It was mere three years ago that I sincerely realized the importance of life, the importance of humanity, faith, hope, dreams, and love. I must have been naive, delusional otherwise, or blinded by what I had, overlooking the tiny details of life which could truly matter in the end to make a massive change. I was oblivious to this all, to this trait especially. There were myriad times where I’d sit and wonder if I still accept this particular trait, or whether I being oblivious to it was mere pretense, whether I was afraid, but now when I looked back, things seemed to me all the more clearer than before. It wasn’t that I was oblivious or afraid of it. I was only and only waiting for someone to initialize it in my life.

In simpler words, to change my life.

And she did, three years ago, she changed me entirely.

I’m Kim Sung Gyu by the way.

And after being unable to hold this urge in myself any longer, I allowed myself to wander about to that wonderful three years and evoke the times we shared.

This is for you, Jung Eun Ji. My dearest, this is for you who vowed to share with me, this one long journey of life.

When I met her for the first time, my first impression was non-too alluring, in fact, my mind initially reacted to her by hauling me away from approaching her presence, but it was strange; something intrigued me, something about her voice, her tone, her way of speaking and her basis of speech, in intrigued me, so badly, and even now I wouldn’t take it as a bad trait of me that I went into a sudden decision to amend my general mannerisms, for, without further a due before my heart could demand otherwise, I allowed my mind to concentrate on the smooth flow of her word play. I was mesmerized. She had the most beautiful way of touching people’s heart with words, and that very moment as I sat behind her, listening to her speak, I realized; I would give anything in the world to have that wonderful voice driveling to me sweet nothings for her very tone touched my heart.

Not only the tone of her speech was intriguing, no. the words she said, they were the epitome of intellectuality, and I was mesmerized.

Never in the world have I ever thought that I would one day be asking for the heart of a world-class diplomat; but three years ago, that was exactly what I did. I fell in love with Jung Eun Ji, a diplomat.

She wasn’t a full-fledged diplomat by that time I met her at the Starbucks downtown where I typically crawled in to once I was tired of being locked up with a heavy load of work, she was fresh out of college with a PhD in foreign affairs and was a speaker for a woman’s advancement and political diplomacy, for her young age, she was beyond impressive, and I needed no more explanation in rationalizing her glorious position in political affairs, for she was a fighter. She fought for humanity, and she was capable of standing up on her own, to raise her voice to fight for justice, not only for herself, but for the country, the people and for the world. But what scared me the most was that I was completely out of her league. I was no humanitarian. No. in fact, international relationships and foreign affairs never was in my book, law and judicial studies never intrigued me, I was the owner of a pharmaceutical company, and in my perception, I had better things to deal with rather than countries and people and conflicts. I had a business to run and, well, lives to save. I was probably delusional, for I overlooked things ever so nonchalantly. I could have hardly ever noticed a dying man on the road, I was high and almighty, because I owned an entire company, it ran under my powers, and I had no need to be concerned of other matters;

But she changed me entirely, and I’m still thankful for that. I still and truly am.

After being interested in her for almost two months, solely on listening to her conversations with colleagues on policies and tactics and advancements, I finally decided to approach her and confess my interest in her, but never did I expect rejection, for I had never been rejected. Women loved me for all I had; money, looks, popularity; what else do we need?

It was somewhere during the late summer of that particular year where I finally had the audacity to reach her. The sun was glimmering brilliantly up there in the eastern sky, the scorching heat of the late season was unfathomable, it was almost noon that not many customers were present at the coffee shop. It was by the time when the ordinary crowd would head for lunch; I was ordinary too, for that matter, but something held me back, something was telling me that it would be shamefully cowardly of me if I walked out on this, for I finally had the courage to approach her, to allow my feelings to be known, thus I manned up, gathered all the courage that I could muster, climbed up on my feet, not giving one last glance to my untouched beverage which was utterly neglected , walked to where she sat and took my seat across from her. I was surprised that my courage was gradually draining in her presence. I could still recall just how I felt at that very moment under her intimate gaze, I was suddenly powerless, I was suddenly lost and drained. I felt so down and degraded before her , for we were worlds apart, we were from two universal stereotypes and it scared me, for, just under her gaze, I realized; I was chasing after something which I wasn't worthy of. I was just an almighty company owner of a pharmaceuticals, an ordinary degree holder and was just through finishing my masters in biochemistry after having wasted a year of my life in mundane matters, I had the money, looks and pride, alright; but in her presence I felt rather diminished.  It wasn't that she was causing anything unnerving on me, no, it was as though my pride was shrinking me and my presence, as though I was growing smaller. It was the mere thought that there were so many things in the world that I hadn't witnessed with my very own eyes, and this scared me. The thought of being judged in that particular aspect horrified me. I was afraid of being judged, I was afraid to see where I had gone wrong in my life and reminisce. I hated it that this took a good proportion of my precious time to reminisce things, therefore I was careful to avoid it by all means. In her presence, however, I couldn't help it but let myself to be judged. She eyed me from head to toe, -traced my actions with her darn sharp eyes, but when she finally broke into a half smile, her eyes forming crescent moons, I realized: just her smile could brighten up an entire world. Those were the aspects of a fighter, every move; genuine, every word; genuine, every smile; genuine and hers was even more wonderful. She reminded me of tulips and sunflowers, so beautiful and brilliant and tugged lightly on my heart. It was intriguing, I was mesmerized.  She was the most beautiful flower that I had ever seen in my life.

But I was never prepared for what she asked me first.

As I mentioned before, I had everything offered to me on a silver platter. Good education, a steady job, wealth and assets, popularity; therefore I had women coming after me like a second shadow. I dated once in a while; had dinner outs, visited love hotels countless times, and they loved me, they enjoyed my presence, and there was nothing more they were asking for. Money, classy dinners and , and all was well, at least for one night yet I wasn't certain of how exactly I felt. Attraction?  Lust? Love? Nothing was clear to me, as though a dark grey membrane of the stark reality was separating me from whatever that I was searching for. In all honesty, I had no real idea what love was really like. Even at the age of 28, this particular term perplexed me. I was an amateur for love. And as how I had interpreted it with my mind was that it was what my mother had for my late father, what my sister had for her son who suffered from autism, and maybe the clinginess that my neighbor had for me. Love was something which kept two people or things bonded together, and that was how far my knowledge went.

But on that late summer morning, she led my mind to think otherwise. 

On that particular day, change came to me in a form that I had never expected it to find me.

She sat right against the glass panel that day, her figure covering most of the view outside. The road was less jammed, the street was less crowded, a child passed by, his chubby hand held tightly by his mother, his eyes were on me, nevertheless,  I had no strength to smile. The sunrays casted endless ripples on her ebony hair, smile brighter than the glimmering morning dew, in her hand was her mobile phone clutched tightly, before her was her warm beverage now long forgotten.  It's strange now though, how I remember even these tiny, trivial details, but maybe these are the things that I had eventually come to learn out of my life, that even the tiniest detail mattered.

Her smile never wavered as she questioned me in her honeysuckle voice which already had me attached to her; "Honestly tell me. Are you hitting on me?"

There wasn't any deeper meaning to the essence of the question, however, I was utterly surprised by what our very first conversation turn out to be.

I had always been the rather open type, thus I replied, sincerely, "yes".

She then smiled again and looked deep into my eyes. They were beautiful, her eyes, and so were they the most intellectual.

"My standards are high"

I was rendered speechless, surprised by how her smile gave away nothing to how deep the entire statement was. Never in my life had I been given choices, or rather, such statements.  Most importantly, never in my life had I been so utterly rejected in such an unbelievable way.

And that was where everything started.

"What will they be?"  I questioned after my audacity returned. "Wealth? Popularity? A good job? Good looks? Education?  I have it all"

I could still remember it, as clear as ice, the reaction of her on my response. Her eyes were deep and gave nothing away, lips pressed into a straight line, head tilted to a side as she stared at me incessantly. Never in my life had I regretted my words than on that very moment then.

"Do you honestly want to go out with me?"

Taken aback by her audacity, I sat back and smiled. "I would like to take my chances"

I still can recall the very beauty of the smile she offered me at that time. It gave me hope, something eccentric blooming inside me like an unknown wild flower, which took me to an entirely different dimension. For once, I had wished I was somebody else.

"Is that so?" She asked me, I watched her as the sun rays casted ripples so beautifully on her porcelain skin. Perhaps that was around the time when I got to know that we tend to see even the smallest detail of a person we love as beautiful. I must have been out of place that moment, I still remember it, I could barely grasp what she said next.

"Tell me....mister..."

"Kim"

"Kim...are you honest?"

To be frank, I wasn’t sure myself then whether I could label myself as a customarily honest person. In fact, I wasn’t quite sure of the entire term of being honest, what exactly they intended to clarify by it, in shorter words, what exactly was honesty? I was a bad liar though, I still am. It upsets me quite, even, when I lie to a person and when he could tell just by looking at my face whether it was the truth that I had said; therefore I evaded the points and moments where I would have to lie or pretend, I had the worst poker face and lying never really did (Or does) come out just as I expected it. But this one trait of me, I had never thought of it to be what you call honesty. I’m always truthful to myself, I was, back then too and am (and was) quite proud of myself for it. I knew what I was doing, I never have cheated on exams, or lied to my mother or my sister. They knew me like an open book and I was satisfied myself that I had nothing to hide. But when she questioned of my honesty, I ventured silence, for I was truly doubtful of my answer.

And also she was (and still is) too intelligent for my poor moral and ethical knowledge.

It was surprising, however, when she accepted my silence as an answer and carried on.

“How about trust, loyalty, respect, humanity, nobility, passion, commitment, dedication, compassion and…love…would I find all of these in you?”

I still remember it, the strength of my impulse to truly run away, make a clear-cut escape. The truth was, I had never given any thoughts on such moral qualities of a man, or whether I really required them to go on living as an ordinary personnel. For 28 years what every woman that I had met with had asked from me were all that I already had. Wealth, assets, education; with all that, they could go on living; with all that I could go on living; not as an ordinary person though, for I was exceptionally popular, rich and powerful for all I had, I could go on as Kim Sung Gyu, the CEO of a world class business firm. But back then at that very moment when I was questioned of my very indistinct qualities (which I wasn’t certain if I possessed) I was put into a dark abyss of doubts and misshapen answers. I wasn’t certain of myself anymore, I was in qualm, I wasn’t certain whether what I already gave to the world was enough, or whether I gave to the world anything at all.

And that was the moment, I reckon, that I learned of the fact that there were many, many tiny details that I had tended to overlook as unseen as they were. They were moral aspects, weren’t visible for the misty vision of someone so powerful as I were. All of these predominant qualities were overpowered by my wealth and supremacy. Back then I had been nothing but an emotionless puppet of which the strings were moved by the regality of affluence, assets and power.

That happened to be my first legendary moment of rejection. For the first time in my life, I was rejected by a woman whom I was attracted to, I couldn’t be more ashamed of my existence, for, at that very moment, I was rendered speechless. I could utter not even a single word in response, and she accepted my silence as an answer. She had ever so clearly read my face, I happened to learn, when her next (And last for the day with me) statement came by.

“You need more time to think through, I suppose” She answered and gathered all her belongings. It was quite past the lunch hour and I was certain my employees were running hither and tither looking for me but I remember, I still and so clearly do, how I couldn’t move a single muscle in my body, everything seemed to have frozen in time when she finally stood up, her ebony long hair fallen down to the slender curve of her back, her bangs were as stiff and well placed as though they were molded, even with a slightly frowning facade, she was still so beautiful, there was no way that I could let her disappear from my sight, but that very moment, I couldn’t help myself. I was utterly surprised and still wasn’t through the sufferance of the aftermath of a brutal rejection.

She left me there, sitting by like a down-right idiot that time, I could solidly recall how her scent vanished from the ambiance around me, and by the time she was gone her beverage was still freshly warm, and beside it was a business card of herself.

‘Jung Eunji’ it said her name and then her designation, and that was when I really learned what she was and how she had learned to do it, to ever so surreptitiously but ever so efficaciously sway my heart by her simplest words. She had been rewarded for her exceptional talents, I had presumed at that time, for she was, by then playing a classy, noble role in the political field of diplomacy.

And never had I wondered, at that moment, what her position in the field of diplomacy itself, or as a person in general she had there in the store for me.

And the impulse to never let go of my chances, somehow, happened to be one of them that she had left with me in my hands at that time, and I was truly grateful for it, I still am, for she made me realize that I, Kim Sung Gyu, the CEO of the Kim Pharmaceutics Co. would never let go of that one person who initialized that one trait, namely, change in my gruesome life.

Hello everyone!

Chappy 1 up! I'm sorry, I started this as a one shot but since you all waited for a chapter, I decided to drag it a weeny bit longer and most probably make it a three-shot or so. It wouldn't't go on that long.

Excuse me for my bad English, I'm not the best at this, only trying to be better at this, i hope you forgive me.

Thank you for reading! Commenting, voting, subscribing, its all up to you. I'm happy to accept all kinds of reactions so don't hesitate to show me where I could possibly have gone wrong.

Loads of love.

Achini.