“Excuse me, Miss?”

Minseok slowly straightened up from where he’d been restocking twenty-four pack Dr. Pepper boxes. He tugged on the hem of his dark blue work shirt before turning around to face his attacker.

The man was in his mid-thirties, with a noticeable paunch and a sleeping baby strapped to his back.

Minseok cleared his throat. “Yes, ma’am?” He returned, dropping his voice a few octaves, eyebrow twitching upwards as the man’s eyes widened in realization.

He watched as the man’s face flushed bright red and he curled his shoulders inward, making his backpack baby stir at the motion. “Never mind,” the man mumbled, lowering his eyes contritely to the newly-polished linoleum and hurrying away.

Lips pressed tightly together to keep from bursting out into loud peals of laughter, Minseok grabbed two more twenty-four packs of Dr. Pepper and shoved them onto the bottom shelf.






“But I do not understand why I am taking this shift,” Luhan told Craig The Manager, trailing after him through the Electronic’s section. “It is three o’clock in the morning, Sunbae, I do not-”

“Sir,” Craig The Manager stated, cutting Luhan off smoothly.

Luhan’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he cocked his head to the side before he could think better of it. “What?”

“This is America, son!” Craig The Manager exclaimed, voice booming through the mostly-empty store. “Speak English! I don’t know what Japanese crap ‘Sumby’ means, but here you call me ‘sir’!”

“It is Korean,” Luhan corrected in a small voice, eyes wide at the loudness emitting from his manager. “And it means-”

“I don’t care, Luhan!” Craig The Manager told him firmly, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring down at Luhan impressively. Luhan did not cower, not at all, because he wasn’t scared of the crazy American man one tiny bit. “Just do your damn job!”

Craig The Manager walked off, leaving Luhan staring after him forlornly. “But I’m only a lowly cart pusher,” Luhan mumbled, returning to Mandarin with a miserable sigh before deciding to go bug Minseok.





“Hello and welcome to Walmart,” Yixing greeted brightly as a tall blonde man with a baby strapped to his back put a box of diapers and baby wipes on the checkout conveyor belt.

“Hello,” the man returned. “How are you?”

“Hello and welcome to Walmart,” Yixing answered promptly, watching as the man blinked in confusion.

Yixing scanned the items and put them in a bag. “1-2-4-7,” he told the man expectantly.

The man stared at him for a good minute before flinching in sudden realization and pulling out his wallet.

Yixing waited patiently until the man was done paying with his debit card before sticking his receipt in the bag and pushing it into the man’s hands. “Hello and welcome to Walmart!” He called after the customer, waving energetically.

The man didn’t acknowledge the goodbye, but the baby flailed its arms in Yixing’s general direction, so Yixing counted it as a success.





“This is ridiculous,” Luhan whined as the three of them ate their lunch in the break room. “If he’s going to make me work the overnight shift with you guys, he could at least give me a real job.”

“I got mistaken for a woman again,” Minseok told him, patting his back comfortingly before returning to the leftover kimchi jjigae that Chanyeol had sent them.

“That ,” Luhan sighed, giving Minseok an apologetic look. “I’m sorry.”

“A baby waved at me,” Yixing exclaimed brightly, giving them an excited smile.

Luhan and Minseok glared at him.

“This is all your fault, Yixing,” Luhan stated, and Minseok nodded in agreement.






“Uh, ma’am?”

Minseok slowly straightened up from where he’d been restocking 2% milk, tugging on his work shirt before turning around and fixing the woman who’d come up to him with a blank stare.

“Can you tell me where the dog food is?”

“Aisle seven,” Minseok told her, smiling smugly when she turned around and immediately began walking in the opposite direction.

He grabbed two more jugs of 2% milk and shoved them into the refrigerator.

Who needed dog food at two in the morning anyways?




“Mr. Walmart-person, sir?”

Luhan looked down from where he’d been standing idly at the carts in front of the store, only to see a small child staring wide-eyed up at him.

“I...I lost my mommy, please-”

“I am but a lowly cart pusher,” Luhan told him, sighing forlornly.





“Hello and welcome to Walmart,” Yixing greeted sunnily as a woman made her way towards him, looking terribly harried.

“Can you tell me where the dog food is?” She asked, and Yixing grinned. He loved questions.

“Hello and welcome to Walmart,” he answered happily.

The woman stared at him.

“It’s by the milk,” Luhan’s lost child said helpfully from where he was perched on the conveyor belt. “Again,” he added, giving Yixing an expectant look.

Yixing obligingly pushed the button next to the cash register, watching in amusement as the conveyor belt made a funny noise and the child began slowly creeping toward him.





“He’s still here?” Luhan asked Yixing, the two of them watching as Minseok fed the small child the bulgogi Chanyeol had sent them the day before.

“Yeah,” Yixing answered just as Minseok sighed and said “no, Daniel, you must hold the chopsticks like this.”

The Child stared at Minseok blankly.

“Shouldn’t we call the cops or something?” Luhan asked, the three of them watching on as The Child promptly broke a chopstick and began wailing loudly. Minseok whimpered.

“I was thinking maybe we could just keep him,” Yixing replied, shrugging slightly.

Minseok shot Yixing a glare. “This is all your ing fault, Yixing.”





“Excuse me, Miss, where can I find the frozen yogurt?”

Minseok bit back a sigh and stood up from where he’d been restocking chocolate syrup.

“Aisle seven,” he told her, not bothering to turn around as he grabbed more syrup out of the box and stuck them on the shelf.

From behind him, The Child began wailing loudly, and Minseok glanced back to see a sticky mess of chocolate syrup in a small puddle on the floor.

“Dammit, Daniel,” he sighed, grabbing his walkie talkie from his belt. “Not again.”

The Child quieted down abruptly and gave Minseok a blank stare.






“Clean up on aisle four,” Luhan heard Minseok say over the talkie, and rolled his eyes. Damn kids.

He saw Craig The Manager give him an expectant look from a self-checkout counter and resisted the urge to roll his eyes again.

“I’m just a lowly cart pusher,” he mumbled to himself, walking towards the double doors to see if maybe by some miracle someone had used a shopping cart in the last ten minutes.





“Hello and welcome to Walmart!” Yixing greeted happily when Craig The Manager tapped him expectantly on the shoulder.

“YIXING,” Craig The Manager began, yelling slowly in Yixing’s face. “I...NEED...YOU...TO...CLEAN...UP...AISL

E...FOUR!!!”

“Hello and welcome to Walmart,” Yixing agreed, giving Craig The Manager a salute before skipping off to grab a mop.

Craig The Manager sighed.







“Why do you keep calling him ‘Daniel?” Luhan asked Minseok as the two of them watched Yixing play hide-and-seek with The Child during their thirty-minute break.

Minseok shrugged, taking a bite of the kimbap Chanyeol had sent them.

“He clearly stated that his name is Andrew,” Luhan continued, and Minseok shrugged again.

“It’s Yixing’s fault,” he explained shortly, watching suspiciously as said man whispered something into The Child’s ear.

“How is it-” Luhan began, only to be interrupted when The Child bolted up to Minseok and began tugging insistently on the sleeve of his work shirt.

“Can I please have some sushi Mr. Miyagi?”

Luhan and Yixing began cackling loudly.

Minseok gave The Child a blank stare before reluctantly holding out his tupperware container.

“I don’t even know Karate.”







“Hey lady, where’s, like, the eyeliner at?”

Minseok turned away from where he’d been restocking frozen peas with a dark expression. Two teenage girls stared expectantly up at him, both wearing matching SHINee t-shirts. Minseok’s expression darkened further.

“Aisle seven,” Minseok told them, watching as they scoffed and tugged irritatedly at their ponytails before stalking off muttering about ‘rude Walmart employees’.





“E-Excuse me.”

Luhan turned away from where he’d been teaching The Child how to fix the carts so that they didn’t roll away to see two teenage girls wearing matching SHINee t-shirts.

“A-Are you...Luhan?” One of the girl’s asked, while the other giggled excitedly.

Luhan bent down, and The Child climbed on his back. He straightened up and shot the girl’s a blank stare. “I am but a lowly cart pusher,” he told them before walking off to warn Minseok and Yixing.






“Hello and welcome to Walmart!” Yixing greeted, fixed smile in place as two teenage girls wearing matching SHINee t-shirts walked up to his register.

“Oh my god it’s Lay!” One of the girl’s squealed quietly, while the other began nodding her head frantically.

“You’re totally my bias, can I have a picture?” The more talkative girl gushed. The other one seemed to be hyperventilating.

“Hello and welcome to Walmart,” Yixing explained apologetically, giving them an awkward wave before making a run for the break room.





“This is all your fault, Yixing!” Luhan hissed from his hidden spot behind the break room’s only door. “You said they’d never find us in Arkansas!”

“It seemed legit at the time,” Yixing replied, shrugging unapologetically from under the table. “How could any of us have possibly seen this coming?”

Minseok sighed from where he sat cross-legged on top of the vending machine, The Child laying boredly in his lap. “I really miss being a famous Asian popstar,” he admittedly sadly, petting The Child’s hair.

The Child gave Minseok’s shoulder a comforting pat, despite not knowing a word of Korean.

“I thought you said they didn’t recognize you?” Luhan pointed out, peeking up at Minseok in confusion.

“Yeah,” Minseok agreed with a shrug, “but at least there I could get hotpot. I should text Chanyeol and tell him to learn how to make hotpot.”

“Do you think they’re gone yet?” Yixing asked, shoving his head between the legs of a chair so that he could peer hopefully out through the open door.

“I ing hate you right now. I hope you ing die.”

Yixing sent Luhan an emphatic shrug.





“Excuse me, ma’am-”

“Aisle seven,” Minseok told the annoying man without turning around. He was busy showing The Child how to properly stack frozen peas.

“But you didn’t even-”

“It is on aisle seven,” Minseok ground out, curling his hands into fists.

“Lightbulbs-”

Minseok spun around, facing the man with a dark glower. “Aisle seven,” He shouted, since apparently stupid customers were deaf. “And I am a ing male!”

From the talkie strapped to Minseok’s waist, he heard a voice that sounded suspiciously like Yixing say “Wax on, wax off.”






Luhan was busy sitting on the conveyor belt of an empty check-out lane with the newest issue of Teen magazine propped up against his leg and a Green Tea Monster in his hand when he caught sight of a woman pushing a half-loaded cart out of the store.

As a cart pusher, it was his job to go out and fetch it when she was done.

Luhan idly flipped the page. “That Miley Cyrus is at it again,” he sighed, shaking his head sadly at the given picture.

A pale, obviously shaken man passed by, stopping when he saw Luhan and giving him a slightly nervous look. “Could you, um, tell me where I might find, um, lightbulbs?” He asked quietly, and Luhan sent him a shrug.

“I am but a lowly cart pusher,” he replied before taking a drink from his Monster and returning to his Teen magazine.






“Hello and welcome to Walmart,” Yixing greeted brightly as a twitchy-looking man creeped anxiously up his lane.

“Hi,” the man whispered, and Yixing thought he looked awfully high-strung for three in the morning. “C-Can you...uh...light...bulbs?”

“Hello and welcome to Walmart,” Yixing answered promptly. The man visibly twitched.

“I just...I just...I need lightbulbs, please. Where are they?”

“Hello and welcome to Walmart,” Yixing repeated, huffing slightly.

The man whimpered. “Is there maybe a manager or something...I...l-lightbulbs.”

“Hello and welcome to Walmart,” Yixing snapped, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I don’t understand,” the man cried softly, and Yixing let out an audible groan.

“I said they are on Aisle eleven, near the pet supplies,” He exclaimed, sending the man a glare. “Learn ing English, man!”

Eyes wide, the man backed up a few steps before spinning around and running away.

Yixing felt someone tap him on the shoulder, and turned around to see Craig The Manager giving him a slightly-awed look. “Did you just...” he began before pausing and starting again. “Yixing, have you known English this entire time?”

Yixing rolled his eyes. “Duh.”





“Well, in light of recent events I think it’s pretty safe to say that you’re all fired,” Craig The Manager stated, glaring at the three of them (and then sending an extra glare to The Child).

“Yes!” Minseok shouted, and Luhan let out a loud whoop, the two of them turning towards each other and sharing a high five.

“Finally!” Luhan yelled, and the two added a chest-bump to their excited repertoire. “Bam! What!”

“No,” Yixing whined, pouting at Craig The Manager. “But why?”

Craig The Manager promptly ignored him. “Whose kid is this?” He asked, pointing to The Child expectantly. The Child gave him a blank stare.

“His mother is on aisle seven,” Minseok told Craig The Manager as he and Luhan grabbed Yixing and began dragging him away. “Thank you very much for the life experience, Craig!”

“This was all Yixing’s fault,” Luhan added, sending Craig The Manager and The Child a saucy wink before they exited the break room for the last time.

“I say this time we go to New York and become baristas,” Minseok suggested to Luhan as Yixing began crying pitifully between them.

Luhan scoffed. “No way, dude. You promised that once we finished with Yixing’s Walmart we’d go to Connecticut and become sandwich artists!”

Minseok gave an over-dramatic groan. “Fine.”