A voice behind me snapped me out of my daze. I carefully turn around and see a handsome man standing in front of me. He was tall and his hair was tousled as if he just got out of bed. However, his skin is sickly pale and under his brown eyes were extremely dark circles.  

           “Hello.” His deep voice startled me. Why is he talking to me? Maybe, if I don’t say anything, he’ll leave me alone.

           My mouth remains shut and I stare at him incredulously. I watch him dig into his pocket and whip out a pack of Marlboro cigarettes and a small lighter. He brings the cancer stick to his mouth and ignites the end of it. I scrunch up my nose in distaste as the smell of nicotine fills the air and my nose. He meets my eyes, chuckles at my reaction, and releases puff of smoke in a manner that was almost as if he was mocking me. I roll my eyes.

           “Oh. It seems like someone is a little sassy.” He says teasingly. Once again, I roll my eyes.

           “Are you not going to talk?” he asked me. I look away without replying.

           “Okay, since you’re not going to talk to me, I’m just going to cut straight to the point. What do you think you’re doing trying to commit suicide? What reasons do you have to just throw yourself off the edge of a building over them?” he asked with a hint of anger in his voice. At this point, I step off the ledge of the building and march straight up to him.

           “Why the hell do you care?” I fire back.

           I hear him scoff and say, “Because it’s unfair to other people who have problems that are way worse than yours.” He’s right.

    “You have no idea what I’ve went through.” I whisper.

           “Whatever.” He throws his cigarette on the floor and steps on it before turning on his heel.

           “Wait.” I involuntarily say. I don’t know what I’m doing. I grab his forearm and look up at his face. “What’s your name?”

           His face softens before he says, “Jake. My name is Jake.”

           The next day, I walk up the fire escape of the same building from yesterday. I had no intentions of going back to the building before walking out the door, but something was gravitating me back to that place where I almost committed suicide. I can’t seem to figure out what it is that is guiding me towards the building.

           The bright afternoon sun streams into the dark stairwell as I push it ajar. There, leaning against the wall, I find Jake puffing on another cigar.

           “Hey.” I say softly. He nods his head in acknowledgement. I stand there awkwardly, while he puts out his roll of tobacco.

           “Thank you for yesterday… I guess.” I mumble the last part.

           “You’re welcome….” He drags signaling me to give my name.

           “Evelyn.”

           “Evelyn,” he repeats, “If you don’t mind me asking, what is your story? Why did you feel the need to commit suicide yesterday?”

           I heavily sigh at his question. I join him against the wall and slide down until my hits the ground. “My boyfriend… he passed away…” he stays silent.

           “We dated for 8 years and were happy together. On December 15th, he asked me to meet him at the park; he was going to propose. But then, some idiot that didn’t know how to drive ran him over. It’s been a year since I’ve lost him; a year too long. I miss him. And I can’t ever talk about this to anyone, because I hate their pity. They wouldn't understand what it's like to lose someone you care so deeply for. they didn't actually care. They would just tell me "I'm sorry for your loss" and shed tears in vain, because they don't want to seem like insensitive pricks. I didn't need that. So I kept all of these emotions bottled up inside me, and I just tried to leave it behind, but it started doing the total opposite. These emotions of pain and loss of someone I loved festered in my heart and I just couldn’t take it anymore. That’s why I wanted to commit suicide.” I concluded. My heart felt lighter with every word I said. It’s weird; I never talked about Matthew’s death to anyone, because I was afraid. But I’m talking to Jake like I’ve known him forever. He had an aura around him that was comfortable-like, because he is.

           “I’m sorry for your loss,” he says in a gloomy tone, “But that’s no reason to kill yourself over. You’ll find other guys.” He mumbles something under his breath.

           “Sorry did you say something else?” I ask.

           “No, it’s nothing.” He replies bluntly.

           “Since I’ve told you my story, tell me yours.”

           He exhales heavily before starting. “I’m sick.”

           I give him a look as if to say ‘a bit more information please.’

           “In 2007, I was diagnosed with Non Hodgkin Lymphoma, a cancer that affects the lymphatic system. The doctor put me into remission after my diagnosis. After 3 years of remission, I was naïve and started believing that I was healthy again, that I was cured. I started living my life again; doing karate, dancing, eating healthy and other stuff like that. But when I was at a karate competition, I took a kick to the chest and my breath instantly shortened. I went to my doctor about it and he told me that my diagnosis had gotten worse. I was in the last stage of the disease and it was too late to do anything. I’m not only sick, I’m dying.” He finished.

           “Your smoking act isn’t going to make it any better.” I retorted.

           “That’s the point. I’m smoking, because there’s no point in trying to live healthy. I’m smoking, because I’m going to die anyway. I’m smoking, because I want to die faster. It’s torture living every day like this.”

           “So how long? How long do you have left to live?” I croak. I feel my eyes watering up, the tears threatening to spill over. I quickly blink them away. Why am I crying? I don’t even know him. Because no one should think that there’s no point in living. These thoughts I have now totally contradict my mindset from yesterday.

           “Just two years.”

---

A/N:

omg

im so sorry ;-;

please don't hate me for having such a short update after months of being away, but I am back for summer ^^

This fic is almost finished, so that means I can work on other fics too ^^

Please check them out in my stories!!

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until next time lovelies~