Belated Happy Birthday to my lovely Taengoo <3

Here's an update guys

 

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"Am I…a person?” she asked, elated.

 

 

“Nope”

 

 

“Hmm, am I… a place?”

 

 

I giggled in which she surmised, “I guess that’s a no huh?” and scratched her head, Oh she’s like a child, really. I suppress another chuckle. Taeyeon has this poorly torn paper with scrawny writing plastered on her forehead that says ‘SEAL’, which I wrote in my exceptional cursive penmanship. We’re sitting cross-legged on our respective beds, thankfully, with our progressing state of health; we could scoot and move around a little. We’re playing game, something similar to charades.

 

 

“No clues for me…?”

 

 

“Na-uh, figure it out on your own”

 

 

“Tiffany, our brains are probably like soup right now because of the fall” she whines. She’s so cute.

 

 

“Exactly, that’s why we need to exercise them, condition them back to their previous routine” I gently coaxed. She huffed and her bangs flew for a split-second then scattered back to her forehead.

 

 

So Taeyeon is an ill-tempered girl, I secretly snickered.

 

 

“Is it…an animal?” she probes on. My head shot up and I grinned at her.

 

 

“Yes…”

 

 

“Uhmp!” she pump her fist in the air with closed eyes and a triumphant look on her face, rubbing her hands together and wearing an expression that bordered indomitable and sinister she said, “Alright, let’s get this party started!”

 

 

“Elephant!”

 

 

“Nope, that’s too mainstream”

 

 

“Too mainstream huh? Alright, alright, I can work with that, um how about…a kangaroo!”

 

 

“Nice try but no”

 

 

“A salamander?”

 

 

“What? No! Try another”

 

 

“An alpaca!”

 

 

I burst out laughing, Seriously? Of the gazillion species out there, she chooses an alpaca. Oh, she’s hilarious alright.

 

 

“Hey, don’t laugh! I expected you don’t do stereotypes so I’m thinking of the most unique animals I could!” But I was still laughing at her, grateful that no pain stings and churns in my belly anymore. I laugh and clap my hands, my eyes have probably disappeared again because Taeyeon does that face, expressionless and impassive, it worries me sometimes, I wiped a tear and ceased the laughter.

 

 

Regaining my normal breathing I ask, “Are you okay? I’m sorry for laughing”. Did she really get upset with that? It’s not like I’m ridiculing her or anything, guilt starts to surface, and I bit my lip anxiously.

 

 

“Your eyes…” she mindlessly spoke

 

 

My what? Eyes?

 

 

“My eyes? Why? What’s with them?”

 

 

“They’re….so beautiful.”

 

 

“Oh…Thank you…” I blinked rapidly. Oh…okay, um, that was a very nice thing to say

 

 

And for a moment, we revel in the reticent silence that swallowed us, just the two of us, staring at each other, smiling but not smiling, trying to test telepathy as our eyes flicker with something frivolous and warm, I can see an upward twitch sketched on her lips, like a child watching how a cotton candy machine works, with its sweet pink webs swirling deliciously again and again until it forms a cloud that melts in your mouth.

 

 

I force back a dry gulp, Taeyeon’s eyes shine with something unfathomable but I held on to it, my eyes trying to unravel the enigmatic secrets within her hazelnut brown eyes, completely oblivious to the sound of an opening door.

 

 

“What’s with a seal?” the familiar voice of Irish resounded, and we were whisked back to reality, detached from our reverie, I see a hint of pink on Taeyeon’s cheeks, I looked down and for some unknown reason, I smiled to myself.

 

 

“Ah, so that was it! A seal!” Taeyeon exclaimed, slapping her forehead, stripping the paper off and frowning at it before crumpling and throwing it to the trash bin, its landing was unsuccessful.

 

 

“No littering inside the ward, Taeyeon” Irish teasingly scolded. We ate in a comforting silence, occasionally broken by haphazard questions about what medicines the other was taking, what kind of therapy was suggested and where, and bit by bit, like ticking a scar off a wound, we ask questions we know answers would be unavailable.

 

 

“So, lower Manhattan was devastated huh?” she said, I sighed.

 

 

“I need to inform my relatives but I don’t know how, my cell is completely useless, it’s probably burnt somewhere in ground zero, and how about my job, will my company relocate or what, what about my apartment…” I rattled on; brows creased and all, looking older than my age.

 

 

“You know, Tiffany, now’s not the time get all worrisome, I mean, in some point yes that’s inevitable but right now? I think we should be worrying more about ourselves first, our health” she said and suddenly it’s as if I was hit by soberness. Taeyeon has a point.

 

 

“Yeah, you’re definitely right. I’m sorry” I murmured.

 

 

“No need for apologies, I understand paralegal consultants scrutinize the littlest of details” she grinned.

 

I quirked an eyebrow, “Well, for an accountant, you’re quite deep” I countered, enjoying this banter of a jest with her.

 

 

“Why thank you” she spoke with a faux-medieval age voice and a decorous bow. I cackled again, my usual low and raspy laugh, Taeyeon seems stupefied.

 

 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you smiling and laughing like that” she has that ‘what an unusual yet amusing girl you are’ look on her face.

 

 

“Well, you’ll have to deal with it until we get our butts out of here” I said on a mouthful of mashed potatoes with carrots and corn.

 

 

“Butts?! And oh! Speaking when your mouth is full! Such ill-bred behaviour” she accused, pointing a finger at me. Her smirk didn’t go unnoticed. I stared with bored eyes, and threw corn kernels at her which she ate.

 

 

“Oh, you’re gross! Get out of here” I feign disgust and disappointment, while she proudly chews.

 

 

Never knew she could be this fun. It’s definitely a miracle given the 5-foot dreadful fall

 

 

It seems like all we do is rest, eat, and drink medicine. It gets really boring but who are we to complain right? Isn’t that what patients do most of the day? In my idling and procrastination I think of my family, I hope they locate me soon and know that I’m fine, I wish the same for Taeyeon. My eyes droop in the mid-afternoon sun and soon enough my eyes close, that day I dream about collapses, Nancy and Rodrigo, the endless abyss of doom below, but aside from that, I also dream about a cat’s eyes, skin white as milk and soft warm hands and a voice that says..

 

 

‘Do you trust me?’

 

 

.

“Tiffany!” someone shouted and I feel myself getting hit by something. It’s soft, a pillow?

 

 

I woke up with a gasp, my breathing ragged, eyes wide and heartbeat frantic. I clutched my chest, it hurts. With trembling hands, I reach for the glass of water on my bedside table and gulp it down.

 

 

“Had a bad dream?” a voice said and I was startled, later on the same voice registered in my head. I sighed in relief.

 

 

 

“Yeah…No, somehow I guess, sorry did I wake you?”

 

 

 

“Not much, I woke up a little earlier, heard you whimpering but you were asleep experiencing a nightmare, sorry about the pillow, I couldn’t reach you myself.” She explained. So it was pillow after all.

 

 

“It’s okay, thank you…again” I breathed, lost and dazed. How could she save me twice?

 

 

“So, do you want to talk about it? Your nightmare?”

 

 

“I … dreamt about the collapse, like a flashback” except now that I think of it, a portion of that dream was all about you.

 

 

“Night tremors, glad I’m not the only one, the doctors said it’s normal for individuals who have experienced such trauma” she said, her eyes were looking at nowhere in particular but they were pensive, in deep thought.

 

 

“Would it be bothersome if I ask you to talk to me until I feel better? I would be unable to sleep immediately after this” I shyly requested.

 

 

She beamed radiantly. “Sure thing”

 

 

“So you go to court trials as well?” she queried, her interest piqued. It’s been half an hour and we’ve been chitchatting about everything, from places, to weather, to people and now to our jobs.

 

 

“If the need arrives, yes. The first time I escorted an attorney in there, as his P.A, it was nerve-wracking! Nearly pissed my pants really and then I thought is this what I really wanted to do? I realized that moment, yes, it is, the adrenaline fuels me you know? It’s a different kind of rush, the action, the justice when served right, and oh the emotions in the room, it’s all too much but I like it, I like helping good people.”

 

“That’s very altruistic, you work for a nice cause, but don’t you get death threats?” she asked again, cocked her sideways looking troubled. I can’t help but admire the cuteness of it.

 

“Death threats? I haven’t received any yet, I don’t know I guess it don’t usually come my way since I’m still a paralegal assistant, I, most of the time, handle all the legal paperwork of a case, drafting documents and case briefs, does company responses to complaints and the other needed logistics but other than that, it’s actually the attorney who does the main action, so they’re more at risk than me”

 

“Hmm, I see, you’re on what floor? 5^th right?”

 

“Originally, we’re on the 14^th floor, but we have another office down on the fifth floor, and they have a mini café shop in there, which is good, caffeine is my best friend.” I joked.

 

 

“Well, what do you know, I’m a fan of coffee myself” she said, we smiled to each other, wider, brighter, more familiar smile.

 

 

“So how about you? What’s a math geek doing on the fifth floor?” I asked rather playfully and Taeyeon snorted.

 

 

“I am not a math geek just because I do accounting stuffs, and besides it’s not that hard if you study it, just distinguish what the debits and credits are, line them up and compute. Our department handles the liquidation of assets, annual auditing of companies and some employee payrolls, cause some companies rather do that on their own, stingy.”

 

 

“Wow, you’ve got a lot on your plate then! From what companies are they?”

 

 

“The companies… from 1^st to the top floor”

 

 

I was flummoxed. What? Did I hear it right?

 

 

“W-what? The whole tower?!” I cried out.

 

 

“Um, yes? Kind of… but not the entirety though, Lindberg has another office on the opposite part of the tower, so we don’t handle those anymore”

 

 

“Wow, you’re a very busy girl then, I pity you” I teased, shaking my head dramatically.

 

 

“You wouldn’t be acting that way if I told you I was the one who computed your last pay check, Ms. Hwang”

 

 

Oh my God what! She did what?!

 

 

“You did what?! So you knew me all along? You’re such a stalker!”

 

 

“Easy there, hotshots, I was just kidding, it wasn’t me.” She said, hands up in the air and chuckling endlessly. “I don’t know how much bread you make, my officemate Randy is the one who does the payroll computation for you law office” she chuckled, obviously enjoying her little prank.

 

 

“Oh… you got me there” I giggled at my dense stupidity. “But how did you know my surname though?” Yeah, how?

 

 

“Maybe the fall really did some damage to your brain, you were wearing a name plate on your uniform the day of the collapse.” She said flatly.

 

 

Oh, some memory she has.

 

 

“Right, nice memory, so which floor is Lindberg located?” Is it near ours? How come I never see you around?

 

 

“Lindberg’s main office is on the 19^th floor, went down for a bit to get documents from a client and grab some coffee on my way up.”

 

 

“So even without the bombing, we still would have probably met each other at the coffee shop huh?” My words flowed naturally, without full consent of my brain. I inhaled sharply; feeling embarrassed and slowly took a stolen glance at Taeyeon who was wearing an amused smile on her face.

 

 

“Yeah, maybe…” she mumbled, slowly, the smile still etched on her lips. I remember the first time I saw her in the hospital, she was ashen, like near zombie-ying kind of pale and now colours seem to seep in slowly as her lips now have a faint pinkish hue.

 

 

A wild rush of inexplicable emotions are rattling inside me, like a hibernating beast that has been awakened, I feel afraid of its intensity, I have never experienced anything like this before and as if on cue, a blinding light flashed into the dim night sky, and a low grumble progressing into an ear-splitting roar boomed. We both screamed, startled by the sudden chaos, loud tapping on the window started to ensue as gigantic rain drops started to hammer down on it. The room became chillier than ever.

 

 

“I think there’s a supply drawer in here somewhere for these kinds of events, we didn’t watch television the whole day, and the storm was probably reported in the news. Check yours Tiffany, it’s getting cold, not good for our broken bones, we need to keep ourselves warm.”

 

 

Caring as ever

 

 

Goose bumps rose and prickled our skin as Taeyeon carefully bends below to retrieve extra blankets, socks and jackets from a drawer near her bed. I did the same and was grateful to find mine fully stocked. We slipped our jackets, and covered our feet with the thick socks.

 

 

Now, this is comfortable, if only I have someone to cuddle with. I mused and was surprised to see the same expression in Taeyeon’s face as though we’re thinking of the same thing.

 

 

“Do you have a fever?” Taeyeon asks randomly.

 

 

“I guess not? I feel fine”

 

 

“Oh, because you have red cheeks so I thought…”

 

 

Come again? Red cheeks she says? Oh brother, I’m not blushing again, am I?

 

 

Another flash of lightning and a cry of thunder and I’m already a helpless heap of panicky mess which Taeyeon seemed to notice.

 

 

“I hate thunderstorms too” she said, clasping her hands and blowing hot breath into it.

 

 

“Touche, preach” I answered.

 

 

She giggled, it was oddly placating to hear her melodic voice and in the back of my mind, I guessed she has a nice singing voice, but it’s what came out of after that, made my jaw drop.

 

 

“Would you like to share a bed?”

 

 

Would I what? It won’t be the first time for us, we’ve already shared a grubby corner back at the tent but hey, that’s a different setting and I wouldn’t lay beside her if it weren’t for the injured kid, I guess it’s just different when she asks me in a straightforward manner. Hell, she was paralyzed then and the surge of emotion is just, oh I don’t know anymore, Goodness, get a grip Tiffany.

 

 

I wanted to refuse, fearing for the enigmatic tension suddenly building inside me, afraid that being physically close to her would further intensify whatever this is and I hate it when I have no control over my mind and body like that, so I can’t and I won’t; but the cold, oh the cold is a merciless tormentor, pushing me to accept her tempting offer.

 

 

I was about to say no when another batch of lightning and thunder caught me by surprise and within seconds, I’m already in Taeyeon’s bed. The mattress is still crumpled and warm from her previous presence as she scoots further to accommodate both of us.

 

 

We lay face to face, and I’m not sure whether Taeyeon could hear my heart’s violent protest to rip itself out of my chest, I hope she doesn’t hear it. I bid her good night and, using all my self-restraint, willed myself to roll over so that my back is turned to her. So that her eyes won’t ensnare mine in a hypnotic daze I’m sure will keep me up all night.

 

 

The thunderstorm is a continuous torment and I feel her flinch every now and then, guilt eats me up and I curse myself for being so compassionate, or maybe because I like her, a little. A little? My conscience asks me, I left her question unanswered. I faced Taeyeon and was shocked to see that she hasn’t moved from her previous position except she was too close to me right now, a little movement would cause the tips of our noses to touch.

 

 

The thought of such close proximity with her made me squirm. What in the world…?

 

 

Taeyeon’s eyes were closed and she has her arms wrapped around herself as she convulses due to the cold, our extra effort to dress for it only helped a little, seeing her like that stabbed me with pain. I scooted further, gently placing my hands on her jacket, trying to find the zipper.

 

 

Her eyes shot open, looking at me, at my hand on the hem of her jacket.

 

I gulped hard and started zipping it up.

 

 

“We need to keep ourselves warm, isn’t that what you told me?” I murmured while travelling mid-way up her abdomen and chest, her eyes bore into mine with such penetrating gaze.

 

 

“Where’s your family?” I croaked, trying to distract myself from over- thinking.

 

 

“I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m Korean. Kim is my family name, my mom, dad, youngest sister and other relatives are in my hometown in South Korea, in Jeonju, here in New York, it’s just me and my older brother, but we don’t live together.”

 

 

“Oh, he works at the tower too?”

 

 

“Nope, he works for another company in Brooklyn”

 

 

“Oh, quite far from here, so you just see each other on weekends and hang out?”

 

 

I was aware that I may have said something offensive, Taeyeon smiled sadly and sighed, her hot breath fanned my face, I bit my lip, a realization dawning upon me while I work my way up her jacket, A realization that I am swirling further into a new path I have not taken, it’s mystifying, exciting and forbidding all at once.

 

 

“We were close once, and then he changed and shunned me out” Taeyeon gulped, I tasted the pain of her words.

 

 

Should I probe? No, I shouldn’t pry. I have to stop.

 

 

“Changed how? Why?” I asked, genuinely curious about it, about her, I want to know everything about her.

 

 

“Because he found out that I was…gay”

 

 

I couldn’t hear anything, I couldn’t feel my hands, I don’t know if I was holding my breath. Holy cow…

 

 

 

 

Another bomb has been dropped.

 

 

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Also, I am glad to inform you that I have resigned from my work (Yay) but I still have a month or so to report before its full effectivity

28 days til freedom!