive. Reaching into my pockets to find one of the instruments of death, a special tool given to all angels of the Death division to help us perform our tasks well. A watch that we can use to set any time and place within 24 hours of the day to let us be where ever we need to be. There was one set back with the tool, however, you can't reverse time more than 1 hour back. This is basically a tool to help us travel from one place to the other.

               I sigh looking through my list. Our Reaper's List usually contains the names, profile, and location of death people whose lives have reached its end. We don't choose our target, nor our job, but one thing we do know is to follow through with every order that's sent from above with no questions, no complaints, and most all execute them with no emotions attached. Everything works in that cycle  to keep the order of balance. I live through the day going with the flow of balance, and how things should be, but there are certain times, when the job weighs a huge sum of burden on my heart...that is...what is left of my heart.

               Bae Suzy, age 5. Cancer patient at Seoul National University Children's Hospital. I've been studying her for two days now, it's part of the job. We study our targets to pick the appropriate time, place, and opportunity to take them away. This little girl lives with her mother, since her father passed away. I've met her father before, he was a very nice man.

               "Mama...I'll get better won't I?"

               "Oh course baby, mama promise...mama promise you'll be well...then we can live happily again!" The mother sobbed holding on to her weak little girl.  

               I really hate children, mainly because when I see them they'll have to go away, and kind sweet old grandparents...

               The mother held onto the girl as if she knew the girl didn't have much time left. Humans are fascinating they don't know it, but they have that special sense in knowing when the time has come. I guess in human terms it's called sixth sense? Or...instincts? I don't know, I forgot the feeling a long time ago. With angels we just know. Humans are smart, but they don't use that wisdom, they're often blinded by things that don't matter, forget the important things in life, and in the end all they've gain is just a cold and lonely death. I really pity them a lot.

               The child had fallen asleep in her mother's arms. This was it, the perfect opportunity. I approached them from behind, the mother doesn't see me of course. I place a hand on the child's head. I could see her wrinkle her forehead in her sleep at my touch. Her complexion became paler, lips cold, and whatever color that was left in her face fading away. I felt her warm energy being drawn from her into my cold hands. The wisps  of energy disappeared as is touches my frosty hands.

               "Mister, who are you?" The little girl looked up at me with large eyes. " Are you my guardian angel?"

               "Of course." I told her without much emotions.

               I took her hand and sent her on her way. I could hear the mother painfully crying as I took her away. That was how it usually went, it is what I do every day of the week, for all eternity. Given there are days where I do take away bad people then it makes the day a little better, but I'm not one to judge, after all I only deal with death, not judgement.  

               Where they go isn't much of a mystery. Heaven, Hell, Purgatory...that is if they had died normally, according to plan, like a death angel who fail to reach his location on time, and fail to perform the job properly. Those are exceptions where things fall out of order, and that's where the other division has to intervene. It's crucial that we Death Angels do our job well. Other exceptions is when there's not enough help in the division, or an overflowing number of deaths in a day, so some humans fall out of the loop. That was my case...I guess. I died when I wasn't supposed to.

               "Lee Sungyeol, age 24, order of death: Old age , at the age of 85."

               That was my supposed records, but because of a loop hole I died at 24. I had committed one of the ultimate sin as a human, by failing to treasure the life that was given to me, and took my own life. Regret came much too late after. I woke up at the gates of Heaven to the Counsel of Angels. Because I wasn't apparently a 'bad' person I didn't go to hell, but for what I did, couldn't be forgiven easily without punishment, so I was sentence to serve in the Death Division for all eternity.

               I can't say my life was great while I was living. I was an only son to my parents. They divorced, and my mother remarried when I was 14. Her new husband had his own son who was 5 years older than me. At first we sort of go along, but soon I found out many things about him that wasn't so nice. He often touched me when our parents were away, and they were away a lot. He made sure I didn't have any friends at school, because he said I was his. He said he'll do worst if I told anyone. Years went by, until I reach 17 and our parents found out about what 'we' did. He blamed me for 'seducing' him, because he was the 'golden' child and I was the freaky kid with a bad reputation, of course they believed him. The saddest thing was mom didn't believed me. I ran away at 18, suffered from depression, was in and out of rehab, and finally took my own life at 24.  

               Looking back, if I had known I would stuck here taking away others lives from them, then I would've tried to live. 

               "Hyung!" A soft voice called me out. I felt a strong hand hit my shoulders as I leaned against the metal bar of the building's rooftop. I look over to find my fellow colleague.

               "Sungjong!"

               "Looking gloomy again I see. Who was it this time? A granny again?" Sungjong said teasingly trying to lighten my mood.

               "Ani, a five year old." I said look away back at the distance.

               "Ah I see...well you know, everyone had to die eventually, don't be so hard on yourself."

               I nodded, and remain silent.

               "How long do you have until your next stop?" Sungjong ask, " My next stop is in the next 5 minutes. It's a bank robber this time he said cheerfully."

               "Hn" I chucked at him , "Wish I can be as enthusiastic as you"

               "Hey, if you can't get away from it, might as well enjoy it." Sungjong said before waving a goodbye salute to me and disappearing.

               I looked at my agenda again to recheck the list.

               "Kim Myungsoo, age 23, Occupation: Popular Idol, Singer/Actor/Model, oldest son. Suffers from depression..Order of death: death by suicide. Over consumption of alcohol and pills...at age 23."

               He is listed to be dead three days from now. The 'death by suicide' stood out to me more than anything on the pages, as if it was bolded in print. From the beginning up until now, I haven't had to chance to deal with suicide deaths. It's always been accidents, murder, old age, and illness. I've always thought suicide was a choice by the person, and never a will of Heaven...sometimes I find new things about the Heavenly Order every day. That just didn't seem fair to the person at all  , but I guess they have to keep the numbers even to keep the balance between Heaven and Hell. Oh well, he's a celebrity, their lives are so messy anyways I guess I shouldn't care too much about him.

               I approach residence promptly. It was a very luxurious apartment loft located on the better side of town. This guy is rich! His apartment was decorated in black and white tones. There was a giant print of my victim above the black leather sofa. The figure in the giant photo pose coolly looking at the camera with confidence. The smirk he had in the photo revealed his dimples. Even though he look with on fully with confidence I could see in his eyes there was something hollow about them.

                Everything was nice and all, but one thing was evident, it was disgustingly messy. The place trashed, it was almost like someone had a mental breakdown and thrashed the whole place. Broken bottles and glass was everywhere, piles of papers, and books lay all over the floor. The scene look like an aftermath of a robbery. The owner of the place sure like his alcohol though. I looked through the house and there were pills falling from the medicine cabinet, and scattered in the sink, and over the counter. I found that they were anti-depressants, and some anxiety pills as well.

               I heard the security code beeping and the doors opening. It didn't faze me of course since he can't see me anyways. I studied the guy as he walked in. The moment he walked without bothering to take off his shoes he went towards the liquor cabinet, took a fresh bottle, and flopped down on the sofa.

               I sat across from him making myself comfortable on his coffee table. Placed an elbow on my knee, rested my chin in the palm of my hand and studied him. I was sitting a foot away from him, but I had him face to face. I bet all his fans would be so jealous and would want to be in this position. It was quite humorous watching this guy drink because he looks like a kid, and yet he's drinking so hard liquor, but soon I found myself lost in his eyes. They were familiar, eyes that I've seen before. Hollow,...emotionless...sad...lost. They were very much like my own. I felt a prang in my heart as I watch him drinking the night away. Watching him kind of hurt, because it reminded me a lot of my past. After 2 hours he still didn't search for food, and just stayed there silently in his own thoughts, but of course why would he care about food at this state. I was impressed by his high tolerance for alcohol.

               His phone ran two or three times before he answered it. I could hear some yelling on the other line. It was his boss.

               "You piece of what are you doing at this hour! Drinking again?! What if your fans found out? Then what? We'll be finished! Get your act together and report to the station within 2 hours!!! You're lucky you have the face or else we would've replaced you a long time ago you talentless prick! I already told the managers to send the car for you."

               "Yes I understand, I'll go get there in two hours CEO." He said monotonously.

               After the conversation with his boss, another call came in. I notice he looked sadden and frustrated looking at the caller ID.

               "Yeobseyo? Yes Umma?"

               "Myung-ah I need you to send me $65,000. Umma and Appa need money."

               "What? Again, but I just sent you $300,000 last month...Umma...I can't keep sending you that amount of money on the spot... Are you guys gambling away the money again?!" There were obvious tears and frustration in his eyes now.

               "Wae! Can't you just do that for your own parents? Remember we gave you life in this world! If not for us would you have what you have now? Can't you give us some gratitude? Aiigoo our own son and yet you can't even do that for us! Remember Myungsoo, remember whose fault it is that your brother died!? He was a precious child, unlike you... It was suppose to be you who died not him! ANYWAYS, I don't care if you have to buy one less Gucci bag, sleep with the CEO's daughter? Or be a male e JUST get us the money in two weeks!"

               After her rant I could hear the phone hanging up abruptly. And I thought my mother was bad, this guy had it pretty bad too. He grinned his teeth in frustration, and place a hand over his face. I began to understand this guy a little more. I followed him to his appointment. Apparently he was to go live on a music variety show in the next hour. When we got there his managers scolded him for smelling like alcohol. As he exit his van there were masses of fangirls surrounding the premises of the T.V. station.

               "OPPA! OH MY GOSHHH OPPAAA LOOK AT ME LOOK AT MEEE OPPPPA!!!!"

               "OPPPPPA I WANT TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN!"

               "OOPPPA OPPPPA LOOK AT ME OOOPPA OH MY goSH OPPPA YOU'RE SO HOT!"

               "OOPPPA OOPPPAA LET ME SLEEP WITH YOU!"

               "SHUT UP YOU OOPPA IS MINE!"

               "NO HE'S MINE !"

               "OOPPPPPAAAAAA"

               Kim Myungsoo, or rather L had his head down and didn't even interact with the fans on his way in. He wore a black cap to cover his eyes. I was floating behind him and I swear I could've popped an eardrum from all the loud screaming. I witness him getting more scolding by his higher ups for the lack of fan service, and reeking of alcohol on the way in.

               "You little ! You think you're big now that you got some fame? Show some service and respect to the fans or we'll lose money for your arrogance! Who do you think you are huh? You're just another replaceable face once you've lost your appeal." His boss yells. "And what the hell did you do to your face? Why is it all puffy and swollen?"

               I had to admit I didn't know celebrities had it so hard, having to deal with that kind of environment, and still keep up their false image with a smile. I partially wanted to take that guy instead  of L. He took the mental beating pretty well, and remain silent waiting for the stylists to come in before the show.

               I watched the show in the audience with the humans with interests. The show went smoothly it seem. He was completely different on stage. A young man full of dimply smiles, aegyos, and charisma. He answered, and acted very accordingly as if he'd been trained for years to do so. There wasn't a hint to anybody that he was a sad person at all, except... I see it in his eyes...they weren't shinning with happiness, they were tired, and hollow.

               "L-shii, there's been a recent rumor that you're actually a more aloof person off stage, and you actually aren't like your 'cheerful boy' image at all, some could say that you're even a depressing character, so the fans been sending in questions wondering if their L-Oppa is actually that kind of cold person? Is the 'cheerful boy L' a fake?" The host asks during the interview segment.

               The question took Myungsoo by surprise. He stayed silent for 2 minutes causing the audience whisper in question. The annoying host also showed a kind of attitude towards Myungsoo.

               "A..Ah..ani, of course not, I'm quite a cheerful person, I assure you that's just a rumor. You see I blank out a lot after schedules because I've been so busy with my new comeback, so it might appear that way, but I assure you it's not like that at all hehehe, I'm still very much like I am since debut, if not more of a more improved L." Myungsoo answered trying to save the situation. Then looking at the screen with the most forced smile I've ever seen anyone pull off, he look at the camera giving a wink and sticking out his tongue slightly. " You all believe Oppa don't you?"

               His action caused some fake laughs from the hosts, and other co-guests on the show.

               The show ended with the interview segment and Myungsoo returned backstage all flustered.

               "Hyung! What the hell was that?!" He called out to one of his managers, a narrow eyed man a few years older than him.

               "I don't know, I didn't think that host would pull out such a question. I swear I looked through the interview questions before the show, and I didn't see that there. Don't worry I'll call and have a talk with the higher up of the station to edit that part out!" The manager said.

               "How!? It was a live show...!" Myungsoo said rubbing temples. " I'm not going to hear the end of it now... from the CEO later...Aish!" Myungsoo cried out kicking the trashcan beside the sofa in the waiting room.

               3 A.M. I followed Myungsoo back to his luxury apartment. He sat down buried his face in his hands, his shoulders hunched over. I don't know why but I felt another prang in my heart as I watch him. Without my brain's consent I walk over to him as if he could feel me and places a hand on his back. I sat there with him for hours patting his back, even though he can't see me deep inside my heart I hope he could feel my sincerity. I sort of understand what he was going through, since I know the feeling too well, the feeling of anger, frustration, lost, and unloved. The loneliness of knowing there is no one to share your pain, the empty feeling of a worthless existence, not knowing what you really live for, and the guilt of having to put up a facade in front of everyone.

               Myungsoo went to take a shower and passed out on his bed. I had the strangest feeling that I've never felt before, even when I was alive, so I did something that I wasn't supposed to. In visible form I pulled out his covers, pushed his legs under it, and pulled his blankets up to his chest. My hands didn't listen to me. I found myself his head, and studying his sleeping face.

               My feet dangled over empty space floating above the familiar skyscraper as I sat on the metal bars. I felt a pat on my shoulders, looking over to see my lovely angel friend Sungjong.

               "Hyung! " Sungjong greeted me cheerfully. No matter what time of the day it was he always appeared in front of me with smiles, even after a mission. Sungjong isn't like me at all, he is named the Smile for Lemon Candy Death of our division, because he had such a bright personality. The job didn't faze him at all, while for some there might be some doom and gloom days, but for Sungjong no one ever seen him gloomy on the job. Since I'm his friend I sort of know him a little more, the thing with Sungjong is...the job doesn't bother him. Why? Because he once told me he really had no sympathy for humanity at all. He was glad to be away from it now that he's an Angel of Death. He doesn't hate humanity, but his views of it is just very skewed, no one can really blame him though. Sungjong also had a sad past, and he was betrayed by people he loved, and prosecuted for just being himself. He use to live in a very small and conservative town when he was alive, and around middle school to high school discovered his uality. The boy he loved used him, and made it known to the public that he was gay so he had a tough life dealing with constant bullying, which later caused his death. I at least got to live until I was 24, but Sungjong died at 18. Like me Sungjong was also one of those cases that died when they we're supposed to, but he doesn't take "doing what we do" as a punishment at all , so it was kind of the Counsel's mistake to put this "job" as his sentence for all eternity.             

               "Why the doom and gloom face again? Don't you have like two days free since your target isn't going to die until then?" Sungjong asks.

               "What are you talking about? I'm always like this." I denied, trying to make myself unreadable. I am really confuse right now, and I don't want him questioning me further about anything.

               " I dunno hyung, you look more bothered than usual" Sungjong shrugged, with mischief in his eyes. I stayed silent and he took a seat next to me. "By the way hyung, I've been meaning to ask you. Why do you like to hang out on this roof so much?"

               "This place brings back memories." I said quietly closing my eyes and taking in the cool breeze that hit my face.

               "Memories?"

               "I jumped off here when I was alive." I said dryly.

               "Oh!...I'm sorry..." Sungjong said sounding guilty.

               "It's ok, it's so long ago. It's a good place to think anyways." I said brushing it off. It's funny how I found friendship after death, actual good friendship. I'm really grateful to have Sungjong as a friend, if only we met each other in the past then maybe both of us wouldn't have ended up this way.

               I returned to Myungsoo's apartment around 6 A.M to find him getting ready for another appointment. He was booked for a radio talk show this time. Day Two of Target Observation began. I don't know why but I began to feel a discomfort that no Angel of Death should feel around this man. When I watch his life shattering before my eyes it really hurts. I hate the people who call him names, people who treat him like a money making tool, and people who harass him. I began to see more and more of how Myungsoo became the way he is. There really was no one in his life that actually cares about him. His fans...well...they watch him through the screen, or even stalk him, but none of them really know him. All they know is his image the "cheerful boy L-Oppa" with full dimply smiles, aegyos, and charisma. His parents are worst...

               I walked behind Myungsoo as he exit the radio station to take a call by the stairwell. It was break time. A shady woman approached him suddenly clinging to his arms.

               "L-OPPA!!! OH MY GOSH! I FINALLY GET TO MEET YOU!!!"

               "Wha...H...How did you get in here?" He called out in panic, pulling his arm out of her clutches.

               "OH L Oppa I follow you everywhere! Of course even here! It wasn't hard to get in! I...I came back just like in your songs!" The deranged woman said holding onto his arm tighter, and pulling his shirt.

               "L..Let go....he..hey stop it! If you're my fans support me by buying my CDs..o..or go to my concerts, d..don't do this kind of stuff....I'll even give you free tickets...I promise." He said pulling her off.

               After a day of following him around I found out lots of things about the Idol world. There were three types of fans that idols generally had, and Myungsoo was no different since he's a big star. They have regular fans, the nice, supporting, and lovely girls and boys. They have anti-fans who are mainly evil haters, and worse of all Sasaeang fans the crazed, stalker, weird ones that follow idols even to their private home and would do anything for attention. This woman here is an example of a sasaeang.

               He struggled with her for several minutes, as much as I like to help it wasn't my business to mingle in human affairs outside of my main mission, what more it's not even allowed that I step in.

               "P..Please calm down and let go of me." He said trying to be as polite as possible.

               "OPPA!  I LOVE YOU! IF YOU KEEP NEGLECTING ME I'M GONNA YELL ! I'll really do it!" She said pulling at her own shirt. Her sharp plastic nails tearing the lacey fabric. " I'll tell them you tried to molest me!"

               Myungsoo was in further panic now not knowing what to do. With a strong hand he pushed her off, the young woman fell and ran out the stairwell. Leaving an extremely confused, and stressed Myungsoo.

               By evening the media had Myungsoo all over headlines:

               CHEERFUL L-OPPA  IS A FAKE!

               CHEERFUL L ATTACKED A FAN!

               KIM MYUNGSOO A FAKE, AND A !

               L/KIM MYUNGSOO LAY HANDS ON HIS FANS!!!

               FAKE FLOWER BOY!

               A lot of other terrible things were said about him in articles and somehow there was an internet leak of a CCTV footage of the scene outside the stairwell where the woman ran out crying with improper clothes, and L exiting the same door a minute after. The image was too blurry to confirm if the young girl had any wounds on her or not.  Myungsoo's Company became furious at him. There were thousands of fan request letters and phone calls coming in requesting that L leave the company. There were of course a number of fans who still believed and supported him. The Company was in complete chaos. Not to mention a lawsuit. His life escalated for the worst quickly.

               I studied my Death clock as I sat inside his living room. Soon it was time, once the clock click at midnight, then his time will come. I look at him with sadness. Myungsoo sat drowning in alcohol once again. I could read him by now, he was in despair, probably feeling hopeless, resentful, and perhaps indifferent about his own existence. He pulled himself up making his way to the bathroom towards the medicine cabinet. His eyes sullen, red, and unfocused. Leaning against the wall with one shoulder he clumsily grabbed a bottle of anti-depressants.

               My heart felt irregular as I watch him. This has never happened before, I've never felt this nervous about taking someone's soul before. I sighed nervously pressing my lips together as I watch him ingest the bottle and pouring liquor down his throat. Something strange was happening to me, as I felt a pain in my chest.

               "Tick,... tick,...tick,...tic" I heard the Death clock, it stopped at the fourth and I knew what was to happen next.  

               He knees fell first, and without thinking I grabbed onto him before he hit the ground. I saw some drops of clear liquid fall on his face. Was I crying for this human?

               Impulse took over me as I place him on the bathroom floor. I place my hands on his abdomen, using all my day's energy to push out the substance, a stream of light can be seen from my hands entering his body. I pulled him over the toilet so he could puke out the contents. I notice he wasn't regaining consciousness. He has beads of sweat forming on his forehead, and he was breathing hard. I pulled him to his bedroom to lay him down. There was only one more option left for me to do, I got on top of him, positioning myself on his stomach, I gathered all my energy and lean forward facing him. With not much thoughts I placed my lips on top of his. I pressed at his face with my thumb to open his mouth. The stream of energy emitted from my body into his. I could feel myself weakening slowly and darkness engulfed my vision. I lost consciousness as well.

               I don't know how long I was out, but I woke up to find myself landing on the floor, and a loud panic that rang through my ears. I was in a  state of fatigue, so my body was slow to react.

               "W...WHO ARE YOU?! WHY WERE YOU ON TOP OF ME!!!?" I heard Myungsoo yell at me from the bed. "A....ARE YOU ANOTHER SASAEANG FAN!!?"

               "W...what? I said in confusion, my mind still didn't register fully to the situation.

               "I...I'll ASK YOU AGAIN! WHO ARE YOU?!"

               "....You ...can see me?" I asked him weakly. I had lost too much energy from earlier, so I can't even call Sungjong out for help. I felt myself growing colder than usual, I could feel my face losing color, and my hands frozen stiff. I felt a thud as I hit the floor once more.

               "H..heyyy what's wrong with you?...H..hey..wake up! Wake up!" I felt his hands holding onto my arms giving me a shake or two, his voice echoing in my head, and him wrapping one arm around my back and one under my legs lifting me up from the ground before losing consciousness completely.

AN: Hellooooo I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Please read, subscribe, and comment <3 <3 <3 <3

Chapter two preview: 

               "Hyung! Where have you been?!...G...grey....Y..Your feathers they're tainted..."

               "A...Are you in love with that human?!..Hyung...what did you do?"