It was never meant to be like this. I didn't think this would happen. I regret everything I’ve done. If I could go back in time, I would change everything. It’s all my fault. All. My. Damn. Fault.

Everything was perfect. I found someone who I could finally relate to. Someone who understood me. Someone who cared. Someone I loved. I met him after being kicked out of the house after a row with my dad. Dad never really cared about me. Not since mum lost her fight with cancer. After her death, his soul died too. He never took me to the beach anymore. He never helped me out anymore. He never ate ice cream with me anymore. He was dead inside. He lied to me. He said he would be strong for mum. He never kept his promise.

When I got kicked out, I roamed around the shops that I used to go shopping at with my mum. I smiled as I remembered the happy times we had. I found myself standing in front of "Èclair",  my mum's favourite cafè. I broke down right there. It was strange though, seeing that I hadn't cried since my mum's funeral. Suddenly someone came up behind me and softly put their hand on my shoulder. I sniffed and turned around to see a guy who looked a bit older than me. He had light brown hair and he had such a breathtaking smile. I didn't care if I didn't know him. I hugged him tight and cried into his navy-coloured hoodie. He my hair and I felt like I had known him all my life. After my "break-down", he led me to a park full of tulips and sat me down, grinned and walked off. It was like God had sent me his own personal angel. I stood up to leave and found that he had left a yellow tulip on my lap. I held it and a smile crept onto my face.

I didn’t see him until two weeks later. I was sitting by the tulip park again. A hand holding an ice cream popped up in front of me. I looked up to find that the hand belonged to that guy. I grinned and took the ice cream from him. He sat down next to me and looked at me.

“It’s banana-flavoured. Are you alright with that?”

I nodded.

“That’s good.” he replied and he watched as I it.

Then walked by some girls. They looked at me, sniggered and turned to him.

“Hey, pretty boy. Come and have some fun with us! Why are you around a mute like her?”

His eyes opened wide in shock. He turned to me.

“You…you can’t talk?”

I lowered my head and shook it. I got ready for him to stand up and leave with the other girls.

He didn’t. Instead, he put his arm around me and pulled me close to him. “Sorry ladies,” he said, “But I’m currently spending some time with my precious mute girlfriend.”

He held my hand and led me away. We walked a fair distance and he abruptly stopped. He looked me in the eye.

“I really don’t know much about you, do I?”

I smiled sadly and shook my head. I pulled out my baby-blue notepad and a pen from my plaited bag.

“Why did you help me in the first place at the cafè?"

"It was my sister's favourite. Elcair, right? Yeah...she's in heaven now." he smiled as he said this and he looked up into the sky. "She wouldn't want anyone being upset in front of it."

I grabbed his hand and started walking in the direction of my house.

“Where are we going?”

I took out my notebook again.

“Somewhere I haven’t taken anyone before.” I was going to let him into my past.

We walked up to my front porch and opened the door. Dad was there sitting on the armchair in the lounge room, waiting for me.

“Where have you been?”

“Out.” I replied with my hands.

“Who’s that?” he asked.

“My boyfriend.”

He stood up. “You never thought about telling me what you do outside of home?! AFTER ALL I’VE DONE, YOU DON’T EVEN BOTHER TELLING ME ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?!”

I had enough. He had pushed me to my limit.

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” My hands waved around with big sharp movements. “YOU’VE SHUT ME OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOR A YEAR AND A HALF! YOU DON’T SPEND TIME WITH ME ANYMORE! WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I TELL YOU ANYTHING?!”

“Don’t you know how I feel? DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOUR MUM! MY WIFE! SHE’S GONE! DON’T YOU GET IT? I’M HURTING THE MOST HERE! YOU MIGHT NOT CARE MUCH ABOUT IT BUT I DO! I’L NEVER FIND SOMEONE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH!”

“You are NOT hurting the most! Mum’s gone and I DON’T HAVE A DAD ANYMORE! I hate you so much.” I dragged my boyfriend into my room with me and I slammed the door behind us.

Tears prickled my eyes but I refused to let them out.

“I can…um…leave, if you want. I think it’s not a very good time for me to be over…” he forced out an unsteady laugh.

“It’s alright,” I wrote, “Dad’s always like this. Just give him some time to calm down. He’ll be alright.”

I didn’t know how wrong I was at that time.

I smiled at him and I turned to face the drawer that I hadn’t opened since mum passed away. Shaking, I slowly walked up to it. I placed my hand on the handle and slowly pulled it open. It was full of drawings and mother’s day and birthday cards that belonged to my mum, from me. The tears that had threatened to come spilling out finally won. I closed my eyes as they rolled down my cheeks. He walked up to me and hugged me from behind.

I softly shook him off me and looked inside the drawer.

“Were these your mum’s?”

I nodded. “Sorry you had to hear all of that in the lounge just then. Not exactly the perfect first impression of my dad.”

“It’s ok. Well, I guess I know more about you…was Èclair your mum’s favourite?”

I nodded again in response.

“I realized. Apparently we’ve been in a relationship for around…” he looked at his black watch,” …for about half an hour. And I still don’t know your name.”

I mouthed my name to him.

“Mi Yoong?”

I shook my head and laughed.

“Ming Yoon?”

I shook my head again.

“Alright, guess my name.” he grinned.

“Taemin.” I wrote.

He was shocked. “What? How’d you know?!”

“I saw you and your friends once. They called out your name.”

“Ahh, right. Come on! Just tell me your name.” he begged and he gave me that gorgeous smile of his.

I gave in. I picked up my pen and wrote "Min" when suddenly my door was bashed open. Dad. He looked drunk. He was holding a large knife.

“NO! APPA!” I said with my hands.

“YOU!” he pointed at Taemin. “YOU! I BET YOU’VE CORRUPTED MY DAUGHTER! EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!” he slurred.

“NO! DAD! PUT DOWN THAT KNIFE!”

“Sir, I’ll leave now. But please, put the knife down…” Taemin said, “Please.” He walked closer to my dad. I ran up to him and pulled him back. I wouldn’t let him get into any danger. But he pulled away from me and went up to my dad. He held up his hand. “Please, ajusshi, give me the knife.”

My dad eyed him and slowly started to hand the knife over. Then he raised it again and plunged it into Taemin’s chest.

The world stopped spinning. Everything turned dark except for one area. It was like there was a spotlight on Taemin as he dropped onto the floor. No…NO! TAEMIN!

I rushed over to him. At that moment, I wished I could talk. I wish I could communicate to Taemin to keep him with me. So he wouldn’t disappear. I wanted my voice, so I could call someone to help. I wanted my voice so I could yell at my dad to get someone’s aid. But I couldn’t. Just because I was a mute. Tears blurred my vision. I rested his head on my lap and held tightly onto Taemin’s hand, telling him to stay with me.

“Haha…Min…is that your name? Is there more to it?” he asked weakly. I squeezed his hand to tell him to not talk.

“No….I want…” he winced, “…I want to know your name…”

I turned around and reached over to my pen. I messily scribbled out “Min Young” on the palm of my hand.

“Min Young…” he said and smiled as if he had won a trophy.

I brushed my fingers over his lips, motioning for him to not speak. He didn't care.

"Min Young...you've been a great to me. Was I good enough for you?" I nearly slapped him. How could he have not been good enough? What did he mean by me being "great" to him? He was dying for goodness sakes! Just because of me. I heard the front door slam shut. I looked in that direction and noticed that it was dad who ran out. I couldn't believe it. That stupid, stupid coward.

Taemin’s breathing became a lot slower and deeper. Crimson blood seeped through his yellow shirt and onto the timber floor of my bedroom. The knife was still there. It was still in him. I didn’t know what to do. Everything was happening so fast. He needed help. He was dying. I couldn’t call out for anyone. Dad had gone. I would have to leave Taemin to get someone. I looked deep into his eyes.

“Stay here, alright? Don’t go anywhere. Stay here, I’ll be back soon.” I said, wondering if he could understand. He nodded. “I’ll…try…”

I slowly lifted his head off my lap and squeezed his hand one last time. “I’ll be back soon, wait for me.” I grabbed my notebook and a pen on the way out and ran to my neighbour. I had never sprinted that fast before ever, in my life. I got to their place and let myself in. They were all sitting down, eating dinner. They turned to look at me and saw me covered in blood.

“Min Young! What happened?!” The ajumma rushed over to me.

“My dad stabbed my boyfriend. What do I do?” I wrote quickly.

She scanned her eyes over the words and they widened. She turned back to look at the ajusshi. "Hurry! Call an ambulance and the cops! Someone’s been stabbed!”

I my heels and ran back to my place, with the ajumma right behind me. I flew through the house and into my room where Taemin lay. His chest was hardly moving as he tried to breathe.

“TAEMIN!” I tried to yell. “No, no, no, no, no” I thought as I got to his side. I grabbed onto his hand. His eyes slowly opened to meet mine. “Stay with me!” I urged, “Oh gosh, no, please, no, don’t leave me!” I cried harder than ever.

“Min Young, don’t…cry.” he whispered, “Wherever you are, I’ll be there, watching over you. I’ll be your guardian angel…”

His hand went limp. His chest stopped rising. There was no more breath coming out of his mouth.

I shook him so hard. He didn't respond. I squeezed his hand, trying to get some response, any kind of response.

"Taemin..." I thought, "No...Taemin! Don't go..." I cried.

The ajumma held one of my hands.

"They're here...the ambulance is here."

I furiously shook my head. I didn't want to leave him.

“I’m sorry Miss.” I heard a man say as he softly pulled me away from Taemin. I struggled against him. I pushed and shoved but he proved he was stronger than me. He put me into the arms of a police officer and went to join the rest of the team. I watched as they checked his pulse. I watched as they checked his breathing. I watched as they put a white cloth over his body.

It was never meant to be like this. I didn't think this would happen. I regret everything I’ve done. If I could go back in time, I would change everything. It’s all my fault. All. My. Damn. Fault.

They found dad and they put him on trial. He was sent to 20 years behind bars. It wasn’t even close to how much he deserved.

Taemin’s parents hate me. They say it’s all because of me that their wonderful youngest son was gone. I don’t blame them. Taemin’s older brother talked to me once, though. He said he didn’t think I was to blame. He told me that Taemin had fallen for me since two years ago. He knew when my mum died. He wanted to comfort me before but he didn’t know how to. Until that day he saw me break down in front of Éclair.

“Wherever you are, I’ll be there, watching over you. I’ll be your guardian angel…”

I believe that he is here, somewhere, in the spiritual world, looking out for me. Guiding me through my days, like an angel. My Angel.

-----------------------------------------

A/N

It's a rather short story haha. Yeah...SORRY IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE ENDING THOUGH ><

If you have time, could you maybe read my other stories too? :) It would mean so much to me.

"The World Through Our Eyes"

and

"Fan Mail"

It's got the rest of SHINee in it hehe

ANYWAY YES, THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS!

Comments will be greatly appreciated xD

:] xoxo