I knew what I’d done the minute the door closed. I fell on the ground in horror. He was leaving and never coming back and I didn’t realize what a fool I had been this entire time. I wasted all this time thinking solely about myself when he was the one who needed me the most. Now… it was too late.

    I looked at the door that led to my apartment for a few more seconds before standing up and running after him. I knew he’d already be on the elevator, so I took the stairs. Five flights down didn’t bother me, but when I saw he was already gone, my legs felt like they were going to break. I regretted everything I had done in the last year. I knew he was leaving for good but I brushed it off and spent my time pushing him away as I usually did, when I should have welcomed him with open arms.

    “Hongbin-ah…” someone’s voice broke my thoughts. I didn’t want to talk to anyone right now or more like I couldn’t talk to them. I turned my head and saw my friend from two doors down the hall. His name was Jaehwan but he preferred to be called Ken. He was tall and blonde haired. He was one of the most out-going people I knew and all he did was crack jokes. I wiped away my tears that were b my eyes.

    “What?” I choked out. He looked at me worriedly. I couldn’t think straight and my chest hurt. 

    “Are you okay?” he examined me, his usual smiling face totally different. I hated this. I hated to look like a idiot, standing here in my building lobby, about to cry because my best friend just walked out on me. 

    “Y-yeah… fine.” I pushed him out of my way as I went to the elevator, about to cry. I didn’t want Jaehwan to see me cry… ever. I hit the up button but the door wouldn’t open soon enough. Jaehwan was standing next to me again, looking at my face, which remained indifferent. My eyes were the ones that gave away my sadness. I sighed and turned to him.

    “What do you want? Why are you following me?” I asked, my tone a little more harsher than I wanted it to be. He stepped back slightly, not dropping his gaze on me. We’ve known each other for years and even went to the same school. When we both moved into the same apartment building, I was ecstatic, but now, I wish he’d leave me alone.

    “Hongbin, you look like you’re about to cry. What happened?” he asked again, trying his best to understand. I knew he wanted to be able to relate to me to make me feel better, but I don’t think he has ever been through this. He has never been such of an idiot as I have been. 

    “It’s nothing. Leave me alone.” I hissed and stepped in the elevator quickly as the door opened. The fifth floor button lit up as I clicked it and the door closed, making Jaehwan disappear on the other side. The second it closed, I burst into tears. I despised crying-- it made me look weak. Now, though, was a different story. I couldn’t control the drops of water that fell down my cheek and into my hands. I looked down to the ground and more tears fell on the floor. Damn, Hongbin. You’re so dumb. I cursed at myself for crying, for letting him leave, for everything.