It was almost eight years into the entertainment business when Sunggyu finally had enough. He had been waiting for a reason to stop and when he got one, he took the first flight to the other end of the world, Australia.

When Sunggyu decided to leave Korea, he left everything behind him too. There, he built a new life; a solitude lifestyle at the outskirts of Sydney where even the nearest neighbor was about five hundred meters away. He took English classes and learned all the basic things needed from a Korean friend there.

For five years he stayed there until one day he received an unexpected guest.

“Hey Gyu,” Junsu had called over the phone, even his Korean is thick with Australian accent. Sunggyu was watering the plants and he closed the water tap and made his way into his house.

“What?” he replied back in English. “I’m busy,” he joked.

“Marge told me someone’s here for you a few hours ago. A Korean guy, I don’t know who but Marge gave him your house.”

“A he?”

“yea. He’s probably on the way to your house now.” just as that, Sunggyu heard the sound of car engine outside of his house. Sunggyu peeked behind the curtain and saw someone giving the driver money as he unloaded his luggage. The person had his back against Sunggyu but even from his portrait Sunggyu could guess who it was.

“yea. got it. Thank you,” and Sunggyu ended the call.

A minute later, there was a knock on the door and Sunggyu took a long breath in. after five years, Sunggyu knew he was in for a long walk down memory lane. he could feel it. he just knew the presence of this someone will bring him things he wanted to know about the people he left in Korea and also things he ran away from at the first place. the reasons he left Korea.

Sunggyu opened the door and before he could say anything, he was captured in a big comfortable hug of a friend that was Jang Dongwoo’s. Dongwoo’s arms around him were tight and almost as if reluctant to let him go. And Sunggyu eventually put his arms around the younger and patted him on his back. He missed him too.

When Dongwoo finally let go, them both smiled at each other. Just Dongwoo staring at him and Sunggyu staring back before he looked away and grabbed Dongwoo’s luggage into the house. Dongwoo closed the door behind him.

“Nice to see you doing well, hyung,” Dongwoo started.

“You too! Me? Nah, I’m living on fast food and coke,” he joked. Sunggyu showed him the couch in front for him to sit. “What brings you here?’ he asked, straight to the point.

He tried not to notice the different in Dongwoo’s expression that literally screamed hurt. “I’m just… I missed you. it hadn’t been the same. You know, you hadn’t been contacting everyone and all.”

Sunggyu chuckled. “You’re still funny, Dongwoo-yah. what difference does my presence ever make anyway.” it was more of a statement than a question.

“You know that’s not how it is.” the younger’s voice was low.

“Why are you here, Dongwoo? your real reasons.” he asked again. “Because if you’re not here to ask how I’m doing now, the door’s that way. I don’t have time for pasts now, Dongwoo. I don’t want to talk about any of that and you know it.”

“I know.”

“then?”

“then I will not talk about it, at all.”

“good.”

“your friend, Kim?” George, the bartended greeted.

they went to the nearest bar that afternoon. Sunggyu had an extra room at his house. there was nothing in it but a bed and cupboard and the ever so positive Dongwoo said it was more than perfect for his stay there. Dongwoo wanted to explore the town and Sunggyu brought him to his favorite bar that was in walking distance from his house.

“yes. a friend from Korea.” he introduced.

“I’m Dongwoo.”

Sunggyu had forgotten Dongwoo was the English expert in their group. Was. They sat at the table by the corner of the bar and George gave him the usual drinks.

“you go here every day?”

“not really. when I’m like super bored or anything.”

“so what do you do here anyway. you work, hyung?”

“yea. but I’m taking the week off. and what do you know, you just happen to walk in at the right time.”

“you’re not glad to meet me?”

“of course I do. Just… I don’t know. Don’t want to talk about it. I’ve cut myself from those things.”

“and from any of us. Everyone misses you.”

Sunggyu fell silence. he gulped one whole cup of bir and stared at Dongwoo. “I miss you. I miss everybody. but not the pain. being in Korea and still being able to hear their stories through the press, I just couldn’t. But moving out of the country, now that’s the best decision I did all my life.”

“still you should have contacted me or anything.” Dongwoo said, disappointment visible.

“How’d you find me anyway?” Sunggyu asked. Dongwoo wasn’t sure if he’s even sober anymore as he took in another glass.

“your mom. she didn’t want to give me your address but… I don’t know.”

“what did you do?”

Dongwoo raised his shoulders. “my charm I guess.”

Sunggyu hit him on his shoulder and they broke into a laugh. And so the long lost friends  spent the next few hours together until George had to send them out for it was closing time. by then none of them can walk properly. Dongwoo, the more sober one had one of Sunggyu’s arms over his neck but still with staggered steps they walked home, singing any old songs they know.

Dongwoo smiled because how he missed hearing Sunggyu singings. The older was suddenly swaying side by side and leaning his weight on Dongwoo when the younger lost his balance and they went tumbling to the dirt. Dongwoo quickly went to check for Sunggyu but he was laughing so hard his voice cracked.

“Damn I missed you,” Sunggyu said between laugh. He grabbed Dongwoo by his collar suddenly and kissed him on his cheek, but missing the spot and instead incidentally kissed Dongwoo on his lips. Sunggyu didn’t seem to notice this as he continued laughing. But Dongwoo’s had to calm his heart  down and gather himself together before helping Sunggyu up again.

They reached Sunggyu’s house and Dongwoo fumbled for the keys in Sunggyu’s jacket, causing the older to giggle. “that tickles,” Sunggyu slurred and Dongwoo laughed. he managed to open the door and brought the hyung in. Sunggyu threw himself on the couch as Dongwoo locked the door back.

he turned back to Sunggyu and for a few moment just looked at him. the pain the hyung brought with him to Australia hadn’t been healed and Dongwoo could see that. he sat on the floor next to the couch Sunggyu was and the older’s hair lovingly. Sunggyu opened his eyes and stared back.

“why are you here,” he asked, hurt. “I can’t. you know I can’t, Dongwoo.”

“I know but he’s over it and you know you should too, hyung. he’s long over it so please come back to Korea. we need you there. I need you there.” Dongwoo hadn’t realized his tears had fallen down. the next thing he knew, Sunggyu’s already wiping them.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I only thought of myself.” Sunggyu lowered himself to the floor in front of Dongwoo and pulled the latter into a hug. Dongwoo buried his face in Sunggyu’s shoulder and grabbed the older’s waist tight as he cried throughout the night.

the moon disappeared and the sun appeared on the horizon, its heat burning the day and its light raining the ground. Sunggyu woke up, his head heavy as hell. he sat up only to fell down back on the bed when he realized Dongwoo was beside him on the bed. the younger’s arm was across his waist and Sunggyu decided to lay back to not disrupt the other’s sleep.

he played with Dongwoo’s bangs and the younger scooted closer. “I missed this,” Dongwoo said suddenly.  he looked up and smiled at the surprised Sunggyu.

“since when were you awake?”

“a few hours ago.” he answered.  “you still talks in your sleep.” he added.

“there goes the first complaint I heard in years.” Sunggyu retorted.

“what should we do today?” Dongwoo asked as he stared at the ceiling. “ I want to meet your friends here.”

“ I don’t really have that many friends here. I stay home most of the time.”

“for five years?”

Sunggyu nodded. “it’s not that hard.”

“then come back home, hyung. even if you don’t want to stay at your home, then stay with me. I’ll make sure nobody knows.”

“it’s not that easy, Dongwoo. just being there-“

“Please, just- just once and I won’t ask you anything anymore. I’ll stop bothering you forever.”

“That’s not the case! Why are you so insisting on this? I don’t understand, Dongwoo! what part of being in Korea I don’t like that you don’t understand?”

“I have to go back tomorrow and I can’t leave you here. not after I found you. I just can’t. please, just give it a chance.”

“I still can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Sunggyu muttered as Dongwoo opened the door to his house for him.

Dongwoo laughed and helped carry Sunggyu’s luggage into his house. after endless begging and promises, Sunggyu finally agreed to go back to Korea under a few conditions. No press and no crowded places.

“I’ve arranged a dinner with them tonight.” Dongwoo said opening the fridge. “You want something?”

Sunggyu turned to Dongwoo. “No thanks. Wait, him too?”

“Well he is one of us, hyung. look, it’s like what? five years and I’m pretty sure he’s over it. You’re over it too.” Sunggyu eyed the younger. Dongwoo was making himself comfortable on the kitchen counter, a red apple in his hand ready to be eaten. “I was there five years ago. And I remember everything. And of course how helpless you were then. But you’re not like that too now, right?”

His knees suddenly felt weak and Sunggyu sat on the couch. He looked up at Dongwoo, eyes begging. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Nothing’s going to happen. Look, if anything happen, I’ll bring you straight back home. I promise.”

“So you know something’s bound to happen.” he raised his eyebrows.

“they’re my friends too but they’re still pricks sometimes okay. and I’m going to protect you, no matter what happens.” he emphasized the word pricks.

there was determination in Dongwoo’s voice and Sunggyu turned to him. “You never did change over the years. still trying to fix everything.”

“I’m trying to fix you.” Dongwoo said, suddenly serious.

“I’m not hurt.” Sunggyu replied back.

“I know. I’m trying to fix that attitude too.”

Sunggyu laughed and made his way to Dongwoo. He took the untouched apple from his hand and took a bite, munching them as Dongwoo looked straight at him, staring at his lips. “Now if you know how, tell me. because I want to fix that too.”

“Then let go.” Dongwoo said just as quick. Sunggyu stopped munching altogether. his eyes clearly showing how surprised he was at that. “The memories hurt, I know. They hurt me too.”

“I don’t know how,” Sunggyu said after some time. he turned his back on Dongwoo, eyes looking down. then suddenly, he felt Dongwoo’s warm body against him and the apple in his hand was taken. he turned his head slightly and his face was just an inch from Dongwoo.

Dongwoo pecked him on the lips, his own lingering a while on Dongwoo’s before Dongwoo broke the kiss away. “by accepting new ones.” and then a smile was back on Dongwoo’s lips and his over friendly voice was back. “my mother always says that to me.”

Sunggyu watched Dongwoo as he skipped his way down the hallway into the living room, not missing how Dongwoo took a bite on the apple at the place he bit before. And as Dongwoo disappeared, Sunggyu’s fingers lingered over his lips a little too long too.