“Bàba You okay?”

Chanyeol is brought out of his thoughts by his son tugging on his sleeve. He closes his eyes for a few seconds then looks at his surroundings to see that he’s just standing in front of the vending machine down from Jongin’s room. He manages a weak smile at Kyungsoo. “Yeah, I’m okay.” Okay as he can be in this situation, he thinks. Things are obviously terrible, maybe the worst they’ve ever been, but he has to hold himself together for his son.

“They’ll be fine,” Kyungsoo reassures him. The way he says it makes Chanyeol kind of believe that they will be. “The nurse sent me to tell you that they’re planning to wake Hyung up tomorrow.” With the extent of his injuries, they had induced Jongin into a short coma until the worst of the pain would be over.

Chanyeol nods and pats Kyungsoo on the back. “I think it’s best if you stay with your appa tomorrow. Things will be a little crazy and stressful.” Kyungsoo scowls at the mention of Baekhyun but gives an understanding nod and returns to Jongin’s room to see him one last time before they had to return back home. Chanyeol stares back at the vending machine and frowns. He’s not hungry; he hasn’t been for the past couple of days.

//

He has the same dream over and over.

The real thing had been the most painful and terrifying moment of his life, but his mind feels surprisingly clear. Just like in real life, he feels onto his back, feeling a patch of blood already spreading. He can’t make out his attacker’s face; there’s just a black shadow standing over him that leaves before it can become something.

Another shadow appears over him, but this one stays long enough to change into a person: Taemin. Taemin looks extremely worried. He’s screaming, crying, and his hands are frantically trying to pull Jongin up, but he’s shaking too much. But his eyes don’t stay too long on the teen; they stray up to the sky behind him.

It wouldn’t be too terrible, he thinks, if this is the last thing ever sees. He picked a nice day to go out, so the sky is clear and blue. It could be worst, he supposes. Besides that, he’s made it this far with a husband who loves him and a stepson who lights up his world everyday. And something… someone else…

//

The first thing Jongin notices when he wakes up is how bad his back hurts. It doesn’t hurt nearly as much as the explosion of pain he had after he was initially shot, but this is definitely up there. He groans and shifts a little and peeks an eye open. Chanyeol is hovering over him looking worried, and even though he looks distressed, Jongin still thinks it’s the best thing to wake up to. Well, he still loves seeing Kyungsoo’s cute, unmanageable bed head in the morning, and once the baby’s born he’s sure he’ll look forward to seeing her face every minute of the day. At the thought of the baby, his hand moves to this stomach, and what he feels terrifies him. More what he doesn’t feel.

“The baby,” he croaks out. His throat is extremely dry. “I’m not pregnant anymore. I lost it.”

Before he can start to panic, Chanyeol hugs him as best as he can with all the machines and kisses his forehead. “No, no, you didn’t. Apparently, from the angle you were standing, the man who tried to rob you didn’t know you were pregnant and when he sh- hurt you he ran off and left the car. Taemin was able to drive you here so they could save you both.”

Jongin shakes his head. “Have I been out long? I still had 3 and a half months to go, she wasn’t ready to be born.”

“It was the only way she had a chance of surviving…” Chanyeol pulls back and holds Jongin’s hand. “She’s tiny… but she’s here. She’s in the neonatal intensive care unit; I’ve been visiting her every day.”

Jongin’s eyes start to tear up with an emotion he can’t place. It’s not even one single emotion he’s feeling. He’s extremely happy that he gets to meet his daughter soon, but he knows that being born that early… she was probably clinging to life, and he couldn’t help but feel like he could have done something to prevent this. What was he doing going to that kind of area in the first place? “Can I see her?”

Chanyeol smiles a little and nods. “As soon as you’re feeling up to it, we can wheel you down there. You’ll have to wash up and wear scrubs.”

“We haven’t even thought of a name… I thought we had months.”

“When we see her, we can think of one together.”

-

Forty-five minutes later after Jongin has washed up, changed his bandages and changed into scrubs, a similarly-dressed Chanyeol is pushing him in a wheelchair to NICU. Jongin’s nervous. He has no idea what to expect or what to do as he’s about to meet his child, but he felt a little sad knowing he couldn’t hold her until she was able to survive on her on. His heart falls even more when Chanyeol wheels him to the incubator marked ‘Baby Park’ and he see his tiny daughter hooked up to machines that makes her seem even smaller.

Chanyeol takes a seat on one side of the incubator and reaches in to hold their baby’s hand which is so much smaller than his finger. Her eyes are closed but she seems awake as she reacts to being touch and squirms a little. “She likes the contact,” he explains. “The doctor says it’s the warmth she likes since she doesn’t have enough body fat to keep her warm.”

“Oh,” Jongin breathes out, when he touches his daughter’s hand for the first time.
You’re here… you shouldn’t be here now, but you are and I’m sorry,” he rabbles on. “I shouldn’t have gone out there. If something happens to you, it’ll-“

“No, Jongin, it’s not your fault if something happens.” Chanyeol’s voice is quiet but stern. “Someone hurt you, and they better hope the police find them before I do.”

Jongin sighs and touches one of the many tubes attached to their daughter. “How long does she have to stay like… this? When can we hold her?”

“Well, she needs to get her weight up, of course. And she’s not, um, breathing well on her own, so…”

Again, Jongin lets out a long sigh and nods. “I… I think we should wait to name her. I mean, we shouldn’t rush it or anything. Just because she’s hear now, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t really think about a good name.” Chanyeol nods at his husband’s words but also at the unspoken thought between them. Maybe prolonging picking a name would make it hurt a little less if things turned bad.

They stay with their daughter for as long as the nurses will let them. Chanyeol suggests that they go eat something in the cafeteria, but Jongin insists that he’s tired and wants to go back to his hospital room. When they get there, Jongin’s surprised to see his assistant standing in the middle of the room, staring at the television in the corner of the room. “Taemin?” The teenager startles and turns around to greet his boss. The way his knees slightly bend as he bows makes Jongin think that the boy would have done a full formal bow if he wasn’t holding flowers and a box of candy in his hands.

“Hyung!” He straightens up and does another, less pronounced, bow to Chanyeol. “I’ve never visited someone in a hospital, so um, I brought you flowers and chocolate.”

Chanyeol scoffs and wheels Jongin next to the bed so he can help him in. “Are you trying to date him?”

Taemin immediately blushes and stammers a bit. “I just- I dunno. I just wanted to do something nice for him…”

“Don’t be rude, Chanyeol,” Jongin lightly scolds. He groans a bit as moving into his bed puts a small strain on his stitches.

His husband rolls his eyes a bit and leans down to whisper in Jongin’s ear in the pretense of helping him sit up better. “He likes you.”

Jongin ignores the comment and smiles at Taemin as he accepts the gifts. “Thank you, Taemin. I hope you didn’t worry too much about me.”

Taemin blushes harder than before and shakes his head. “I’ve been working on the pictures we were able to get done. I wasn’t sure if you want to continue the series after… But, um, if you do, the pictures are ready, so…I should actually go back and develop more film, if you’d like?”

“That would be amazing, Taemin, thank you for helping me so much.” He smiles again and waves as the teen scurries out of the room. “He doesn’t like me. I’m his mentor and senior so he gets nervous.”

“Because he thinks you’re hot.” Chanyeol crosses his arms and falls into the chair next to the bed.

“You’re just being jealous. Unnecessarily, I should add.” He reaches out for Chanyeol’s hand. “He’s been working for me for less than a month. I’ve been pregnant the entire time we’ve known each other.”

“Doesn’t make you any less hot…” Chanyeol mutters under his breath. He glares at Jongin’s hand for a second but takes it.

Jongin can only laugh to himself and squeeze his husband’s hand. “How’s Kyungsoo? Has he seen the baby yet?”

“No, not yet. NICU rules say he has to be at least sixteen. But once she’s healthy enough to be in the nursery, he wants to see her. Right now, he’s staying with Baekhyun.” The corners of hi mouth downturn a bit. “He’s not as openly rude to him anymore, but he wasn’t happy about it.” Chanyeol sighs and shakes his head. “It’s… exhausting playing referee between them. I can’t imagine how it’ll be when Kyungsoo’s actually a teen.”

“And how are you?”

Chanyeol shrugs. “I mean, I’d like my son to get along with his father, but-“

“I meant with… this thing. I’ve been in the hospital, and you’ve been having to take care of thing by yourself.”

“Don’t I do everything at home anyway?” Chanyeol teases.

Jongin gives his husband a stern look. “Yeol, I’m being serious.”

Chanyeol pulls his hand away and stands up. “Don’t worry about me right now. Just concentrate on getting better. I’m going outside for a minute.”

The air is thick between them for the rest of the day and for the rest of the week. Jongin gets discharged after a few days once he’s able to walk around without too much pain, but their daughter stays as she’s showing very little improvement. Everyday they go visit her and sit with her a while, talking to her about anything they can think of: friends, family, home. All the while they refer to her as ‘baby girl’ or ‘sweetie’, still too afraid to name her.

Three weeks after the incident, Jongin finally gets around to calling Baekhyun to thank him for keeping Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo texts him every other hour, alternating between begging to come home and giving a play-by-play of his day. As much as he misses his stepson, Jongin’s been going about his day like a zombie and doubts he could take care of him very well. Baekhyun and Jongin usually don’t speak to each other for extended periods of time, but this conversation is… interesting.

After hanging up, Jongin searches for his husband and finds him sitting on their small balcony, his fingers fiddling with a Rubik’s cube. Back when Chanyeol had a bad drinking problem, he spent a lot of time looking for ways to keep his hands busy so that they wouldn’t end up clutching a bottle. Oddly, the one thing that worked well was working on Rubik’s cubes. It’s something that he’s kept up throughout the years whenever life felt too stressful. Drinking his problems away didn’t seem to work in his advantage, so no matter how strange his coping mechanism, it didn’t hurt others around him.

Jongin watches quietly for a bit as Chanyeol concentrates on his puzzle. Out of habit, Jongin rests a hand on his stomach, but immediately recoils from the disappearing bump. In a happier situation, he would feel great about losing his baby weight, but it just makes him feel terrible when he thinks about the baby that should be in there.

“Are you gonna teach me how to solve one of those one days?”

Chanyeol jumps in his seat and looks up. “Hey! Sorry… I was just really into… this.” He sets the half-finished cube in the chair next to him and holds out his hand. “Come sit.” Jongin sits in his husband’s lap and kisses the top of his head. “What’s up?”

“Well, I called Baekhyun to thank him for keeping Kyungsoo.”

“Are they fighting?”

Jongin shakes his head and holds Chanyeol’s hand. “They’re fine. But Baekhyun told me something interesting.” Chanyeol raises an eyebrow. “When you called him after my accident, he said you were so distraught that you couldn’t even speak in full sentences. You spent an hour on the phone with him crying because you thought you would lose us.”

Chanyeol shifts uncomfortably and lets out a heavy sigh. “I need to have a talk with Baekhyun about blabbing.”

“No. I mean, yes, Baekhyun is a huge gossip, but I’m glad he told me. You should have told me, Yeol. I know you’re worried about me, but I worry about you, too. The accident… it happened to my body, but it happened to both of us. We’re going through some pretty… ty times, and we need to be each other’s support. The last thing we need to be doing is hiding things from each other.”

Silence falls over them for a few minutes as Chanyeol considers his husbands words. Eventually, he starts nodding and wraps his arms around Jongin’s waist. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“So, we need to talk about what we’re avoiding.” Jongin slides of Chanyeol’s lap and kneels in front of him, firmly holding his hands. “She needs a name. If she d-“ He pauses. “If things don’t turn out okay, we can’t let her be ‘Baby Park.’ She is our daughter, and we have loved her as long as we’ve known about her. And even if her life is short, she is a real person who we love and we can’t forever think of her as…  a nameless light in our life. We can’t give up on her. We need to go forward as if we know she’ll be here in a month. Our daughter needs all the support we can give her.”

Chanyeol smiles a bit and nods. “You…are amazing. I would marry you ten times over if I could. And you’re right. Let’s name her.”

-

Kyungsoo barely knows what to do with himself as he waits for Chanyeol and Jongin to get home. Anticipating this moment for the whole day, he completed his homework at school, which he wishes he had to distract him now. He texts Luhan for a bit, but the teen is notorious for taking forever to text back, so he actually cleans his room a bit.

He’s so close to just calling one of his parents when he finally hears the front door passcode being entered and the door swinging open. He rushes to the front room where Chanyeol is holding the door open so that Jongin can fit through the door with the carseat. Kyungsoo trails behind Jongin as he walks over to the kitchen table and sets the carseat down. The baby inside is small for a four-month-old, but she’s alert and turns her attention to Kyungsoo when he comes into view. Her eyes are wide, similar to Chanyeol’s, but her lips are 100 percent Jongin’s. Even with all the annoyances of living with another baby, he’s excited to meet his new sibling and his heart’s so full of love for her. He leans down to kiss her check, not minding when her drool-covered hands grab at his nose. Kyungsoo laughs and lets her wrap a tiny hand around his finger.

“Hi, Haneul… I’m your brother.”

Oh, hi again. <3