Luhan yanked the door open, stifling a sigh. December. He was really starting to hate December. It was cold, it was gloomy, and of course, there was the whole issue with...

 

"Sehun."

 

Minseok was sitting on the tattered gray couch, rifling through a familiar looking notebook. Luhan shut the door behind him before walking over to the older, leaning over the back of the couch to see what he was reading.

 

"Sehun, Sehun, Sehun." Minseok looked away from the wrinkled pages and caught Luhan in his tired, almost sad gaze. "Lu, we need to talk."

 

That made Luhan stiffen. "Do we?" he asked, suddenly nervous. As soon as he said the words, he knew the answer. Minseok confirmed it with a slow nod and a sigh.

 

"Yes, we do. We need to talk, now. Sit down." He patted the couch next to him. Luhan swallowed and climbed over the couch back, plopping down on the cushion. "So about this." Minseok held up the book. Upon seeing the cover, Luhan instantly knew what it was. Dirty, faded green, covered with doodles, scribbles, and the occasional hasty "Sehun was here". It was a diary of sorts, a kind of scrapbook, from the days when Oh Sehun was the only one in Luhan's life. "I found this in your closet. Tell me about it."

 

Those four words ignited a memory in Luhan's mind of the night they had met. Minseok had been looking at him from across the table with a worried look in his eye and a tentative hand reaching for his, as if he was considering taking it in an attempt to silently comfort him. "Tell me about it," he had said. Then, it had been out of concern and an urge to help the lonely, crying young man sitting by himself at the diner. Now, he said the same words, but for a completely different reason. Luhan had an idea as to what that reason was, but he didn't want to think about it. It hurt, and honestly, he wasn't sure how he felt about it.

 

"It's from... you know." Luhan's brain refused to work. Trying to explain, all he got was the blank statement that he had just voiced. He concentrated on Minseok's conflicted face and tried again. "It's from when I was... dating Sehun."

 

Minseok failed to hold back a scoff. "Well obviously. That's not hard to figure out." He opened the book to a random page and read the contents out loud. "Halloween, 2012. Went out with Se, Tao, and Kris."

 

Blood roared in Luhan's ears. The Halloween of 2012. He remembered that night vivdly. It had been their last Halloween together. They had gone out into the streets with their friends Huang Zitao and Wu Yifan, who went by Kris. Sehun had refused to wear a costume, despite Luhan's relentless nagging for him to. Luhan himself had simply dressed in all brown and gotten a headband with antlers on them and called it good, much to Sehun's amusement. Tao had gone black and white, with a pair of little black panda ears and a little black panda nose drawn on with a marker.  Kris had followed grumpily  with a set of bat-like dragon wings on his back and a long spiked tail trailing along behind him, holding the Gucci bag Tao stored his candy, phone, makeup, and other "necessities" in. They had gone from house to house, wading through seas of costumed children and flustered parents, and pretty much had a good time. After they finished doing the trick-or-treating Tao said they should never grow out of, they decided, hey, you know what'd be a great idea? Visiting a haunted house!

 

So they did. Within the first minute, Tao was clinging to Kris, whimpering, "Ge, I don't want to do this, ge, I wanna leave," and so on. Luhan had honestly tried to maintain his "manliness" but utterly failed as soon as they encountered their first scare. A masked person had jumped out of the dark at them, and he had screamed a manly scream and practically jumped into Sehun's arms. Sehun, evil as always, had laughed and pushed his boyfriend away gently. 

 

"Real manly, Luhan," he had snickered. Luhan had brushed himself off and given Sehun a pouting look. Sehun had sighed and rolled his eyes, then pulled the shorter in for a quick hug and a kiss. "Lu, you're not manly, you and I both know that. But I'll be here, so don't worry, okay?"

 

Luhan jolted back to the present. He shook himself free of the memory and quickly swiped the back of his hand over his eyes. Minseok was still reading the entry, frowning. 

 

"Uh... Minseok." Luhan wet his lips and tapped his lover on the shoulder.

 

Minseok's shoulders slumped. He turned to Luhan with a measured look in his eyes. "You know, I'll just get straight to the point here. You still love Sehun. You love him so much, I wonder if there's even room in there for me." He pushed a finger into Luhan's chest, right where his heart was. "I'm always going to be second, Lu. I can tell. I don't know if I can live with you knowing that." He set his mouth in a thin line when Luhan opened his mouth to respond. "You don't have to say anything," he said. "Just want you to know this. I'm not asking you to forget him, but..." Minseok hung his head suddenly. "At least think about it for a while. Please."

 

 

 

---

 

 

Jongdae had been the spark that lit a passion for singing of Minseok's own. Even after he died, that fire kept burning and only ever grew. 

 

Now, walking into an empty practice room, he realized he just wasn't in the mood. Too much was going on his head. December. He was really starting to hate December. It was cold, it was gloomy, and of course, there was the whole issue with...

 

Wait, what?

 

There was someone else in the room. Sitting on the old table by the far wall, thumbing through a packet of papers, was a person Minseok swore he'd seen before. The person looked up, revealing wide eyes and heart-shaped lips, and he knew instantly who it was.

 

"You—you were Jongdae's friend." 

 

Kyungsoo sighed. "Of course that's how you remember me. Don't blame you, but..." He rolled his eyes and set down the sheets he was holding before standing up to walk over to Minseok. "Close the door. I came in to talk."

 

Minseok came to his senses. He did as Kyungsoo said, then let his gaze fall onto the shorter man. "Sorry, I... What was your name again?"

 

"Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo. Stage name D.O." He mumbled the words like he'd said them hundreds of times and was growing tired of them. "So... Long time no see, Xiumin. How are you?"

 

Shock jolted through Minseok. "How'd you know-"

 

"I know the guy who owns the place," Kyungsoo interrupted with a wave of his hand. "He told me all about how you're getting ready for your big debut and everything." He gave the other a piercing look. "I want your honest opinion. Do you think you'd last in a big company? Or would you rather go solo? Either way, it'll be hard." 

 

"What?" It took a moment for Minseok to process this. "I... Why do you ask?"

 

"We're always looking for new talent," Kyungsoo told him. "The company I'm in, they're decent. I mean, I've held up, haven't I?"

 

Once again Minseok had to take time to think about what this owl-eyed young man was saying. New talent—oh. "This is why you showed up? You wanted to get me to join your entertainment company?" he snapped. "What were you even doing anyways? That's my stuff you were looking through."

 

Kyungsoo held up his hands in mock surrender. "Well," he said. "Obviously we've both changed these past few years. You're a lot more... angry than before. Jongdae was good for you. This... Luhan. It's not going very well, is it? I can tell." With a knowing look, he led the other over to the table and handed the papers to Minseok, whose mind was currently a hurricane of conflicting emotions. "I found these on the table. Don't know how they got here."

 

Shaky hands received the papers. Minseok forced his fingers to still and examined the top paper carefully. It was sheet music, with lyrics written under the notes. "Miracles in December," he read aloud. His voice wavered. There was a signature underneath the title, an achingly familiar one. "Jongdae." He looked back up at Kyungsoo. "Did he write this? Did you know?" 

 

Kyungsoo shrugged. "No idea." He frowned slightly. "I think you got the wrong idea. I wanted to talk about... What's been going on. Jongdae told me to watch you. He really worried." He plopped back down onto the worn wooden surface and motioned for Minseok to sit down next to him. "So, the guy you're with—Luhan. Tell me about him."

 

Minseok's eyes turned stony. "You think I'm just going to tell a stranger all about my love life?" In the back of his mind, a voice was saying, "That's what you did. That's what Luhan did." He tried to ignore it. It was different, he told himself. Not like now.

 

"Look, you can trust me. Jongdae trusted me. Or don't your trust his judgement?"

 

That hit a nerve. "Shut up," Minseok hissed. A surprised look appeared on Kyungsoo's face. "How dare you try to tell me what Jongdae wanted, as if he told you all those things?"

 

"I didn't-"

 

"You think were anywhere near as close to him as I was? As I am?"

 

"Minseok, I-"

 

"Get out." Minseok rose, staring down at the other with a fierce light in his eyes. "Leave. Right now."

 

Kyungsoo lurched to his feet, forehead creased in worry. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

 

"I said leave."

 

With one last distressed glance, the young singer hurried out of the room, slamming the door behind him. The harsh sound rang in the air, mixing with the guilt and blood roaring in Minseok's ears.

 

"Well that wasn't very nice of you."

 

"Jongdae, please." Minseok turned towards the voice. There was that blurry figure he'd grown used to seeing after things went wrong. "Do you always have to rub it in my face that I mess up so bad?"

 

The figure shrugged, a smirk on his face. "Be glad I even show up. It's not easy, you know."

 

"Yeah, but still..."

 

"You really should have been nicer to 'Soo, by the way. He's just trying to help."

 

Minseok flushed. "I know. I just... Did you really tell him to watch me? Because I don't need watching."

 

Jongdae just smiled mysteriously. "Oh, and that music? You're welcome. I think I have to go now, sorry, I'll-" His form wavered, then vanished.

 

"No, wait, not again-!" Minseok yelped. "Jongdae, god dammit, why don't you ever stay longer?"

 

"We have trouble trying to walk among the living. I try, but it's not the same for me. Jongdae has a more solid anchor to appear to. Me, not so much."

 

Minseok let out a high-pitched squeak of surprise at the new, unfamiliar voice behind him. Turning, for a second he didn't see anything, but then caught a glimpse of a barely visible form in front of him. A young man with a face he had seen before somewhere, flickering in and out of sight like static. "Who're you?" Even as he asked, he knew exactly who it was. The answer was brief and direct. No mystery, not like Jongdae kept acting.

 

"Oh Sehun. Heard of me, I guess?"

 

 

 

---

 

 

A/N: Huh, is it just me or is this chapter longer than usual? ... idk.

i think this turned out better than the others, i like how it went :D 

also oh did you just pull a cliffhanger thats low bro

yeah

i did

anyways, author out-