"Hey Kai."

"Hi Kris." I say dully.

"Well, I'm glad to see you're excited to be here." Kris says sarcastically.

"Sorry." I apologize. "I'm just running through any possible scenarios of sudden death that may happen to me today."

"Don't say that, you'll be fine. Just don't-"

"Don't think about it. Everyone seems to tell me that but I don't think it works." I say cutting him off.

"Just keep trying Kai." Kris sighs while patting my shoulder.

This . I mean, you'd think that since last class I would cleared my head off, but now its more cluttered than ever. I have to draw Kyungsoo and it just... it just doesn't feel right. I don't think I would feel like this with any other model though. With any other I would go into a panic attack, but with him I go into a cardiac arrest. Maybe it's because I respect him. I knew him personally before, but now he turned from the innocent cute guy to a mature young man.

He's been in my mind a lot lately. I feel kinda bad for not trying to keep in touch with him all these years. It would've been nice to see how he grew into the person he is now. Granted I don't really know him that well anymore, but I wish I did. And that whole crush thing on me.. 

"Feeling more confident today?"

"I'd feel more comfortable jumping off of a cliff with sharp rocks at the bottom." I say turning to Kyungsoo.

"Don't think like that. I'd miss you too much if you did that. Just don't think about what you're doing." He says taking the stool next to me.

"You're the fifth person to tell me that today. The more I hear it the more I think about not thinking about it, which makes me think about it more than I thought about it to begin with."  I say. Pretty sure I can see his brain short circuiting.

"Then think about something else."

"Like what?"

"Think about something you like." Hmmm, that's not a bad idea.

"What do I like?" I say thinking out loud.

"Well, you could always think about that crush I had on you in high school. You seemed to like that a lot the other day." He says with a smirk. I instantly look away, trying to hide the blush on my face.

"Alright everyone, the class is starting. Please take your seats." Kris says.

"You gonna be ok?" He says while ing his shirt.

I swallow hard. "I think so. Just don't expect me to stay conscious the whole time."

"Jongin," He says coming close to me. "You're going to be fine. You got this."

He gives me a smile the turns around to continue undressing. His shirt comes off his shoulders and I'm met with his . That's not so scary. Then goes the jeans. That's a little more intimidating. I focus on his back and avoid anything below the waist as he gets up on the plataform. He gets in pose and everyones starts sketching him. Well, everyone but me.

I can feel it again. My heart starting to race, my forehead forming beads of sweat, goosebumps breaking all over my skin, and that familiar dizziness and nausea starting to appear.

Focus Kai. Pick something, anything, and start sketching. Well, I like Kyungsoo clothed. Yeah, that's not helping... ehm.. oh, I like the feeling I get when air brushes against me. Yeah, let's go with that. Like when I go to my tree. Sometimes I go when I'm feeling down or just need to cool my head off, and sit underneath it and close my eyes and just let the breeze touch my skin. And then every problem I have doesn't seem so big anymore. It's just so... calming.

"Wow, Kai, That's beautiful." I hear a voice snapping me out of my thoughts.

Kris is leaning against my shoulder along with my entire circle of classmates. Even Kyungsoo, as awkward as it is, is over here. I lean back as well to look at my creation and... to my dissapointment, it's not a person. I literally sketched what I was thinking. Don't get me wrong, this is probably one of the best things I've ever drawn, but it's not going to help me pass this class.

"Where is this?" Kyungsoo asks.

"It's my tree. The view I get when I go over there."

"Wow", "That's really good", "No wonder he got accepted here" I hear a few random students say.

"That's really good Kai. Although, it'll be good if you'd be here instead of there." Kris says. Jerk.

"I know." I say sadly.

"Alright everyone, go back to your seats." He says.

Everyone goes back and start sketching Kyungsoo again. I flip the page on my sketchbook and look at him. I got this, right?

Only, I notice the more I look at Kyungsoo's form, the more my vision starts to blurry. Every time I blink it gets more blurry. So I try and stop blinking. Do you have any idea how hard that is? It's like sand paper in my eyes.

I start blinking only when I have to. Unfortunaly, that's a lot. Hmm, well, I've lasted ten minutes. That's my personal record right? My breath hitches when I finally realise what I'm looking at. It's a person. Right in front of me. Right there. ... Person...

"Mr. Wu..." I hear a student say next to me quietly. Out of the corner of my eyes I can see a few students getting ready for my next freak out. Perfect.

Seriously, my life.