Baekhyun fell in love with Jongin on his 15th birthday.

Amazing, how he realized he was in love with him, with his best friend. He just turned fifteen and he knew he wanted Jongin more than friends. They were together since they were little - they were childhood buddies. They grew up together, spent most of their time together. Jongin was two years younger than him. They were really close and almost did everything together when they were both studying, they played games, they watched movies, they drank together, they slept together, almost everything.

Baekhyun hated that Jongin grew taller than him. But funny how he loved it when he cuddled to Jongin, he felt safe, warm and loved. He thanked heavens that Jongin's tall frame matches him, and he fits perfectly in Jongin's warm embrace.

Baekhyun could clearly remember how Jongin held his birthday cake in front of him, with his face all lit up with bright smiles, eyes forming into a beautiful crescent. He was asked to make a wish before he blows the candle. He did not wish though before blowing the candles off. That time, they locked gazes and he could swear his heart beat erratically at the sight of bright Jongin. He fell for his wide smile and caring personality.

He was happy to be Jongin's bestfriend and it was enough for him. He has Jongin as a friend and he's contented to end it just as that. His feeling grew from a shallow one to a depper one, as time passes. He felt scared. He needed to stop this uncontrollable feelings.

There were times that he felt the urge to hug him, to kiss him. But he was successful in hiding his true emotions. He fought with his own feelings. He repressed the idea of being in love with his bestfriend.

Jongin was a player, Baekhyun did not understand why. He gets a girlfriend in a second and dumps them in a second too. Maybe they are not just meant to be together. May be he's still looking for his true love. He concluded to himself. Somehow, he felt good having to hear his bestfriend break up with a girl, or guy, not that he's mocking on their mishaps.

And, yes Jongin was gay too.

The first time Jongin told him he had a boyfriend, Baekhyun was in utter shock. He did not notice Jongin to swung that way. How resentful he was when he heard those confessions from his best friend, who he loved. All this time, he kept his feelings knowing Jongin wasn't gay and his confession would just ruin everything in between them.

But will it make any difference if he had confess? Will Jongin love him the way he loves him?

All these questions in his mind were pressed back in the deepest side of his brain, long kept. How he tried to forget them, how he tried to forget the indescribable emotions he felt when he and Jongin held hands. He took all his courage to supress his feelings and kept it at bay every time Jongin hugs him.

At one point Jongin's announcement of a break up with someone whom he does not know made Baekhyun happy. And on the other hand, came Jongin's confession of having a relationship with a new one, this crushed his heart terribly. He did not know he was masochist, may be just for Jongin he will be. This cycyle repeats more than ten times already, but he dared not confess or act on it. Amazing how he's still alive all this while after experiencing a routine of having his heart broken.

Baekhyun is a coward. He knew that but he did not act on it.

There's this one instance when he felt he felt his heart shattered into million bits. Jongin confessed to him that at some point when they were fifteen or sixteen, he's not sure though, he fell for Baekhyun. But he was also afraid that it would ruin what they had.

"You know what hyung, I fell in love with you once. I don't know when or how. But I knew you were my first love. I just hid it from you, cause I'm afraid I'd lose you if i tell you. Sorry for keeping a secret to you, hyung."

Every night in his deep slumber, Jongin's words kept ringing in his ears like a broken record. It hurt him too bad. "If i just told him I love him." He regretted everything. But past is past and we can't go back and fix what's broken. We can't change what had happened in the past.

There was a time when Jongin asked him why he never had been into a relationship, but he just replied he was not ready. Jongin believed him and he's thankful for that. He pretended to be straight to ignore the blossoming emotions he felt for the younger male. His feeling for him surely has gone deeper and deeper as he witness how the young Jongin grew up into a perfect and handsome guy. He fell harder when he saw how passionate the younger was when dancing. He melted right then and there when he first saw him perform on stage. Jongin moved in a fluid motion, his movements blended well to the tune of the song. It was breath-taking. And again for the umpteenth time, Jongin stole his heart away.

And that was when he concluded that he can't fall for any one but Kim Jongin.

Baekhyun fell for Jongin, but Jongin wasn't there to catch him.

He fell harder, to the extent that his heart was bruised.

Baekhyun woke up as the sunlight shone his face. He squinted his eyes and lazily sat up. It was friday and last day of work. He should be energized at the thought but no, he was not.  He forced himself to take a bath. Minutes later he was dressed up in a suit ready for his job. He works in an accounting firm for a good six months now. He is twenty years old now and he lives by himself on his own appartment.

He took a glass of milk and a bowl of cereals to fill his empty stomach. Soon he finished eating and took his bag to go to work. He fished his phone from his pocket and checked for any messages he received. He saw one text message from Jongin.

From Kkamjongin:

Hyung, please come to the unversity tomorrow. I want you to be there, and watch the star perform. And I have something important to tell you.

Baekhyun chuckled at the name he used to call Jongin, he gave him kkamjongin  as a nickname because he had a distinct dark skin tone compared to an average korean. At first Jongin was pissed, but he get used to it along the way.

He then fumbled on the screen to send a quick and short reply. And by short the message just read:

To Kkamjongin:

Ok.

He then tucked the phone back on his pocket after checking the time. It's already 8:30 and his work starts by 9:00 am. And off he headed for work.

A/N:

sorry for any typos, i did not have time to check,and im thankful for those who PM's me to inform me of my mistakes :)

whoah, Kaibaek made me talk so much, I felt like I need to share a bit of a background first before we get to the present hmmm.

thanks for subscribing !!

please comment down so i will know how the story's going.

this is actually harder than i thought..huhul~!