* Sorry for taking so long to write another chapter, are my chapters too long, too short? ;; I'm not too sure, but thank you so much for reading my story so far, want to say thank you to you for reading, subscribing and commenting, hope you enjoy this chapter! I do apologise if any of my facts are wrong and don't make sense (/___\) international schools still complicate me but I have a small understanding from my friends who study in them *

(Same as previous chapter, the Italiced text are lyrics)

"WHAT?" as I yelled at my parents today, dad had just come in from a night shift from work, you could see he was tired and not in the mood for this talk either as he walked in standing behind mum. Mum was sitting across from me on the table, she had just slided this booklet across the table to me. They wanted me to transfers schools, to an international school instead because of the benefits it would provide. I knew that my cousins who lived in Hong Kong also attended an international school over there. As they provided English as the teaching language, which would benefit if I did want a job overseas. I let out a sigh, but I guess it would be better going to this school instead of being sent over to live with my cousins and their parents - its what happened with my brother but he started in a junior school in Sha Tin, he lived alot of his life over there.

My parents just looked at me, I knew they were giving me no option but I sat there just staring at the booklet, Utahloy school huh? My dad walked out of the kitchen, while my mum said "lets go", as it was time for her to go to work and my school day to start. Picking up the booklet I put it in my bag, this life isn't even mine anymore, I read over it later I guess.

When I reached school, I saw crowd of girls in my class all talking, I went to me seat and my friend approached me "Are you coming?", I looked at her confused and dropped my bag next to my desk and sat down. She went on to talk "We're allowed to watch todays basket ball practice! Everyones going after school!", still look at her, I paused for a few seconds thinking why would I watch it, then I remembered - I'll see him there. I quickly stood up in shock and sat back down realising what I just did, even if no one was looking I was slightly embarassed and put my head down and let out a "Yes, I'll go", my friend let out a giggle and went back to her seat.

Class started for the day but I couldn't help but stare at the clock, I wanted time to go faster but at the same time I didn't as I had to think of the future. I wouldn't be able to atleast try and say hi to you again though would I? Why am I so afraid to approach you? What if I said something stupid, or you didn't like me?

(Don't be hesitant anymore)

I decided maybe I'll say hi to you soon when we passed each other in the hall all the time, but everytime it happens, I'll just catch a glimpse of your face trying to control my heartbeat, I don't know why Kris but I still can't bring myself to say hi. I don't want to regret it either though I, I'll be the one leaving soon while everyone stays on one more year in this middle school and then everyone will go to different high schools. I won't be able to see you anymore, there so little time left for me to act. Why do these feelings exist?

(Just take out my heart)

Suddenly the afternoon came and my friend grabbed me on the hand and yelled "Come on! We need to get a good view!", I could tell she was excited so I just nodded, quickly trying to get a hold of my bag and walked with her. "Ah, this is no fair!" she said looking at me, as I looked around it was quite busy, usually this area was barely crowded, but so many people came to watch just a practice? I looked at the court, we still had a good view but I guess she just wanted to be closer? I let out a smile though as I could instantly spot you. I looked in awe. I forgot all my troubles just watching you play basket ball - how was that even possible? My heart beat a little faster watching you play. You were so cool on the court, even practicing, you were so quick, in a world of your own. How could someone be so passionate, I wish I could be like that. I wish I could be fighting for something that meant that much to me.

I got nudged, ah, I was brought back to my senses, this whole time I just had my eyes on you, ignoring everyone else completely and all the screaming that was going on. I turned to my friend and she looked at me with her hand near her head pointing to her watch. "I got to go, my parents are going to shout of me for being late", I nodded and waved to her as she ran, its time to make my way back home too as I walked in the opposite direction, I turned back one more time to see you practicing and left with a smile on my face.

Getting back home I shouted "I'm home", looking around the hallway, doesn't look like anyone was in again today. Looking at the table there was a note from mum, food was in the fridge and just microwave it was the usual, as I did my regular routine again. After finishing eating and cleaning up the kitchen a bit I headed to my room, it was already dark as I opened my door. You could see the moonlight shining in.

(The moonlight is a piercing light tonight, close your eyes)

I flick my light switch on and threw my bag to the floor near my desk, it opened a little bit with some books sticking out, grabbing the chair and sighing, theres still work to be done before we graduate 8th grade and before I leave. I held my head in my hands.

(Baby don't cry tonight)

(Just pretend that it never happened)

Looking down at my desk I realised I was crying, I may still be young, maybe I didn't fully understand, I wanted to pretend that I was dreaming this morning, I know it would be good for me but I really wanted to stay in that Guangzhou middle school, its just one more grade, I wanted another year with him, I need to be stronger. Trying to stop myself from crying I rubbed my eyes and shut them tightly, trying to imagine your smile.

(Put down your most uneasy heart)

(Please just accept fate)

(When you smile, sunshines)

I wonder what you think of Kris, do you have these worries too? I shook my head, maybe you're alright, I didn't want to think that you were unhappy, but everyone has a different part of themselves right? I wanted to know if I could know that part of you. With my tears stopping at the thought of you, I pulled out my books and started studying. I tried to concentrate but I spoke and just said quietly "Kevin Li, why" as I shut my eyes and put my head down on the desk.

(You're too brilliant to the point that I can't speak)

A few days past, I'm still trying to get the courage to talk to you. Why can't I just strike up a simple conversation? I've seen some other girls that just talk to you, I was little jealous at that thought. As I sat in my normal seat my friend hit me around the head. "He's not here anymore", I shot her a glare yet a confused face. She came up to me and shook me while I sat, feeling uneasy, my stomach turned and my heart was uncontrolable. "I knew you liked him, but hes gone", I looked at her and looked away, I could see the girls in my class, they were all sad too. I looked back at her and mouth "really?". She was still shaking me and said "Yes, I don't know why but-", before she could continute I stood up and left class heading to the toilets.

(My entire heart is beaten by waves)

(And it only stops when its crushed into pieces)

As I was in the toilets I could hear someone else crying, the news really travelled quick huh? I looked at myself in the mirror, touching my eyebags, my eyes were a little puffy with a hint of sadness. I can't stay here anymore I thought to myself, there an then I made my decision, I'll transfer schools. I lost my chance to even talk to you. Instead of me leaving it was actually you, if only I could see your smile one last time. . .

(Rather I have to watch you go)

(Just let my love be like a memory)

(I'm about to suffocate , hurting until I have no strength, the only remedy is your smile)

(Don't cry, don't hesitate, don't struggle, this has already begun to collapse)

Walking out I, the basket ball team had just passed me and they were walking with the P.E teacher, their coach, I could keep hearing them say "Why?" repeatly. It looks like most of the school was sad about this news. Will we ever find out why?

Returning back to class my friend looked at me, watching me sit down she came over and patted my back "You'll like someone else" she smiled at me and said "I like someone else again!", I looked at her in surprise, she just smiled at me "It didn't work out with you know who~ and this other guy asked me out and look he brought me this" as she pointed to her bag, it was a cute rilakkuma charm that hung onto her bag. I could only smile back at her, if only my small crush was that easy to deal with. "Maybe I'll find someone else" I said to her to cheer her up as she could see this news took quick a toll on me and sat back on her seat waiting for class to start.

I thought to myself though, are first loves suppose to be this complicted? My friend, was she even in love I thought, but shes happy so I let out a smile.

But does this mean I have to forget about you? There was still a huge pain in my heart that I can't forget though. It's been less than a year since you came, less than a year since I liked you, that's not normal is it?

(Just pretend it never happened)

The day was as normal, many more people were still sad about this news of you though, I didn't even say good bye to you. If I could have that is. Back at home my mum was home for once, I looked at her as she was preparing dinner and I said "I'll transfers schools", she turned to look at me and replied "Its' for next year anyway, finish middle school first, then you'll go there for high school, we just wanted to know what you think, so one more year at Guangzhou middle school okay, you'll still have a year with your friends til they go high school too"

Why couldn't they have said that earlier I thought to myself. I didn't want to stay in that school anymore if he wasn't there, the happy things that happened there I wanted to keep that as a memory, I wanted to keep that moment of you playing basket ball and smiling at me in the halls my last year there so I could keep it as a memory of my first feelings. Now I'll have to spend another year there like every other year doing the same thing over and over again til I graduate. I don't want that as a last memory.

"Come on and eat" mum said placing food at the table, "I have to go work again", as she went to the bedroom, I sat down and ate by myself with all these thoughts in my head.

After the usual cleaning and eating and mum saying goodbye, going to my room I threw my bag this time at the wall. Can this be a time where I just hate life? Why does nothing ever work out? As I climbed into bed and grabbed the blanket over myself, I started crying.

(Just watch the early morning sunlight shine down)

(I think my eyes have gotten lost)

(Only now I cry, cry, cry. . .)