I woke up to the sound of the heart monitor machine’s steady beeping; the space smelled of antiseptic, there were people blabbering about medical terms and a lot of coughing and sirens and shouting, with that, I immediately knew where I was.

First thing I couldn’t believe was the fact that I was breathing, though with difficulty but breathing nonetheless, air inside lungs kind of thing which means I’m alive somehow. Unbelievable, I was so sure I was going to die when I out, and then I remembered her.

Taeyeon.

My eyes shot open and with exhausted joints, I tried to push myself up but to no avail since a member of the paramedics stopped me saying that I badly needed to rest, something about my vital signs being dangerously inconsistent and that they have to keep a close eye on it. I barely heard her explain, maybe my eardrum really did get busted, perhaps one of them, my right ear maybe, because I couldn’t even hear a single thing from it.

She must be in this make-shift clinic somehow, she must be. I thought and just then, right across my spot, a portion of the cloth which serves as our tent, a massive one to state since there’s almost a hundred or more individuals in here, was slightly blown by the wind and I got a little peek on what’s outside.

Dead people, their hands and feet exposed, dirty with dust, smudged with blood, colours varying from gray to purple, the rest of their bodies covered with cloth, I deliberated that most of the victims’ bodies were gruesomely dismembered. I try not to think that Taeyeon was there, that she was one of the fatal casualties since she’s the one who shouldered most of the fall. I swallowed hard and tried to think of other thoughts, happy thoughts, if that’ even applicable given my state.

I sighed and hated the fact that this newfound weakness of my body made it impossible for me to locate Taeyeon. Poor Taeyeon, how much damage did her minute body even endure?

Is she… Is she even alive? My heart ached for a reason when I envision her dead and lifeless, like a stab right through my heart. It hadn’t been more than 30 minutes since I exerted force and yet here I am, feeling like I’ve toured the whole world on foot non-stop. I heaved another sigh and closed my eyes, listening to the rhythmic sound of the machine that indicates my progressing existence. But I couldn’t seem to take my mind off of her, before drifting to sleep; I made a pact with myself and swore to find her.

I hope you’re safe. Please be safe.

The second time I woke up, I felt better, the throbbing in my head incredibly lessened, although I do feel dizzy even though my movements were limited, other than that and a few broken bones in my arms and knees, an inflamed leg, broken wrist, endless bruises, scratches and cuts all over me, I’m doing well compared to the others whose bones were dislocated or a certain body part needs to be amputated, some others were even permanently blinded, deafened and handicapped.

The medical staff told me that I’m still not allowed to wander around because of the impact the fall did to my head, something about head injury resulting to trauma. I can’t comprehend much of it, and I really didn’t care at all, I’m already impaired so what’s the use? What’s a little walking and searching for the person who saved my life, it’s not a matter of life and death anymore because I’ve been there and done that, and I wouldn’t have done that without her help. So I need to see her, I need to.

The area was busy, so I took it as an advantage and tiptoed out of my post. Not a second would pass with someone idling around, that’s how busy it was and wherever you look, morbid accidents you’ve never seen before are right there for your eyes to see, whether you like it or not, it was a living torture, If my mind wasn’t that strong I probably would’ve gone insane by now, but I kept searching for any signs of her, her clothes, her face, despite the dreadful scenes laid out almost everywhere.

Clutching my wounded wrist, I limp around the vicinity in slow steps, stopping every now and then to catch up with my jagged breathing and then finally, just when I thought God had forgotten about humanity, my prayers were answered as I see her not very far from me, bedridden at the far end of the tent. It’s as if a thorn was pulled out from my throat, and for the first time since the catastrophe, I genuinely felt thankful.

I wanted to make a beeline for it but being aware of my condition, I managed to tone it down and told myself that I found her, and that’s what matters, she’s not going anywhere now so I should take it slow, I locked my eyes on her post, afraid that in a blink of an eye, she’ll disappear.

I was already panting hard when I reached her bed and was paralyzed when I saw her, bandages were wrapped all over her head with blotches of red from bleeding, same bruises and abrasions all over her body, I’m sure there are a lot of broken bones in there, silent tears fell from my eyes at that moment, I walked over slowly and sat beside her bed, which was literally just a thin mattress on the ground.

I asked one of the paramedics if they could transfer my mattress beside Taeyeon’s as well as the equipments needed, if ever I still need those in which the good-hearted personnel complied.

“Are you two families?” he queried while putting the mattress in place and connecting tubes and wires from the monitoring machine to my arms and head.

“No, but she saved my life…” I croaked, the paramedic paused and looked at Taeyeon then to me.

“She asked me if we could jump together but took most of the fall, we just met today”

I hiccupped and with that, I saw tears spilling from his eyes as he hugged me, I could feel my eyes burning, tears threatening to fall as well.

He sniffed, and glanced at our intertwined hands; I was unaware that I was holding it and tried to swat my hand away, feeling strangely conscious about it and the way he looked at us with so much tenderness, but he held it in place, shaking his head and wiping a tear.

“I think it’s beautiful, you two are very lucky to even survive. No one should be alone in this kind of situation, we should all be as one” he said, flashed me another smile and gave me two bottles of water before standing up to cater to other patients. He is very flamboyant and soft-hearted for a guy but still, I was grateful.

As I lay on my side watching Taeyeon’s stillness, looking out for any signs of movement, even the littlest of a jerk or shudder, I hear a soldier shouting, he came barging in holding a badly battered child covered in blood seemingly holding on for dear life. Then he saw me.

“Are you related?” he asked in a hurry, gesturing his pursed lips to Taeyeon and I.

“Umm, not actually…”

“But you know each other?”

“Yes, kind of”

“Good, can you share a mattress? There’s a huge shortage with mattresses and this child needs to be seen by a doctor immediately”

Without further hesitation, I crawled out of my mattress and slipped in with Taeyeon, surprisingly, hers was much bigger and could carry two people at a time. A personnel helped me fix and relocate my monitoring machine and wirings while the soldier scurried off with the mattress.

Left alone with an unmoving Taeyeon, I studied her features, though physically flawed, she was still beautiful. I became conscious of our growing proximity, my hands started to sweat, it was stupid and I don’t know what happened but I suddenly felt nervous being so near to her like this.

She says she’s from the accounting department; she must be a math wiz or something. I thought as my eyes travel to her painstakingly injured face and petite body.

I sighed and scooted closer to her, a deep sense of hopelessness and wretchedness continues to linger in the air while people try to snap out of their trances, palpably traumatized.

My eyes drift back to her.

“Taeyeon…” I cooed.

No response.

“Taeyeon…” I tried again, nudging her very gently.

“Um, I don’t know if you’re awake or not, or paralyzed but can still hear…” I really didn’t know what I was doing or why I was talking to her like this knowing fully well that she won’t hear a thing I say, maybe it’s the stress and depression I feel, all these mixed emotions from being severely shaken up by the accident need to be let out, and I have no one with me, except for her.

“I want you to know that I’m very thankful for what you did, for asking me to jump with you, I mean, maybe I’d jump later on but I realized how unbearable that would be if I did it alone, what I’m trying to say is, I want to thank you and I can’t thank you enough, because if it weren’t for you, I… I’d be…” I stuttered, realizing the huge change Taeyeon had done for me, because I’m alive, I’m breathing.

I looked at her again, forcing my throat not to close up so I could finish what I’m about to say.

“…dead, and because of me you suffered a lot, really, you didn’t have to do that, it’s our lives we’re talking about, what made you risk yours for a complete stranger like me? And now look at you, you can’t even croak a word or blink once…” I was holding her cold hands, enveloping it with my warmth. I exhaled and my breathed ebbed away with the mist, disappearing into nothingness.

“I promise you, I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back on track again, I’ll help with your recovery, physically and financially if ever you need help not just because of the fact that I owe you deeply, but because I sort of felt connected to you when we first met, hours ago inside a freaking collapsing building…” the thought of it made me want to smile or chuckle despite the gravity of it which I thought was a good start, it means if I can smile right now hours after the tragedy, then I know everything’s going to be fine, I may be forever scarred but I know I’ll be okay.

“…I’m glad I trusted you” I murmured inaudibly while tracing soothing circles on her hand.

At that moment I thought I saw a miracle unfold right in front of me, Taeyeon’s battered hand moved, slowly capturing my hand that lay atop of hers, she gave it a weak squeeze and tears immediately fell from my eyes.

“Oh Taeyeon! Thank God, thank God, it’s alright, you’re going to be okay” I blabbered again and again and to my immense astonishment, my body acted on its own as I gave Taeyeon a kiss on the forehead. I felt her jolt up, most likely surprised by sudden intimate act. Our were hands still linked when the tip of our fingers started to touch and then for some reason I don’t know but in some way felt right, bit by bit our fingers slipped in between the spaces of our hands.

TBC