In Between The Blurred Lines

            Luhan is cheating on me. He has been acting more restless and irritated by the day. Luhan has even changed his cell phone password and flinches every time I ask where he`s been. He`s been cold and distant, and I`m not sure when it started to become like this. He`s not the same anymore.

            “It`s not working out, I need you”, Luhan whispered into his secret conversation. “I can`t do that right now okay? I`m sorry I`m just- you know I can`t do that to him”

            “Luhan?” I called out. I acted like I had just gotten to the door frame. He jumped in his black padded lounge chair and clumsily hanged up the phone. He was still in his work clothes.

            “Sehun...need something?”

            “Dinner is ready”, I replied. Luhan sighed and rubbed his temples with his forefingers. He swirled around in his chair, facing his back to me.

            “I`m not eating, eat without me”, he sighed. Once again, I ate dinner by myself. The sound of the TV switching on meant that Luhan was getting ready to sleep and that I should too. As I was putting the dishes away, I remembered that I hadn`t taken my daily anxiety pills. I pushed myself to the kitchen counter only to find that I`m out and will have to tell Luhan to get me more.

                                                 ~ Xiumin ~

      “When are you coming home, Luhan? I miss you”, I said. I carefully balanced my phone on one shoulder as I tried to scribble down my groceries list.

      “I might be working late today.....Xiumin”

      “Okay, I`ll wait for you?” I asked. There was a long pause. For a second there, I thought his phone had died.

     “Be there okay? I miss you too”, Luhan croaked. His voice sounded scratchy and exhausted. Lately, he`s been stressing a lot about work. I opened the backyard door to let in our orange tomcat, Timmy. He walked in with his obvious sass and ignored me, walking straight to our bedroom.

     “What are you doing?” I asked Timmy in my high pitch voice. He crawled under my bed and avoided me. That`s odd, usually Timmy wanted his back to be rubbed by me. As I bent down to peer under the bed I saw a small brown cardboard box. When I pulled it out, I looked inside and found a bunch of old photos of me and Luhan. What are they doing here? I stacked the pictures neatly back into the box and shoved it back.

      “Xiumin?” Luhan called out. There was a hint of emergency in his voice.

     “Luhan? I thought you were working late?” I asked. He looked at me and sighed. Luhan gazed into my eyes intently and held me. For a minute we just stayed like that. He acted like he had missed me all day. I gazed back with a heartfelt smile. Pwack! Luhan smacked his palm against my big forehead.

     “Ah! Luhan!” I whined. He smiled and hugged me. I can never understand his sudden mood changes.

                                                ~ Sehun ~

        “Where were you Luhan?” I questioned as he came through the door. Luhan took a look at me and for a second, I thought I saw a glare. He sighed. His auburn hair sprawled like he had carelessly ran his fingers through his hair. He walked past me and sat in the living room, contemplating.

         This is it. This is the moment he is going to leave me for another man. He kept cracking his fingers and his eyelashes batted. Not yet. It`s not time yet, I won`t let it. My knuckles instinctively curled up in balls.

        “Sehun, I need to talk to you”, he said. “I tried my best but, you need some time-“

       “Wait! I know what you’re going to say!” I interrupted. Luhan`s eyes bulged and his mouth dropped. He was so still, he looked as if he had stopped breathing. “Not yet okay?”

        I turned to lock myself in the room when I started to hear Luhan`s protests. He came lightly knocking on the door. “Sehun! Let me explain!”

        I leaned against the cool door, listening to silence. After a couple of seconds, Luhan had retreated. I felt disappointed that he didn`t try harder after I refused to listen. Not yet Luhan, just wait okay? Just wait.

                                             ~ Xiumin ~

        I woke up this morning to find a hand written letter on my bedside. It read, “I know where you are, you can`t hide from me. You should of stayed away from Luhan, now look at what you`ve done. If karma doesn`t get to you, I will”

      “Luhan!” I yelled. No answer. I was so afraid, I didn`t want to get up from my bed. Luhan had probably gone to work already. I think I know who this person might be. When I met Luhan back in my senior year of high school, he had found out about my unstable lifestyle and drug addicted parents. Rather than running off like everyone else, he stayed firm against my parents and helped me escape. However, after only about a year of peace, they had found me, my parents.

      They stalked me and made death threats to Luhan and I. When we couldn`t take the threats anymore, we moved. Finally, it had stopped, but now two years later they have found us again. I carefully placed the note back on the bed stand. It took me a moment to realize the knocking on the door. I ran to open it, but found no one. A sudden chill ran up my spine and neck.

       Later that day, Luhan finally came home from work. Immediately, I told him everything. He stood there and nodded every once in a while. He was worried and was thinking of something deeply. Finally, I dragged him into the room and showed him the note. The minute his eyes fell on the hand written letter, his face fell.

       “Seh- uh…Xiumin”, Luhan stuttered with a shake from his head. “Don`t worry. I`ll take care of it okay?”

      “What?”

       “I`ll take care of it”, he said softly.

       “Let`s report it to the police!”

      “No!” He commanded. The nervous tone was setting in. He dropped the letter on the bed and started to pace back and forth. His face turned red and he kept fluttering his eyelashes, a sign of nervousness. Then, he paused and grabbed his keys.

      “Where are you going?” I asked as he trudged through the house. Right before he left I grabbed his shirt sleeve. “Luhan….”

      “I`m going to see someone. It`s only for a little bit, don`t worry okay?” He said calmly. I searched his eyes for something, something to tell me otherwise. Why? Why do you think he is lying, Xiumin? I shook my head and nodded. He smiled and kissed my cheek before leaving.

      When Luhan had finally arrived back from his detour, he seemed relieved that I was still here, like I would run away at any moment. He sighed with relief and embraced me. I looked up at him in uncertainty and smiled weakly. I was still scared.

     “It`s going to be alright!” Luhan assured. Something in his voice quivered. “Tomorrow, when I get off from work-”

     “Why are you so shaky Luhan? Who did you go see?” I interrupted.

      “Uhh..Someone who can help us”, Luhan avoided. He was still nervous, but I just shrugged it off and smiled.

      “Okay”, I muttered.

      The next day, I woke up to a gloomy windy day. The wind howled and scratched at my windows, trying to get in. Luhan had gone to work again. Yesterday, he said that everything will be fixed today and that after he got off from work…I forgot. I never let him finish what he was saying last night.

      “Timmy!” I called. I went to go open the back yard door to let in Timmy, but he never came. I stepped outside to the angry winds to search for him. Far off, by our oak tree, I saw an orange figure laid sprawled. It`s bright orange fur turned copper with blood. Timmy`s neck and back was broken like someone had trampled all over him. I screamed and ran back inside.

       “Luhan! They killed Timmy! My parents killed him” I yelled in my cell phone.

       “What?” Luhan doubted. “That`s not possible-“

      “It didn`t look like he was attacked by an animal Luhan”, I warned. From the other side of the call I can hear his faint breathing.

      “Just stay there okay? Don`t go anywhere Xiumin! Wait for me until I come home!” Luhan urgently said.

       I don`t know how long I was asleep for, but by the time I had woken up, it was nighttime. I didn`t even remember falling asleep. What happened? Luhan! It was already eight, two hours since Luhan was supposed to come home. The house was strangely quiet and still. I couldn`t help but feel a sinking feeling in my guts.

     “Luhan? Luhan?” I called out. I got off from the couch and walked to the room. I shrieked as I laid eyes on the smudged trail of blood that covered the carpet in the hallway. It was leading to the bedroom.

      “Luhan!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I ran to into the bedroom and followed the blood to a large brown sack covered in crimson. There was so much blood I could smell the thick stench of iron. I frantically tried to untie the tight knot, binding the bag`s opening. It was tied too securely and I only made it tighter. Hysterically wailing and trying to manage to steady my breathing, I screamed in rage and panic. I ran to the kitchen and pulled out a kitchen knife.

       As I slashed through the top of the brown sack, horror filled my eyes. Luhan was in a position as if someone had hastily shoved him in. His face was pale and frozen with terror. His eyes were still wide open and empty. Luhan`s auburn hair was matted to his face with his own sticky blood. I mourned and held him close to my chest, wailing loudly. Something had caught my attention. Luhan held a shiny circular object in his tight grasp. A watch? No, it was a small golden Victorian styled watch locket necklace. A time jumper. Without thinking much, I twisted the tiny black hands to the exact time I called Luhan earlier that day.

       “Wait for me until I come home!” Luhan yelled. I waited for almost three hours until Luhan finally came home.

       “Luhan!” I cried. Rivers of tears ran down my face as I didn`t even bother to wipe them away. I held his perfect, smooth face in my hands.

      “What`s wrong? You look like you`ve seen a ghost?”

       “I…you…Luhan I”, I stuttered urgently in between my hiccups.

       “Calm down”, he chuckled. “I`m here now-“

       “Luhan..", a male voice from behind him spoke. He lurched forward and struck Luhan in the head with a shovel. My knees gave out from beneath me and I screamed.He cackled.

       “Didn`t I say that if Karma didn`t get to you, I will?” He snarled. Luhan wasn`t moving and I couldn`t tell if he was breathing either. The guy who had hit Luhan tossed a brown sack at me, the same one from before. “This wasn`t meant for you, but get in!”

      “No!” I screamed. He threw himself onto me and we both struggled to fight against each other. I was seeing red and the adrenaline kicked in. He screamed curse words and struck me twice.

       “Sehun!” Luhan yelled. He woke up and ripped Sehun away from me like a rag doll. “Stop it! Stop it now!”

        Everything was set in slow motion. I watched as Luhan struggled to restrain the unhinged and deranged Sehun. He bit his arm and pulled out a box cutter. In seconds, Luhan laid on the floor, leaking thick sticky blood. Sehun gawked at Luhan and roared. He threw his weapon across the room and lunged at me again. He closed his hands around my neck, strangling me. In seconds, my eyes rolled back and I out.

          “Dr. Zhang, your patient is here”, the nurse said. She held close a broken young man. He wore a long sleeved white shirt and a pair of grey sweats. His long wavy auburn hair draped over his pale dead face. His big blank eyes were set ahead, staring at nothing but the air between him and the bright white walls. In contrast with his pale face was the tiny red cut on his right cheek bone.

     “Hello Xiumin”, I greeted as he took a seat from across me.

      “Help me”, he muttered. “Help me get back”

     “If you want to leave you have to get better”, I said.

      “Luhan….Sehun…”, he muttered.

      “Xiumin…there is no Sehun. Xiumin? Do you hear me?” I asked. He sat, thinking. I took my laptop and switched on a video Luhan had sent me from their surveillance camera at home. It was a compilation of everything that had happened. It showed how Xiumin got into an argument with Luhan and locked himself in his room. Later, he wrote a letter and placed it beside his table to mail it out the next day. However, he woke up the next day and read it. After reading the letter he wrote himself, he freaked out.

       When Luhan came back from work, Xiumin led him to the note he wrote and said it was from his imaginary drug addicted parents. Truth was, Xiumin`s dad was a faithful professor and his mom was a normal librarian at a college. They were killed in a school shooting three years ago. Luhan knew it was Xiumin who wrote it from a similar incident that happened two years ago. He knew Xiumin had been the one to write it again and left to find me. While Xiumin waited for Luhan, he went outside to play with his cat and killed him by strangling and smashing him against the tree. Then, he went back inside and washed up. When Luhan came back, he had already forgotten the act he had just committed.

       The next day he woke up and went to find Timmy, the cat he had murdered last night. Upon finding the mutilated cat, he screamed and called Luhan. When Luhan had told him to wait for him, he sat down on the couch to watch TV. Then, something clicked. He went into the garage to grab a brown sack and took out a life size porcelain doll. He began beating the porcelain doll with a shovel with anger and rage. When he had gotten tired, he began to stuff the doll in the bag and started dragging the sack into his room. After that exhausting act, he fell asleep on the couch.

         After he had awoken, he noticed something and walked to the hallway. He screamed. As he ran to open the brown sack he had placed himself, he ran to the kitchen and cut the bag open with a knife. He began crying and held the doll, calling it Luhan. From the doll`s pocket fell a necklace with a watch. He began to play with it and went to sit in the living room. This was when Luhan had finally came home from making an emergency appointment with me after several times I had suggested and he declined.

           He ran and hugged Luhan, but minutes later, he screamed and fell backwards and hit his head. Luhan instinctively looked back, but saw nothing. As he tried to help Xiumin up, he screamed and backed away. Blood started to drip from his head. Luhan, feeling confused, panicked and tried to forcefully pick him up, but he attacked and yelled out a name. Sehun. Luhan and Xiumin fought against each other, knocking everything down with them. Soon, instead of Luhan trying to help Xiumin, it was Luhan trying to defend himself from Xiumin. He had thrown Luhan off him and he hit the TV stand, making the 60 inch flat screen TV pin Luhan on the ground. Seconds later, Xiumin fell unconscious. Minutes went by, and the video showed me entering the house to see the horror. I was supposed to come and see how bad Xiumin had gotten, only to find that he had definitely gotten worse.

           I studied Xiumin as he watched the video from beginning to end. Reality had clicked in and he had tears in his eyes. He slowly fitted the tiny puzzles together. The medication masked as fake anxiety pills from Luhan, the missing memories, and Luhan`s sudden attitude.

          “You suffer from split personality disorder, Xiumin. Luhan is okay, but worried about you. He said he`ll wait for you when you get better. He knows this isn`t your fault. You have to promise though, okay? That you`ll get better”, I said softly. Xiumin slowly nodded and started to cry.

          “I promise, Luhan”, Xiumin mumbled. I smiled and looked at the black tinted window from across the room and knew, Luhan was standing there and smiling too.

                                           ~ Luhan ~

         Today was the day visitors were allowed to visit. I waited like everyone else and searched for Xiumin to come through the metal door. He did. It`s been about two weeks since that incident, and yet he looked so different. His cheeks sunk in and dark circles were there. His hair was messy and matted and his auburn color dulled to copper. I was shocked and couldn`t say anything. This was exactly the reason why I had denied to bring Xiumin here in the first place. I knew they were just going to drug him up and throw him into a room by himself.

         "Xiumin....", I muttered.

         "Hi...", Xiumin whispered. It didn`t sound like him at all.

         "Umm.. how are you?"

         "Sehun won`t leave me alone, Luhan", Xiumin whispered. Chills ran up my arms and back as I froze in place.

          "Fight back Xiumin! Don`t let him get to you!"

           "So you never loved him?"

           "I did, somewhat. Because he was still a part of you, Xiumin."

           "If you had to choose, who would you want back?"

            "Of course you, Xiumin", I said. He paused.

            "Then you`ll never get him back...", Xiumin whispered. It was so low I almost didn`t hear.

             "huh?"

             "Xiumin is too weak. I`m stronger than him, Luhan. You will never see Xiumin ever again you cheating bastard!" Sehun yelled. Sehun came forward and grabbed my shirt. He started scratching me and hitting me while yelling curse words. Guards came and dragged him away as he yelled all sorts of profanity. It was time I talked to Dr. Zhang.

              "I`m sorry you had to go through that", Dr. Zhang apologized.

               "Why is Xiumin not better?" I asked. I just wanted to go straight to the problem. He took me inside a room full of chairs. We sat and stared at the window peering inside a white room. It was the same white room I was in when they first took Xiumin two weeks ago.

               "There is no guarantee cure for split personality disorder, Luhan", Mr. Zhang said. The door inside the room we looked at opened. Sehun was shoved in the room. "I wasn`t lying to you Luhan. When I said we have cured him. I was telling the truth. We did, but there`s no way for sure, that the one being cured, was Xiumin".

                 My heart broke. I felt like dying. Sehun had taken over my Xiumin's body. Sehun raged and picked up a chair. He turned around and started to bang the chair against the window. I didn`t even flinch. I wasn`t scared. I just wanted my Xiumin back. Dr. Zhang pushed a button underneath one of the desks and minutes later guards went into the room. Sehun pounded his body against the glass until there was blood smeared onto it. Finally, the guards had sedated him and he fell unconscious, but before they took him away, before his eyes closed, Sehun gave me the most twisted, cruel smirk. His insane evil laughter filled the room before they finally dragged him out.

                "It`s too late for Xiumin to be saved", I said. It wasn`t a question but Dr. Zhang answered anyway.

                 "I`m sorry. We tried our best, but he`s gone. He couldn`t fight against Sehun", Dr. Zhang said. He left me inside alone with the blood smeared window and messy room. I heard the door close shut behind me and knew that now was the time to cry. Tears streamed down my face and my mind screamed. Xiumin was never coming back.

                  "But you promised....."